Thirst (2)
Holding something back is far harder than people think.
Being denied water when your throat is dry, or having something right in front of you and not being allowed to touch it—suppressing even a single simple urge is enough to make a person fray at the edges almost immediately.
The moment you are stopped from doing what you want, that thought only rises more often, more sharply.
The more deliberately you try to forget it, the clearer it becomes; the more you try not to notice, the deeper it digs in.
From today on, doing it yourself is forbidden.
The words Choi Deok-hun had tossed out so casually before I left after closing kept circling through my head.
They lingered with a strange weight, settling over every other thought I tried to have, rising again and again on top of them.
When I first heard them I had tried to brush them off as nothing. Just another demand, I told myself—nothing so different from the lines he had already drawn.
But the words that followed kept snagging on my nerves.
You won’t be able to finish alone anyway…
The way he said it, as if he already knew every inch of my condition.
And the fact that I had never once reached a proper climax on my own only stood out more sharply.
I’ll help you.
That promise stayed behind like an echo, growing clearer the harder I tried to cut the thought short.
Back home, alone, his words came through even more distinctly.
Even in an empty space, every little movement suddenly felt self-conscious. Moments I would normally have passed without a second thought now felt like something forbidden.
I reached out—then stopped.
It was nothing, just a small motion, yet in that brief instant my mind reacted first.
…He told me not to.
No one was watching, and still the words rose exactly as he had spoken them.
I slowly drew my hand back.
In the end I never managed to take care of it myself. I headed to the café still left in that half-finished, vaguely piled-up state.
My body felt neither lighter nor settled. Just caught somewhere and carried forward as I was.
The moment I opened the door, the first thing that caught my eye was Choi Deok-hun.
In that brief flash…
If only…
The thought slipped up unbidden.
If he’d just finish this state for me…
It rose so naturally it startled even me. I shook my head hard once.
“No.”
I cut it off short inside. This was clearly wrong.
I forced my mind back into place and headed for the counter.
I tried to move as usual, as if nothing were different, but the flow was already off from the start.
The hand that took the cup was subtly slower; every little motion demanded more attention.
“A-yeong.”
His voice from behind. I turned my head just slightly, pretending it was nothing.
“Come over here a second.”
Choi Deok-hun calling me toward a corner of the café. I already knew what would happen, yet my feet did not stop.
The moment I drew close, rough hands seized my body. Coarse fingers swept over my arms, my thighs, my ass.
With every pass, the desire swelled a little more.
Whenever a quiet gap opened, his summons followed as naturally as breathing.
“A second.”
“This, real quick.”
Short, casual phrases.
Each time I went inside without a word.
By the time closing approached and customers had thinned to a trickle, Choi Deok-hun sent me to the warehouse.
“A-yeong, go grab a few things from the warehouse for a minute.”
A little later he came in after me. The instant he stepped inside he began working over my body with relentless hands.
He traced every part of me, and I groped him in return.
He always wore a look of satisfaction. I did not.
Choi Deok-hun always kept that final line. But I…
“Nngh… I’m coming, A-yeong!”
A thick spurt—
His semen ran down my face. The raw, musky scent hit my nose and the desire surged beyond control.
…Not enough…
In that moment I found myself clutching the hem of his clothes without thinking.
“…I…”
The words would not come easily. He looked at me, puzzled.
“Hm? What is it?”
I hesitated a beat, then finally spoke with my eyes averted.
“…What you said before.”
I could not finish the sentence.
Choi Deok-hun watched me a moment, then slowly tilted his head.
“Now?”
I did not answer. Instead my grip tightened.
He gave a short laugh.
“I’d love to, of course…”
His hand drifted down toward me—then stopped.
“But carefully, just like you said. Without crossing the line.”
I stood there unable to say a word.
My body was already burning and showed no sign of cooling, yet it remained stuck short of the end, frozen exactly there.
My breath came short and ragged. Strength would not leave my fingertips.
…Why do I have to stop here…
The thought took shape for the first time.
Until now I had only followed.
Inside the lines he set, only as far as he allowed.
But now those lines themselves felt irritating.
