The Weight of Regret
Three months had passed.
I stood among my disciples, each one meticulously sharpening their weapons in the black robes we had donned.
“Everyone… are you ready?” I asked, my voice steady.
“YES!!!” came the thunderous reply.
Three months earlier, in the briefing on the Yeon Kingdom’s invasion plan, the mere mention of sparing the Emperor had sent them into a frenzy of excitement.
Only afterward, when it became clear we would strike the other territories of the Makri family instead, had they somehow regained their senses. But it had nearly been a disaster.
‘They’re all carrying such complex feelings.’
The Emperor they had longed to kill was now untouchable. Yet they could still slay the monsters of the other realms.
They had finally reached the threshold of the vengeance they had dreamed of, yet their expressions remained strangely mixed—anger and expectation intertwined in a way I could not even read.
‘It is not simple hatred, nor raw fury, nor simple hope. A strange blend of every emotion at once.’
‘How can I understand something so vast? No matter how many colors I discern, I may never grasp every hue of the human heart.’
How many emotions does a single human truly possess? Who could possibly define them? They cannot be expressed in words. That is why we cannot fully fence them in, nor can we ever know them completely.
‘…Then what exactly is the realm of Ogijowon?’
It did not seem to be merely the comprehension of every color. Any god that was not something more would make such a thing impossible. Yet the moment I had seen Kim Young-hoon reach that peak…
‘Within him, infinite colors had poured forth—colors no mind could ever fully grasp—and filled his very existence.’
His very awareness had been built from those infinite hues. So why, even now, did I feel that it was impossible for me to truly understand the full spectrum of human emotion?
‘…I do not know.’
It was strange. The infinite could never be reached. If it were possible, Kim Young-hoon would not have been held back by the great masters, but would have swept past even the level of Core Formation and beyond. What I had witnessed that day was the infinite itself.
“…I still do not understand.”
It was something that could only be grasped through personal experience. Even if Kim Young-hoon explained every detail, my talent alone would never suffice.
‘Then perhaps, instead of chasing what cannot be known, I should simply focus on what I can still do.’
Once I confirmed that all my disciples were ready, I distributed the special poisons and antidotes I had crafted. They tucked the vials into their sleeves or pockets, and I checked each one before shouting, “Today we go to kill the great masters!”
My words brought firm resolve to every face. Yet I had not wanted that resolve.
“Everyone, do not think of dying lightly. Do not even consider dying alongside the great masters!” I added sharply.
A flicker of irritation crossed the faces of those who had been resolute. The only thing that could provoke them further was talk of dying together. I could not justify the greater purpose of living.
‘Then I must forge a reason for them to keep fighting.’
“You may feel some reluctance about striking only the lower great masters of the Makri family rather than the Emperor himself. But I swear this: if you succeed in destroying every territory and stronghold belonging to the Makri family, I will trust your strength completely. I will also swear to lead you in the assault on the Imperial Palace! I will help you take the Emperor Makri Jeong’s life! In exchange, you must never die easily. Live as fiercely as you can until then, so that the training you have endured is not wasted! I command it!!!” I roared with a lion’s roar.
“Live on!”
My firm order of survival kindled not mere resolve but a cold determination in their eyes, burning with fury toward Makri Jeong.
“Yes!” they answered.
I heard their voices, donned my night clothes, and led the way. Five hundred of my disciples followed silently behind me, each casting the Wansuigungmurok.
We left the territory of the Jin family, heading toward the northwestern hills before the Chonbyeok fortress. It was there that the Makri family’s hidden territory lay.
‘…More than in my previous life.’ I thought, gazing at the great masters Kim Young-hoon had gathered and the five hundred peak warriors who had followed me. My disciples had reached the peak realm through forced training, but their strength was far superior to the peak cultivators of the past.
‘There will probably be no true great masters here.’ Most great master families stationed only the lowest Qi Condensation first- to fifth-stage cultivators in the outlying territories. They might send one or two early Core Formation or late Foundation Establishment masters to manage them. Most of their strength remained hidden in the main families. The territory we were about to enter was nothing more than a low-tier alchemy hall ruled by a few dirty Qi Condensation cultivators.
