Only You in That Place (5)
"Noona, what do you think of this illustration?"
"It's fine? But… yeah, no. I think it's okay."
The new illustrator we'd commissioned had sent over the artwork, and I showed it to her.
She said it was fine. Not a negative reaction, not glowing praise either—just a lukewarm, so-so response.
And I understood that reaction perfectly. I'd felt the exact same way.
There was nothing particularly rough or off about it, but nothing especially good either. It sat right on the line of adequacy… the kind of picture that simply checked the boxes.
Of course it did. This person had no particular affection for the game, and no real relationship with us either.
There was no reason for them to pour extra heart into it, or go through the trouble of refining the details that far.
Still, every point noona had emphasized had been reflected, so that was enough for me.
"Even so, Nari really did capture the atmosphere we wanted well, didn't she?"
Noona had started to say something, then swallowed it and settled for "it's fine"—probably because she was worried that bringing up Nari would sour my mood.
So I opened the door first, making it clear she could speak honestly. Better to leave an honest opinion on things like this. Not that we could change it now, but still.
"Yeah… compared to back then, it does feel a little lacking."
"Well, it can't be helped. It's the kind of tiny detail most people wouldn't even notice. It'll be fine."
"It's okay. I like it well enough."
"Yes. I'll work even harder on the game's details so you won't feel that lack!"
With that, I threw myself back into the work. Noona, with nothing left to do on her end, simply sat beside me and seemed to be working on an assignment.
It was around the same stage as the first submission last time—the period when I had to finish everything up. Only this time the window had come earlier… and stretched out longer for me.
I couldn't touch the cover or the illustrations any further, but the in-game characters and the animated sections were still well within my reach.
That was where I planned to add a little more detail.
And… I no longer really thought of them as rivals, but I'd still taken a quiet look at the upperclassmen's projects from our department.
They looked more like actual games than I'd expected. Which was probably why they'd passed the first round. Seemed like they were making a horror game—pretty much the default for people trying game development for the first time.
Because it looks easy.
Just create a single ghost object, stick some smart AI on it, and the big theme is done. The rest is just finding clues, solving things, working through gimmicks—or so they think.
In reality it isn't all that different. But the difference shows up right there.
Especially the parts that are easy to miss when a bunch of people who only ever code get together to make a game.
The details.
And those details cover so many things. Even just looking at effects. Effects are where the gap hits hardest.
When you take a hit… when you dodge… amateurs might implement the function in code alone, but a well-made game pays attention to the effects too. A red flash across the screen, or an image like glass shattering. The moment you dodge, a faint afterimage lingering around you. Those are the things that get overlooked so easily.
Then there's the in-game camera work and direction—especially during story scenes. Color grading and light sources. That last one needs extra care the darker the game is.
Yeah. Just listing those alone, the difference in polish is enormous. Catching that kind of detail is hard when it's only programmers working together. That's why you need planners, direction teams, art teams.
I already had experience in those areas… so if there was one place I could pull ahead of the beginners, it was this.
Completeness.
Heh heh heh… they'll be shocked. Seeing effects that look no different from commercial games.
"Minjae? Why are you suddenly… smiling like that?"
"Ah! Sorry. I got so focused I didn't even notice."
I must have been wearing an unpleasant grin without realizing it.
"Are you working on an assignment, noona?"
"Yeah."
"What kind of assignment?"
"Writing a short piece to turn in."
Right… Creative Writing major. Of course the homework would be something like that.
"Can I see it too?"
"No way!"
"Why? Why so firm about it…"
"It's embarrassing."
She said that while making a hurried show of hiding the writing she'd been working on. It was so unlike her usual self that I couldn't help smiling.
Even the blunt refusal had already felt uncharacteristic… and now she was doing something this cute on top of it.
"What are you laughing at."
"Nothing. Just… it's not like you. But you know that hiding it so desperately only makes me want to see it more, right?"
"Still no."
I was only teasing. Her reaction had been so adorable that I'd pushed a little harder than necessary.
Then I focused on the work again.
The actual programming would have to wait until I got home, so for now I was simply running through the completed sections of the game, noting where and what details to add.
More time slipped by like that, the room filled only with the sound of two keyboards clacking—until a sudden vibration cut through the quiet and warped the stillness.
Not mine. So it had to be noona's phone.
As expected, she pressed the phone to her ear and stepped out of the club room for a moment. I hadn't been listening on purpose… but as she took the call she clearly said a woman's name on her way out.
"Yeah, Yujin, just a sec—!" Something like that.
Just one of her friends, then.
