Chapter 29
Chapter 29
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Translator: uly
Chapter: 29
Chapter Title: Knight of Pure Love and the [10th Floor Gateway Trial]
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A message from a constellation I'd never seen before.
The mark of being chosen by a god—something only the top rankers could witness.
The moment it caught my eye, an ecstatic singing voice echoed from the distance.
"Exiiiiteeeeeeeyiiiiing!!!!!!!"
"!?"
Boom chick boom chick boom chick!
Along with the upbeat tune came an ironclad knight rattling like a teapot.
He shouted without a shred of restraint—frivolous to a fault for a knight.
"Puuuure looooove is the beeeeeest~~~!! Woo hahaha hahaha!!!!!!"
No clue what this was.
I couldn't make sense of the situation.
The knight, bathed in a single beam of light amid the pitch-black void, bellowed at me.
"You say it too! Pure love is the best!!!!"
He was a lunatic.
...
...Even as I sat there stunned, the racket didn't let up.
A massive door blocked the path smack in the middle of a decrepit stone bridge straight out of a ghost story.
Standing before it was the full-plate gatekeeper knight.
He shook his flashy red plume and hollered on.
"Ahh, how many days has it been since a challenger showed up? Not that long, surprisingly! The faces of the last ones have all blurred together since they got wrecked one after another... Fu haha! Bunch of gutless losers—really a pain! Hahaha hot!!"
He was thrilled.
Way too thrilled.
"Hmm hmm. New challenger~! Fresh connection~! Budding love in a strange land! Aha, I've waited so long for this day! Challengers barely show, so I've been starving—down to just three square meals a day~~~!!"
'Three meals? That's eating like a king.'
"Uhyo~! Pure love! Chastity belt! Pure love! Chastity belt!"
'Never thought he'd actually spout this garbage.'
He kept dancing, spinning circles around me as he closed in.
So agile, I had to wonder if he was really suited up in full armor.
"Come, challenger! I am the constellation [Knight of Pure Love]! Mid-manager of this tower and the cheat-blocker broker! Pleased to meet ya!"
"Ah, yes. Nice to meet you."
"Hohong~! What a meek voice! You'll come off like some basement-dwelling nerd! That limp vibe hands your foes all the openings! Hufu, to shield your darling girlfriend from villainous clutches, it's one part grit! Two parts grit! Three parts grit! Ride that momentum first! If some travesty like her getting snatched hits, lean on this body! I'll skewer both you and that fiend myself! Wahahaha!!!"
What the hell was this clown babbling about.
No idea why he was so chipper, what he was on about, or what any of it meant.
Now I got why Ceres said I'd understand once I met him. Total "meet 'em to believe it" type.
"But you being here means you're a challen~ger, yeah? Gotta be to prove that bond with your beloved, right!?"
"Yeah. Bond's secondary—I'm here to challenge."
"Wahahaha! Man with guts! Voice a tad soft, but you've earned props for guts to reach here! No whiff of leaning on rotten gear either! Hmm, plus 10 points!"
'What even are these points?'
Beats me.
Least in thestrategy I knew, no points factored in.
"Those rotten items you mentioned?"
"Chastity belts! Hmm, such insolent crap! Not even lovers' rough play—just slapping on those devilish contraptions forstrategy? Outrageous! Don't they get it? Only blonde-tanned couple-wrecking beasts can stomach such vile junk!! Hufat hat! On that note, you pass!"
No idea what "pass" meant, but that clanking was grating.
Always fidgeting noisily—a knight who couldn't stay put for a second.
"...Can't we skip straight to the trial?"
"Hmm~! No nooo~! Gotta treat a rare challenger to tea. Let's see your taste... burdock root? Health nut, eh!"
'How'd you know.'
The instant the creep factor hit, the scenery warped from his feet outward.
Kindergarten crayon flowers bobbed about, unfolding a soft, pretty pastel vista.
Suddenly I was seated, the Knight of Pure Love offering tea from across the table.
"Drink up, challenger! Down it to recharge your essence—that's how you tackle the trials ahead! I spiked yours special to top off your semen reserves, so chug with joy! Wat hahaha!!!"
'Why the hospitality.'
No clue why, but I drank.
Burdock tea.
Unnecessarily good, too.
Vitality restore wasn't BS—my groin went heavy right away.
"Hmm. Up close like this, those burns and all—you've got stories, huh. Hmm hmm. Snuuup... this tender aroma... scent of a bond forged from major aid...! Uhyo, I looove this~! Love blooming from guilt? Obvious yet irresistible—I just wanna nudge 'em together~!"
"I haven't the foggiest what you're yapping about."
