Memories That Replay Unbidden
Even after I got home, that strange aftertaste lingered at the tip of my nose and refused to fade.
"Haa. What the hell is this. That nauseating smell."
I sprayed air freshener and even washed the clothes I'd been wearing, but somehow it simply would not go away. So I had to lie under my blanket at home, tormented for a long while by that weird, fishy scent. Smell stimulates memory. Thanks to that, even though I didn't want it to, the scene I'd witnessed kept replaying in my head.
"Ah—heuk—aahng."
Jeong-a's fleshy naked body, curled on the floor as I'd looked up through the narrow vent gap, kept rising unbidden. And that damn bastard's body too—the one who'd set her heavy frame on top of himself like modeling clay and played with her however he pleased.
The vulgar, utterly repulsive, grotesque Irezumi tattoos carved into muscles pulled taut with full erection writhed as if alive, and the sensation of sweat trickling like a stream between those lines was supremely unpleasant.
My chest felt tight and even breathing was uncomfortable, so despite how exhausted my body was, I couldn't fall asleep. Maybe that was why sticky sweat seemed to cling to me, which only made me more miserable. The matter was urgent, but first I needed rest, so I tried hard to think of something else.
But of all things, what rose to mind was… the scene from the day my wife betrayed me. I'd averted my eyes, unable to meet their gaze, but that person hadn't cared—had finished the affair naked as if to show me, then denounced me. And the blow that followed. It had been excruciatingly humiliating and shameful.
Remembering that made me feel even worse. Really… why are there so many heat-crazed bastards and bitches in this world? Not thinking of anyone else, just going at it like animals whenever the urge hits, mating in a frenzy. Filthy scum. Unforgivable. Why do only you get to pour out those urges without a care?
I also… I have that too. Inside me there's a knot of desire piled up, unable to be released. So why do you ignore that? You pour it out without a care for others' eyes, yet you ignore me, mock me, torment me? I also… want to.
I want to do it too, and I can do it well. Better than that ugly bitch Jeong-a, I could do it so much better…
"Hiiiek!"
I bolted upright from the blanket in shock. Cold sweat was pouring down, and I was gasping for breath as if I'd sprinted full tilt. But that was the least of it. Had I been half-asleep? The insane thought that had risen unconsciously in my head nearly made me jump out of my skin.
"Fuck, what kind of bullshit is that? Why would I think something so ridiculous."
Even I found the completely absurd, crazy thought so ridiculous that I punched the innocent pillow with my fist and kicked the blanket with my feet, literally blanket-kicking as I thrashed around. Really… ever since that impossible thing happened to my body, something about me has seemed off in all kinds of ways.
"Good morning. Huh? Hyomin-ssi, you didn't get much sleep? You've got dark circles…"
"Ah, yes. Just a bit."
The manager tilted his head, looking worried not from my words but from my expression. Truthfully I hadn't slept a wink. It felt like I was getting a full dose of post-nut clarity without having done a thing. And looking at the manager who was offering me instant coffee out of concern, I thought:
Right. Let's gather more evidence. Simply driving that bastard out isn't the answer. Looking at the power structure in the store, the person in charge here is the manager no matter what, and he has goodwill toward me. But he's having a hard time because of that Gangho bastard running wild as he pleases and Jeong-a egging him on.
If I drive him out, I'll feel better, but ultimately it creates problems for the store's operations. So the best thing is to somehow grab a weakness that keeps him from moving, and make him submit obediently to the manager. Yeah. If that happens, I can go back to working with peace of mind like before.
Thinking that way cleared my head somewhat and made my goal clear. So I quietly handed over the coffee and, today, properly turned to face the manager who was trying to stick close to me again, and said:
"Manager!"
"Hm? Uh… what is it?"
"Don't worry. I think I've got a lead. If you just wait a little, I think I can solve everything. So rest easy and prepare while you wait."
"Pre… prepare what?"
"Well, obviously…"
I steeled my resolve and told the manager.
"Prepare to fuck that bastard over."
At my words, the manager made a bewildered expression at first, not understanding, then soon told me to go ahead and do whatever I believed was right. So I steeled myself again and prepared to dig into that bastard's background. I decided to infiltrate once more the place that had kept me up last night witnessing that scene.
