All Mine Tonight
"Do you understand?"
His voice drifted faintly through the door—he was still on the phone.
I'd been aching to see him ever since I left the hospital. All I wanted was to walk into that room and bury myself in his arms. The feeling filled me to bursting, but I held it back, barely. I couldn't interrupt him while he was working. He'd hate that.
So I swallowed the urge to grab the doorknob and barge straight in, and leaned against the door instead, waiting for the call to end. A soft light glowed beside it.
And yet that raised voice, that firm tone someone else would surely find unpleasant—why did it sound to me like a distinctive melody from a music box? A melody that, just by hearing it, filled you with trust. With the feeling that you could rely on him completely.
Ah...
I wanted to hear that melody speak kind words to me. Warm words that would heat up my chest. Loving sentences.
"What are you doing?"
"Ah! Hello, unnie."
"I heard you got hurt. How's your body? You okay?"
"Yes. I'm perfectly fine."
It was Ayoung-unnie, who had appeared beside me before I knew it, looking as she always did—so perfectly at home in a tailored suit that it might as well have been the emblem of a career woman itself. Her worried questions almost made me feel guilty. I really was fine. The test results had come back clear. The doctor had said so too. I hadn't even been hurt that badly to begin with; if anything, he'd practically forced me to go to the hospital.
Honestly...
How was I supposed to refuse when he looked at me like that and told me to go? How was anyone supposed to hold out against that?
"Yeah? That's a relief. But what are you doing here?"
"Ah! I'm waiting for honey's call to finish."
"...He's still on it? That's longer than usual."
Right? Unnie. I'd already been waiting ten whole minutes. When was he going to hang up?
"What brings you here, unnie?"
"Hm? I was going to get a head start on the report I have to give tomorrow morning... why?"
"Can't that wait until tomorrow morning?"
"Huh? I mean, it could... why?"
"Today I just... I wanted to, you know."
Tonight, I truly did not want anyone interrupting us. I wanted him all to myself.
If he heard me saying this, he'd probably ask why I was being greedy for once—me, who never asked for anything. But he had no idea how I'd managed to fall asleep at the hospital last night. How much I'd been looking forward to this week. And I had the special medicine I'd begged and pleaded the doctor for, my trump card, tucked away and ready.
So tonight, I wanted to be greedy. I had to be.
"Please, unnie."
"Alright... see you tomorrow."
"Yes! Get home safely."
Fortunately, Ayoung-unnie had always been quick to read a room. She understood exactly what I meant, picked her document bag back up, and left.
She really was a pretty unnie, and a kind one too. That was why I wanted to get closer to her... but it felt like she was putting up a wall. Why would she do that? Had I done something wrong? I didn't think so. I'd been nothing but nice to her from the day she first started coming around. I ran back through every moment from our first meeting until now, and I still couldn't figure it out.
I was turning it over in my head when his voice reached me again and scattered every other thought.
That lovely voice. Mmm... so good.
Alright. Tonight, I would be the one to say I love you first.
I'd been standing there with my eyes closed, lost in that thought, which was why I didn't notice someone approaching until they spoke.
"What... are you doing?"
"Yes! Ah—I, I'm waiting for honey's call to finish. Um, un... nie, who are you?"
"I'm Lee Yeeun. I recently arrived from Korea to handle his close protection and security."
Ah! So this was the person he'd told me about last time. He'd definitely warned me to be careful of her, in so many words... but she gave off such a kind impression. Why had he said that?
She was pretty, too, though. I bet she'd be gorgeous if she grew her hair out.
Still—why were so many people looking for him tonight?
"Oh, is that so? Thank you. I'm Song Hanna."
"Understood."
"What brings you by at this hour, though?"
"I came to speak with Park Seonghun about a security matter... is he occupied with something else?"
"Yes. He's on a call, so I've been waiting too."
"...I see."
"Unnie, is it... is it something very urgent?"
"It could wait until tomorrow morning... why do you ask?"
Thank goodness. This unnie was the same as Ayoung-unnie.
"Well... this evening is rather urgent for me, you see."
"Unless it's something truly pressing... I'd like to ask for your understanding, unnie."
"Yes... well. Understood. I'll come back in the morning."
With that, Yeeun-unnie turned and left—black suit, hair tied back, looking every bit the bodyguard she was.
Hah...
