I Became a Female Test Subject
He turned his gaze from the chart and looked at me. Only then did I realize it. Come to think of it, this man… had never once met my eyes while speaking. That only hardened the certainty behind the question I had just thrown at him. And he didn't deny it.
"Ha! You're not as dumb as I thought. Judging by how you act, I figured you wouldn't even notice. Yes, that's right. To be precise, it's not that I dislike you… it's closer to loathing."
"Why do you loathe me? Weren't we complete strangers the day we first met? Did I do something wrong to you?"
From then on, I felt it in a strange way. At first I simply thought he was blunt and awkward with people. But my instincts kept sending a signal that he was hostile toward me. And when we met again today, that feeling was even stronger. It was absurd.
Wasn't he just Changmin's subordinate? And we'd only met that one day? We weren't even acquaintances, so why? I couldn't make sense of the substance of his negative feelings. But he explained it simply.
"You see, I really can't stand people who can't even pull their own weight—who go around acting like total fuckups."
"Wh… what did you say?"
It was such outrageous verbal abuse that I lost my words, but he continued as if he'd been waiting for this, almost muttering to himself.
"You probably don't know… just how viciously Hexagon Group runs on bloodline. No matter how talented or skilled you are, you're nothing but a sidekick, and all the most critical positions are taken by people connected by blood, who stick together and rule the place.
"So even the borderline-intellectually-disabled fuckups of the clan get handed the presidency of some small subsidiary. It's ridiculous. This isn't some backwater company in the countryside—this is supposedly the world's top biotech firm, and they run it on this absurd bloodline-centric management.
"But the funny part is… they still succeed anyway. The handful of insane geniuses that appear in the family keep leading the company and carrying on the undying myth. And among them, the greatest of all would be the Chairman, of course."
I could already guess what was about to come out of his mouth. I didn't want to hear it. But the words kept coming.
"The greatest genius the family has ever produced, a leader overflowing with charisma who reigns over the corporate group—Hexagon's sovereign. That's your father. So I always wondered. How could the only child of a man like that… live such a thoroughly neglected life?
"Treated like he doesn't exist, ignored by his own family? It was a puzzle that never made sense. But now I think I understand a little. You really are… his child, and yet even he couldn't possibly cover for you—because you're a hopeless, irredeemable fuckup."
"Hey! Don't you think you're going too far? I admit I fall short in a lot of ways, but to say something like that—"
"Then what about the state you're in right now? Explain it."
"Wh… what?"
"Explain it. Not long after becoming a woman, working menial labor at a rural neighborhood mart, getting looked down on by lowlifes. And among them, you lock eyes with some idiot, spend the whole night rolling around in bed, then come out collapsing like some tragic heroine, wallowing in self-pity. Explain that pathetic sight."
"……!!!"
Fury surged up at his tirade, but I couldn't find words to refute him. Why… why did it look like that? I had genuinely been raped and left in misery—how could he talk about it so casually? Wait… but hold on… how did he know all that in such detail?
And right after it happened, as if he'd been waiting, he picked me up. I'd wondered about that, and as if reading my mind, he clicked his tongue and spoke.
"That look says you're wondering how I knew. Simple. Last time, I implanted a chip in your body that can monitor your condition."
"Wh-what? You've been surveilling me? Th… then why, in that situation yesterday—"
"Why didn't I come rescue you? Listen, Shin Hyomin. I'm not that kind of person. You're not someone I would do that for. And even if I were… why would I? Looking at the status the sensors put out… you were exploding with orgasm. Why interrupt a good time?"
"That's not true! There's no way!"
I shouted. I was so bitterly furious my hands shook. What? Orgasm? What kind of insane bullshit was that? It was rape. Clear sexual violence under coercion. I felt like I was dying. And he interpreted it that way? Watched and just left me?
I was so angry. But he looked even more incredulous at my attitude, throwing a cold, cynical glare as he spoke.
"Machines don't lie the way you do. So just admit it. You enjoyed it. You went and moaned in the arms of some deadbeat thug from a neighborhood so far gone Hexagon wouldn't even hire him as a cadaver for experiments. And not long after you'd been a man, with your sex barely flipped.
"Now do you understand why I have no choice but to loathe you? You are clearly the sole blemish on Hexagon's absolute monarch. No matter how much anyone tries to cover for you, you don't even meet the minimum standard of a human being—you're irredeemable!"
Irredeemable… the word stabbed sharp into my chest and lodged there, refusing to come out. And it brought back memories of Father.
'You useless thing…'
Father, who always used to look at me and say that like a habit. I knew I fell short. But I still wanted recognition. So I tried. But… I achieved nothing, and in the end even I myself ended up like this. So maybe some part of me was starting to accept it.
Maybe… Father had seen through to this essential nature of mine from the beginning, and that's why he said those things.
At that thought, anger surged up again. I didn't want to think about it. Especially not the day after going through something so horrific. Right now just that alone felt like my head would explode. So I didn't want to stay with this man either—this man who looked at me with contempt and spewed abuse.
But he kept talking, as if digging even more roughly into my wounds.
"Now I think I understand why the Chairman treats his only child that way. The legitimate heir of Hexagon, in a state this ridiculous and pathetic.
"If I had been born as his child like you… I would never have acted like such a fuckup. Looking at a child like you… the Chairman must truly pity you as a father.
"Ah! Come to think of it, you were a father with a child yourself, weren't you? Wow… your kid too must be really—"
"Don't you dare talk like that! I never wanted this either!!! And I don't care what you say about me, but don't you dare talk about my kid! I'll kill you!"
