I'll Try to Win This Time
I'll Try to Win This Time
It was spectacular.
Linda's fists rapidly struck the body of the snake-shaped monster.
Agnes's rapier swiftly stabbed the seemingly weak points multiple times.
Flora's fireball flew towards the monster and exploded with a 'pang!'
And finally, as Kylon drew a beautiful arc with his sword, the monster instantly became tattered and showed signs of exhaustion.
I watched with a sense of wonder, thinking, 'Is this the power of the Hero Party?', but in the end, it was their fight, not mine.
Ultimately, I realized that I was excluded because I had no abilities.
No matter how much they told me it was okay to just stay put, if I realized on my own that I was being left out because I couldn't do anything, then such a feeling of emptiness would inevitably arise.
I can endure pain.
Even if I die, I cannot truly die.
My blood could even heal others.
But with self-harm forbidden now, all I could do was 'not die,' so I didn't have the power to join them and fight in sync.
Yes, the problem was that I wasn't specialized in combat.
I was the Hero Party's only healer, yet I wasn't even allowed to heal, merely a civilian who was protected.
That's why I felt alienated and disheartened.
-Kweeeeeeeek!
A monster, said to appear only in the mid-to-late stages, bared its sharp fangs.
Its size was comparable to an anaconda one might see in the Amazon, and seeing it burrow into the ground made it truly terrifying.
Was it perhaps devouring the ruins of the Holy Land? As I watched them fight with such thoughts, the voice of God I had heard before seemed to tickle my ear.
Pray, it said. Offer your prayers to the heavens.
It seemed to be telling me that if I believed in it and prayed to it, I too could gain power.
But the moment that method seeped into my mind, I furrowed my glabellum, wondering if I should use it.
No, I promised. I wouldn't harm my own body.
Even if I were to lay a hand on myself, that's not it.
While I was thinking that, the hand holding the morning star twitched.
I even thought about putting down this morning star and taking out the dagger hidden beneath my skirt.
However, in the end, I couldn't do anything. My thoughts remained just thoughts, and ultimately, I could only watch their battle from behind, feeling helpless.
Why do I feel so lonely when we're all together like this?
What's so bad about being safe and not fighting that I have to feel this way?
They say you can never truly understand a person's heart, but I never dreamed that would apply to my own.
Oh, God.
If you truly exist, and if you can grant me strength, will you listen to this prayer?
I earnestly pray that they do not get hurt.
Even with this, I want to help.
I clasped my hands and prayed.
Having heard God's voice, there was no reason not to believe in God.
So, I earnestly closed my eyes and offered a prayer towards Kylon in front of me, and towards the other heroines.
However, because I couldn't meet the conditions, my prayer did not become a reality.
Ultimately, I realized that if I didn't break my promise with Kylon, I would continue to be left out. With that thought, I looked at them.
*
A day after the battle ended, we arrived at the second village. Unlike the previous village, this one was built of stone, not wood, which I could see with my own eyes.
Looking around from that spot, Kylon cautiously opened his mouth.
"Let's resupply here and then depart again tomorrow."
Among the heroines, who hadn't been greatly flustered by the sudden encounter with the monster, Flora slightly raised her hand and asked him.
"Kylon, is there nothing to do here?"
"No. This is just a passing-through route."
Kylon, who had nodded and answered her question, then allowed them to disperse, deciding to have a short period of individual activity.
At first, Linda and Agnes tried not to separate, but Kylon said he had something personal to do, so they ultimately couldn't win and trudged off separately.
Everyone headed somewhere different: Linda pondered buying new clothes and went to a clothing store, Agnes seemed interested in accessories and headed to a jewelry shop. Finally, Flora let out a 'hmm' and seemed to decide to go into the inn first to rest.
Left alone like that, I glanced at Kylon while observing my surroundings.
Since everyone had disappeared, was it okay for me to follow Kylon? Or should I just go into the inn first with Flora?
As I was pondering, unsure of what to do, Kylon grabbed my arm with a 'thud' and led me.
"You, follow me."