"But if it stalls, they panic~! Just confess and date already, but nah—draggin' the plot with contrived setups, main leads on-off forever! Love that trope!"
What in the world.
"Even the self-styled bad girl bit! Own screw-ups snowball to irreversible, bawling solo! Ohohooook~! Tooling the beloved while sniffling guilt? Adorbs! Love's gonna buuuurst~!"
"........."
"Huff huff, ahh bliss. Love's whiff never fails! Sweet-salty one day, coffee-bitter next, sewage funk sometimes—but you keep sniffing!"
'This dude ain't conversing. Just monologuing.'
Whatever tickled him pink, he rambled solo some ten minutes.
I tuned him out, sipping tea.
Figured he'd peter out eventually. Sure enough.
"Been ages since anyone humored this body's tales so patiently! Gotta be a believer, right!?"
"...Believer of what?"
"What else! Pure Love Faith, duh! Holy creed reveling in gutting blonde thug bellies and yanking entrails!"
'Casually nightmare fuel.'
Never bowed to NTR worship, so I nodded vaguely.
"Knew it~! Hufufu... Fitting a top-tier challenger. Trusted that lover bond enough to risk life climbing here!"
"Least I'm not planning to fail. Came to clear."
"Ohora~! Cocky! How long you been at it?"
"One day. Hit yesterday; today's maiden challenge."
"Wild! 10th floor in a day? Ah, FYI—solos barred from trial. Know that?"
"Yup."
"Figures! You stink of romance—not solo material...!"
Truth? Chicken-shit me got fedstrategy tips locally.
Confident she and I could clear safe.
Elsewise, zero interest in this death-trap bridge.
"Hmm hmm. Prime believer. Few Qs. Woman type?"
"Build?"
"Personality, whatever! Spill the sexy bits!"
"Hmm."
Tits first.
Busty glory.
Gestured with both hands.
"Hoo, rack huh. Vanilla pick."
"Anyone drop weirdos?"
"One swore girlfriend's foot funk topped all."
Aw, gross.
"Eh, love's love! I affirm even that... So, what if your girl's flat? Fake love?"
"Nah. Mine's stacked."
"Not literal. Suppose. Sexual prefs clash with her bod? Still true love?"
Ah, gotcha.
Noped hard.
"No. Taste and love separate. Dudes crush on fave porn stars yet keep side chicks."
"Sexual prefs and love distinct? But folks chase mates matching their kink. Big-tit fan like you? Hunts busty usually."
"Point taken. But flipside—if I dated stacked girl, true love? Nah, lust-driven."
"Oh~! Clapback!!"
Knight lost it.
Waist-wagging like a bitch in heat.
Creepy.
"No perfect score, but I dig it! Plus 30!"
'Criteria wtf.'
Anyway, thrilled I stroked his ego.
Simple. Irksome. Hilarious constellation.
"This trial? Peak relationship-ruiner scum! Self-titled Pure Love seat, but trial I shouldn't touch! Took it gladly! True flesh bond? You'll breeze it-!!"
Trial deets? Check.
Scenery snapped back—hulking door loomed on the rickety bridge.
"Pre-trial Q time~! Fire away, comrade~!"
No clue on the bro status, but timely curiosity.
"Failed dudes—any dames among 'em?"
"Why ask?"
"One corpse means prior climbers all croaked—no signs tho."
-Brigita noona's intel.
"Sole reason?"
Push it: this too.
"En route, clocked it. Unlike other towers, no kill-happy vibe."
Ceres' words.
Hunter botched ~40th, limped back wrecked.
Tower security tanked once.
I.e., survivors.
"So instant-death 10th flop? Nah."
"Hmm hmm. Perceptive."
O?
"Spot-on: drain guys' seed here, tanks laterstrategy. So 'sparing' 'em for now."
"Not life-ruining, right?"
"Wathaha! Nope! Clear trial, rescued! That's the gimmick~!"
Do good, lads freed?
Hyped.
"Sweet. Final Q. Trial kicks—no fleeing. Sure you know your lover cold?"
"Less 'know cold,' more 'she's quirky—spot instant.'"
"Cocky. Fair—some rode that tostrategy eve, flubbed by a hair."
Flub deets? Yup.
My girl—this land's prime udder—spilled.
"Pop it open. 10th awaits—gotta farm pals."
"Heh heh heh~! Hahaha!!! Ballsy challenger! Fine, you humored my yarn after ages—if flop, special treatment over the rest!"
"What treatment."
"Keh heh. Till 10th clear, my yak-buddy! Honor!"
Full day that manic jig and blather?
Fail? Over my dead body.
The gateway yawned open.
Lewd aroma billowed out.
Thick musk of flesh.
"Enter."
I masked my nerves and stepped forth to face the trial.