Lulled to Sleep by His Touch
I had been a man myself once, so back in my prime I'd gone through every kind of porn there was. And of course among them I'd watched gangbang videos where a pack of men piled onto a single woman. No—to be honest, it was one of the genres I quite enjoyed. Of course, those genres always featured content that was anything but ordinary.
But every time a dangerous scene like that came on, I used to think to myself:
"Come on, they're all professional actors following a script. Nothing to worry about. It's all just a show. And I've heard there are even women in real life who don't mind it and actually enjoy it."
Suddenly... a murderous urge to kill my younger self came flooding over me so hard it made me dizzy. You fucking idiot. Sure, what you watched might have been a show. But in reality, that's not the kind of bullshit you get to spout. This is a terror so horrible it's almost impossible to put into words—a truly nightmarish experience.
So I wanted to scream. But no matter how hard I tried to scream my throat raw, the only sound that came out was muffled mmph, mmph moans. One of the bastards had clamped a rough hand over my mouth. That was terrifying too. Fully eight hands were coming at me.
They covered my mouth, gripped my wrists, held my waist and legs and chest—and still three hands were free, freely ravaging the body that couldn't scream or thrash. Before long my pants were pulled off, my underwear dragged up, and hands went down between my legs.
"Mmph! Mmph-mmph! Ummph!"
"Ah, just shut up for a second. We'll send you to heaven soon enough."
"Whoa, shit. What perfume is this ajumma wearing? There's this weirdly nice smell."
"What the fuck are you talking about, you retard? You into middle-aged women?"
Despite my powerless struggles, the bastards didn't seem to feel any resistance at all, just snickering among themselves and spouting garbage. I really wanted to die. This wasn't right. No matter what, this was really not right. Becoming a woman's body was already despairingly unfair...
And now I was going to get gang-raped by these half-assed punk thugs? This couldn't be. Not just any woman—even the unluckiest woman in the world wouldn't have something like this as an everyday occurrence. Please stop. No matter what, this isn't right. I'd rather... rather it be Kangho's side.
But... regardless of my will, the legs I'd been clamping shut with all my remaining strength were forced open. And the skin between my legs was laid bare before them. These disgusting bastards... except for the one covering my mouth and gripping my wrists, the three of them pressed their faces right up to it and stared.
"Hey. I take back what I said earlier. For real... there's a scent. Especially strong right here."
"Right? Weirdly good smell. Not like those country ajumma pussy smells."
"Whoa... it's wet. It's flowing."
Can't you stop! You crazy bastards! Please someone help me. If you just help... I'll do anything, so please save me from here. I desperately cried out that meaningless hope in my heart. But then... an unexpected memory surfaced.
"Huh? Hey, mister. Just keep walking. We've got business here... Wait? Ka... Kangho hyung-nim?!"
"Eeek! Kangho hyung. How are you here?"
"Huff huff huff... Finally found you. Hey! You bastards, get the hell back right now!"
Kangho appeared. I was surprised, but unexpectedly these thugs holding me also reacted with shock. So with the loosened hands I managed to turn my head and look at Kangho. He was coming toward us covered in sweat as if he'd been running hard, panting for breath.
Ugh. Haah... I can feel it. That distinctive male body odor of his. Even though he was still far away, I could already smell it from here. But shamefully, that caused an abnormal reaction in me. The fluid that had pooled between my legs... suddenly flowed down, and I felt it reach my knees.
Wh... why is this happening? And why is my body getting hot? Don't look. Don't look at me like this. Go... away. Right after making that wish, the exact opposite desire arose. But whether he knew my situation or not, he clomped closer.
And the ones holding me couldn't pay attention to me either, frozen solid. But... the one who seemed like their leader was a bit different. He walked out toward Kangho and spoke. But...
"Kangho hyung. This is our business. So if you interfere like in the old fam days... Huh? Guh!"
"Hiiiiiik!"
Before he finished speaking, Kangho's fist flew into his gut, and the guy crumpled right down. Looking at that, Kangho spoke commandingly to the remaining three who were terrified.
"I said let go and back off."
At those words I was finally freed from the hand that had been covering my mouth. And released from the hands holding my body. So I could cough and barely collect myself. But... the terror didn't disappear. The ones who until just now had been gripping me and making me powerless... just because they backed off didn't mean my powerlessness vanished.
So all I could do was grab the torn shirt and pants on the floor and cover my body. Kangho approached me and looked down. Our eyes met... and in that moment I flinched.
He was still panting, but the eyes looking down at me strangely... held pity. But somehow I felt more like I'd piss myself from that strength that had just dropped their boss in one punch—that unmistakably beast-like appearance—rather than that gentle gaze.
After glancing at me, Kangho kicked my bag that had fallen nearby to push it toward me, then sighed and approached the ones who had backed off. I expected a round of vengeful violence on my behalf. But his reaction was unexpected.
"Hey... you guys can't live like this. What were you thinking?"