"Huh, huh?"
"Didn't you say you didn't want to wear clothes with slits up the thigh? Is that outfit okay right now?"
Ah, that's right.
I had forgotten that after the monster tore it, the left sleeve of my Saintess's Robes, which usually covered my body tightly, was gone, and I was wearing Saintess's Robes with a slit up the side of my thigh, revealing my garter belt.
The truth was, while skirts looked pretty when worn, they didn't cling tightly to my body, so unless I looked, there was no way for me to know if it was exposed to others or well-covered.
That's why I had completely forgotten that my thigh was visible to others.
Realizing that fact from Kylon's words, I lowered my face deeply and followed his lead powerlessly.
The place we arrived at was a tailor shop. Kylon had already erased the blood with Cheonggyeol Mabeop, so only the sleeve needed to be properly repaired.
After leaving the clothes at the tailor shop, Kylon turned his steps again and looked around, searching the village here and there.
His demeanor made it seem as if he was looking for something, so I tilted my head and stared at him intently.
"...Kylon, what are you looking for?"
In response to that question, Kylon briefly cast his gaze at me before answering in a low voice.
"The Black Market."
The Black Market? My glabellum furrowed automatically, wondering if he was talking about that hypnosis tool he was looking for before, to 'get' Flora first.
Wait, he said he couldn't do conditioning before, so why suddenly the Black Market? Could it be that he's not looking for a hypnosis tool?
Many thoughts raced through my mind, but as someone who hadn't played the game, I didn't know what was sold in the Black Market or what among those items he might need, so I ultimately had no choice but to ask again.
"What do they sell there...?"
"Hmm, a hypnosis tool to use on Flora?"
"...But you said you couldn't do conditioning before."
"That's because I don't like dealing with someone who's sober and creating a power dynamic. Hypnosis makes them obedient without anyone being unhappy, you know."
"......Wow."
It was an answer that could only make me shudder.
I remembered him saying he couldn't use it on me because I had a mental barrier, and I felt truly relieved.
"But why are you suddenly looking for that again? You couldn't find it when we were in the Royal Capital before."
"Originally, I thought it might not exist in the Royal Capital at all, but seeing the monster we just encountered appear at this timing, it seems like a Black Market could pop up anywhere, anytime, so I'm looking for it now."
"...What about Flora's Mesugaki concept?"
"Ah, that. ...The game's Hero's personality and my personality don't match, so she wasn't acting like a Mesugaki, so I gave up on that and I'm just going to use hypnosis..."
Kylon seemed to have his own share of worries.
So, Kylon was lying from the start, then?
He said he couldn't do conditioning, yet wasn't he conditioning the other girls besides Agnes right now? Isn't acting like a sadist towards someone with masochistic tendencies a form of conditioning?
Isn't manipulating a normal person's mind with hypnosis also conditioning?
Hmm, Kylon is quite a liar, isn't he?
As soon as that thought crossed my mind, my eyebrow seemed to twitch once.
And as the corners of my mouth seemed to curl up on their own, I nudged his arm with my elbow and said.
"Hmph, hypnosis conditioning? Who was it that said they couldn't do conditioning~?"
"......."
"You said you hated lies, but it seems Kylon tells lies too, huh?"
Before, I would become really hesitant, feeling like a sinner, but this time, I thought it was good that I could release my own accumulated feelings of injustice and resentment from back then, and so I said it.
At that, Kylon let out a sigh mixed with a groan, 'Haaah.'
But seeing him unable to say anything, I knew that this time, too, it proved he had nothing to say.
"...Veronica."
"Huh?"
"Why are you acting so lovely?"
"No, wait a minute."
I was just trying to tease him, but Kylon's hand instantly wrapped around my waist.
I quickly looked around, intending to say that someone might see us and try to get away, but this area was an alley, so there was no one watching.
More than that, I was just trying to get one over on him after what happened before by calling him a liar, so what exactly was so lovely about that?
"Your voice tone goes up, so you really are pretty, aren't you?"
"...Crazy bastard."
I wondered if that was the cause.