Chapter 28
Chapter 28
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Translator: crow
Chapter Title: Securing the Airway is Important (1)
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8 a.m.
I didn't wake up to the alarm.
To put it simply, I woke up to the sound of every muscle in my body screaming.
I was still in the exact same state as last night, when I'd crashed into bed without even taking off my clothes.
As I dragged my creaky body upright, my shoulders and back let out a series of ominous cracks, like joints realigning.
“Ughhhh… so stiff…”
I shuffled to the kitchen like a zombie.
I hit the button on the coffee pot and grabbed the biggest mug from the cupboard.
On a day like today, I wasn't settling for Americano. I needed to down an espresso like it was poison—just to jolt my brain back to life.
It felt like the only way I'd get my head straight.
Outside the window, the world was dazzlingly clear. The perfect weather for a holiday morning.
Of course, that didn't apply to me.
While the coffee brewed, I sank onto the sofa and, out of habit, pulled up the blue window floating in front of me.
Even after that shitshow on my way home yesterday, I couldn't quit this damn gallery. Guess I'm pretty hooked.
Pushing down the exhaustion as best I could, I posted a morning greeting with the new thread.
Title: A strong and mighty morning! Good to see you, gallery fam.
Author: Hell Joseon Slave 1
Yeah, today I wouldn't let those bastards drag me around.
Today was the day I'd take control of the conversation from these ghosts.
But my ambitious plan shattered with the very first comment.
God's Scalpel: Hey, welcome.
The greeting was short and to the point. But the sentence that followed was the problem.
It was a death sentence for my entire holiday.
God's Scalpel: Hell Slave, you conked out last night like you were dodging us with that "I'm tired" excuse? No slacking off. We're picking up right where we left off with the street emergency medicine lecture from yesterday. Topic: airway management. Don't even think about bailing.
…?
I couldn't believe my eyes. Picking up now? With what?
What the hell was this lunatic babbling about?
These crazy bastards were trying to ruin my holiday again.
I frantically hammered the keyboard—or my thoughts, whatever.
Was "hammered" the right word?
Anyway.
Hell Joseon Slave 1: Come on, guys. Today is my off day. Holiday. Day off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
└ Latte is Just Talk: Since when do doctors get days off?
└ Anonymous (211.36): Yup~~ We'll just wait for you to show up~~
└ God's Scalpel: No arguments. We're starting now.
What a load of bullshit.
I launched into my last-ditch desperate struggle.
Not just whining that I didn't want to—not that. This was a purely practical issue.
Hell Joseon Slave 1: How the hell am I supposed to practice airway management anyway!!! You want me to shove a tube down my own throat right now or what?
My desperate plea left the ghosts silent for a moment.
Then came a barrage of utterly idiotic comments that no human intelligence could possibly produce.
Anonymous (211.36): No cluuue
Latte is Just Talk: Tsk tsk, lack of will. Figure it out yourself.
Was I crazy? Forcing myself to study something I didn't want?
Hippocrates' Heir: Hmm… How about getting a pig lung and practicing tube insertion on that?
Where the fuck do I get a pig lung, you maniac?
Did I need to hit up a blood sausage joint or something?
The most realistic suggestion came from a random passerby.
Anonymous (118.235): Fair point. You need a dummy for procedural practice. Hey, doesn't your hospital's ER have a sim room? They gotta have an intubation mannequin there. Borrow one.
Sim room.
Of course it exists. A practice space stocked with fancy gear for med students, EMTs, nurses, and residents. But that place…
└ Hell Joseon Slave 1: You think a first-year like me can just waltz in on my day off and say "Mind if I practice~?" and use it whenever I want?
└ Hell Joseon Slave 1: It's scheduled under supervision, you reality-blind idiots!
My wail plunged the gallery into silence again.
Good. Let's hypothesize why these lunatics were acting like this.
These damn ghosts were dead. Dead and forgotten all the harsh realities of the hospital system.
So my rational conclusion: all that was left in these ghost bastards was pure medical knowledge and their twisted desire to teach it.
Sigh…
I stared blankly at the steam rising from the coffee pot.
