Chapter 22
Chapter 22
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Translator: crow
Chapter Title: Yet Another Peaceful ER Shift (3)
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Two days later.
The worst stigma of my life turned out to be far more tenacious and persistent than I'd imagined.
Over the course of those two days, the primal nickname "The Guy Who Pulled a Patient's Tooth" had evolved into all sorts of bizarre and insulting variations.
I'd been called everything from a dentist to some dude who wanted to go to dental school to Louis XIV's personal physician.
Fuck.
Still, I had to go to work.
A slave chained to the shackles of a paycheck has no choices. With vacant eyes, I changed into my scrubs and boarded the bus.
Maybe I should buy a car soon.
Oh, right. I don't have a license.
What a shitty world and a shitty DMV.
6:58 PM. Perfect time to clock in for night shift.
Two minutes until the official start of my shift.
Two minutes—short if short, long if long... nah, it's never actually long. Yeah.
The ER automatic doors slid open. The familiar smell of disinfectant, unidentified screams, and the bloodshot eyes of sleep-deprived staff. Everything was perfectly, predictably the same. I tried to make myself as invisible as possible and headed to the doctors' lounge.
Wow! Another peaceful night shift start! I wonder how many cases will torment me tonight!
Pretending to be cheerful, I muttered a joke to myself that wasn't funny at all as I set down my bag. That's when it happened.
"Ooh."
A voice I knew all too well came from behind me.
"Tooth-Puller Man has arrived?"
The lounge chief, fourth-year resident Lee Min-jae.
Lee Min-jae draped his arm over my shoulder with his signature infuriating grin.
"What're you pulling out today? A patient's kidney? Gallbladder maybe? If you get on Han Hyun-jae's bad side, he'll yank out every organ you've got. Haha!"
Funny? You think that's funny?
I hid my rotting expression and forced an awkward smile. If I got serious here, I'd just earn another shitty title like "The First-Year Who Can't Read the Room."
I didn't want to be the voluntary outcast. Better to play along as much as possible.
Ignoring Lee Min-jae, I sat at the station computer and turned to the monitor.
[Adult ER Bed Status]
[23/33]
Fuck! Holy shit!
What a clusterfuck right from the start!
Twenty-three out of thirty-three beds already occupied. And the day shift hadn't even left yet. If even a few more patients rolled in tonight, we'd be setting up cots in the hallway for triage.
As I sighed at the emergency status board, fourth-year Lee Min-jae sidled up.
"Han Hyun-jae, come here."
He plopped me down in front of the computer.
"From now on, update the emergency status board exactly as I say. Super important, so don't miss a single word."
"Yes, sir."
"Alright, type this slowly, following along."
His voice was low and serious.
"First, delete the ENT night emergency care unavailable message..."
My fingers froze over the keyboard.
"Pardon? Suddenly?"
"Word is ENT (*Ear, Nose, and Throat) had some changes—on-call or staffing or whatever. Anyway, they're super positive about night calls now. Lucky us."
So ENT was back on night emergencies. I could practically hear the spike in difficulty for my shift as the first-line doc.
I fumbled into the emergency status board and started editing.
[ENT: 24-hour emergency care available]
Next order.
"And change Hematology-Oncology to accept only our hospital's follow-up patients..."
"Got it!"
[Hematology-Oncology: Emergency care available only for this hospital's F/U patients]
Tap tap tap.
"Pediatric Respiratory subspecialty—no attending, so unavailable..."
"Yes, sir!"
Low birth rates my ass—pediatricians were dying out first. Tonight, I'd be arguing with parents about shipping their wheezing kids elsewhere.
[Pediatrics: Pediatric Respiratory subspecialty unavailable (no attending physician)]
"Ophthalmology—straight-up can't take any cases."
"Yep."
I mumbled soullessly as I typed. The rumors about their on-call system being totally broken were true. Now, every patient coming in with something in their eye or eye pain was on us to redirect.
[Ophthalmology: Emergency care absolutely unavailable]
All edits done.
Lee Min-jae scanned the screen, nodded in satisfaction.
"Good. Nice work."
