Chapter 56: Shake Off the Pressure
“Haa.”
A deep sigh escaped her lips. It was the kind of sigh that felt like it could cave the ground in, but unfortunately, it wasn't quite that powerful. Overwhelming worry gripped her body, but it wasn't a stage she couldn't stand on at all. She was just trembling because it was a stage she'd never experienced before.
An uncontrollable mix of pressure and tension had suddenly overwhelmed her body.
“Yeah. That's all it is.”
Ray steadied her breathing.
“You did great again.”
PD Jo Young-soo's sudden mid-check. She'd monopolized a stage the other members had wanted to check out too. She hadn't taken their consideration for granted, but she couldn't let down their expectations either. She'd gritted her teeth, squeezed her eyes shut, and thought, Just pretend you're dying once, before grabbing the mic.
The reaction wasn't bad. Oppa Hyun-woo had nothing but praise, and Unnie Ji-min, Unnie Hye-soo—everyone had cheered her on, saying she'd done well.
“I know that.”
It wasn't just empty words. It was what she truly felt.
Ray turned around. It was quiet.
The long-awaited finals of the Supreme Beat Contest. She could hear thumping from above, the sound of crowds filling the seats. And the noise of the production crew supporting for a flawless broadcast.
But this corridor was silent right now. She sat in a corner where no one seemed likely to pass, glancing around cautiously.
“You're alive, aren't you, Choi Gyu-jin? You're alive, so why are you worrying like this? Huh? Just peeking to see if anyone's coming? Hey... seriously. Be serious for once.”
Ray raised both hands. She grabbed her head and shook it. Good thing. She hadn't even touched her hair yet—after a few years as an idol, she could do this math with her eyes closed.
“No need to be nervous, Choi Gyu-jin. You can do it. You can nail it. Just do it like you've been doing all along—what's so hard about that? Just... keep going like always. Just do it.”
She rubbed against the wall. There was dust in this deserted spot, but she didn't care. Ray pulled out her neatly folded lyrics sheet from her training pants pocket. Like rappers practicing, she moved her hands. Swaying them back and forth to the rhythm, she muttered the lyrics.
“You and me. How we'll whisper from now on... no, that's not right.”
Ray shook her head.
“Whis-per~ Should I drag it out like thaaat? Ughhh!!”
She grabbed her head again. She was anxious. So anxious she felt like she was going insane. What if she blanked on the lyrics? What if she messed up the dance? She'd been on big stages with huge crowds before, but today was different. It was dream concert level—no, the pressure bearing down was even greater.
“And...”
And what if we lose today? What then?
“If it's because of my mistake...”
She felt like she was losing her mind. Visions were already flashing before her eyes: dropping the mic, botching the lyrics.
Tell me it's not true. Please, just say it once. It's not gonna happen.
“Uwaaaah!!! I'm seriously gonna lose it...!!! Uwaaaah.”
“Then you can't do that.”
She stopped clawing at her hair. Ray looked up. Seo Hyun-woo was gazing down at her calmly.
***
She's shaking.
A lot of footsteps echoed from upstairs and downstairs. It was like subway vibrations, but that wasn't what was making her tremble.
No need to check the system. I closed the status window.
Squatting Ray was in full anxiety mode. She didn't need items to boost her overwhelming stats. What Ray needed was confidence. The belief that she could do it.
“...How did you find me?”
“Everyone's looking.”
“Ah. The unnies too?”
I nodded and sat next to Ray. She tried to stand, stretching her curled legs and planting her feet on the floor, but I grabbed her wrist.
“No need to push yourself.”
“Huh?”
“Just... you don't seem ready yet.”
“B-but the unnies are looking for me.”
I held up my phone.
“Not right now. You can slack off a bit. Hye-soo said she was going to the bathroom, and still no reply.”
“Yeah.”
Ray nodded quietly.
“Hye-soo unnie doesn't seem like it, but she has irritable bowel syndrome. Guess she was super nervous too.”
“Ji-min's been radiating cold vibes since earlier.”
“Beats Elsa. Best to shut up and stay quiet then.”
“Yeah, everyone's relieving tension in their own way, so no need to force it.”
“Huh?”
I turned my head slowly.
“You said this stage is the last one. Earlier. That if you mess up here and don't win, it's all your fault. Can't blank on lyrics. You're carrying the weight of the world.”
“Uh... uh...”
“No one told you to carry that burden.”
“Pressure isn't something someone gives you.”
So why are you carrying it when no one handed it to you? I don't get it. Just toss it.
“Huh?”
Ray's face turned toward me, asking how. The face that said, How do I toss that?
“What, surprised? How do you toss trash? Into the bin and forget about it. Same thing. Pretend you chucked it in the trash and move on. And so what if you blank on a few lyrics?”
