What Does a Person Live For? (6)
p In a brand-new horizon of blinding white light, I stared in wonder.
But my hand froze mid-swing.
“…No.”
Instinct whispered.
This moment of awakening is only now.
If I miss it, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.
Memories of the past resurfaced in my mind. In my first-class peak, on the verge of the Integration Grand Completion, I had once let a profound realization slip away.
Was I about to repeat the same bitter regret?
Gradually, the radiant light around me began to fade.
Instinct warned again.
Something whispered beside my ear, shaking my heart violently.
The realm I had yearned for all my life was right here.
Why would I stop now?
Had my belief that one could die happy after obtaining the Dao in the morning withered away inside me?
And then, with fierce determination, I shouted toward the questions echoing inside my heart.
“So it’s not that!”
Kwa-ching!
At the same instant, the white world around me shattered completely.
I shouted at the voice that had been coaxing me deeper, promising to lead me somewhere.
“This is not my way!”
Tsu-tsu-tsu-
The raging power that had been about to explode inside my body began to subside.
It looked like a foolish mistake, letting the awakening slip by.
But only after overcoming that fatal temptation could I be truly certain.
It was wrong.
‘What exactly was wrong?’
I asked myself.
‘You could have gone even higher. You missed the chance! Just like before, when you discarded your entire life in one go to seize the opportunity from first-class to the Integration Grand Completion, you’re about to throw another life away! This life, too, you’ll suffer nineteen hundred years of torment just to clear your mind!’
I lashed out at myself.
But only when I escaped the light and met Kang Min-hee’s eyes in the darkness did I finally understand.
Why I had suddenly kicked my own awakening away.
It was because…
“…I should not be the one to cut it down.”
When I had let the awakening of the Integration Grand Completion slip, the thing I had failed to cut was only a leaf.
If I had cut that leaf then, I would have ascended to the Integration Grand Completion.
But now, the thing I had to cut was Kang Min-hee.
‘This is ridiculous. To reach the realm of Sitting Liberation and Standing Death, shouldn’t I sever all connections?’
I shouted at myself.
‘Cut! Sever! Cut away every lingering attachment and obsession, and rise to the next realm!’
“…Wrong.”
I answered myself while gripping my sword.
Most painful of all was the fact that, even though I had left the space of the blinding white light, the awakening effects still lingered. Countless martial possibilities, including the attack trajectories of Kang Min-hee, filled my vision.
If I continued unfolding the Thirty-First Form of Dan-ak Sword Art according to those possibilities, I could surely cut her down.
I could even reach the Integration Grand Completion and kill the Void Refinement stage Kang Min-hee.
But I did not.
Instead, ignoring the awakening that descended from the realm of instinct, I charged straight at Kang Min-hee.
‘Cut her down, Seo Eun-hyun!’
“I will not cut.”
‘Isn’t the thing in my hand a sword?!’
I stared at my own sword in protest.
The Colorless Glass Sword had become the Thread of Formlessness.
What was the special nature of the Thread of Formlessness?
It was that, even if it shattered or was sent flying far away, as long as the form of the treasure remained inside the mindscape, one could revive and retrieve it through the mindscape.
The treasure itself had divided into two tiers, just like the original spirit of the Sword Qi.
And that meant it could change shape at will, like a cloud.
My Colorless Glass Sword had already completely fused with the All-Heaven Sword, becoming a thin line.
A line was the optimal form for cutting.
It was no different from holding the concept of “cutting” in my hand.
But was a line only for cutting?
I began to ignore the voice inside me that commanded me to cut Kang Min-hee.
Earlier, when Changhoja and Oh Hyun-seok had bought me time, I had thought I could only exert full power through cutting and stabbing, which was why I had accepted their help.
When the ghost kings of Black Ghost Valley, who had come from the Water Realm, had detonated themselves near Kang Min-hee, I had thought there was no other method than to unleash my sword dance.
But wasn’t that ridiculous?
Even though the sword was made to cut and stab things, a true sword cultivator should also know how to block, deflect, and release, shouldn’t they?
