Tutorial Time: Deflowering the Squeaker Maid
The tutorial's supposed to be hands-on, body-to-body contact. "Are you really going to use me?"
That's right, Flora. Your wording's just begging for misunderstandings. Of course it's you—I'm saying I'll test on you, aren't I?
"Yeah, I need your help."
"...Young master, I swear, if you embarrass yourself, don't come crying to me."
"It's fine. I'll handle it."
"If you fail, I go down with you!"
Flora pouts, her lips jutting out. Hah, fuck. Why's she gotta be so damn cute? Honestly, back before I transmigrated, a guy like me—a total nobody—wouldn't have even dreamed of talking to a girl like her. That youthful, adorable look. Eyes drooping like a puppy's, tiny chirping lips. But she's three whole years older than me. Even the protagonist Lucian has that shota vibe—no one'd mistake him for a full adult. Flora takes it to another level. Legal loli maid. That's her official character setup.
"Hoo..."
She lets out a short breath. We're standing in front of the Milking Parlor where the test will take place. The massive iron doors radiate an indescribable pressure. Even the motifs are no joke—golden milk bottles embroidered grandly, wrapped in the image of a holy cow.
So that's where all the characters from the game are gathered...
The Milkyway Family Estate. The continent's top livestock dynasty, a mega-conglomerate controlling seventy percent of the breast milk trade. The patriarch and his wife. Five daughters. And me, the youngest son. Only two men in the direct line: the patriarch and me. It's a hardcore matriarchy. And every last one of them? Massive tits. Their personalities... well. Ahem. First things first—let's head in.
Kiiiek—
With a heavy grinding sound, I push open the iron doors and step into the Milking Parlor. Thud—
The moment the doors close, the atmosphere hits heavier than expected. It's oppressively solemn, like the air's choking you.
...Huh? The game didn't feel this heavy. I remember the tutorial text having a pretty lighthearted vibe.
"Lucian."
"Yes, Patriarch."
The middle-aged man seated at the center of the platform. I'd seen his illustration in the game thousands of times, but in person? Yeah, he's intimidating as hell. Face covered in scars, build like a massive orc. No idea why a livestock guy has so many facial scars.
"You've finally come of age. I've waited so long for this day."
His stern voice echoes through the vast Milking Parlor. I swallow hard. Reality really is different from the game. Is this the weight of a true noble house?
"Daddy! Why're you killing the mood like that? You're scaring Lucian!"
"Yeah! All bark, no brains!"
...Isn't that a bit harsh? It is true he's all bark, though.
"Aww, wittle Lucian? Want sis's milkies?"
"...Sisters."
"Sisters? Lucian! Have you grown to hate 'big sis'?"
"Yeah, Lucian! You're an adult now—no need for all that formality!"
"Call us 'big sis' like always...!"
Ugh. Yeah. The women in this family—no, the whole family, patriarch included—they all adore Lucian.
"...Big sisters."
"Yay!"
"Want milkies?"
"No, enough with the milk already..."
Fuck. Lucian, you lucky bastard. With five sweet, big-titted sisters like these, why the hell did you hate the family? Why'd you run off, suffer from the ground up building your merchant empire? This guy's drowning in family favoritism. The patriarch looks scary but he's a total daddy's boy at heart; Mom treasures her baby boy. The sisters? Hopelessly smitten.
...Was it too much pressure?
Looking at my sisters circling me, thrusting their tits right in my face—yeah, it's a bit overwhelming. My whole field of vision's flesh-toned. Jiggle, squish, jiggle. It's messing with my head. Anyway. For a guy like me who only knew women from a screen, this is way too intense. I'm squeezing my eyes shut just to hold it together.
"Now, now! Enough of that!"
A high-pitched, authoritative voice rings out through the Milking Parlor. The family's real power: Hella Milkyway. Lucian's mom.
"You're making Lucian uncomfortable! Back to your seats, quick!"
"So mean..."
"Mother..."
The sisters slink back to their seats, heads hanging.
"...Want milk?"
"No, Eldest Sis, back to your seat."
"Hiiing..."
Why's that sister so desperate to breastfeed her grown-ass brother? Even in this milk-obsessed world, direct nursing an adult sibling is kinda creepy.
"Ahem. Lucian. Are you prepared?"
The patriarch clears his throat again, resuming his stern expression. Smack!
"Ow, hot! D-dear!"
"You're scaring Lucian! Why bust out that weird formal talk you never use?!"
"B-but in adult ceremonies, we always..."
"Then do it for the branch family kids too! Why crush our baby's spirit?!"
...What? Why are Mom and Dad suddenly bickering like newlyweds? I thought the game was lighthearted, but this is next-level. Then why start with the heavy atmosphere?
"Ahem... Lucian. Ready?"
"Yes, Patriarch."
"Patriarch...? Sniff, when did our baby boy grow up so much..."
Boris Milkyway suddenly wells up, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. When's this ceremony actually gonna start?
"Bring in the Milk Cows!"
Finally, the patriarch raises his hand dramatically. Just as scantily clad women start filing in from a side door—
"Wait, hold on!"
