My Beef...
“Mmm… This is good. But why soy sauce egg, of all things? I prefer the Jeonju bibim style.”
The triangle kimbap he had practically extorted as his Bokchae. Park Su-hwan grumbled shamelessly, grains of rice stuck to the corner of his mouth.
Park Su-hwan, Lee Han-gyeol, and Kim Jeom-rye sat side by side, leaning against the alley wall. The hour was late enough that the grandmother beside the boy kept nodding off.
“Con man…”
Lee Han-gyeol glared at Park Su-hwan with resentful eyes.
“Hey.”
Park Su-hwan shot him a look and replied in the most shameless tone imaginable.
“You should count yourself lucky you ran into me.”
“…Why?”
“What shaman in this world accepts triangle kimbap as Bokchae? Under normal circumstances I’d have taken fifty thousand won.”
If Lee Han-gyeol hadn’t been a high-school boy struggling as a young head of household, if the kid hadn’t reminded him of his own miserable childhood…
Su-hwan would have snapped that filling his belly mattered more than his life, told him to scrape together money for a gas inspection somehow, and gone on his way.
Tch. Soft-hearted idiot…
He’d thought the fraudulent-shaman life had burned every last scrap of conscience and pity out of him. Turns out a warm little lump of feeling still lived in there after all.
I’m really too kind for my own good.
“Are you fishing for compliments?”
“Obviously. Smart kid.”
“…”
“Normally I wouldn’t do any of this—handing over cash and telling you how to dodge disaster. But what can I do? The General ordered me to help.”
To sell the lie completely, Park Su-hwan even dragged out the name of a General who didn’t exist.
“His disciple is about to starve and he still sticks his nose into other people’s business. Some General.”
“You’re allowed to talk about him like that?”
“Of course. Even gods get cursed out if they act up. Got it?”
Park Su-hwan glared as he answered. The logic only held inside his own head; if Choi Young-gam had overheard, the old man would have howled himself hoarse. Fortunately the old man wasn’t here, so Su-hwan had nothing to fear.
“Anyway, this is your luck too.”
“Luck?”
“Yeah. You piled up good deeds, so fortune came knocking. What? Why are your eyes that wide?”
“N-no, just… the idea that I have any luck at all is kind of amazing.”
“If you’d been a rotten little bastard I wouldn’t have helped.”
That much was pure truth. Hadn’t he basically stood by and watched Kwon Ha-seong and Kim Jin-woo die?
“But I haven’t exactly done anything good…”
“Living without hurting other people is a skill. ‘Even if you do nothing, you can still finish in the middle of the pack.’ Never heard that?”
“…”
The kid’s mouth was something else. That slick tongue made him sound exactly like a real shaman—and yet the faint reek of a con man never quite left.
Lee Han-gyeol sighed, voice drained of strength.
“Really… it’s true, right?”
“Don’t waste the money I gave you on anything stupid. Day after tomorrow. 8:48 p.m. You have to settle this before then.”
“I understand.”
“I warned you clearly.”
If the boy still ignored advice after this much help, that would simply be his fate.
“And keep your voice down. You’ll wake Grandma.”
“Yeees…”
Lee Han-gyeol nodded and muttered,
“If I just hang on, good days will come, right?”
“You really think so?”
The boy glanced at his dozing grandmother and hung his head with difficulty.
“You’ve still got someone to lean on, don’t you? When I was your age I had nobody.”
“Huh?”
Park Su-hwan spoke while remembering exactly where he had been at Lee Han-gyeol’s age.
“Mother to illness, father to an accident. One funeral after another until there was no one left.”
“Wh-what about relatives?”
“Raising some other family’s kid for free? Not easy. You’d have to be a saint.”
People could barely feed their own children. Who was going to spend money raising a stranger’s?
Even the orphanage wouldn’t take him—he was only a year or two from adulthood. And with his ruined leg, nobody would give him work either.
“But look at me now. Somehow I’m still scraping by, right?”
Of course, as a fake shaman he couldn’t claim the money was entirely clean. But so what? As long as he wasn’t wringing blood-tears from anyone, he personally considered it fine.
“You must have… had it really hard.”
“You know begging is competitive too?”
“Ah—no.”