The limit of the sword was not the limit of cutting.
‘But it was created to cut and stab.’
That was also true.
This was a thing made to cut, stab, and kill.
But the act of cutting, stabbing, and killing served different purposes depending on the intent.
A sword could be used to chop vegetables and meat to make stir-fried rice, or to cleave the air for sword dance, or to temper oneself to the limit of one’s capacity.
Even if it was ultimately for cutting and stabbing and killing, the one who performed it was a person.
As a sword cultivator holding the sword, I declared,
“I will not cut my connections!”
Paaaaah!
At the same time, I felt something shattering deep inside me.
‘So that’s it…’
It had been the food of the True Monarch, the cause of my awakening.
The heart demon that Cheongmun Seon-woo had presented was the heart demon of the True Monarch.
The heart demon was so insidious that ordinary heart demons would have been devoured by me, yet this one was so intricate and robust that I could not even distinguish it from myself.
It was intricate and strong.
The heart demon of the True Monarch shuddered upon hearing my answer.
But it did not vanish completely. Instead, it unfolded the possibilities of a new realm right in front of my eyes.
The power of the Thirty-First Form of Dan-ak Sword Art had become even clearer.
The possibility of the Thirty-First Form of Dan-ak Sword Art had become even freer!
It was an extremely certain possibility.
But I ignored the possibility presented by the True Monarch and completely released the thing in my hand.
‘Are you mad, Seo Eun-hyun? Releasing your sword?!’
“It has already been inside me. I have never let it go.”
The heart demon shook my heart violently.
The act of releasing the sword earlier had felt incredibly foolish and foolish.
But I paid it no heed and advanced toward Kang Min-hee while still holding the sword.
‘What are you going to do to stop Kang Min-hee after releasing the sword?!’
Yet I declared while igniting the initial stance of the Thirty-First Form of Dan-ak Sword Art around me,
“It has already been inside me. This can block it.”
The misty white clouds of the Thirty-First Form of Dan-ak Sword Art, which embodied the Ten Thousand Phenomena Affinity Diagram, enveloped me.
‘Wrong… Releasing the sword means releasing the act of cutting. Your Thirty-First Form of Dan-ak Sword Art cannot cut anything!’
In the literal sense, when one released the sword and unfolded the stance, the qi had vanished.
Originally, it had been a technique that manifested the mist of the Ten Thousand Phenomena Affinity Diagram as clouds of sword qi.
But what was unfolding now was nothing more than grayish fog.
With half my eyes closed, I dove into the cloud of grudges that engulfed Kang Min-hee and realized,
This was no longer a simple clash between Kang Min-hee and me.
Now, my action was a battle between the heart demon and myself.
I had finally noticed that the Strange Star-Mind Scroll, which had once connected me to Kim Yeon through the heart demon, had completely severed.
I told the heart demon,
“You severed the connection.”
‘Only you severed it. To cut all connections and become heartless, you unconsciously severed Kim Yeon’s consciousness!’
“…Severing is not the only path to the Void.”
I began repelling the ghosts that rushed toward me.
The misty white clouds pierced through the ghosts and began carving a path toward Kang Min-hee in the center.
“Embrace the connections and become impermanent. This is the awakening of one who has reached the extreme of the world.”
‘Aren’t you just muttering words you don’t even understand the meaning of?! That’s not awakening, that’s just a spell!’
“…Correct. I myself don’t fully grasp the true meaning of the incantation.”
Tung!
Repelling the ghosts.
Since I was only repelling, not cutting them down to nothingness, the number of ghosts rushing at me gradually increased.
Each one that was repelled would return, making endurance increasingly difficult.
“But there is one thing that is certain.”
One can die happy after obtaining the Dao in the morning.
The Dao is ultimately a path.
It is the path one must walk.
And the meaning of Sitting Liberation and Standing Death was that finding the path to die was of far greater value than actually dying.
“My path is one I cannot sever connections from!”
So…
“If connections cannot be severed, the next realm does not matter!”
