It's Okay, Don't Take It Off
It's Okay, Don't Take It Off
My stomach rumbled, I was hungry. But it was okay.
Eating would eventually lead to a sense of loss, and then I might no longer be able to endure on my own.
I didn't want to break down. Eating with semen wasn't great, and at this moment, I was reluctant to eat normally either. My only choice was not to eat at all from the start.
Having skipped breakfast and then lunch, I remained alone in my room this afternoon, trying hard to endure the sensation of my stomach shrinking.
Agnes had gone into Linda's room, supposedly to talk with Kylon for a bit, but I just thought, 'Well, she'll handle it,' and curled up on the bed.
I had stirred things up a bit for Agnes yesterday and today, and thanks to that, I decided to be grateful for the situation where no one would say anything even if I just rolled around in bed by myself.
I hadn't expected things to turn out this way, and I even found myself having a strange thought: 'Don't people roughly anticipate future events and act accordingly?' I frowned.
Should I really eat something? After eating all three meals every day, suddenly skipping two meals was truly a unique kind of torment.
If I had skipped one or two meals from the beginning, this wouldn't have happened, but it was truly driving me crazy.
After suffering for a long time, I unconsciously placed my hand on my thigh.
My hand fumbled on my right thigh where the Self-defense Dagger was, and I immediately lifted my skirt and pulled out the Dagger from within.
I had heard somewhere that a person can only feel one pain at a time.
Wouldn't it be slightly better to feel pain elsewhere than to feel my insides constricting and my stomach shrinking? Such a foolish thought crossed my mind.
But there was a part of me that thought, 'Perhaps this isn't such a bad method after all?'
So, after quietly staring at it, I hurriedly sat up on the bed and lightly gripped the hilt of the Dagger.
My abilities must have disappeared, so I shouldn't stab too deeply.
Just pressing it firmly enough to reduce this stomach pain would be sufficient.
Therefore, I took a deep breath, carefully placed the blade against my finger, and pressed down firmly.
Then, the stinging sensation of the sharp blade digging into my finger soon penetrated my skin a little deeper, turning into pain.
Ah, no. If I do more, Kylon will find out.
Because now, my body won't be able to heal wounds.
Thinking that, I immediately pulled out the Dagger and looked at my left index finger, where a wound had formed and blood was beginning to well up.
The drop of blood grew larger and larger, turning into a sphere, and at its peak, it became so big that the surface tension couldn't hold, and it burst, losing its shape.
To prevent the blood flowing down my finger from touching my clothes, I began to suck on it with my mouth, and as I tasted the iron in my mouth, I licked the wound with my tongue, hoping it would heal quickly.
Lick.
After licking it for a long time, I exhaled and pulled my hand away, looking at the index finger I had just been sucking.
Whether it was thanks to my tongue, my saliva, or simply because the wound wasn't very deep and healed quickly, I felt relieved that it had healed so fast. I then gripped the Dagger tightly again to erase the pain of hunger that was returning.
Plunge.
"Ah, I made a mistake..."
It hurts. It hurts.
I was trying to control my strength, but I was so focused on it and tensed my hand that a single slip caused me to exert too much force.
I quietly looked at the finger where the blade had dug in deeply, and thinking that sucking on this would only make the wound hurt more, I held it far away from my clothes and my body.
The deep, straight cut throbbed painfully. It was aching, making its presence known as if to announce the pain.
Blood dripped, dripped, towards the floor.
My Hymen is gone, so my body won't heal on its own anymore, what should I do?
It hurts too much.
As I watched the drops of blood falling to the floor, looking helpless, the throbbing in my hand disappeared, and at the same time, the blood dripping to the floor gradually lessened.
"......Huh?"
After my Hymen was broken, I was certain my abilities were gone, so I hadn't wounded myself since then.
More than anything, Kylon had protected me even more to prevent me from getting hurt, so I had no idea in my wildest dreams that this ability would have returned.
It was true that I couldn't blindly trust what the King had said in the first place, but for now, it was something I didn't understand.
I had many things to ponder: whether my abilities didn't disappear just by my Hymen being pierced, or if the standard for 'losing my virginity' was slightly different from what I thought.
Why is this happening? What's the problem?
