Chapter 139: Comfort
Chapter 139: Comfort
#
A rough wooden bench stood in one corner of the yard.
Eun-ah and I sat beside each other.
"Mm... And then?"
"You know the accident when you were five? I was there too."
"Huh?"
Eun-ah’s eyes widened as though she had never known.
That expression made her look adorable.
By then, neither the gruesome scar covering half her face nor her altered eye bothered me.
I had begun telling Eun-ah about my childhood.
I finally unpacked memories I'd kept tightly sealed for fear that they could become weaknesses.
"Mister also... Keukeuk, all right. Big Brother also lost his parents in that accident."
"Ah..."
"Jin-su’s parents helped me arrange the funerals, and somehow I returned to school. Then came the day of an extremely important game. For some reason, I spent the entire game on the bench."
"Ah... I don't know much about baseball..."
"Simply put, the game carried the dream I'd pursued since childhood. Sitting on the bench meant I never got to play in that crucial game, all because of that bastard coach."
The baseball program at my high school was thoroughly corrupt.
I couldn't pay the coach and staff the bribes they demanded under the name of tournament fees, so they never gave me a single plate appearance.
They told everyone that injuries and lingering effects from the accident prevented me from playing.
I didn't know whether the era itself was responsible or merely those particular people.
My talent wasn't exceptional enough to overcome their corruption, and to them I was only an orphan who brought in no money.
"It's a common enough story."
"You must have been deeply hurt..."
"Yeah. What angered me even more was that my teammates destroyed my baseball bat."
I thought that was when it began.
The possessiveness that everyone carried...
Mine grew stronger, until I couldn't tolerate anyone touching my belongings.
"So I fought, received a warning, fought again, and was expelled from the team. I graduated high school without attending university, immediately applied for enlistment, and fled into the army. I felt as though I'd die if I stayed. At the time, I believed I was the most miserable and unfairly treated person in the world."
"Those bastards!"
"By doing that, I threw away the dream I'd built with my parents. I abandoned it with my own hands..."
Perhaps there had still been an extremely small chance that I could debut as a professional player.
At the time, though, I couldn't even bear to look toward a baseball field.
I knew my family’s finances had collapsed because of me.
While alive, my parents had paid those people bribes under countless pretexts.
In my immaturity, I resented not only the coaching staff but also my dead parents.
It felt as though all of them had denied my effort and ability.
Perhaps some childish sense of justice remained in me.
I refused to compromise with a corrupt reality.
Looking back, becoming a baseball player had never been my dream alone.
At nineteen or twenty, I had been unable to understand that.
"That's my greatest regret. Surviving such a severe accident without any permanent, untreatable injury was almost miraculous, as though my parents had protected me. Sometimes I wondered whether I should simply have handed those people the insurance money from my parents’ deaths. I can't count how often I regretted my choice."
"That must have been very difficult..."
"Anyway, I completed my service and then lived like a wreck—an unemployed bum—until Jin-su’s father came to find me. We had met often before that, but that day was different."
At some point during my lengthy story, Eun-ah had taken my hand tightly.
The story couldn't have been entertaining, yet she rested her small head on my shoulder, stroked the back of my hand, and listened intently.
"He told me to report to work. He arrived carrying a knife and said that if I refused again, he'd cut off his own little finger. He had made a promise to my father and felt he was failing to keep it."
"Yeah."
"At first, I thought he was bluffing. Then he really raised the knife and struck his own hand. Blood sprayed, I panicked and called 119, and everything became chaos. The woman who had come with him fainted, and Jin-su arrived later trembling. Do you know what the elder said while sitting in the hospital bed?"
"What did he say?"
"He said he still had another little finger. That was when I agreed to join the company."
"Keukeuk... Ah, I shouldn't laugh."
"Keukeuk. The funny part was that he didn't actually cut off the first finger. He only made a fairly deep gash. I learned that later."
That was how my life at the company began.
I didn't know how I had ended up revealing so much, but Eun-ah listened with complete concentration.
"It's not some uniquely tragic or unjust past... From your perspective, it probably sounds like the complaints of someone who never had to miss a meal."
"I don't think that."
The sun set while Eun-ah and I talked on the bench.
Darkness covered the world, and Eun-ah lit her lantern.
Her eyes reflected the soft glow as she met mine.
"As I grew older, I saw many people who had suffered more unfairly than I had. If only I'd handled things more wisely then..."