Pasasak-
At the same time, I no longer listened to the heart demon’s words and charged forward.
And instead, I began to feel.
The connections I had here.
Myself and Kang Min-hee themselves.
She had been full of affection and consideration.
Even when she seemed cold and lacking in social grace, her heart was warm.
When irritated things happened, she would outwardly be harsh, but in private spaces she would become gentle.
Because of someone like her, she had borne the grudges of these countless ghosts in her heart.
It had been Kang Min-hee, with her broad heart that could harbor the excruciating pain of these tragic ghosts.
But when one bore the suffering of others…
Who would bear her own suffering?
Kwoong!
Finally, I broke through the ghosts and reached the barrier that enveloped Kang Min-hee.
A barrier formed from the fused bodies of the ghost kings.
To cross this barrier, I would have to cut it.
But due to the influence of the heart demon, my attacks lost all qi.
I had to pierce this wall without cutting or stabbing.
It seemed impossible.
Yes, just like…
Like the mission that Jang Ik had given me—to cut the stars.
I recalled the All-Heaven Sword that had been hurled into the sky.
The All-Heaven Sword could be summoned at any time.
And by cutting with it, I could pierce the barrier.
But I did not.
‘Idiot. Are you planning to die here without accomplishing anything?’
“It is not death.”
I replied, eyes glowing with the heart demon’s words.
Kang Min-hee’s ghost form flew toward me.
I dodged her ruthless strikes and shouted,
“Even if someone dies for any reason or for any cause, there is no such thing as death in this world!”
Death held meaning.
Because life held meaning until reaching that death.
Why was life meaningful?
Wasn’t it that the seemingly empty life, from the perspective of death, was neither blessing nor curse but simply invisible life?
“Embrace all connections and become impermanent, just as one becomes colorless by gathering all righteousness.”
Perhaps life was meaningful precisely because it was not empty but full.
Perhaps there was no essential difference between emptiness and fullness.
Just as the realm of colorlessness emerged when meanings merged,
Perhaps the meaning of impermanence emerged when connections merged!
So…
I will not die here.
Paaaaah!
Light began to emanate from my body.
The misty white clouds of the Thirty-First Form of Dan-ak Sword Art, which embodied the Ten Thousand Phenomena Affinity Diagram, shone brightly.
That light completely expelled the light of the True Monarch from my body.
Ironically, the True Monarch had only ever been a hindrance to me, beyond supplementing my qi.
The enormous mass of the heart demon had been the food of the True Monarch, which turned even its own nourishment into poison.
Tremble… tremble…
I sensed the true nature of the heart demon within the True Monarch.
More precisely, I sensed the ‘cause’ that had created the heart demon.
It was a small red mist.
Thinking back, even though it was an ancient spirit, it was the fruit of a tree that had sealed the power of Hyeol-eum, the remains of Yu Ho-deok, for thousands of years.
It was impossible for Hyeol-eum’s qi not to have touched it.
Thinking back, I should have suspected from the moment Seo Hyul had triggered the ‘Blood Demon Devouring Technique’ that had caused the Ten Thousand Phenomena Affinity Diagram to form an attraction with Hyeol-eum after escaping my shadow.
At some point, led by Seo Hyul, I had eaten the Ten Thousand Phenomena Affinity Diagram contaminated by Hyeol-eum.
That was what had created the heart demon of today.
But it was done.
After all, I had reached the answer by passing through the heart demon.
Flash!
The light swirled, and the next instant, together with the clouds, I leaped fully into the realm of the soul!
The entire body.
The entire domain!
I took a single step into the realm beyond.
This was the realm that some called the Integration Grand Completion.
Standing in the white light mist, I stepped into the realm of the soul and drew the sword from my heart.
The sword, without cutting anyone, became a sword curtain and flung away the countless ghosts, including the barriers and areas of Kang Min-hee, together with intense light.
Tsu-tsu-tsu!
And I finally accepted the qi of the ghosts inside the barrier and dove straight toward the gigantic chest of Kang Min-hee, whose size had expanded by one Chun-gong.