Right now something else was tugging at my attention a little more… noona's laptop, left open and unattended again. And on the screen sat the writing she'd been working on the whole time.
If you were going to hide it that desperately… maybe pay a little more attention when you leave! Leave it this defenseless and of course someone's going to look!
So I let my gaze drift naturally toward the laptop screen. Of course I didn't brazenly grab the mouse and scroll down through the whole thing. I kept my body exactly where it was and simply shifted my eyes sideways to read.
A heavy gloom hangs over the face; unease is mixed into every movement. I do not believe the sun creates shadows. A shadow is born because of something standing in the path of the sunlight.
And I was certain that person, too, was wandering through a dark, damp shadow cast by someone who had blocked the sun.
At first I tried to take that person's hand and pull them out of the shadow. But they would not move easily. They seemed to want to leave the shadow, yet at the last moment they always stopped and turned back.
Is it fear? Is the bright, scorching sunlight frightening? Having lived so long hidden inside the dark shadow, is the sunlight that illuminates everything simply too terrifying?
I want to tell them. That the sunlight which reveals everything is cruel, and yet warm.
Then what if, instead of dragging that person out, I became the sun that shines on them from the other side?
With that thought I said to them, "You can just stay still. Leave everything to me."
At once the person rushed toward me. They seized my hand. They leaned into my arms. As if they were relying on me completely.
Even though I had not yet cast any light… that single sentence was enough for them to begin showing me a part of themselves.
If I walked through that person's darkness with the light I gave off, they would surely come to see me as their true sun.
They would look only at me. They would be saved by me.
With that thought I poured out every bit of light I had. Only toward that person.
But it met an ending different from the one I had imagined. The light I aimed solely at them was not warm—it was searingly hot, and it began to burn them.
The person in my arms did not try to escape the scorching light; they tried to endure it. In the end they became a pile of black ash.
I scooped the burned remains from the floor into my hands and held them against my chest. And I wept.
Never again…
The door opened again and noona came back in.
I carefully shifted my gaze back to my own computer screen. She probably hadn't noticed.
"Minjae, what time are you heading back today?"
"Mm… I could leave pretty soon if you want. Why?"
"Ah… I just made plans with a friend, so I think I need to go now."
"Really? Then should we just pack up and leave together?"
"Okay. If you're fine with that, let's."
Noona returned to her seat, closed her laptop, and slid it into her bag. In the middle of that she flinched slightly.
She must have been startled to see the file she'd been hiding sitting wide open on the screen.
I did my best to look like I hadn't noticed a thing while I gathered my own things.
The moment we stepped out of the building, rain was pouring down outside.
"It's raining…"
Noona stared at the downpour as if she were someone who hadn't brought an umbrella.
But I had one in my bag.
"They said it would rain this afternoon… and it really is."
"You knew, Minjae?"
"Yeah. Did you not know, noona?"
"No…"
"Then… do you have an umbrella…?"
"I don't…"
Given how the conversation was going, the natural next step was for me to hold the umbrella over her.
I pulled it from my bag and stepped casually to her side.
She closed the remaining distance with one more step of her own.
Like that we walked all the way to the main gate, sharing the small umbrella, our bodies half-hidden beneath it. Our shoulders brushed now and then; we matched our steps.
When we reached the gate I pressed the umbrella into her hand.
"You take it, noona. You still have to go meet someone. I can just head straight home…"
"Huh? No! There's a convenience store if we walk just a little farther…"
She said that and tried to give the umbrella back, but I stepped out from under it and started running the other way.
"Minjae?! You're going to get completely soaked!"
"It's fine—! See you tomorrow!!"
I practically forced the umbrella on her and took off in a hurry.
As the rain hit me I kept thinking about the short story I'd just read.
I mean… it sounded a lot like my story. Why would noona write something thinking of me, of all people—yet somehow it still felt that way.
Back when I was living trapped inside a dark shadow. That was when I met her.
And she had warmly taken me into her arms. Even the things she always said to me were the same lines that appeared in that story.
Then it really is about me.
Even as I thought that… there was one clear difference. The ending of that story.
What exactly had she meant by writing it that way? I hadn't turned into a pile of black ash yet.
I was so curious about the rest.
Of all times, she'd walked back in right when I was completely absorbed, and I'd missed the important part.
"Hey! Kwon Minjae!"
I was running full tilt through the rain when someone called my name.
And… the only person who would shout my full name like that was Nari.
I turned my head to check. There she stood at the corner of the path, umbrella in hand.
Ah… come to think of it, Nari and I headed the same direction for part of the way home.