The Logic of Love and the Fox’s Confession
How can one define the love of the world’s greatest sex friend? The process usually goes like this: you grow closer because you like each other, and eventually, one of you confesses and you start dating. You go to the movies together, stop by cafes, and feel that simple joy of just being in each other’s company. That is the "flower-field scenario" that is easy to imagine. The popular, rose-tinted version of romance. But true love hides behind that.
For most people, just a few months after they start dating, the excitement fades, and things go limp without any major emotional fluctuations. The repetitive days and the weekend dates you drag your exhausted body to become tedious. You hit a burnout phase where you’re so tired of the mannerisms that even exchanging messages feels like a chore. At worst, you start treating intimacy as nothing more than a routine process to confirm each other’s obligations. I hated that. No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't understand how that could be something done out of mutual affection. Forced meetings. Forced happiness. A forced relationship. Even if I were to receive a proposal or get married like that, I wondered what kind of love it would even be. It was a fake happiness designed to avoid hurting each other under the name of "affection." A waste of life, pointlessly squandered. I hated the idea of being a byproduct of a nightmare, stuck in a relationship because I couldn't find the right moment to get off the ride.
I found it so terrifying that I took a different approach.
"Sorry. Let's end it here. ♡"
"I'd like you to stop contacting me now, okay?"
"Hmm~ because I'm bored?"
The moment I felt things dragging on, I pulled out. Even if the atmosphere was quite good, if the guy tried to go even a little bit deeper, I slipped away like a loach. Looking back, I hadn't been dating; I had just been enjoying brief impulses. This might be hard to understand, but since I’ve lived my whole life this way from a certain point on, this became my normal, my default setting. That is Joo Yeoeun. I already have everything I need, so there’s no reason to be desperate for a partner. Therefore, I believed my view on "dating"—picking only the delicious parts—wasn't wrong.
……Or so I thought, but:
“Umm… hey….”
I was disappointed by his reaction. No, honestly, I was slightly pissed off. 'Ugh… I gathered all my courage to say that, so what is with that stupid face of yours?!' It was a reaction that made me angry. When I told him I liked him, he asked "Huh?" as if he had no idea, and then he made that idiotic face, looking troubled about how to respond. Honestly, this guy was the best in this field. He was the absolute best at being frustrating enough to make someone else’s heart burn with impatience.
Thump-thump, thump-thump! Even with that annoying frustration, I felt incredibly nervous and excited. With this man in front of me—who seemed like a bad fit yet fit perfectly—my emotions were resonating like crazy. I’d felt it before, but the more I met him, the more I drifted away from the realm of reason where I usually calculated things coldly in my head. A tremor I couldn't even understand myself occurred in front of this man. I’d met men who were better looking, had bodies like sculptures, or had it all, but this was completely different.
Tight! I couldn't explain the reason. I was just trembling like a fool, unable to control myself. Since this was something I was experiencing for the first time at thirty, the true "feeling of liking someone" was the pinnacle of illogic.
“I… don’t understand.”
At those words, Yeoeun looked openly disappointed. Her flushed face now looked like it was about to explode because she couldn't hold back her anger.
“What on earth!?”
“Whoa!?”
I almost stepped back at her shout. I flinched, shaking my shoulders up and down, then quickly bared my teeth in a smile to smooth things over.
“No, no! I’m grateful for you saying you like me! I liked it a lot!”
“…….”
I read the room and rubbed my chin. “……But you’ve been acting like that because you liked me?”
She liked me, so she messed around; she liked me, so she let her eyes wander; she liked me, so she ruined the mood. Honestly, it was a realm that was hard to understand right away.
“…I suppose that could be true.”
At this, Yeoeun narrowed her eyes. She still looked displeased, but perhaps she understood my lack of understanding, because she let out a deep sigh and answered.
“Huff… yeah, to be more honest, it was because I was anxious.”
She ran her hands through her hair, which was perfectly styled, as if she were nervous, and gathered her thoughts. “It’s something I’m experiencing for the first time… something like this for me.”
“The first time? No, you’ve dated a ton, haven’t you?”
“……I don’t know if you know this, but my dating cycle is extremely short.”
I had heard that. She had confessed that she chose men easily and dated them. She even added that she couldn't last three months.
“I’d accept them if they met my standards, but if I got bored or didn't like them, I’d dump them without looking back. I’ve even blocked numbers after just one day of meeting. If I wanted to, I’d meet them, and if not, I’d just throw them away.”
“…….”
“It seems… the emotion I’d spent my whole life thinking was ‘liking someone’ was just a level of fleeting impulse. So, so you see?”
She let out a short breath. “So, every time I met you, I became anxious. It’s about time I got bored, so why am I not? Why is it still good even when we keep meeting? Is this really okay? Is it okay to keep going like this? Why did I end everything at this point before, but with you, it’s different…”
She poured it all out. She shouted with all her might, trying to grasp the emotions that were barely within reach, emotions she couldn't even control herself. “I don’t know, plain and simple! Why are you special? Even when I think about it myself, I have no idea.”
“…Yeoeun.”
“It’s really strange!”
As if she were frustrated, she stomped her feet hard enough to break her high heels. “Whenever you do something, you act so frustratingly, you’re full of mistakes, and you often make that stupid face, but I don’t hate it! Aside from that thing hanging between your legs, you’re lacking in many ways, but the fact that I’m starting to find that genuinely cute…!”
“…….”
I had a hard time keeping a straight face for a moment. I wondered if this was a genuine UFC-level diss. But it was well-conveyed. I understood that this was how she had been feeling all this time. I was relieved. Now I knew. Now I had finally found the focus to exchange words.
“But, that kind of emotion isn't exactly bad, is it?”