“They told a little kid like me to go sit in the corner. Can you believe that?”
Even now the memory left him speechless. He sincerely hoped those bastards hadn’t died peacefully.
“…”
“Forget it.”
Park Su-hwan dusted himself off and stood.
“It’s already over. Grandma must be exhausted. Get her home.”
“Thank you so much.”
Lee Han-gyeol looked up at him. Unlike the first time they met, every trace of distrust had vanished from the boy’s eyes.
“Save the thanks for when you repay the loan. You didn’t forget where the shrine is, right? If you eat and run I’ll erase your life date on the spot, so keep that in mind.”
Park Su-hwan hated sappy atmospheres. He widened his eyes and delivered the threat with absolute seriousness.
“Yes. I saved it on my phone. I’ll definitely come.”
“Good. I’m off. Throw this away properly.”
He pressed the empty triangle-kimbap wrapper into the boy’s hand and was about to leave without a second thought when a forgotten detail surfaced.
“Ah. I gave you plenty, so buy something tasty today. I’ll allow that much.”
Without waiting for an answer, Park Su-hwan turned his back completely and walked away.
“Aigoooo—!”
The next morning Park Su-hwan wailed at the message from Jung Jin-hyuk.
So far, perfect. Absolutely perfect. The real disaster came next.
A bolt from the blue first thing in the morning.
This can’t be happening…
Park Su-hwan’s lips twitched as if in spasm.
That meat—the kind that flooded your mouth with savory richness the second it touched your tongue, that exploded with juices like fireworks the moment you bit down…
While he slept it had vanished like a mirage.
He let out a hollow laugh. He’d thought he was just spouting nonsense, but it had actually worked.
Did I somehow gain real spiritual power?
No—more importantly, he had been thinking just the other day that he wanted to visit that meat place again.
“Haah…”
If money weren’t an issue he would have gone alone… Tch.
But a single serving cost tens of thousands of won. A poor shaman like Park Su-hwan could never set foot in there on his own.
Money. Money. Money.
That damned money always held him by the ankle.
“I’m fine with it! Why didn’t anyone ask me first…!”
He couldn’t exactly text back now saying, “Actually it’s okay, let’s meet at the meat place.” Too much time had already passed since the message arrived.
“He did it out of good intentions, so I can’t even complain.”
Park Su-hwan pressed his throbbing forehead and shook his head hard.
Forget it. Already over. Thinking about it any longer would only give him a headache.
Right. Forget it. Forgetting was the correct choice.
“My beef…”
Yet even while he cleaned the shrine—
“My beef…”
Even while he ate—
“My beef…”
Even with a client sitting right in front of him for a reading, he could not stop thinking about the beef.
“Beef?”
The short-haired woman tilted her head. At her words Park Su-hwan snapped back to reality.
“Huh?”
“Didn’t you just say ‘beef’?”
In that instant his eyes sharpened and he snapped in a thoroughly irritated tone,
“Who said that! Young people these days already hearing things that aren’t there. Tch.”
“Ah… I’m sorry.”
She was certain she had heard “beef,” but he denied it so flatly she had no further argument. She simply apologized and let it drop.
“Hmph. More importantly—job change?”
Seizing control of the atmosphere was nothing to Park Su-hwan. He gave a light snort and refocused on the reading.
“Yes. The company I work at is fine, but… honestly I want to go somewhere better.”
“You know what a person has to understand first if they want to live well?”
“Uh, what is it?”
The woman leaned forward as if entranced, drawing close. Park Su-hwan dropped his voice low and whispered,
“Your place.”
“Pardon…?”
—Whap!
He snapped open a flashy fan and covered the lower half of his face. Above the fan his glittering eyes seemed to tighten around her throat.
“What do you mean…”
“I mean you need to know your place. Heaven already gave you a seat that matches your station—you ought to be grateful.”
He chewed over the words she had added earlier.
She hadn’t gotten in on pure skill; pure luck had carried her into that company. And now she wanted somewhere even better?
Hmph. Ridiculous greed.
“And you still can’t be satisfied? Excess greed invites disaster. You think what you’re holding is yours? Think again.”
“…”
“If you don’t want even what you have snatched away, you’d better sit quietly and keep your seat.”
