Chapter 43
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 43
Chapter Title: Death to the Fake Archbishop - 3
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My face skin burned like mad. Some of it was pain from the parts that hadn't been properly grafted yet, but the humiliation hit even harder. To think I had to flip that bastard's face skin over my own because I'd been toyed with by the fake saintess.
Of course, I did feel a bit of relief too. Who would've thought the stupid antics of those priests selling off believers' organs would come in handy in a situation like this? And this body had taken the surgery without a hitch. Probably because I was under such strong protection from the Ennesic Goddess. Yeah. The goddess was still on my side.
That thought made rage boil up inside me. If even the goddess wouldn't judge this karma, how dare these mere humans try? Whoever it was that created that fake saintess to toy with me, I'd make them pay dearly, no matter what.
But to do that, I had to escape this crisis first. I'd made a fake and sent it outside, so I could relax for a bit. I hadn't dared swap eyeballs since that seemed impossible, but those idiots probably didn't even know my eye color, so they'd think they'd really caught me and be too busy torturing the fake to notice.
The problem was what to do in the meantime. Flee during this gap? But with protesters surrounding the whole place, that wasn't promising. Hide then? I'd love to, but the traitor priests had gotten away, so there was nowhere to hide in the order at least.
"Damn it..."
I muttered a curse under my breath, and the priests surrounding me turned uneasy eyes my way. I glared at them and spoke.
"So, what do you think we should do now? Anyone have any good ideas?"
They just eyed me warily without a word. As my expression grew fiercer, one priestess reluctantly spoke up.
"How about we use this chance to escape? All eyes are on the fake right now..."
"Some of them are definitely surrounding the area. What if we get caught? You gonna take responsibility for that?"
"...I'm sorry."
"Any other ideas?"
As I turned my head, my eyes met those of a guy as fat as me. He flinched and spoke in a frightened voice.
"Wh-what about hiding? There's a basement, right?"
"You idiot. They already know about the basement. The priests outside would've spilled everything. Can't you morons think at all?"
"We are thinking..."
"Then spit out something useful! You stuck around here because you've got your own skeletons too, right? I know all about it. You're all trash that deserves death, vermin who'd get hanged the second you step out! So if you wanna live, use those heads of yours and find a way!"
"Y-yes!"
Frustrated, I finally yelled. They managed a response, but no useful ideas came. They just stood there fidgeting, waiting for the great Archbishop Bobby to come up with another brilliant plan.
Stupid, stupid, stupid idiots. I ground my teeth and tore at my hair. The unsecured skin twitched, scars reopening, but I ignored it. Useless bunch. They could only follow orders, too dumb to find a way to survive on their own!
I squeezed my eyes shut and started thinking. First, buy time. If I had time, I'd figure something out. Because Leo was out there. With his thorough personality, if I didn't contact him for so long, he'd send someone to check. Maybe even come himself. Then these guys were done for. Everyone would fall under Leo's blade. Yeah, just stall for time. Somehow, if I could buy time, I could live.
The situation was hopeless, but I'd survive somehow. Even when I'd first raped that girl and faced the gallows, or when I'd been injured by that mysterious Four Heavenly King in front of the Demon King's Castle, I'd gotten back up. And turned those crises into opportunities. This time too. Definitely.
I'd survive. And I'd crush the rebels, make them submit to me. Imagining that scene brought a smile to my lips. Yeah. It'd happen for sure.
Just like always.
Kiiiek
"Huh...?"
Suddenly the door creaked open, letting in a completely different light. The sunset glow was a bloody, sinister red. Looking up, two guards were stepping inside.
The priests and I watched them, entranced. One limped in noticeably, sighing, while the other entered sword drawn, scanning us carefully. And maybe it was my imagination, but when his eyes met mine, he quickly looked away. Then he grabbed the doorknob and quietly shut the door.
Thud
...
Even the faint rustle of shifting bodies and drifting dust fell silent. Everyone in the chapel plunged into silence as if by agreement.
"Um..."
But in situations like this, someone always feels compelled to break the silence. This time, it was the priest with the scar on his forehead from the surgery. He'd stayed inside with five guards for emergencies and now approached them.
"What's the situation outside? Have the protesters backed off?"
"..."
No answer. Sensing something off, one guard tensed and demanded.
"Hey. Answer me. What orders from the captain? Spit it out."
"..."
Still no reply. Instead, they scanned the chapel interior, eyes gauging our forces like.
"Hey! Answer now! You protesters in disguise? Damn it, name and affiliation!"
"..."
Silence again, but this time one moved. The guard who'd met my eyes earlier scanned around for a long moment, then slowly raised a hand to his helmet.
That's when I spotted something faintly glowing on his hand. Like a star in a winter night sky, it glimmered faintly in the dark, drawing my gaze unnaturally. It was just a split second, but staring at it pierced through me, cold sweat running down my body.