At this, heat rose to her face again. Yeoeun nodded as if agreeing with my words, and one of her hands aimlessly grabbed my casual suit jacket, pulling it taut.
“Of course it’s not bad…. That’s why I keep meeting you, and why I even pulled that stupid stunt in front of your friends, right?”
“And yet, you still don’t know what to do?”
“…….”
She nodded. Like a child being scolded, she gave a short flick of her chin. Even if she understood the emotions, she didn't know how to release them. Yeoeun, who usually seemed to catch on to everything so quickly, was wandering, unable to find an exit for her emotions.
Heh. That’s why I felt good. Because from my perspective, the answer to why Yeoeun was acting like this was clear. To put it briefly, Yeoeun’s state could be defined in one phrase.
“Isn't it just that you’re scared because it’s your first time?”
Startle! The moment she heard that, our eyes met. She jerked her head up, which had been hanging low, and looked at me. Tight…! She gripped the hand she was holding onto me even tighter, as if she had goosebumps on her arms. She opened her mouth in a circle, as if to say I had hit the nail on the head, giving her the advice she wanted to hear.
“……Yeah, that’s right. It’s just good when we’re together, but I’m scared of what will happen if we go any further.”
Personally, this sounded like a real confession to me. As she relayed the inner feelings she had kept like a pearl without any filtration, my heart felt full.
“That’s normal dating, but is normal dating that scary?”
“Because ‘normal’ was different for me…”
“You don’t have to be scared; there’s no problem with just keeping on going, is there? You can just keep acting on your emotions like you usually do.”
“…How can I do that when I have a whole life behind me? If anything, I’m just anxious because I feel like I’ve gone too far.”
She knew she was scared, but she was still anxious. From Yeoeun’s perspective, it seemed like she felt she was denying the life she had lived until now. To Yeoeun, who was agonizing like a teenager today, who looked as cute as a child today, I said:
“Let’s keep going.”
“H-huh? ……Hic!”
I hugged her. I wrapped my arms around her narrow shoulders as if to pull her into me, and pressed down on the back of her head. It was bold for me. But it was something that had to be done here.
“I like you too, Yeoeun.”
“!!! H-hey, wait a second—”
I hugged her and confessed that I liked her too. She struggled in response, but I held her tight so I wouldn't lose her, and left her there. It made no sense to begin with. We knew we liked each other, so the very idea of distancing ourselves or pulling back made no sense. So, I held this fox, who was trying to force herself away, tightly in my arms.
“I can’t say your appearance doesn't play a part, but I liked your unique, playful personality.”
“S-stop it, I’m—I’m embarrassed!”
“You were cool when you worked as an instructor at the academy, and I like your subtle, older-sister-like consideration when you look out for my position when I make mistakes, and your deep understanding.”
“You really!”
“And despite that, you have an unexpectedly impatient personality—huff… no, setting all that aside, after seeing you in that bikini, I didn't want to be just sex friends anymore. I liked that I was the only one who had you.”
“…….”
“I don’t need to pick a specific reason; I just like you more and more. I want to have you more and more. So—”
I pushed forward. With a cute side I didn't know I had, I grabbed the fox who was trying to drift away vaguely, and confessed, “Let’s keep going further.” I made sure to tell her again, clearly, that I liked her.
Eventually, Yeoeun went quiet. After struggling to her heart's content, she went still, as if admitting she had no intention of escaping anymore. Slide… And after being buried against me, she let her chest fall slightly. She lifted only her face, right under my chin.
“…….”
“…….”
She was completely flushed. Whether it was because blood was rushing through her entire body instead of just her face, even her collarbone, slightly revealed through her crooked blouse, was red. It was similar to the last confession. She found it harder to endure these heart-tickling words than explicit, naughty acts.
“Honey….”
Even so, she didn't seem to dislike this lead. Yeoeun didn't pull away, and instead, she wrapped her arms around my waist and answered shyly.
“Please… t-take care of me from now on too…♥”
Somehow, an honorific slipped out. Her eyes were looking up at me, dazed as if she were falling deep into something. Yeoeun had willingly accepted. She had answered, overcoming the trembling, unbearable embarrassment, and implicitly agreed to a relationship that would move forward in a new way. She was announcing that she would go beyond being just a sex friend who simply overlapped bodies.
Therefore, what I had to do was obvious. One action that resonated more than a hundred words exchanged by mouth.
Smack.
Our lips overlapped. Yeoeun stood on her tiptoes, and I lowered my head, and we overlapped like a puzzle piece that fit perfectly. Under a streetlamp in an alleyway where no one passed by. We overlapped, feeling the still-cold night wind and occasionally ignoring the distant sound of a dog barking. Even though I was in the middle of this scene, I thought it was beautiful. It was a passage where everything in the world becomes beautiful as we confirm each other's hearts. If this were a fairy tale, "And they lived happily ever after~" would be the perfect ending here.
“Mmm… smack, smacking- slurp…… haaa♥”
Well, naturally, since this is a romance between full-grown adults, it doesn't just contain such beauty. I couldn't hold back and immediately mixed my tongue with hers. Unable to control my excitement, I brazenly grabbed Yeoeun’s breasts and buttocks in the street, molesting her, and we rubbed our bodies together fiercely. An adult's kiss, vibrating with the smell of alcohol from the drinks we had just finished. My cock was rubbing against Yeoeun’s pants, horny and desperate to do it right now.
“Haa, haa… let’s go right now….”
“Yeah, I want to go right now…♥”
Even as we said we’d go, we kissed several more times. We mixed together under the streetlamp at a level that would be impossible to cover up if someone passed by. It was that good. Because of this, I would be able to call Yeoeun my girlfriend with pride from now on.
'Ha… the dopamine is exploding…!'
“Mmm, mmm… honey, you’re too excited…♥”
My girlfriend.