I throw up my hand urgently.
"...? Lucian? What's wrong?"
"I'm... really nervous, so... could I milk someone else instead? Not a Milk Cow."
"...Lucian. Adult trials use Milk Cows. That's Milkyway tradition. Even as our sole heir, you can't just—" Slap!
"Ow!! D-dear...!"
"No one follows that stuffy rule! You milked my tits for your ceremony!"
"Ah, uh...! D-dear! Not in front of the kids!"
...This family's a total mess.
"...So it's okay?"
"Ahem... Yes, Lucian. But no Certified Milk Cows."
"Of course."
Certified Milk Cows. Elite producers who squirt 100ml+ with a single squeeze. Late-game, you build your empire around them. Total cheats. Even nameless mob characters pump out massive loads. Post-alchemy buffs, some outdo the main heroines. But that's not my goal right now.
"Flora. Get ready."
"...Sigh. I really have no idea what's going on."
Flora, standing behind me, sighs deeply and steps forward.
Shhhrk.
She pulls down the top of her maid uniform. The skirt clings to her waist. Her small breasts come into view.
"L-Lucian? You don't mean another woman is..."
"Yes. I'll test with Flora."
"Lucian!!"
The patriarch and Mom scream in unison. Yeah... I get the freakout. Flora's infamous as a Squeaker from the early game.
Squeaker. Derogatory for low producers who only squeak out drops. Flora's output? Pathetic. Game stats: 30ml initial. Not even a third of the 100ml pass mark. Picking her is basically declaring failure.
But this is reality, not the game. And I'm a 10,000-hour vet. So...
"Flora. You need to strip completely."
"Neng?"
Flora blinks at me blankly. Yep. That cute face won't change a thing. You're getting naked here.
"Everything...? Even panties?"
"Yep. Panties too—all of it."
"...?"
DokiDoki BangBang Harem Alchemist—aka Dobangyeon—is packed with wild lore. Take breasts, for example. In this world, tits aren't sexy. Just milk factories, essential survival resources. So on hot summer days, women casually go top-free on the streets. Sure, it shifts the "sexy" to other spots, but players just called it "the dev's twisted fetish."
Pussies, though? Straight-up lewd, like real life. But toned down—like showing your armpit to a stranger. That level of shame.
"It's embarrassing..."
"Flora, help me this once. It has to be you."
"...Sigh. If you're begging like that, young master, I guess I have no choice."
Swish.
Flora sheds her maid skirt completely. Even her white cotton panties slide down to her ankles.
Ooh... a real naked girl...!
The sisters had their tops off shoving tits in my face earlier, so I'm kinda used to boobs. But pussy? First time. Smooth mound, neat straight slit. Hairless white pussy. Aside from porn, my first IRL. Top-tier stuff.
"There. All off."
"Good. Hold on."
I step behind Flora. Then yank my pants down without hesitation. Twang—
"...? What was that? Something poked my butt."
"That's my dick. Ignore it."
"...Huh? What'd you say?"
"Dick."
"...?"
The Milking Parlor's air turns ice-cold in an instant. Huh? Why's everyone staring like that? This is how it's done.
"Th-that's Lucian's dick..."
"Oh my, oh my...! Look at that beast!"
"When did he grow so big... sniff sniff..."
The sisters wail. Why? I'm a shota. Net said shotas don't get hard from nerves. Especially not with family watching. But me—no, Lucian's body...
Throb—
Whoa, fuck. Hard, it's massive. Double my old flaccid size. Mine was on the small side before. Suddenly packing this monster? Heh. Baseless confidence surging sky-high.
"U-um, young master? It's... rock-hard?"
"Yeah? Gotta be. Time to stick it in."
"Stick it where?"
"Flora. Where do you put a hard dick?"
"In the pussy, duh..."
"Smart girl."
"...Young master, have you lost your mind?"
No. I'm perfectly sane. Though... a bit off. Did possessing Lucian tweak my personality too? Lucian's unflappable. Mentally, anyway. His dick? Stands proud in crisis, despair—always.
"Flora. Manual milking gets you like 30ml, right?"
"...Yeah? But young master? I'm a virgin."
"I know."
"Whoa... and you're still putting your dick in my pussy?"
"You said you'd help."
"...You better take responsibility."
"Duh. You're stuck by my side forever."
"...Eut."
Flora's face turns tomato-red. ...Did I just set a flag? Anyway. Obvious choice. Flora's a keeper. Why? She's competent. Running a merchant group without her? Nightmare. Accounting? Flora mandatory. Dobangyeon 101. Skip her early affection? Tax bombs bankrupt you later.
"Flora... lucky... getting courted by Lucian like that..."
"I could stick to him forever too..."
"...Wanna breastfeed."
That last bit sounded weird, but whatever. Ceremony time. Patriarch and Mom gape in shock, speechless. Time to show 'em. Flora's true power. Her hidden piece: Non-Virgin Milk Explosion. Virgin loss + protag direct milking = 5000% output boost. 30ml to 1.5L. Insane easter egg. Needs protag deflowering.