‘But in my previous life there were no disciples like you.’ This time, hundreds of formidable powers had been added. We should have crushed them without difficulty. Yet I could not shake the worry. I lowered my voice and spoke to my disciples.
“Everyone, once we enter the Makri territory, you will witness horrors. But no matter what you see, keep your calm. Our priority is not to rage in fury, but to kill every great master we can and, if possible, save the ordinary people.”
My words drew small nods from the disciples. A short while later, a Foundation Establishment cultivator from the Jin family stepped forward and cast a spell. “Open!” A brilliant light erupted. The surrounding landscape warped, and a path opened toward the Makri territory.
We followed the great masters through the portal into the Makri realm. Familiar sights greeted me: a vast village enclosed by a massive formation, and the Makri great masters already hurrying to sound the alarm.
‘Now the real battle begins.’
Boom— A low hum filled the air. Once again, Kim Young-hoon led the vanguard. The genius who had reached perfection in an instant displayed the same divine techniques as in my previous life. Astral Qi Compression Orb! A torrent of sound like crushing mountains shook the ground. I could finally see the wonder I had missed before—the compression of countless will threads into a sphere. I saw only the sight, not the method. I still could not grasp how he separated his will from the sphere and made it spin within. I watched anyway, eyes nearly popping out. And then… Kugugugug— Kim Young-hoon’s orb slammed into the Makri formation. The barrier shattered, creating a huge breach. The great masters, Kim Young-hoon, and the thirteen three-flowers-gathering cultivators led the way through the hole. “Let’s go.” I led my disciples through as well. “Intruders! Kill them!” “These vermin—how dare they—” Boom! One great master who had opened his mouth was instantly smashed by Gye-hwa’s blade. She drew her sword and danced through the defenders with blinding speed. Boom! Man-ho swung his greatsword, shattering their defensive spells. Nok-hyeon wrapped his steel rod around a summoned skeleton and hurled it. Unlike before, the Makri village began to burn at an overwhelming speed. Kugugug— Just as I was about to finish a third-stage great master, one of their houses collapsed, flooding the ground with blood and corpses. Cheongya had used her hidden blade. She grabbed the unconscious great master’s neck, lifted him, and slammed him into the ground. Kugugug— The impact tore his torso apart. She stood amid the corpses, tears streaming silently down her face. “Sister…” She had once told me her family had been dragged away without dying in front of her. I knew exactly what she was thinking now—the rage in her eyes made her veins burst, blood tears falling. ‘Snap out of it. This is the battlefield. Killing Makri great masters is irrelevant to winning the battle.’ I sent a transmission straight into her mind. She paused, glanced at me, then turned to hunt the others. “…I’m sorry,” I said. What I could offer was only this much. “You filthy vermin! How dare a mere—” I drew my sword and faced the third-stage great master charging at me. “Mere what?” Flash! My blade severed the spell threads he fired, slicing toward his neck. The defensive formation reacted, but I focused my mind and Sword Gang erupted from my sword. Crack! My blade sliced through the formation like glass and severed his head. “Even a third-stage cultivator like you…” Peak early to middle stage could still be handled by first- or second-stage, but once I reached three-flowers-gathering, every flaw vanished as I perceived the will threads in detail and could wield Sword Gang. A normal three-flowers-gathering cultivator commanded the strength to face third- to sixth-stage great masters. Thanks to years of experience, I had already passed that realm and was moving far beyond it. The Wansuigungmurok also let me escape any natural advantage the great masters might hold. Now only fifth- to eighth-stage great masters could match me. “…It’s almost over.” I walked past the great master’s corpse and surveyed the blazing territory. “I hope all of you are safe…” The duels among the Foundation Establishment great masters had already been decided by Kim Young-hoon’s intervention. We had won. * * * “Everyone survived.” I told my disciples briefly. “…Well done.” ‘And thank you.’ Thank you for surviving. “Then let us search every great master’s house and recover the corpses of the innocent who were cruelly massacred. Let us bury them.” My words drew silent obedience. They dug graves and covered the bodies. Under Kim Young-hoon’s guidance, we offered short rites at countless tombs. ‘Please, rest in peace.’ I prayed briefly for their souls, then looked at my disciples. After witnessing the Makri great masters’ atrocities, their will had hardened. “Everyone… how are you feeling?” “…” No one answered. Yet I read their will and understood. Or rather, I could not. Their emitted will was hopelessly tangled, incomprehensible. But one thing was clear: a rage like fresh blood. Not a single disciple lacked the will of fury. “You all feel the same. But remember this: your goal is not to kill the great masters. Your goal is to finish your revenge!” “…What’s the difference?” Ki-jeong asked. I met each of their eyes. “You will know later. Now move. Follow me.” What difference? I laughed bitterly inside. ‘You still don’t understand.’ They did not want to know. The hardest thing to teach someone who does not wish to learn is to teach them at all. I had no choice but to show them slowly. We raced toward the next Makri territory. * * * Six months had passed. We had burned thirteen of the Makri family’s territories, recovered the corpses of over 156,000 monsters, and buried them. With every passing day, the blood-red will in my disciples’ eyes grew denser. Every sight of the Makri great masters’ cruelty only fanned the flames of their fury. “These filthy vermin! These lowlife trash!!” Boom! Boom, boom! A third-stage great master struggled against our combined formation, scattering spells wildly. Yet in an instant… Kugugug— Hea charged in with a small scythe and swung at the great master’s head. Kaaang! The Qi infused in the blade pierced his defensive formation. The great master gritted his teeth, forcing power into the spell, but exhaustion from facing the formation made the glow of his defenses fade. “I… I cannot die like this! How… how could I…!” And then… Schwack! Nok-hyeon and Hea’s combined attack shattered the barrier, severing the great master’s head. Even in death his eyes remained wide with disbelief. ‘The other side is finally preparing.’ I cleared the battlefield and checked on my disciples’ safety. ‘At first we faced mostly first- and second-stage great masters. Now third- and fourth-stage cultivators are waiting in every corner. The Makri family is preparing… This is not good.’ Qi Condensation great masters, no matter how weak at the bottom of the great master world, still held power far beyond mortal martial artists. ‘Even a one-stage difference changes everything.’ The number and range of usable spells widened, the consciousness area expanded, and attack power soared. ‘If these kinds of cultivators keep appearing, it could become dangerous…’ Of course, seventh-stage and above were all three-flowers-gathering masters, and ninth-stage or higher had been dealt with by Kim Young-hoon. Yet with each territory we seized, I sensed their defenses growing stronger. ‘Even using the Jin family’s intelligence network to raid the weakest territories…’ If we kept striking, we would eventually be hurt badly. ‘What is even more terrifying is that the Jin family and Makri family are still not in full-scale war.’ According to the Jin family, this level of clash was called “shadow battle.” Hundreds of territories burned and dozens of great masters slain, yet they called it shadow battle? I had thought the same. But I learned that high-ranking great masters of the great master families did not consider the lives of their lowest Qi Condensation cultivators to be vastly different from those of the monsters. The reinforcements sent to us during the Makri assault were, in the family’s eyes, little more than insects. ‘Great masters above the peak are all Qi Condensation, but they are still either martial artists or monsters. And although the Jin family’s Foundation Establishment great masters fight alongside us… When they weaken the Makri Foundation Establishment great masters, Kim Young-hoon always delivers the finishing blow.’ Until now, it had been treated as “the monsters’ fight,” and full-scale war had not occurred. The lower territories of the Makri family were too weak, so the upper family merely clicked their tongues and ignored them. ‘…But if real full-scale war erupts…’ I finished slaughtering the Makri great masters and watched my disciples recover the bodies of the innocent. The moment of burial was the only time the blood-red will in their eyes softened. ‘Three-flowers-gathering and below will flee in panic. And my disciples…’ If lucky, ten to thirty might survive. If unlucky, they would be wiped out. * * * After the assault on the Makri territories ended, I led my disciples in recovering the corpses, building new graves, and offering rites under Kim Young-hoon’s guidance. Uwoong— A faint light gathered around the tombs, gently cleansing the lingering grudges and resentment. For the past several months Kim Young-hoon had begun studying great master spells. He had not hit any wall or despaired. He simply said he was learning them so he could recite the rites and master the spirit-cleansing techniques for the dead. The low-level spells radiating from him made the remaining restless souls slowly ascend into the light. Souls were invisible to mortal eyes. Those who had reached three-flowers-gathering could glimpse their flowing will. After receiving the heavenly passage technique, the souls briefly drifted in light forms around the tombs before dissolving into nothingness. We offered our prayers to the departed. I watched the sight for a moment, then spoke to my disciples. “We have destroyed several Makri territories. We have slaughtered their great masters endlessly. We have recovered and buried the corpses of those they massacred and sent their restless souls to the light.” I looked carefully at the children. “Is this enough now?” My words caused their expressions to waver. “Enough for what, Master?” Cheongya asked in a rough voice. “There are still countless filthy monsters left. No matter how many we kill, their anger never subsides. Even after killing them, when we reach the next territory, the corpses of the innocent pour out…” “What exactly do you mean by ‘enough,’ Master?!” I looked at her with pity. “…Do you truly believe that the rage in your heart belongs only to you?” “What… what do you mean?” “Do you all truly think it is normal to feel such sharp, clear rage over events from several years ago?” I met their eyes. I read their will. It was not theirs alone. Through their wills, a foreign, turbid will seeped out. Wills heavy with the rage of relatives and blood kin. The Jin family had absorbed those vengeful spirits among my disciples’ relatives and forced them to awaken their talents. Their lifespans were short enough already, but if we could send the vengeful spirits onward, they would at least live a little longer. “…Master is speaking of the families we fight alongside.” Man-ho stepped forward. “Correct. No matter how many Makri monsters we cut down, that boiling rage will not subside. It must belong to our families’ rage as well. Not just ours. But because of that!” Man-ho’s expression was firm. “We cannot end our revenge simply by quenching our own anger! We must all resolve the grudges of our families together! Since the grudges are not ours alone, we must resolve the grudges of everyone!” I turned my gaze toward the graves we had built. “Did you all see that light just now?” “…Yes.” “The light you saw is the souls of the victims. The victims may have died in agony, but the moment they ascended, they scattered with the light.” I looked again at Man-ho and the others, at the turbid wills hidden in their chests. “I will not order you to stop. But do you not think that since we have achieved a certain amount of revenge, we should send the dead on their way? Do you not think the dead should be released to wherever they are meant to go?” Man-ho’s face hesitated for a moment. Yet he gritted his teeth and said, “…You do not understand our pain. You cannot know how much comfort it is to us to be able to seek revenge while still with our dead families.” “…The more you cling to your families, the more your families and you yourselves will gain no good results! Your lifespans will continue to shorten, and your families will be forced to live as vengeful spirits forever!” “…Master only wants to save us.” A color I could not explain filled his eyes. “We do not mind dying! For the rest of our lives we will fight and kill the Makri monsters. When our time comes, we can die and join our families in the afterlife without regret!” “….” “….” For a moment Man-ho and I looked at each other. “…Fine. It is done.” I sighed softly. “We will speak of this again later.” We avoided discussing it further that day. * * * Months passed. We continued to raid the Makri territories. Countless Makri great masters were slaughtered, and the strength of the great masters we faced grew steadily higher. The realms of the Qi Condensation great masters we had once faced—first to third stage—gradually rose to second to fifth stage. ‘Damn it, they are strong!’ I fought a seventh-stage great master and ground my teeth. “Your eyes are good. Not like a mere mortal. Your insight is quite sharp. If mortals hone their insight, they too can break through like us? If you make golems from your corpses, will they be the same as great master corpses or different?” I faced a great master controlling dozens of golems and spat Sword Gang like a waterfall. ‘These vermin are everywhere. My disciples are in danger!’ Danak Sword Art. Power to Move Mountains! Kugugug— My Sword Gang pierced the terrain and shattered the golems’ formations. Danmak Sword Art. Mountain Wind! Pinging! My Sword Gang raced through the golems at the speed of light and struck the great master. Kaaang! “Hmph… leaving a mark on my defensive formation. Impressive…” Danak Sword Art. Qi Mountain Heaven! Woong! I opened my meridians and strengthened my Sword Gang, slashing diagonally. Kugugug— The massive Sword Gang split through the cracked formation and sliced the great master’s body in half. “Wh-what… I… I am a mortal…” Kkwajak! I severed his upper body completely, then turned to survey the surroundings. ‘Damn it, damn it!’ There were too many powerful cultivators. ‘Please stay alive, Daeo!’ The sword cleaved through flames as it targeted a fourth-stage great master who had received the combined formation. The great master was casting wind spells; my disciples were barely holding them back. I cut through the wind threads, approached using Wansuigungmurok, and swung my sword. Flash! Sword Gang surged, and the great master’s head rolled across the ground. Yet as the wind cleared, I saw several disciples bleeding. “…You…” Grind— I clenched my teeth and approached. I had already stopped the bleeding with basic first aid, but I knew they were dying. ‘They will die.’ There was no way to save them. The blood loss was already too great. Some had twisted meridians or ruptured organs. “…Idiots.” I checked the face of the last remaining disciple and ground my teeth. Nok-hyeon, who had a record of escaping the training ground on his own. “I told you… my revenge would be enough…” “H-h… I am… satisfied… Finally… finally… I can… be with… with my family…” Life force drained from the disciple’s body. His body grew colder. “The people left here are not your family.” Grind— I clenched my teeth. His throat tightened. Their eyes, even as they died, remained peaceful. The dead disciples looked at me with a faint, grateful smile. “Thank you… so much. Master…” “Thanks to you… I was able to… reach here…” My vision blurred. But if my emotions changed further, it would only make things worse. This was still the battlefield. I gritted my teeth until they cracked and whispered to the disciples slowly, “…Live.” My words widened their eyes. “…Are you… all right?” “We have not yet completely resolved our grudges…” I looked at the disciples, gave a small nod, and stood up. “…I pressed the Sleep Blood Point. They should fall asleep soon. I will go now. I still have to find a way for the others.” Leaving seven dying disciples behind, I gripped my sword. “Nok-hyeon, Hea, Cheong-ju, Jang Sam-so, Gu Oh-oh, Seomun Rim, Geum Ran… all of you, sleep well.” I bit my lip and rushed forward to slaughter the great masters and rescue my disciples. * * * This battle was fierce. Thirty-four of my disciples fell. “Nok-hyeon, Hea, Cheong-ju, Jang Sam-so, Gu Oh-oh, Seomun Rim, Geum Ran, Gae Jin, Gu Sam, Il Mae, Seo Jin, Gi Jin-tae, Bae Gi-tae, Heo Jin-su, Sang-hyeon, San-ho, Geum-jjok-ji, Dae-a, Chil-deok, Pal-oh, Pal-yuk brothers, I-ryeong, Geum-sam, Gyeon-hun, Dae-sik, Gil-su, Han-su, Mong-jin, Ju-han, Ju-gyeom, Geom-oh, Jang-chil, Hong-hwa, Man-suk…” I recited their names and built graves for their bodies. “I am sorry… all of you.” After burying my disciples, I looked at the remaining ones. “Listen well. The resistance of the Makri great masters is growing fiercer. Even with our combined formation, we will face overwhelming numbers of late-stage Qi Condensation cultivators who will counterattack. Therefore, as your martial arts master, I decree—” My vision blurred. As a master I had to show a good face, yet I kept showing an ugly one, making me ashamed. “From now on, you will not fight alongside me in the next assault. Begin training again at the training ground.” “…What do you mean? Do you not know our feelings?! We are…” My disciples protested with bloodshot eyes, but I cut them off coldly. “I am sorry, but this is not a request or suggestion. It is a command as your master.” Schlunk— I drew my sword from its sheath. “If you wish to defy my will, try to defy mine. Until you cut me down, you cannot seek revenge anymore!” I no longer intended to hold back. Hundreds of wills glared at me, yet I observed millions of wills and calculated the optimal path my disciples could never imagine. “I will make sure you do not die… No, you cannot die anymore…”