Chwa-k!
Inside Kang Min-hee’s chest.
The darkness formed from ghost qi was sticky and slimy.
This darkness, which extended into the realm of the soul, had become an even greater obstacle for me, who had fully stepped into the realm of the soul.
Yet I paid it no heed and, piercing through all obstacles, dove straight into her depths.
And finally…
Paaaah!
Together with the misty white clouds, I arrived at the familiar place.
Kang Min-hee’s domain.
Brand-new white clouds in the light of ten thousand autumns.
At the center of those white clouds, Kang Min-hee’s true body wept.
She, now changed into a shadow of the sword, shed blue tears.
I walked slowly toward her.
—Don’t come.
Kang Min-hee’s voice echoed in my mind.
—It hurts me when you get hurt.
Even with my eyes that had entered the realm of the soul, I could sense every suppressed feeling she tried to hide.
—Please go away.
Paaah!
When Kang Min-hee waved her hand, a powerful repulsive force struck.
I approached without paying it heed.
She poured attacks toward me.
I approached while taking hits.
And when I stood right in front of her, leaving only three zhangs,
Paaaah!
The thorns that extended from her body pierced my chest.
Pook!
While layered over the realm of the soul, these thorns filled with death qi pierced through my chest, pierced my back, tore my domain, and left a massive scar.
—Don’t come!
And then, I simply kept walking.
Step… step…
Even with a thorn embedded in my chest, even if the thorn was driven deeper,
Even if she pushed me away, even if it hurt more,
Finally, standing in front of her, I knelt and tightly embraced Kang Min-hee.
Paaaaah!
I, who had reached the realm of the soul, used Uihye Eunsan solely by will to blow warmth into her heart.
She briefly regained consciousness and wept.
“What are you doing… you fool.”
Instead of answering, I embraced her even more tightly.
If there is someone who bears the suffering and grudges of all living beings in the world, who will bear the suffering and grudges of that person?
“Kang Min-hee.”
The meaning of Sitting Liberation and Standing Death was not simply that one became stronger by any means.
“Stay still.”
“…Don’t do that, Seo Eun-hyun.”
It meant the courage to cast aside one’s life or something more precious than life in search of one’s path.
If I had already found my path, Sitting Liberation and Standing Death was something I could throw everything into realizing.
The suffering of one who bears the suffering of all would be borne by another connection that person had formed.
My path was connections.
‘Sorry… everyone.’
I felt it.
Since the heart demon had been expelled, the entity that had been trying to occupy my body through the heart demon had begun to clearly show attraction and move toward me.
The remnants of the heart demon had formed an attraction between that entity and me.
Most likely, it was someone who governed the Hyeol-eum Realm.
Otherwise, I, along with Kang Min-hee and our companions, would be swept away.
To prevent a repeat of the incident where the master of Taesan was at stake.
And… to protect Kang Min-hee’s suffering, even in this life…
I activated the Myeonsingeobcheon that would change fate.
Offering myself as the sacrifice, the clouds around me darkened.
The black clouds enveloped us,
And with a smile on my face, I whispered to her,
“Descend.”
The next instant.
“All-Heaven.”
Puu-k!
The All-Heaven Sword I had thrown into the sky pierced through the ghosts, the barriers, the domains of Kang Min-hee, and the black clouds of the Myeonsingeobcheon, falling from the sky toward me and her.
Beyond Sitting Liberation and Standing Death, Jang Ik’s first strike, reaching the realm he called the Integration Grand Completion, became a pillar of light that simultaneously pierced us both.
I embraced her as I fell, and my sword, together with the All-Heaven Sword, severed the connection felt deep in the Underworld from inside her soul and spirit, filling her void.
Even in the midst of pain, I laughed.
She had said life was soon sadness,
But what did a person live for?
People lived to obtain the Dao in the morning.
What Dao could a person obtain?
The name of that Dao was connections.
Even if life was soon sadness, as long as there were connections, it would not be sad.
That was my twenty-first regression.