It was a ring. Not big, but solid gold, masterfully crafted—worth a fortune.
And I'd seen that ring before.
Five years ago. In that demon land where I'd gained everything.
One thought flashed in my mind.
No way.
As his fingers touched the helmet, I wished time would stop. But I had no way to freeze time, and the approaching fate shed its shadow, unveiling itself. The heavy helmet came off, dark brown hair nearly black cascaded down, revealing a rural youth's face—and I called his name.
"Lu...ca..."
"Who are you!"
But a guard bellowed and charged, burying my fatal slip under his shout. I thanked him even as I mourned his inevitable death.
True to his training, the guard thrust his spear mercilessly at the unknown intruder. Speed, stance, accuracy—all perfect. But failing to gauge the opponent's strength was his last mistake. Luca casually raised his sword, caught the blade with his free hand, deflected the charging spear upward, and pierced the empty throat.
"Gurk!"
The death rattle was swallowed with his breath. Maybe it was too fast for him to even realize. But Luca's eyes were still on us. He stared silently, then twisted the embedded sword upward, severing the head outright.
"Kya啊啊啊啊啊!"
With a crunch, blood sprayed as the head soared into the air. It smashed against the ceiling, shattered skull fragments raining down with brain matter like hail. The priests, seeing such gore for the first time, screamed in terror.
"Th-this madman!"
"Guards! Guaaaards!"
They cried desperately for their last hope, but as trained soldiers, the remaining guards refused futile fights. When they didn't move, a priest beside me instinctively turned to flee—but that only hastened his end.
Swish
"Gah...!"
An arrow and splinter pierced the fleeing priest's neck and skull precisely. Looking up trembling, I saw Luca holding a broken spear shaft, and beside him, a woman aiming a crossbow. The other priests just quaked in fear, but I shuddered at how the wood splinter had flown faster and harder than the arrow.
Only then was I certain. The man before me was Luca. The country bumpkin I'd inwardly scorned, but who'd proven himself the Hero over time.
And he was here, right in front of me.
Suddenly everything clicked. Sera's sudden escape. The fake saintess's appearance and the citizens' fury. It all made sense why it'd happened overnight. And what it all pointed to was clear.
Luca had come to kill me.
Even if not to kill, his intent wasn't friendly. Did he know everything from that day? My first instinct was no way, but it didn't matter now. If he knew it all, then I...
"Ah... aa..."
Maybe if I gave info on Eli's whereabouts, he'd spare my life? But that hope faded fast. Mentioning Eli might enrage him into torture. Of course. I'd do the same. If my identity was exposed now, no way out.
Only one choice left. Don't get exposed. Somehow make him mistake someone else for me.
But how?
The good news: I had someone else's face now. The bad: Luca probably knew that too. He'd hunt me down somehow. Using my behavioral tells, maybe. Problem was, I didn't even know what those were.
Act as natural as possible. Somehow. Like everyone else.
Meanwhile, Luca approached the remaining guards. They'd lost all will to fight, staring at the approaching nightmare. Luca eyed them and said quietly.
"Barricade the door."
"Y-yes?"
"Calling the outer guards now is pointless. Too noisy for them to hear, and if they come, protesters will swarm. You don't want more enemies either. Barricade it. I'm just here for one man."
"But that huge door, how..."
"The woman I brought will show you. She has more combat experience than you, probably skilled in defense too."
"Is that why you brought her?"
The other removed her helmet, revealing long hair. Luca looked apologetic as he said to her.
"Not exactly. But please."
"Sure."
The one-eyed woman's face seemed familiar. Her leg dragged badly—probably not her own. Few had such a striking look, so it'd stick in memory. And probably not a pleasant memory.
"Understood..."
"Y-you damned bastards!"
As the guards submitted and followed her, one priest barked roughly. But he shut up the instant Luca met his eyes. Soon, heavy footsteps approached.
Thud.
Damn it.
Thud. Thud.
Damn it, damn it!
As his footsteps neared, my hands shook uncontrollably. I had to do something now. If he asked who the archbishop was, priests would instinctively look my way—even without speaking, it'd give me away.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
A way. Think of a way. Incite priests to flee together? No, massacre. Confess identity and beg forgiveness? Ridiculous. Say the archbishop already fled? Or suicided? Nonsense. If fled, they'd know; if suicide, demand the body.
"Hah... heuk... heuk..."
Then the fat priest beside me panted roughly. His flabby flesh poured sweat like rain, visibly tense. If I weren't the archbishop, I'd suspect him first.
...
Yeah. If I were him, I'd suspect this guy first.
A plan flashed in my mind. Not perfect, but the only one now. If there's a chance, take it.