“B-but! I want to go somewhere better so I can earn more, move house, travel… The benefits at my current company are decent, but the salary is a little… no, a lot short.”
“Then let me ask one thing.”
She swallowed hard and nodded.
“Y-yes. Anything.”
“Have you put in any real effort toward changing jobs?”
“Of course! I’ve stayed up all night writing resumes and going to interviews. The problem is I keep falling flat on my face every time.”
She rushed on.
“Now I’m worried the company might have found out. It absolutely can’t get around. Could you check whether they’ve noticed my attempts?”
“Writing a few resumes and wandering in and out of interview rooms counts as effort?”
“Then…”
“The filling is still the same and you’re only changing the wrapper. Who’s going to buy that?”
He folded the fan with a click and clicked his tongue, looking at her with pure pity.
The woman opened her mouth to protest the injustice of it—
“You should raise your own value first and then beg them to hire you. Tch.”
—but Park Su-hwan was one step faster.
“…”
Completely struck in the vitals, she clamped her mouth shut.
“Nothing changes if you just sit still.”
“You’re right…”
“Are you going to live like that stupid fox lying under a grapevine waiting for the grapes to fall into its mouth?”
“N-no. I hate that. Really.”
“Then move. Instead of coming here for a reading, bring a ladder and pick them, or shake the tree until they fall—do something so you can actually get the fruit in your hand.”
“Can I… can I really do it? My willpower has always been the problem.”
“Then just do it with willpower. What’s so hard?”
“…”
“Be grateful that a solution even exists. Do you have any idea how many things in this world collapse no matter how hard you thrash around?”
Under his stinging advice she hung her head.
“I’m sorry. I think I was being short-sighted.”
“That’s better. You look halfway decent now. Earlier you looked like a corpse.”
“…Thank you.”
In truth Park Su-hwan had only spouted the kind of obvious advice anyone could give.
People still left moved by his words purely because of his exceptional gift of gab.
Taking something ordinary, wrapping it in expensive glittering paper, and delivering it so it sounded profound—
Yes. Another fundamental of fraud wasn’t what you said. It was how you made the same words sound.
He had learned that years ago from a book titled How to Wrap Shit in Gold. The knowledge still helped him earn his living as a fraudulent shaman—five years after he’d read it.
“That enough?”
Park Su-hwan jerked his chin toward the door.
“The General’s getting bored.”
A clear invitation to leave. But the woman, already thoroughly enchanted, straightened her posture and opened her mouth.
“H-ha, just one more question, please?”
His throat was starting to hurt and he needed the bathroom.
“Even you think you’re being greedy, right? After paying a measly fifty thousand.”
Usually at this point people stood up rather than spend more money. Her reaction was unexpected.
Without hesitation she pulled two fifty-thousand-won bills from her wallet.
—Thud!
Two yellow cabbage leaves landed on the reading table.
Aigoo. A precious customer after all.
Park Su-hwan carefully hid the gleam in his eyes and cleared his throat.
Well, nothing for it then. The bathroom can wait.
“You showed sincerity, so the General says he has no choice.”
“I admit I was lacking, just as you said, Teacher. I’ll put in more effort. But like I mentioned earlier, I’m anxious the company might have noticed my job-hunting.”
If they had noticed, something would already have happened at the company.
Yet she hadn’t mentioned any such incident so far.
Park Su-hwan kept the thought to himself. Instead he put on a solemn expression and picked up the bells.
“Just this once.”
“Yes!! Thank you so much, Teacher!!”
He gave her one sideways glance, then gripped the fan in one hand and the bells in the other.
—Jingle! Jingle! Jingle!!!
“He comes, He comes. Generaaal.”
He rattled off nonsense she couldn’t understand. That, too, was part of the performance.
—Clack!
He set the bells down roughly and fixed her with a stare. He was just about to declare that the company still had no idea and she shouldn’t worry when—
Uh…?
His mouth suddenly began to itch like mad. Exactly the same as when he had casually read Jung Jin-ah’s fortune at the meat restaurant.
Why now again… Ugh.
Just like last time, the itch would not go away unless he spoke.
“But right now your company isn’t the problem.”
In the end he failed to hold back the words that wanted out and simply spat them.
“What?”
“There’s something in your belly. Like a pitch-black lump.”