At least the start was peaceful.
The ER bed status still showed that shitty 23/33, but none were critical enough to need a doctor right away.
Most patients were stable, waiting on tests, or getting admitted.
I hunkered down in the corner of the station.
Please, let nothing happen until my shift ends.
Riiing-riiiing-riiiing-
The phone started ringing.
I picked up without thinking.
"Yes, Emergency Room."
"Uh... my athlete's foot has been really bad for three days now..."
A man's voice on the other end, deadly serious and desperate.
"..."
I was speechless for a moment.
Athlete's foot? Calling the ER about athlete's foot? This guy for real.
On par with "Hello? Is this 911? I got bit by a mosquito."
"This is the Emergency Room."
I delivered the rejection in a cold, robotic tone. Hung up before he could say more.
Click.
Yeah, peaceful. So fucking peaceful.
Less than a minute after I zoned out staring into space again.
Riiing-riiiing-riiiing-riiiing-
The phone rang again. I didn't want to answer. But ignoring a ringing phone wasn't an option, so with a deep, dreadful sigh, I picked it up.
"Yes, Emergency Room."
"Hey! You guys are in deep shit! My friend was messing around and shoved a grape jelly up my nose, and it won't come out! I can still breathe!"
A young guy's panicked voice exploded from the receiver, on the verge of tears. Faintly in the background: "Dude, sorry! Hehehe!"
Grape jelly. Nostril.
I pinched my temple. The new ENT prof would love this case—already queued up.
It was an emergency. Foreign body obstructing a breathing passage.
I replied as professionally as possible.
"...Come on in. But the wait's huge."
Not a lie. Over twenty patients already waiting. Grape jelly comes out after them—if it doesn't melt into snot first.
I hung up and stared at the ceiling. God, Buddha, Allah.
Why these trials for me?
My prayers went unanswered. God sent a third call instead.
Riiing-riiiing-riiiing-
What moron now? In full resignation, I picked up.
"Any chance I could get a hangover shot and some nutrient IV? Do you prescribe those in the ER?"
A cultured, calm middle-aged man's voice. Content? Not cultured at all.
I didn't even feel like responding.
"...This is the Emergency Room."
Click.
I slammed the receiver down and sank deep into my chair.
Why so many phone villains today?
Shaking my head, I pondered this insane world once more.
"Does rolling like this even leave anything behind?"
A hollow laugh escaped me as I remembered my one reward system.
Sigh... Time to check my points.
I opened the Gallery window familiarly.
Considering what I'd done, there should be a decent haul, right? That MI case was huge. Maybe 800 LP?
I eyed [Held LP]. Then doubted my eyes.
[1,522 LP]
...? Whoa?
Happier than seeing 15 million won hit my account. Well, maybe not that happy. Anyway, fucking thrilled.
What had I even done?
Rewinding the last few days. Faces of patients I'd handled flashed by like a montage.
Right, the MI and...
That old guy with sore throat. Nearly sent him home with cold meds—walking time bomb with inferior wall and RV infarction. Probably the bulk of the points.
The dried seaweed guy and...
Dude who scarfed dried seaweed like snacks and wrecked the ER. Thought it was bowel obstruction, panicked, handed off to GI. Still counted as medical action. Even bullshit cases give points—new discovery.
The Fire Noodle guy and...
Psycho who self-harmed with capsaicin. What'd I even do for him? Right, botched the IV so handed to the nurse. But ordering fluids, painkillers, kindly pointing out the bathroom—got credit. System's generous.
Staring at 1,522, I fell into happy deliberation. What to spend on? Fatigue Recovery Potion maybe?
Nah.
My plan: Save for 5,000 LP first.
[Possession]
Cost: 5,000 LP
Description: For 30 minutes, a designated Gallery user possesses your body, or floats invisibly beside you to guide in real-time.
Cheat skill.
You never know. Might hit a super urgent case needing skills when my hands are worthless.
I'm still half a doctor. Can borrow brains, not hands.
Even 30 minutes is huge for patient and me.
5,000 LP ain't bad for that.
Until then.
Gotta grind.