I'd been holding it in, but the moment he brought up my son, I couldn't take it anymore and exploded. I even spat out a death threat. There was no realistic chance of it, but I meant it with all my heart. I hated this bastard denouncing me right in front of my face enough that I truly wanted to kill him.
But looking at me like that, he actually seemed intrigued. Then he suddenly threw his phone at me. Wh-what? Startled, I caught it with the hands I'd been using to cover myself, and he said to me:
"Then give it a try."
"What? What did you say?"
"Kill me. There's an easy way to kill me, isn't there? Make the call. To your father."
"……!!!"
"That's his direct line. So call and tell him. There's an employee who's lost his mind and insulted Hexagon's bloodline. Please kill him. Would he really refuse a request from his only beloved daughter? You'll get to see my corpse with your own eyes soon enough. Go on."
His deranged rant left me speechless. Was this… a bit he was willing to stake his own life on? But the funny thing was… if it was Father, regardless of his feelings toward me, I had the feeling he really would do it. Yeah, if I just did that… I could wipe him out.
I could make this crazy bastard who insulted not only me but Father and even my son truly regret it. If I just dialed this number… but my finger wouldn't press it. Father's contemptuous gaze looking down on me kept rising in my mind. At the same time, I also wondered if this was really something worth going that far for.
Just… if I, if I just endure it, it'll be fine. That thought in my heart suppressed the urge to press the button. My heart was infinitely sorrowful and furious, but… still, this wasn't right. So… I didn't press it, and set it down beside me. Then, as if he'd known I would, he laughed and said:
"Puhahaha! Amazing. I expected it, but I didn't think you'd really be unable to do a thing. You really are irredeemable. Aren't you even angry? Doesn't it make you mad? You have the means of revenge right in your hand and you refuse and give up? Hearing all this and doing nothing, saying it doesn't matter… you really can't even fulfill your own role, can you."
"I don't… have any reason to hear that from you. I'm leaving."
Saying that, I got down from the hospital bed and picked up my clothes, reeking of sweat, that had been tossed carelessly beside me, trying to put them on. But even seeing that, he chattered on excitedly, as if something about it delighted him.
"Or maybe you're a severe masochist who gets turned on by being denigrated like that? Well, that would be worth researching too. Come to think of it, it also lines up with the past Queen Bee cases."
"Past cases?"
Still trying to put on my damp underwear, I couldn't just let that slip by. So I turned, and he wore a meaningful smile as he showed me something and said:
"Did you know? Within Hexagon, I've been designated as your responsible researcher. This is the ID for that. Thanks to it, information on past Queen Bee cases that wasn't disclosed even confidentially to staff has been opened and made available for me to review. And looking through it was quite a spectacle."
"What… was such a spectacle?"
"Obviously the Queen Bees' antics. Queen Bees who lived as men and then suddenly had their sex mutation manifest showed various abnormal behaviors… and the most representative among them was excessive sexual desire bordering on nymphomania."
"Wh… what?!!!"
I was so stunned I dropped the shirt I'd been about to put on. What was this about? Sexual desire? I wasn't like that… but as if driving a wedge, he continued.
"Simply put… it was universally confirmed that they all went mad with lust like crazed women, clinging to men and begging for sex. There's a reason the family hushed up Queen Bees.
"Even in an era with technology as advanced as now, management isn't easy—so in a time without that, if it manifested, becoming an irredeemable crazed whore was just a matter of time."
"……!!!"
At those words… I flinched and held the shirt I'd picked up against my chest, curling my body in. A crazed whore… what? But somehow that word made me feel an ominousness and, at the same time… a sweetness in my head. No. I didn't have weird thoughts like that. As I shook my head to clear it, he kept muttering.
"So… most Queen Bees' endings were tragic. Escaping confinement at home, drifting through the gutter, ending up discovered on their deathbeds as wrecked, ruined whores—that was the majority. Among them some tried to overcome it by becoming nuns or Buddhist nuns, but…
"The results weren't all that different. They caused problems there too. The only difference was that those with that much willpower saved themselves in the form of suicide?"
A sense of terror… settled over me. If a demon's prophecy existed, this would be exactly the feeling. So… for me, a Queen Bee in their terminology as well, the remaining endings were only those two.
But even if I wanted to deny it, I couldn't. Right now… the experience I'd gone through last night. If someone said that was the first step leading to those two endings, even I would find it hard to deny how plausible it was. Hahaha. It was too absurd.
Did misfortune have no end? Was my entire life decided as that kind of tragedy from the start? That was too… cruel, wasn't it? Why me? So as I felt dazed and hollow, he still twisted the knife of the words he'd driven in, more cruelly.
"So… honestly speaking, I think pity for you as a fellow human being is a luxury. Viewing someone who's soon going to die and become a cadaver, or else become a wreck, as the same kind of person is irrational. From my position, you are… just a guinea pig.
"I'll manage you so you don't die because you're precious experimental material, but I have no particular duty to care for or protect you. Rather, while you're alive, you're nothing more than a high-grade test subject to be utilized so I can collect data useful for various clinical trials and case studies."
Separate from my fate… that bastard's words still made me angry. But just like the misfortune coming my way, his malice somehow seemed endless. He said:
"Ah, come to think of it… there's no reason I have to use formal speech with a test subject. I'll just drop the formalities from now on."
"Do whatever you want. It's not like we'll be seeing each other again anyway."
I no longer… had the energy to listen to that disgusting talk. My legs still trembled, but I forced my clothes on in a crumpled mess and headed for the door out.
But then… he threw a completely unexpected line at me.