Just a little farther and I could reach it—yet I was held exactly at that point.
I could not take a single step; I only stood there catching my breath.
Does this… even mean anything…
Keeping the line.
Who was keeping it, and why—those reasons blurred for the first time.
I lowered my head for no good reason.
I clenched and unclenched my hands, but my body would not settle easily.
“Clean up and come out.”
His voice already distant.
Only much later did I finally move. Even while straightening my clothes my hands kept stopping.
The state from moments ago had not fully broken; it lingered somewhere, unfinished.
The second I stepped out of the warehouse the outside air brushed me. Nothing changed.
Back at the counter, conversation reached me, laughter passed back and forth, yet I could not properly enter any of it.
Only my body was here.
…Not enough…
Clearer than before.
This time I did not bother denying the thought.
The next morning I opened my eyes and the unfinished state from yesterday was still right there.
It had not faded in the slightest. If anything it had grown sharper.
The moment I opened the café door, an air different from usual met me first.
Quiet. At this hour there should already have been a few customers, yet the inside was empty.
I stopped for a second.
“…Huh?”
Looking toward the counter, I saw Choi Deok-hun standing alone.
An unbothered face.
“You’re here.”
I glanced around once more.
“Where are the customers?”
“We’re opening an hour late today.”
He answered far too lightly.
The instant the words landed I understood the situation was off.
I stood there speechless, then slowly stepped inside.
The sound of the door closing rang especially loud.
Coming in behind the counter, the space felt narrower still.
The simple fact that no one else was here changed the entire atmosphere.
“Go ahead and get ready.”
He said it.
I nodded, yet I already had a vague sense of what kind of preparation he meant.
My hands moved, but nothing would settle into order.
A brief silence.
He closed the distance by a step, as if slipping into that gap.
I froze on reflex.
“Why so stiff?”
He asked low.
“…It’s nothing.”
A short answer.
I said it, but I already knew.
This one hour was not time that would simply pass.
I averted my eyes.
Even with my gaze turned away, I stayed aware of him.
“What are you hoping for?”
He laughed lightly.
I could not speak. A short silence stretched.
And the one who could not hold out any longer was me.
“Right now… there’s no one here.”
The words came out first.
So natural it surprised even me. Choi Deok-hun looked at me a moment.
“So?”
I kept my eyes averted and could not continue.
Instead I lightly caught the edge of his sleeve.
That was enough. Choi Deok-hun smiled.
“I really do like this proactive attitude of yours…”
The short sound of the café entrance locking rang out.
Before that sound even finished I was already moving after him.
The short distance to the warehouse. No hesitation in between.
Stepping inside, I saw the space already prepared.
A different arrangement than usual, traces of hands that had been there beforehand.
Choi Deok-hun tapped my shoulder, then stripped near the air mattress and set his clothes on a shelf.
“Just in case I got things ready, but…”
He said it lightly, then dropped his gaze as if checking my reaction.
“…Looks like we’ll actually use it.”
On the air mattress I devoted myself to serving him with care.
Yet every time I tried to move my own hands and touch myself, he never missed it.
“A-yeong, you don’t get to do it alone.”
“Where do you think you’re going by yourself? Focus on me.”
He cut it short.
Not simple restraint—words that redrew the line itself.
Each time, I stopped.
At first it had felt uncomfortable.
Now it felt natural, and I began to crave it more and more.
A not-short stretch of time passed; I leaned my back against the warehouse wall and tried to steady my breathing.
My breath would not settle easily.
I started to lift a hand, then paused a moment.
Marks still ran down between my breasts.
The thought that I should wipe them away came, yet my hand did not move at once.
Choi Deok-hun, face unbothered, held out a towel.
I took it without a word.
He did not linger. He turned briefly and walked straight out of the warehouse.
Only after the door closed was I left alone.
“…Hah…”
I let out a short breath.
The towel in my hand, and the hand that would not move.
On purpose…
The thought continued.
He stopped me from touching again…
I understood the intent now without needing it explained.
He will never let me finish alone.
I lowered my head.
This was no simple game.
Little by little… my own standards were changing.