#0 - I Failed. This Story Begins with My Failure.
I failed. This is the story that starts from my failure.
Clack—clack—the sound of Go stones being placed filled the dojo. How many minutes had passed? I had no idea. I stared at the wooden board in front of me, along with the black and white stones. There was no path to victory. No matter where I placed my stone, I couldn't see a future where I won.
"Hoo..."
I let out a small sigh. No matter how much I thought, no brilliant move came to mind. The best spot I could find was all I had. Please let that be my lifeline.
Clack—
Damn, that came out a bit irritable. Startled by the violent snap of my stone, the kid sitting across from me flinched slightly.
Clack—
But the flinch was brief. The kid regained composure and placed his stone calmly. Only then did I realize my move had been a self-sabotaging blunder, blocking my own path. "The blunder after long deliberation"—that phrase fit perfectly.
Clink—
No need to look anymore. This was my defeat. Dragging it out would just make me look pathetic, so I tossed my stone onto the board.
"Ah, good game."
Catching him off guard with my surrender, the kid's eyes widened for a moment before he bowed politely to me.
"......Good game."
Was winning that satisfying? The kid grinned ear to ear even as he bowed courteously. Of course it was—he'd beaten a middle schooler who looked six or seven years older. I'd be thrilled too.
The kid scampered over to Sabumnim. Sabumnim praised him while nodding toward the consultation room for me to follow.
Before heading in, I reviewed my final game. 168 moves, concession defeat—no count needed, just a straight surrender. It was a pathetic game where I'd dragged it out before losing anyway.
*
When I entered the consultation room, Sabumnim wore his usual stern expression. I sat in the chair across from him, but he said nothing, just sipped his coffee.
"...Jung Yunho."
He called my name after half the paper cup's coffee was gone.
"Yes."
"...No regrets?"
Regrets? Starting Go? Not trying harder? Giving up after ten years? I wasn't sure. I didn't know where to even begin feeling regret.
One thing was certain, though: I wouldn't regret quitting Go. I had no talent for it.
Taking my silence as affirmation, Sabumnim downed the rest of his coffee in one gulp.
"You've worked hard all these years."
"You've worked hard"—I hated hearing that. It meant failure, ten years of effort down the drain.
But now, those words stirred nothing in me. It felt like watching news on TV. Maybe I'd subconsciously prepared myself, knowing my talent's limits.
"Thank you for everything."
With that farewell, I left the dojo. Greeting me outside were pink cherry blossoms, symbols of vibrant spring.
Coincidentally, it was my birthday.
*
"So you're still moping around?"
"Shut up, Jung Yuna..."
"Watch your mouth with your big sis... Did you go to school?"
"You think I skipped? Think before you speak."
The annoying girl in front of me was Jung Yuna, my five-years-older sister. People often say a big age gap makes sisters doting, but it varies. Not with her, anyway. Our sibling dynamic was brutally realistic.
"How long you gonna sulk? It's been half a month already."
Has it? I checked my smartphone screen.
April 30, 2015
Half a month already. Seeing the date brought my sense of time rushing back. Midterms were next week, too. Who the hell schedules exams with Children's Day smack in the middle? The thought soured my already bad mood even more.
Whether she sensed it or not, Yuna suddenly said,
"Hey, clear your schedule this Saturday."
I had nothing planned, but her demanding it out of nowhere woke my rebellious streak, so I snapped back curtly.
"Why all of a sudden?"
"Come somewhere with me."
"...Where?"
"To WCK."
WCK—War of Legends Champions Korea, the pro league for the hit game WoL. I didn't play the game, let alone follow the tourney. No reason to go.
"That game thing? Nah, go alone."
"Kinda awkward going solo, and I got two tickets. Just come once?"
"Midterms next week."
"You don't study anyway and couldn't care less about grades."
She nailed it.
"I'm not going!"
"Pretty pleeease~ Just this once! I'll grant you a wish! Any wish!"
Yuna went full aegyo mode. Refusing now risked a storm later. For my distant future's sake, I sacrificed the near one.
"Fine, let's go..."
"For real? No take-backs!"
"No take-backs" hit too close to Go, souring my mood further. I nodded to show I got it and shooed her away.
Yuna smirked smugly and headed to her room.
This Saturday was May 2—only two days left. I added "Outing with Yuna" to my phone calendar. Figured I'd zone out for four or five hours there.
With a deep sigh, I shut myself in my room. Sleep might lift my mood, so despite the early hour, I hit the hay.
At that moment, I had no clue that tiny choice would become a massive turning point in my life.
Meeting my idol, forging great bonds, facing setbacks, pushing forward, reaching the world's peak... and challenging that peak again.
This is the challenge of one worthless failure.