"Hey."
"Y-yes?"
I called quietly, and he trembled as he answered. I said to him with genuine-seeming concern.
"That guy's suspecting you as the archbishop."
"M-me?"
"Yeah. Look at his eyes. He came for me, and he'll slit your throat if he thinks you're it."
"H-heuk...!"
"I know him. If you do nothing, you'll die in a minute. Want that?"
He shook harder, panting, voice on the verge of tears.
"I... d-don't wanna die."
"Of course."
I sighed in relief. Good, he's an idiot.
"Then I'll tell you how to live. When he approaches, say this: Luca, I was wrong. I committed a mortal sin, forgive me. And no matter what he asks, pretend panic and just repeat you're sorry. You won't die right away at least."
"Lu-what?"
"Luca. Remember. Just repeat you were wrong. That's how you survive. Got it?"
"I... I'm..."
He hesitated, dragging words. Please, just do it. Or I die. Luca was almost here. I cut it short.
"Just do as I say. He's right in front."
"I..."
"Shh."
Stop.
He stopped right in front of us. I kept my head down, eyes averted. The other priests were too terrified to meet eyes, so it wasn't suspicious.
"Come out. Bobby."
His voice dropped like a guillotine blade. Priests trembled silently. But if nothing happened, someone would crack from fear.
"Just need Bobby. Where is he?"
Glancing, the pig was just shaking, speechless. Come on, damn it. Speak. I clenched my fists, praying. He started moving slowly.
"Come out now, Bobby. It's better for you."
Good. Thanks, Luca. Now speak, you pig. He's saying it too.
Thud. Thud. Thud. Heart pounding or whatever slammed my ears. I bit my lip till it bled. Please. Speak, idiot. Please!
Stop.
His footsteps halted right before me. I held my breath, staring at the floor. Sweat dripped, pooling like shadows. Then his breath blew over my hair.
"..."
Please. No. Spare me. I don't wanna die. Do something. I can't die like this. Goddess, please!
"Luca!!!"
A guttural scream echoed desperately. I gasped, looking instinctively. The lovable pig knelt, sobbing.
"Sorry, Luca! I was wrong! Forgive me, please!"
He groveled flat. But Luca didn't move. Just stood before me, breathing.
Couldn't meet eyes, so no clue where he looked. I prayed again. Please, Ennesic Goddess. Save your faithful servant. Grant light.
Just this once, save me from this crisis.
"Bobby."
As my final prayer ended, his voice fell. No courage to face it, I closed my eyes. Wind whistled as his hand swept past.
"Aaaaaaaah!"
Blood spurted. A tearing scream filled the chapel. I collapsed to my knees, clutching my face.
And looked at the priest writhing beside me, one eye gone.
"Aaah! Aaaah! Aaaaaaah!"
"Oh... oh my god!"
"Heavens... Goddess!"
As horrified priests recoiled, Luca approached the pig priest. He pinned his thigh with a knee, then plucked out the remaining eye.
"Uwaaaaaah! Aaaaaaah!"
Splat.
The crushed eyeball hit the floor from his hand. For the first time, facing a burst eyeball, I panted roughly. The crushing fear lifted, one thought emerging.
I... li...ved...?
Gathering courage, I looked up. Luca headed for him, not me. The plan worked, luckily.
"...Bobby."
"Uh... hngh...!"
I edged back a bit. No strength to stand, dragged knees a step. But Luca ignored me.
"You're still the same."
"Uh... aaah..."
Crisis averted, now escape his sight. Calmly, I moved back another step.
"Hoo... hoo..."
Hand back hit another priest's shoe. A bit more, blend in.
Just a little farther.
Crunch.
"Hey."
"Uwaaaaah! Aa... aaa?"
A large hand gripped my shoulder hard. I screamed instinctively, looking up.
And met Luca's piercing gaze.
Blacker-than-night eyes pierced my vision. In that devouring darkness, swallowing all light, I saw my trembling self. He eyed my sweating form, then slightly loosened his grip.
"Got a favor to ask. Will you?"
"Y-yes...?"
N-not exposed? Seemed so for now. But he didn't release, dragging me to the pig. Don't resist, I followed meekly. Luca placed my shoulder in arm's reach before him.
"He's bleeding too much. Might die like this. Help him."
Heal him? I smiled faintly. Not caught. Not caught.
"A... yes. I will."
"Good."
"Y-yes... euk...!"
Suddenly he grabbed my nape, forcing eye contact. Then slowly said.
"Then, pluck it out."
"Pardon?"
As I asked, he yanked my left eyelid up. Thin skin tore, pain surging.
"Aaak...!"
"I want him looking at me with both eyes."
Luca stared unblinking. Then slowly spat.
"So. Pluck out your eyeball and give it to me."