"Ha... but Jeong-a noona said she was someone with no loose ends."
"You crazy bastards! Why would you believe that bitch Jeong-a? The one who ranks in this scene by scamming. You know she's just going to use you and wash her mouth out. Check the messages you got. Is there anything that openly says to fuck her?"
At that the guys pulled out their phones with dumbfounded expressions. And their faces froze. Looking at that, Kangho sighed and said.
"Please get a grip. How long are you going to live like in the fam days? Keep this up and you'll really cross the line. You guys are members of society now. You need to distinguish between what you can and can't do!"
It was a strange feeling. Not a violent beast who didn't care about consequences, but a wise mentor sincerely worrying about and advising those guys. This guy... had this side? After saying that, he turned his head to look at me and reached out to support me.
"Uh? Uhhh."
And whether I was flustered or not, he practically tucked me under his arm and turned to leave the alley. Not forgetting to say one last thing to the guy he'd knocked down as he left.
"Hey, still haven't fixed that habit of leaving your body open? Ugh... just call it even with what you did."
Just like that he instantly took control of the situation and brought me outside. But... I still couldn't collect myself. As I was dragged out I clumsily threw on the clothes roughly. Still my mind didn't return. An undeniable horrible fact kept circling in my head.
I... almost got gang-raped. By those bastards.
That fact wouldn't disappear and kept threatening me. So it was hard to shake off the dazed feeling, and Kangho asked me.
"Ajumma, where's your house?"
"Th... that way..."
Barely managing to stutter an answer to Kangho's question was all I could do. But even with that clumsy answer, Kangho found the way like a ghost, and soon I could return to our house.
Shaaaaaaa.
The sound of water from the shower kept brushing my ears. In the steam-filled narrow bathroom, I was sitting blankly on the floor under the hot water. The desire to die filled me. Why the hell... did this happen to me... Just recalling it felt like it would give me a fit, but the horrible memories kept surfacing.
And at the same time I had to endure a viciously paradoxical feeling. The existence that saved me from that nightmare. And the one who supported my frozen, powerless self and brought me here, then shoved me into the shower telling me to wash. That it was none other than... that bastard who raped me made me want to despair.
Ha... why is my fate like this? The guy who saved me from almost being gang-raped is the rapist who took my first time? Fuck! Even a novel written like this would get called shit. So I struck the water pooled on the floor and screamed out my surging emotions, but the sound was muffled and meaningless.
At least the fact that crying didn't show made me pour out tears for a long while and vent my grief. And only when my fingers were wrinkled and about to burst did I finally... admit the futility and go outside. And when I came out, he was still there. And he looked at me and made a surprised face.
"Ah, shit. Put some clothes on before coming out. Can't you see there's a person?"
But... without answering I stared blankly at him for a moment. And approached him. Completely naked. Then his expression grew more flustered. And I reached out and grabbed the belt and zipper of his pants. Then he grabbed my wrists and said.
"Ajumma, are you crazy? What the hell are you doing right now?"
"What am I doing? You know. Trying to help you continue what you were doing."
"Wh... what?"
He made an incredulous face at my words. But I shouted at him with a sharpness that could be called fierce.
"You're the same as those bastards anyway! You're planning to fuck me, right? No, you already did. So no need to hesitate anymore. Just keep doing what you want. I'll help you do it quick, so hurry up and do it and get lost! Since it's a discarded body anyway, just use it however you want and fuck off!"
Really... I just spat out whatever came without any thought in my head. Because if I didn't do even that I'd go crazy. I know too. That this is just venting. But even so I had no choice. But looking at me like that, he made an incredulous face and said.
"You done talking?"
"What?"
"Since nothing's coming out right away, looks like you're done. Good. Then lie down now."
"What do you mean by... Kyaak!"
And he twisted the wrists he was holding back and threw me onto the mattress. Ha... if you're going to do it, better on a bed? Yeah. That'd be better. I took a deep breath with a resigned heart. But... he didn't pounce. Instead what covered my body was... a blanket.
"Wh... what?"
"Just... sleep a bit."
"What? Sleep? What kind of nonsense is that right now..."
"Just... think of it as a nightmare and sleep a little. That'll be best."
What is that... But he really seemed to be trying to put me to sleep, reaching out and gently placing his hand on my forehead. There was a cigarette smell on his hand, but still it felt strangely warm. Was that why? Surprisingly I really felt half-asleep in a daze. To such me he muttered as if to himself.
"Sorry. I ended up making you feel sorry, ajumma."
What... was he sorry for? I wanted to ask but couldn't. Because I really felt myself drifting off to sleep and somehow had no energy. A strange feeling. For a while falling asleep felt like sinking into an abyss.
But... somehow today it felt strangely comfortable and warm. Hehehe... I'm going crazy. Letting the bastard who raped me into my room, and in front of him naked with just a blanket covering me, what kind of crazy... But despite that, with an undeniable comfort, for the first time in a long while...
I was able to fall into a truly deep and peaceful sleep.