"..."
"I only complained, never understanding how fortunate I was. I realized far too late that many good people had stood beside me. Eun-ah, I'm embarrassed even telling you this."
"Thank you... For sharing something painful. I've envied many people too. But don't compare your pain with mine. Your story was truly difficult as well. I'm not good with words, so I don't know how to express it, but..."
Eun-ah was comforting me.
She raised a hand, stroked my cheek, and gently brushed beneath my eyes.
Her words weren't polished, but the comfort was unmistakably warm.
"Anyway, that was the kind of man he was. He was more than my friend’s father. He was my benefactor and the person who taught me how to function in society. Before he was my superior, he was my teacher and another father."
"He'd have been relieved that Big Brother reached this place safely. I think he'd have been grateful to you. So don't be sad. You did well, Big Brother."
"I'm truly all right. I prepared myself during the journey and expected this to some extent. It's not too difficult, so you don't need to worry."
"Something sad remains sad. Something painful remains painful."
I'd believed that I was accepting the situation calmly and preparing for what came next.
That I was simply doing what needed to be done.
That I had given them a proper farewell.
That I was fine.
Eun-ah’s fingers brushed beneath my eye.
Moisture clung to them, and only then did I...
realize that I was crying.
"Eun-ah."
"Huh?"
"You're surprisingly good with words."
"No, I'm not..."
"Keukeuk. Yeah, you are."
Embarrassed to cry before a twenty-year-old, I forced a laugh and tried to change the subject.
Eun-ah gently pulled my face toward her.
Only after burying my face against her chest could I cry freely.
Her embrace was extraordinarily warm.
#
After a while, unbearable embarrassment washed over me.
I'd been held and soothed by someone half my size.
I was grateful for the darkness concealing my eyes.
"Let's go inside. The nights are surprisingly chilly here."
"Okay."
I covered Hye-ji, who slept in the first-floor sitting room, with a blanket and quietly entered the master bedroom.
Eun-ah followed naturally.
"Will we sleep together?"
"Yeah."
"All right. Let's sleep."
The room had served as the master bedroom.
A large bed occupied one wall, surrounded by wooden furniture.
After preparing for sleep, we lay beneath the same blanket.
Eun-ah pulled one of my arms toward her and rested her small head upon it.
"Big Brother Tae-sik."
"Yeah?"
"I understand that feeling too—the feeling of being alone. My aunt was cruel, but when she died, I still felt... Strange."
"I see."
"Do you feel that way too?"
I sat up and relit the lantern.
After lowering the flame, I studied Eun-ah’s face.
Her expression remained blank.
"A little, perhaps. Why?"
"Since meeting Big Brother, I don't feel nearly as lonely. But am I... No help to you?"
"That's not true. I'm glad you're here, Eun-ah."
"That's not what I mean... Am I troublesome to you?"
"What are you talking about? Why would you be troublesome?"
Her expression changed little, but I had learned to read it somewhat.
She was anxious.
"What can I do to comfort Big Brother?"
"You already do more than enough. Stop thinking that way."
"No. It's not enough. I thought about it..."
Eun-ah’s eyes shone.
The lantern’s small flame reflected in her pupils.
"I can become Big Brother’s family."
"Huh?"
"I don't need to remain merely a girl who travels with you. I can become your family. If I become someone precious to you..."
"You're already precious to me, Eun-ah."
"No. Real family. Family who can lean on one another when things hurt without feeling ashamed."
As she spoke, Eun-ah rose and stepped out of the bed.
Her shadow fell across the wall.
It slowly removed its top.
"Big Brother is the only person I have—someone more precious than anyone else. I want to become that kind of person to you too."
"I'm telling you, you already are precious."
"Not merely precious. Real family. So Big Brother never feels alone or lonely."
The loose silhouette gradually shed its outer clothing and assumed the soft curves of a naked woman.
Srrk
Thump thump
Eun-ah climbed onto the bed again.
As she approached, a heart pounded loudly.
I couldn't tell whether it was hers or mine.
"This is all right, isn’t it? If I do this, I’ll become precious family to Big Brother too, right?"
Warm softness pressed against my chest.
"Then Big Brother won't have such sad eyes anymore, right?"
Eun-ah held my face and placed a light kiss beneath my eye.
Then she kissed my lips.
Mwah
Without hesitation, Eun-ah climbed atop me and began offering the comfort she had chosen.