A Scary Person
ASMR, huh. So that was what they meant by ASMR. The thing where you lean right up against a mic and make every kind of weird little sound imaginable.
I'd seen it a few times on Vtube. There'd been a whole craze for a while — the algorithm got completely overrun by ASMR, and even people who weren't ASMR Vtubers all uploaded a video of it at least once.
Mukbang streamers would deliberately press their mouths close to the mic while they ate, too. I could see the appeal of hearing those more realistic sounds, but personally, the stronger feeling was just… why does anyone like this?
I couldn't understand why anyone would go out of their way to seek this stuff out.
And that still held true. My opinion hadn't really changed since then.
The chat, though, was reacting pretty hard. Or maybe they were just saying yes to anything so I wouldn't end the stream.
"ASMR…? I've never done that even once."
I floated a mild refusal, but the viewers insisted it was fine.
I'd said I'd never done it, but that didn't mean I couldn't. If I was going to do it, of course I could do it. Taking that kind of money and then bailing would feel a little wrong, too. I just genuinely didn't understand why people listened to this stuff.
If I didn't know the reason, I could just go find out. First things first — figure out what ASMR actually was.
"ASMR… autonomous sensory, looks like some kind of English acronym. Meaning is… autonomous sensory meridian response…? That sounds a little dirty."
I watched a viewer who crossed the line get banned in real time, then kept digging.
"Hmm. It includes touch and sight too, but it's mainly an auditory thing — a psychological sense of calm or pleasure that comes from reacting to sound."
Okay, got it. Learning about a whole new field was actually pretty interesting, but some of the viewers were already annoyed by the whole process.
"I'm looking it up so I can do it properly for you. I'm gonna do it, so stop rushing me and wait."
After that, I went on Vtube and checked how the famous ASMR Vtubers actually filmed their videos.
The video the chat was cheering for was simple enough. The woman's face wasn't shown, but she had an incredible bust, wore a low-cut top, and whispered into the mic.
She'd bring her tongue right up against the microphone and flick it, grab a brush from somewhere and rub it back and forth, tap with her fingers then stroke. Whether she was deliberately breathing hard or not, those soft little hms and hnns of nasal sound came through the video raw.
Even as someone completely new to ASMR, the intent here was… pretty blatant. I was also surprised this wasn't marked 18+.
Looking at other videos, a lot of them were pretty suggestive too. Women in clothes that barely covered anything, licking their lips — and some videos required age verification, with full adult content warnings slapped on. From what people said, it was deliberate. They picked their audience and sold to it.
I could feel heat rushing to my face for some reason.
"I'm not doing anything like that. You guys are so filthy…."
Had that Chinese tycoon who'd dropped a million won on me been hoping for this kind of thing too?
As someone who understood men's psychology and desires inside and out, there was no way I didn't know what they were thinking. Though honestly, this was so obvious that even without being a former guy, anyone could figure it out.
Borrowing a phrase from the galleries — looking at Camilla, a walking embodiment of sex itself, how was anyone supposed to hold back?
Back in my prime, I'd stared at Camilla and imagined every kind of thing myself.
Anyway. Watching that video wrapped up the research.
"Looking at everyone else, their mics are all really good. Some people even have dedicated ASMR mics. Should be fine just doing it normally, right? Mine isn't that bad either… okay, I'll give it a shot."
Why was I getting nervous over something like this?
Maybe after about an hour of research, I actually wanted to do it well.
I deliberately turned the cam off. The viewers pushed back pretty hard, but I kept insisting it was for immersion, so they had no choice but to accept it.
Immersion was an excuse. I turned the cam off because I was embarrassed. The thought of making every weird sound into the mic the way I'd seen in those videos — and having the viewers watch me do it the whole time — felt a little ridiculous and a little mortifying.
Turning the cam off for the first time in a while did take a bit of the pressure off, though.
"I'm starting…?"
Watching everyone fail to hide their excitement only made me more nervous.
"I'm doing it…?"
I'd hesitated so much that people started pushing me to just get on with it.
Following what I'd learned earlier, I started by tapping the mic with my finger.
"Ah, was that too loud? Sorry, sorry."
I didn't know for sure, but I must have messed with something wrong. Maybe I'd been way too casual about touching the mic.
This time I was more careful, gently brushing the mic. Taking the earlier mistake as a lesson, I lightly scratched the tip of the mic with just my fingertip.
This time it seemed okay. I still wasn't sure if I was doing it right, but the chat's reaction was decent, so a little confidence crept in.
After that I made clicking sounds with my mouth and played around with little trills. Making mouth sounds and blowing air seemed to get taken in a dirty way by the viewers, so I stopped that pretty quick.
Something I'd learned from the research: ASMR Vtubers didn't just use their hands and mouths. People who made ASMR their main content even had dedicated tools just for making sounds.
Since this was a last-minute improvised stream, I hadn't prepared anything. But that didn't mean I had nothing to work with.
Shhk, shhhk, shhk—
The sound of fabric brushing against itself got a sharp reaction from the chat.
"The answer was a tissue… Everyone has tissues next to their computer, right? You thought it was panties? Too bad… you're out…."
Since it was an ASMR stream, I was deliberately whispering everything. Getting immersed in it like this was actually fun in its own way. Every little thing I did got an instant reaction from people.
Blub blub.
Right now I was blowing air through a straw into the water I'd been drinking, making bubbles.
"…Hey. Did you subscribe to Kayak's Vtube? What…? You didn't?"
Blub blub again.
I made the sound like dunking someone under water and pulling them back up. Building a little scenario like a skit — the viewers were eating it up.
"That's right… Noona is a very scary person… Be good from now on, okay…?"
And so, whispering into the mic, I kept the ASMR going.