Mirror (2)
"We're good now, right? I'm heading back, then."
"Yes..."
"Yeees—? If you use formal speech with me one more time, I'm just going to tell you to keep using it forever."
"Ah! Yeah. Let's get out of here."
And with that, we left the café. I had scored a real win today—and it wasn't just about bringing Nari back into my life.
Something about my relationships in general felt... lighter. Like I'd stumbled into a new, genuinely good connection, and it left me feeling better than I had in a long time.
It was a different kind of steadiness from what I got with Sebin noona. Quieter, maybe. But real. She had actually listened to my story and offered comfort, after all.
Nari said she needed to head back to the engineering building, so, riding the good mood, I offered to walk her part of the way.
Once we got close, she told me I didn't have to come any farther and started off alone. I watched her go. Then someone else appeared beside her path, walking toward us.
That was Seoa. Probably finished with class and moving to the next lecture hall.
Our eyes met again.
This time I didn't look away. I just grinned. Seoa's blank expression shifted the moment she saw my face—like she was glad to see me, almost ready to break into a run in my direction.
But I was smiling for a completely different reason.
I'd agonized over whether I should even do this. It felt so unlike me. Maybe it would just look like empty bravado.
Still, I gathered the courage and went for it. Something told me that if it was Nari, she'd catch my meaning and play along.
"Yu Nari—! Don't skip class, actually pay attention—! I'm going home to rest now—!"
My heart was hammering. The second the words left my mouth, regret flooded in. Why did I do that?
But then—
"You're dead, you know that? You show up to school every single day first—!"
Of course Nari read me perfectly and fired right back. She stopped mid-step, spun around, and shouted at me with the exact same volume.
I looked at Seoa again. Her face was full of a loss she could never put into words.
Yeah. That was enough for me.
Revenge... I'd told myself I'd never even thought about revenge, right?
And yet here I was, watching that expression on Seoa's face and feeling this sharp little thrill.
Maybe, more than anyone, I'd wanted to get back at her all along.
I wanted to show her that just like she'd smiled with some other guy while leaving me behind, I could smile with another girl while leaving her behind.
I just... wanted that, for some reason.
It was petty and childish, sure. But it was the only thing I could do. And it felt like the most straightforward, effective move available.
Yeah. Maybe I'd wanted revenge on Seoa more than anyone else in the world.
What kind of satisfaction I was trying to fill with that revenge, though... I still didn't know.
The next day.
Getting myself to campus turned out to be easier than I'd expected.
Maybe it was because I'd already faced Seoa's friends—the ones who'd started the rumors. I'd realized nothing catastrophic was actually going to happen.
And more than that, it felt like I finally had solid backup.
That morning, just in case, I texted Nari. The whole "come to school so we can walk together" thing from yesterday could have been empty encouragement. Maybe I'd swallowed it too eagerly and was making a big deal out of nothing. That little old-lady worry made me double-check.
Thankfully, Nari hadn't been bluffing.
Alright then. Time to go back to school.
Showing up for class again after everything felt a little ridiculous, but it hadn't actually been that long. Two weeks at most.
I'd missed a few assignments, sure, but if I started attending now... I could probably still scrape a C.
Not that grades mattered much to me anymore.
In the end, going to school wasn't about credits. It was about showing how I'd changed. Maybe even about locking in my resolve—proving to myself that I'd clawed my way out of that darkness and was standing again.
It had been a while.
Climbing the hill to campus without a single worry weighing me down.
"Hey—! I told you to buy coffee on the way, didn't I?"
"Huh...? Did you?"
"Haaah? You gonna check your texts or what?"
The second we met, Nari was already bursting with energy.
When did she ever say that... I thought, lifting my phone just enough to check. Sure enough, the message was sitting there.
Seriously—! Just because you text me, I'm supposed to obediently buy it and bring it? What am I, your delivery guy?
That small, secret rebellion flickered through me.
"Sh-should I go grab one now...?"
"Forget it. You've got class."
Maybe this was just our weird way of saying hello. We bantered lightly like that and started walking toward my lecture hall together.
Then someone passed us.
Seoa and her friends walked by first, heading into the classroom ahead of us.
Ironically, Seoa and I had the exact same schedule. Which meant the odds of running into each other on the way to class were naturally high—unless one of us was late, of course.
She must have seen me tangled up in that pointless conversation with Nari and simply walked past.
Honestly, I hadn't even registered Seoa and her friends until they were already going by, so none of this had been intentional on my part.
It just... happened to play out that way.
Following after Seoa and her group, Nari and I walked into the lecture hall together. She'd said she'd walk me all the way to class. So this was what "sticking together" meant.
