So Jealous
Compared to Sihyeon, dressed up like a kid straight out of a cooking manga, my outfit was as bare-bones as it got.
Just an apron so nothing would splash on me, and a pair of sanitary gloves in case anyone decided to nitpick about hygiene. That was the whole of it.
I'd been half-worried someone would call me out for dressing too casually, but that concern turned out to be completely unfounded.
The viewers' reactions were nothing short of explosive.
"Unnie, what's a milf?"
"It's a thing. You don't need to know, Sihyeon."
I ruffled her hair as I said it, and Sihyeon puffed out her cheeks in clear dissatisfaction. Apparently I wasn't the first adult to give her that kind of non-answer.
Well, of course. Why did she have to go and read something like that in the first place? Explaining it was awkward as hell.
Truth be told, the word itself wasn't that weird. As far as I knew, "milf" just meant a married woman—basically the same idea as a housewife. Something along those lines.
Someone in chat seemed to share that thought, too, jumping in to insist that milf wasn't a dirty word and that the kid was going to get the wrong idea.
"You guys weren't using it in the pure sense, though."
Still, by this point it was also true that the meaning of the word itself had gotten warped. Or more accurately, the image people had of married women had changed.
I couldn't remember exactly when it started, but milf—and the whole married-woman aesthetic—had somehow become code for a suspiciously stacked, ridiculously sexy type. The kind who couldn't keep her urges in check, so while her husband was at work she fooled around with her personal trainer, or licked her lips looking at some young guy.
"No, the milf you guys are talking about is that kind of milf. Isn't it? No? Don't you dare lie to me."
I sent Sihyeon a good distance away first, then laid out my thoughts on the whole milf thing—and this was the reaction I got. Everyone playing pure only when it suited them. I knew better. I could see right through those filthy little minds of yours. As a former guy, how could I not?
For the record, today's filming was being handled by Jaejun, Sihyeon's uncle and my editor. When Sihyeon said she wanted to do a stream like this while getting help with her vacation homework, he'd volunteered to shoot it himself right away.
He was watching me argue with the chat right now, letting out a small, awkward cough. Since I'd already drifted close to the camera while talking to the viewers, I figured I might as well ask him too.
"Editor, what do you think about milfs?"
"…Excuse me?"
"Between the chat and me, whose side do you think is right?"
Jaejun made a vaguely blank expression for a second, then collected himself and stammered out an answer.
"Kayak—Kayak-nim is right. Boss is right."
See? Even Jaejun, a currently active man in his prime, agreed with me. I was right.
The chat, however, still refused to go along with it.
"What pressure? I didn't do anything. Where are you gonna find a boss as nice as me? We get along great, you know?"
The second I said we got along, the chat started spamming about jealousy again, so I clicked my tongue and turned away. Seriously, keeping up with these people was exhausting.
"Okay, the seaweed's rehydrated, right?"
"Whoa."
The once-dry seaweed now showed off a sleek, glossy sheen. Sihyeon let out a small sound of wonder as she looked at it.
Today's menu was two dishes: spicy pork stir-fry and seaweed soup.
The pork stir-fry was just because Jaejun liked it, and the seaweed soup was because Sihyeon's grandmother's birthday was coming up soon. The way she said she wanted to learn it properly so she could cook it for her grandma on her birthday was almost too wholesome.
"We'll slice the beef into nice bite-sized pieces like this, mince the garlic, and maybe pre-chop the onion too?"
"Recipe? What recipe. You just throw the ingredients in, season it right, and that's cooking. Nothing hard about it."
Sihyeon, standing beside me, gave a small nod like that made perfect sense. The chat, meanwhile, was spamming messages that basically said is this okay? Viewers were the type to give unsolicited advice even when you were already doing fine, so I ignored them. The finished product would prove everything anyway.
"Scalpel."
I said it with the grand gravity of a doctor on a medical drama, and Sihyeon somehow understood instantly and handed me a spoon.
Today Sihyeon's role was strictly support. She was still young, her strength limited and her hands not fully grown, so putting a knife in them was a bit much.
The teacher who'd assigned the vacation homework probably hadn't meant for a kid to cook completely alone either. I'd already told her in advance that if she ever needed to cook later, she should leave the knife work to her uncle.
Right now the seaweed soup was already on the boil with water in, and I was working on the seasoning paste for the pork stir-fry. Gochujang, chili powder, soy sauce, cooking wine—that kind of stuff should do it.
Honestly, I used to follow recipes back in the day, but lately even that had gotten too annoying, so I just made things off the top of my head.
As long as it tasted good, that was all that mattered.
Plus, after bragging so hard to the viewers about how well I cooked, actually looking at a recipe while I did it would've been pretty uncool.
"Earlier you were begging me to marry you, and now I'm not good enough? No, it still tastes great even when I make it like this. You people don't know anything."
I mixed the seasoning paste with whatever ingredients came to mind and kept an eye on the chat.
"And the most important secret ingredient already went in, you know. Did any of you catch it?"
"Secret ingredient?"
Sihyeon rolled her eyes beside me like she had no idea there'd been one, and the viewers started making their own guesses.
"Whoever said 'did you spit in it' can leave… but someone did get it right. Yes, my sincerity went into it. How could it possibly taste bad? When the heart that thinks of the person eating it is in there, there's no way it wouldn't be delicious."
"Unnie, I know everything I need to know too."
"Ahem… looks like the seaweed soup is almost done."
Sihyeon whispered that beside me, and in my flustered embarrassment I hurriedly changed the subject.
Hot steam kept billowing up from the pot of seaweed soup. When I lifted the lid, a pretty decent-looking bowl of it greeted me.
I scooped up a spoonful and tasted it.
…Seemed fine?
Still, it might just have been my own palate, so I needed a control group. I blew on a spoonful and offered it to Sihyeon, then scooped another with some seaweed and held it out to Jaejun as well.
"For our hardworking editor too. Here."
"Oh no, Boss, I'll eat it myself—"
"Just take it already. My arm's gonna fall off."
After a brief hesitation, Jaejun accepted the soup with a reddened face and tasted it. Unlike with Sihyeon, I hadn't blown on it much since he was an adult—had it been too hot?
"It's good…."
He answered a moment later, lightly covering the corner of his mouth. There was enough sincerity in the reply that it didn't sound like a lie. Sihyeon shot me a bright thumbs-up too.
It suited my taste and everyone else said it was good, so the seaweed soup was a success. I triumphantly pushed the pot closer to the camera lens.
"See? Delicious, right? I told you I can cook—"
"Um…."
For a moment, I couldn't find anything to say.