“Whaaat? Oppa! You can't blank on lyrics, duh. Then we won't win!”
“You want to win?”
Ray raised both hands.
“Of course! Duh!”
“What'll you do if you win?”
“Huh? Uh... well...”
“You said yesterday. You wanna chill all day, eat pizza and chicken you couldn't before, binge anime and sleep. Can't you do that without winning?”
“Uh... uh...”
The furrowed brow from anxiety and pressure eased. She brushed the dust off her pants and stood.
“Let's end this.”
“Huh?”
“You guys always say that instead of 'we gotta win.'”
I extended my hand to Ray.
“Let's go have fun. Isn't that enough?”
Our eyes met. Ray grabbed my hand, stood, and nodded.
“Right. Just go have fun, yeah?”
“Have fun and snag the win? Even better.”
“Agreed!”
I pulled Ray out of the gloomy corner and led her to the waiting room. Then I spilled my real motive.
“And the prize money all goes to me?”
“Whaaat? We didn't agree on that!!”
“You're just gonna binge anime all day anyway. If we win, I wanna do something. Oh, don't worry. I'll buy all the snacks for that day.”
“No way. No. Prize money gets split fair.”
We headed casually to the waiting room as Ray asked.
“So what do you wanna do, oppa?”
“Pay off debt.”
“De... debt?”
“Gotta pay it back.”
I scratched my chin. I'd dropped out of college to become an idol. They don't wipe your tuition before that. And no way my family covered it. Obvious.
“Got student loans. Gotta pay 'em.”
“Ahh. Oppa lives in reality too, huh.”
“All-in was a joke.”
“I know. You'd never split it anyway... but suddenly debt-coming out? We're the same, right?”
I knew what she meant without saying it. Agency settlements. We're drowning in debt.
The joke meant to lighten the burden had unintentionally made the mood heavier. The moment Ray grabbed and turned the Black Label waiting room doorknob, the heavy air lightened up.
“Umhahhaha! I'm baaack!”
“Hey, you punk! Where the hell were you? No makeup yet.”
“Yup. Don't need it, still cute~.”
“Talking crazy. Hurry and get ready.”
Ray spoke to Jeong Hye-soo like always.
“Unnie?”
“Huh?”
“Did you have a smooth one?”
Ray patted her belly triumphantly.
“Kweeeh, feels great.”
“For real!!! Don't say weird stuff! They're filming everything!”
Jeong Hye-soo lunged at the giggling assistant director.
“Delete it, please, director. Please, just this once. I'm an idol.”
Knock knock.
Another director entered. Shim Yoo-jung opened the door and strode in with a refreshed face.
“We need to draw stage orders now. Time to head to the stage...”
Thaw period. Won Ji-min, who'd been subtly icy, shot her hand up and replied.
“Yes, got it!”
Then she said to Black Label.
“Shall we go?”
***
Tok. Tok. Tok.
DigDagg's Yoo Yeon-ha poked her knee, staring ahead. It wasn't just her hands shaking. Her feet tapped the floor too.
This was crucial. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say this draw decided the winner.
Yoo Yeon-ha glanced at the gathered performers. Everyone wanted 1 or 4, but DigDagg was different. Any vague order was fine. They wanted behind Black Label.
They needed time to strategize. If Jang Hana took the last slot, that'd be best—no contest.
Joo Seong-hwan stepped to center stage under the solo spotlight and shouted to the packed arena.
“Alright, we'll now draw the stage orders!”
His booming voice drew roaring applause. The audience, split subtly by fandoms.
Joo Seong-hwan checked the script.
“This draw might make players sensitive, knowingly or not, so we'll call in order of total stage points so far.”
He explained the simple rule.
“Stage points are the sum of judge scores, live audience scores, and online scores from all performances up to the finals. First up: Kickkick Band, then Black Label.”
Joo Seong-hwan met each team's eyes as he listed.
“Third: Kim Won-sam, last: Jang Hana player.”
Yoo Yeon-ha bit her lip. She'd wanted last, but they were making her draw last. Like, just take whatever's left.
Joo Seong-hwan called Kickkick Band.
“Kickkick Band, one member up to draw.”
Leader Choi Jung stepped up. Facing the camera-blackened box, she flashed a bright smile that quickly crumpled.
“Choi Jung drew. Numbers on the ball. So, Choi Jung got... number 2. Second stage.”
One of two landmines gone. One left.
Joo Seong-hwan kept the pace brisk.
“Next, Black Label.”
Ray stood. She strode up confidently, drew a ball, and showed Joo Seong-hwan.
“Yes. Black Label's order is set. Black Label gets...?”