"Hooo…"
I took a deep breath. Right—last night I'd gotten stuck on that unnecessary scene and come back without even thinking of leaving evidence, but today is different. What's the big deal. I won't do something stupid like getting scared and backing down. I will definitely leave evidence and render that bastard immobile.
With that resolve, after closing time I quietly turned my steps toward that place. Conscious somehow that there seemed to be fewer people around than last time, I carefully entered the ventilation shaft. And I lowered my posture and crawled stealthily toward the vent connected to the storage room, even though I didn't really need to.
But… even before getting close to the vent, the situation was already audible from the other side.
"Aheung! Ahk!"
Wow… the thought that they might not do it every single day, that I might come up empty, now felt like the thoughts of an idiot. These bastards—are they really sitting here doing this shit diligently at this hour without missing a single day? And the reputation that they work well was pure bullshit, huh.
I hadn't even gotten close to the vent on the other side yet, but I already felt like I could hear Jeong-a's moans and sense the sticky air and unpleasant body odor. Right. Enjoy yourselves well. Because today's the last day. I took out my phone from my pocket, finished preparing to record, and approached while muffling my sounds further.
I'll catch them. Today I will definitely capture Gangho and Jeong-a's shameless act on this phone. With that resolve I finally reached the vent. But… a puzzled thought struck me.
"Euhk. Good. Our Gangho, I love it so much I'm dying."
"Ha, ma'am, you're really something today."
The voice was different. It wasn't Jeong-a's voice. Ah, come to think of it, Jeong-a was off today. Then who the hell is making those sobbing sounds over there? I pressed my head to the vent and peeked. And for a moment I was shocked. Th… that person is?
"Heuk. Good. Way better than my husband."
It was the senior lady in her forties who worked at the fashion section. Wh… what is this? My head went blank for a moment. She was long-term staff, but still just a part-timer no different from me—yet she was one of the faction bosses among the female employees, and she was there.
I was flabbergasted. Someone who worked in fashion, dressed well, did Pilates regularly to maintain her figure, and acted all high and mighty… was now clinging to Gangho's body, who was practically young enough to be her son, purring out moans and sobbing.
Wh… what is this? It wasn't just with Jeong-a? Don't tell me… every female employee in the store is like his property that he can do whatever he wants with? Realizing that made the anger I'd been holding in my heart surge up even more intensely.
Just what the hell are you? What gives you the right to go around like the king of this place, treating every woman like your own bitch? Who gave you that right? Are you… that great. As a man, as long as your stamina is good in that department, you can do whatever you want?
Thinking that, my body trembled, and the fishy smell from inside made my stomach turn once again. I hate it. This air. Too disgusting. If yesterday when Jeong-a was there it had been like the smell of rancid oil, today something like dry dusty earth was tormenting my nostrils.
So I couldn't keep my wits about me like yesterday. I was angry. If so, what I had to do was clearly leave evidence of the shit that bastard was committing right now. But… for some reason I couldn't. The nauseous feeling in my gut made it impossible to concentrate.
Meanwhile, the senior lady was already approaching her climax.
"Aaaaah! Coming. Wa! There… th-there a bit more. More. Aht! Aaaahng! I'm… coming!"
And just like Jeong-a yesterday, the senior lady wrapped her arms around Gangho's neck, clamped her legs around his waist, and pressed her body tight against him, trembling. Then, as if being squeezed by a press, a hot heat and lewd fragrance came through the vent like a heat wave. And without realizing it, I was running away.
It was hard to explain why. For some reason, the presence on the other side felt like a terrifying monster. A merciless, strong male who would devour any female without resistance, leaving nothing behind. Before that indescribable intense presence, I abandoned any thought of executing my plan and had no choice but to flee.
As I ran, a resentful thought somehow surged up. So… all the women in your clique, you've been holding them however you wanted? With only me as the exception? Damn bastard. Disgusting bastard. Unforgivable son of a bitch. Why am I the exception? Am I that worthless…
"Huh?"
I stopped short again. I did it again… that weird thought. The strange, shameful thought that had startled me so much when it rose last night—I'd done it again. No. This isn't right. No matter how I think about it, this isn't sane. So right now I need to cool my head first. I need to dump cold water on myself and shake it off.
Otherwise… the sensitive parts of my lower body and the tips of my chest that are burning as if scalded right now feel like they'll burn away and disappear. Goddamn it. Why am I like this right now!