Monopolizing even a single night of his was proving to be genuinely difficult. But I had yielded plenty of times before. I had bitten my tongue and held back. I had even let last night—that precious, irreplaceable time—go drifting off into empty air.
Not tonight. Tonight was off-limits. No matter what.
He was mine. I wouldn't give him to anyone.
I hung up after talking with Auntie Nayoung for a long while about how to crush the feminists and remake the country.
Ah... I was exhausted. How much had I even talked? The fatigue hit so hard that a brief wave of dizziness rolled through me.
Fuck. I never did go out to meet Hanna. She'd said she was fine, but I'd promised I'd definitely come down when the time came.
A small knot of guilt sat in my chest alongside the tiredness. I raked my hair back from my forehead.
Knock, knock, knock.
Who was it? At this hour, the list of people who might show up was... too long to even guess.
Let me get some sleep, will you? Come on.
I didn't answer. I just sat there. Then the electronic chime of the door unlocking sounded, and I stood up from the chair at once.
What. Don't bother knocking—just come in. You'll hurt your hand.
"Welcome back."
"I'm home, honey."
A warm smile. A presence so lovely it made the air around her feel softer. The woman I had brought with me to Japan. She didn't look like she'd come straight from the hospital, either—there was a freshly washed, downy softness about her.
Still carrying that apology for not going down to meet her, I walked to the entrance, closed the distance as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and pulled her into a firm embrace. I hadn't seen her all day.
Her body temperature was a little higher than usual. Lavender.
"You washed up first, huh? You could've just come straight here."
"Huh? How did you know?"
"I just did. It's obvious."
Anyone wrapping their arms around this small body as it tucked itself against their chest would have known. Not that I had any intention of letting just anyone do that.
"How's your body? Dinner? Did you eat properly?"
"That's too many questions at once. I'm fine. And yes, I ate well."
Thank god. Truly. Thanks to that British woman's insane stunt, there'd been a traffic accident—and Hanna hadn't been seriously hurt. That was the only thing that mattered.
"What about you? You didn't skip a meal just because I wasn't here, did you?"
"Nah. I ate properly too."
We'd pulled apart a little to look at each other's faces while we talked. I closed the distance again. The hold was tighter than usual, and I kept it longer than was probably comfortable, but Hanna took it without a word.
I held her like that until the entryway light timed out and went dark.
"I love you, honey."
"I love you too."
I'd fully intended to say it first. Then I saw her come back, and the words went clean out of my head. Ever since we'd come to Japan, I was pretty sure I'd always been the one to say it first.
I came back to myself somewhere in the middle of answering her, scooped her up, and carried her over to the sofa I'd been sitting on. Hanna looped both arms around my neck without a word and settled against me, and the trust in that gesture was... too good. Far too good.
The sofa was plush, and from it you could take in the stunning Tokyo nightscape and the whole of the luxurious room at a glance. I sat down with her still gathered in my arms and stayed like that for a while. She laced our fingers together and played with them a little, but that was all. I just wanted to sit inside this relief, this ease, a little longer.
"Well... shall we go to bed, then?"
"I want to lie down with you."
I didn't answer the small, brave voice she'd worked up the courage to use. I just picked her up the same way I had a moment ago and carried her to the bed.
The bed where I'd recently engaged in some meaningless fooling around had been restored to perfect order with the help of the hotel staff. Even so, bringing Hanna to it sent a faint twinge of guilt through me. Maybe it was because back at our place in Seoul, we'd always used separate rooms.
"...Hey. I was really looking forward to last night, you know."
"And I'm looking forward to tonight just as much."
"You knew... didn't you?"
We lay side by side on the king-size bed in the darkened room, holding each other's hands, looking into each other's eyes. Hanna's voice was small. The will behind it was not.
"...Yeah. I knew."
How could I not have known? This kind-hearted woman had worn the saddest face I'd ever seen on her after we'd finally talked about how we felt. And every time the news came through that someone had gotten pregnant, she would light up with more joy than anyone—then sink just as quickly into a quiet gloom.
So right now, Hanna sincerely wanted a child. The crystallization of the love between us.
Ah. Why were her eyes so bright when she said it? Why did her lips look so tempting? My hands, my mouth—the wicked parts of me—felt like they were about to stop holding back and cause some real trouble.
"Then... don't let me fall asleep tonight. All right?"
That didn't need an answer. Neither of us—not me, not Hanna—had any intention of letting the other drift off easily tonight. Not from the start.