Even amidst this confusion, one thing was certain: my ability to heal myself at will had not disappeared.
The fact that my abilities didn't disappear even after my Hymen was pierced, does that mean losing my virginity is different from losing my Hymen?
I couldn't understand it at all, so I had no idea what to say or do.
"......."
I put the Dagger back into its sheath on my thigh.
And just in case, I pushed it into a table drawer and cautiously looked around.
I saw a rag in the corner of the room, and after quickly wiping the blood with it, I felt relieved.
It was because I felt Kylon shouldn't find out.
The 'Hymen Piercing Show' was something I had done, thinking, 'Just piercing my Hymen should be enough, right?' But if Kylon were to find out that it didn't end there, it was clear what I would have to endure without even seeing it.
After letting out a groan, I looked towards the room where Kylon, Agnes, and Linda were.
Feeling cold sweat, I carefully removed my Veil and placed it on the table.
Perhaps it was due to a sudden surge of fear, but after shaking my stifling hair once and tidying it, I flinched at the sound of the door opening.
Turning my head towards the opening door and putting on the Veil I had picked up again, I saw Agnes there.
"Ah, that, Saintess-nim."
You startled me.
I thought my heart was going to drop.
"Yes?"
Not wanting to unnecessarily reveal that my abilities had returned, I calmly looked at Agnes.
As I watched her brilliant blonde hair sway, she saw my reaction and cautiously continued speaking.
"Thanks to you, I feel a little closer to Kylon."
"That's a relief."
Kylon's second whore telling me about her progress was something I just listened to indifferently.
The day would surely come when she would explicitly say that she was getting more and more addicted to Kylon and couldn't escape.
Come to think of it, Linda is a Masochist, Flora is Hypnosis, so what is Agnes?
I don't know. Well, I figured it wouldn't be much help even if I did know, so I just let it be, and Agnes continued speaking.
"Oh, now that I think about it, you haven't eaten a single meal today. Kylon said he'd buy you food and was looking for Saintess-nim."
I almost freaked out, thinking, 'Why Kylon, me?' but once I heard the reason, I quickly understood.
Still, seeing that he was trying to get me food separately, I figured he must be a good guy, so I nodded.
"Ah... thank you for letting me know."
"You're not sick, are you?"
"No, no. I'm fine."
More than that, just having a few conversations with her made me feel strange, as if she had developed a liking for me, moving from being a target of caution.
She didn't need to get that close to me, but seeing her act so friendly made me feel like I couldn't adapt.
After hearing Agnes's words, I looked around myself, then intently stared at the table drawer, wondering if I should take the Dagger again. However, I decided against it, thinking it might cause trouble if Kylon, who was unnecessarily sharp, found me with it and took it away too.
I knocked on the door of Kylon's room and entered, finding Linda, who looked quite displeased, and Kylon, who was already ready to leave.
"Ah, you're here. Linda, stay with Agnes in the next room for a bit."
"Mhm. Got it."
I wondered if it was because of Agnes, but then I realized that I had essentially 'stolen' Kylon, and I sighed inwardly.
It felt like Agnes's Favorability Score had gone up, while Linda's had not only hit rock bottom but was digging a basement to go even lower.
It would be great if it just balanced out to zero, but I was keenly feeling through these human relationships that the world wasn't so easy.
Having left the inn, I walked cautiously beside Kylon.
My Veil, Cape, and dress, adorned with golden threads embroidered in various places, were draped over my body, and perhaps because of that, many people's gazes were fixed on me.
And occasionally, there were people making strange expressions.
Feeling those gazes, I quietly followed Kylon. He packed food from a Royal Capital street vendor, put it into his Inventory, and then led me to a secluded spot.
Arriving at the outskirts of the Royal Capital, a place where I thought there would be no people and no one would pass by, I looked around and then at Kylon.
"Why all the way out here to eat...?"
"...Are you asking because you don't know?"
As I narrowed my Glabellum and questioned Kylon, he was unbuckling his belt with an expression that suggested my question was strange.
Seeing his intention to take off his pants, I widened my eyes and, in shock, mumbled with my mouth agape.
I knew well why he was going to such lengths, and I was grateful for his intentions, but I wanted to decline.
"I-I'm fine, so don't take it off...!"