In the end, there I was—stranded on my living room sofa, assigned the world's most useless task on my precious holiday morning: "How to intubate a nonexistent mannequin."
Fuck. What was I supposed to do with this?
These crazy ghost bastards acted like I was some cartoon character who pulled miracle tools out of my ass whenever I asked for help.
Yell "Intu mannequin!" and one pops out of my pocket?
***
After a long silence, I surrendered first.
No point holding out—these ghosts would just spam me with endless sophistry about the importance of airway management until my holiday ended.
Better to play along and wrap it up quick than listen to that crap.
Reluctantly, I opened my laptop. Typed "medical simulation mannequin" into the search bar. The screen filled with shopping links. Prices all over the map.
I uploaded an image of the cheapest CPR dummy and posted it to the gallery.
Hell Joseon Slave 1: This one good? 480,000 won. Should be fine for practicing bagging at least.
OR Ghost 3: What is this, some new kids' toy?
Latte is Just Talk: That's for reserve army training or whatever. Not for you. You gonna practice saving lives on that? Dream on.
Anonymous (211.36): What are you even gonna do with that! It's just a rubber doll with holes drilled in it! For intubation practice, you need at least vocal cords and epiglottis simulated! All that's good for is basic bagging!
Fuck. Standards are sky-high.
Tears in my eyes, mustard down my throat, I scrolled to a much pricier pro model and showed them.
"Realistic anatomical structure, endotracheal intubation capable."
Price: 2.3 million won.
Hell Joseon Slave 1: Okay, this one? Dedicated airway intubation model.
└ God's Scalpel: No, no. At minimum, it needs to handle cricothyrotomy too.
└ Hell Joseon Slave 1: That's a surgical skill. Do I really need to practice cutting throats right now?
└ God's Scalpel: If intubation fails multiple times, what's next? Straight to incision. In an emergency, you gonna let the patient die while saying "I'm mostly internal med, so I can't cut throats"? Any ER doc worth their salt knows it cold.
These fuckers.
Not that they didn't know—they just didn't care it was my money. Assholes.
Judging by their reactions, these ghosts must've died loaded. Share some with me, why don't you.
Worst part? I couldn't argue back.
Fine, cric practice is legit needed.
With shaking hands, I added "cricothyrotomy capable" to the search.
The mannequin that popped up made me doubt my eyes. 8.9 million won. Nearly ten mil. These insane ghosts.
I just gawked at the screen in despair, no reply, so the ghosts started arguing among themselves.
Latte is Just Talk: Tsk tsk, kids these days blame the gear. Back in our day, we grabbed a pig throat, sliced it open, sewed it up, practiced like that!
OR Ghost 3: Pig and human throats the same, gramps? Mannequin's best, right?
Hippocrates' Heir: Ignoring the living's financial woes is unwise! We must seek alternatives!
Yeah, Hippocrates' Heir. You're the best.
Watching their idiotic but somewhat productive debate, an idea flashed in my head.
'Right, I can't buy it anyway. So…'
To end the debate, I threw out my final proposal.
Not serious, of course.
Hell Joseon Slave 1: Fuck it, enough already, guys. Can't afford the fancy shit anyway, so I'll look into using hospital facilities. Cool?
The gallery went quiet at my suggestion.
Then Hippocrates' Heir dropped a comment like he'd slapped his knee.
Or at least, that's how I pictured it.
Hippocrates' Heir: Aha! Exactly! The darkest place is under the lamp! Living one, doesn't your workplace have the ultimate practice room!
Fuck. Here it comes.
Anonymous (211.36): Yeah! Hell Slave! Just schedule it! Call your department director or prof right now—politely ask if you can use the sim room solo on your day off! Perfect solution!
And so the debate ended with the dumbest conclusion on earth.
I stared blankly into space.
A first-year resident.
On her day off.
Calling the director.
To ask: "I really wanna study, so could I use the sim room alone?"
Are you insane?
But the ghosts were already in party mode.
Anonymous (210.94): Call!
OR Ghost 3: Call now!
Respiratory Ghost: Man up and make the call!
Reluctantly, I picked up my phone.
And found "Director Park Woong" in my contacts.
Fuck. Do I really have to?