We didn't share a single class, and it wasn't like we could suddenly start attending the same lectures now.
"After class today, come straight to the club room."
"Okay. What about you? Your class ends earlier than mine."
"I'll wait at the campus café. We'll go to the club room together."
By the time we finished that exchange, we'd arrived. Nari watched me step inside, gave a small wave, and headed off again.
Next time I should at least show up with coffee... I thought.
The classroom atmosphere after so long away was nothing like the nightmare I'd been dreading. No one seemed to care about me at all.
Yeah. The world really didn't give a damn about me as much as I'd feared.
I'd just been scaring myself for nothing.
I sat alone in an empty seat in the corner—far from Seoa, of course.
But Seoa glanced over, confirmed it was me, then stood up from her seat and came over to sit beside me.
"Ah... hey..."
She greeted me carefully, watching my face for any reaction.
I answered with a simple nod. For me, that was already pretty kind.
"Can I sit here?"
"Yeah."
She'd already started pulling the chair back when she asked, so I couldn't exactly refuse. I just told her to sit.
I wasn't some beast completely ruled by emotion, and I wasn't the type to stay furious all day long. I definitely wasn't a psychopath who spent every waking second plotting revenge against Seoa.
And I sure as hell wasn't the kind of thug who'd explode in a crowded public place.
Seeing her didn't make rage boil up anymore. I was fine now—just... not the way I used to be with her.
Of course, that was only true in this moment. If she pushed me the way she had last time, I could still lose it in a heartbeat.
But maybe having someone else to fill that space meant I really would be okay.
In other words... I no longer had any reason—or need—to hang everything on Seoa. I didn't have to stress over every little thing she did. Even without her, I'd already started building something new.
"Minjae, want to see my notes? You've missed a lot since you stopped coming to class."
"I'm fine. You don't have to."
"Ah... okay..."
An awkward silence settled between us.
Seoa kept trying to break it by talking to me, but every time I answered in short, clipped replies, the conversation died before it could go anywhere.
"What are you doing after class today? If you're free, we could hang out like old times..."
"I'm going to the club."
"Oh..."
...
"Can you unblock me on SNS now?"
"Mm... yeah. I'll unblock you."
"Yeah... wait, really?"
"Yeah. I don't really care either way."
Maybe it was because every answer until then had been so cold and short.
Even though she'd asked the question herself, Seoa clearly expected another icy rejection.
I'd given her a yes, and she still looked surprised.
The only reason I answered that one positively was because I genuinely didn't care. It wasn't some signal that we were healing. It was the opposite—I had no thoughts about "us" at all, so the yes came out easily.
In a way, it was closer to resignation.
Whether she understood that or not, Seoa just looked happy about the positive answer.
"But... how did you end up getting close to that unnie recently?"
"I don't know. It just kind of happened."
"I see. It's a little weird... seeing you get close to someone like that."
Someone like that—what was that supposed to mean?
She hadn't said anything outright bad, but the implication hung in the air, and it didn't feel kind.
Maybe she just hated the idea that someone other than her was filling the space next to me. Like she was trying to plant a bad impression on purpose.
I didn't ask. Nothing good would come from hearing the answer.
Somehow we ended up talking about ordinary things. It might have been the first time in a long while that we'd spoken without dumping our feelings all over each other.
Maybe that meant I was getting a little healthier, psychologically speaking.
"Alright! Everyone here is a first-year, correct?"
The professor stepped in between us, clearing his throat to start the lecture. Something about his tone suggested he had an announcement before class began.
"Well... it might be a bit much for first-years, but I figured I'd mention it just in case. There's a university game development contest coming up. Since our department is Computer Engineering, if any of you are interested in game development, it might be worth participating."
Ah... so that was it.
He was probably talking about the same contest our team was entering.
Aside from me, no one else in this room looked like they'd be joining.
"Anyone interested in participating...? For reference, it seems one team from our department is already entered."
One team already?
Was that us? We hadn't exactly announced it... If it was our team, how did the professor know?
Or was there another team besides ours?
Seoa heard that and immediately leaned in close, whispering without asking.
"You're good at making games. You're not entering something like that...? If you are..."
She asked. Of course she knew I was a developer. Probably the only person in this room who knew I had any real experience.
I only needed to hear half the question before I decided how to answer. I'd just brush it off vaguely.
I waited for my turn to speak.
But before Seoa even finished, before I could open my mouth, the professor's voice cut right across the moment.
"Let's see... Kwon Minjae? Are you here? It says first-year..."
"Yes?"
My name came out of the professor's mouth without warning.
I jumped and answered on pure reflex.