009. Open Beta (7)
In my mid-twenties, if I were to write today's diary entry, it would have to start like this: 'Today, I came inside my childhood friend.'
If the homeroom teacher checked my diary, she might even give me a gold star for that shocking opening line from a good kid. If she'd ever worked as a book publicist, she'd probably scribble something like, 'Captivating from the first sentence. Couldn't put it down. —Some editor at Whatever Publishing.'
Anyway, it was a big deal. The average volume of sperm in one milliliter of semen from an adult male contains between 15 million and 200 million sperm, while there's only one egg. 'A hopeless battle.'
One ally to protect. Billions of enemies. To keep Shin Na-young's pussy—from her ovulation phase—from getting pregnant, it had to play tower defense against those billions of sperm charging in like the People's Army. If even one broke through, it would implant. Pregnancy. It'd contribute to boosting Korea's measly 0.7 birth rate and help national development, but that wouldn't be good for my life at all.
'Fuck, I'm screwed.'
I snapped out of it. When I'd shoved my dick into my childhood friend's tight pussy and kissed the entrance to her womb, I hadn't thought a thing. But after cumming, regret suddenly hit me. The price of that brief pleasure—if Shin Na-young got pregnant here, my youth would shift from a programmer's life to a father's.
'Ahh... I came in my childhood friend's womb.'
If her next period didn't come, my life was fucked. My brain churned like a broken engine.
'A baby... what should we name it?'
I dragged my limp body up from the bed. Pink blankets printed with cutesy characters that elementary kids would love, Shin Na-young's messy studio apartment—it all came into view. In the corner stood a half-empty green soju bottle she'd left behind.
'Baby... mom can't drink alcohol.'
It was nighttime. Sure, it had been evening when we started fucking, but now darkness had settled thickly, so heavy I couldn't see an inch ahead. Beside me lay naked Shin Na-young on her side. I could see her shoulder blades rising and falling.
—So now, our Na-young... is a mom?
The girl who'd once asked me for help with math problems had fallen asleep without even scraping out the cum inside her pussy. I clutched my head with both hands.
'Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.'
As I shifted, Shin Na-young twitched and woke up. Her bed was too narrow for two people to stretch out properly.
If she got pregnant, she'd raise it, no question. Up until shoving it in her pussy.
Yeah. Up until I thrust into her pussy, my mindset was pure alpha male. My dick had said:
—Fuck yeah! Shove it in first! Think later!
But now, only regret filled me. For a 20-something fresh out of school to knock up his girl without even a wedding? Social suicide. As Hermann Hesse said, for a new world to be born, the old one must perish first. The moment a kid popped out of the womb, my life would end up the same.
"Na-young. You up?"
"...Yeah."
She ran a hand through her tousled bob, sitting up. Then, the moment she saw me:
"Im Seong-u."
A cute triangular cat-ear headband on her head. Makeup still smudged. Cheeks flushed with a hint of despair. Black tank top with a heart-shaped hole punched through...
Shin Na-young had taken a creampie today, but she was still beautiful. With slightly puffy eyes, she scolded me.
"Why... why'd you cum inside?"
"You... you told me to."
Saying it out loud made me sound like an idiot. Who in the world cums inside just because their childhood friend says so? If she told me to kill myself, would I?
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Wh-what are we gonna do?"
"..."
"If I get pregnant..."
Her expression as she said that, staring at the blanket. The faint despair in her flush looked so pitiful today. The poor kitten sniffled, crawled over on all fours, and leaned against my chest. Her little lips trembled as she asked:
"Are you gonna make me abort?"
There was the morning-after pill, sure. But it wasn't foolproof... and the odds of Shin Na-young getting pregnant were plenty high.
—Thump thump.
Na-young leaned into my arms and pounded my pecs. I silently wrapped my arms around her back. Her small frame's heat, warmed under the blankets, enveloped me warmly.
"I told you not to cum inside midway."
"...Did you?"
"Yeah. Seong-u. I said, 'Master, could you please not creampie? Is that okay?'"
I stared at Na-young's face and gaped. Right. Her words hadn't been meant to rile up my dick. It was a genuine, chilling warning not to cum inside.
'This is why BDSM needs safe words.'
When a woman says 'No, ahh, nooo...♥,' is she saying 'I'm a masochist, so torment me even if I say no...!' or 'You fucking bastard, stop for real!!!'? You can't tell.
'Expensive lesson learned.'
The BDSM gallery bros weren't kidding when they said, 'Always set a safe word. It's basic manners.' There was a reason.
I stroked her head.
"No, Na-young. You should've made it really clear you meant no."
"Really clear? Like... 'gay gay' or something?"
"Sorry."
"Whatever. I seduced you first anyway..."
We fell silent like that. Shin Na-young got up with a teary expression. Her body heading to the shower. Slim build. Pale skin. Too precious to get pregnant right now... my childhood friend. Her back somehow looked sad.
I grabbed her wrist.
"Na-young."
"..."
"If—and I mean if—the pill doesn't work and you get pregnant anyway..."
My heart pounded.
"I'll take responsibility."
"..."
Then Shin Na-young staggered back to me without a word and buried her bob in my chest. Could she hear it? My heart thumping wildly.
"Seong-u."
She murmured from my arms. Her cat ears poked cutely between my biceps.
"Yeah...?"
"Your... your mom hates me a ton."
True. Mom treated Shin Na-young like a thieving stray cat trying to steal family property.
"...Still."
"..."
"Still, I'll handle it. Na-young."
I hugged her tighter. Sure, she'd seduced me first and basically begged, 'Creampie my womb!' but childbirth hurt like hell anyway. No matter who started it, I didn't want to bruise Shin Na-young's heart. Better to warm her with body heat than scold her now.
"...Ugh."
Was that the right thing to say? Shin Na-young clung harder to my back, rubbing her shampoo-scented head all over me until the smell filled the air.
"...Idiot."
A foolish day was slipping by.
......
Shin Na-young thought:
'Marriage, huh...'
She'd never really pondered it seriously. Pregnancy. Starting a family. It was surprisingly complicated. It'd inevitably mean facing the partner's parents and family, and if they married, there'd be a thorough calculation of who lost more.
'In that sense, I'm no catch.'
Na-young pressed her head deeper toward the sound of Im Seong-u's pounding heart. Like a kitten in its mama cat's arms. Or a fetus instinctively following a heartbeat.
Shin Na-young burrowed deeper into Im Seong-u's embrace. A dark desire crept into her mind.
'If I skip the pill here, I could beat Han Yu-ra in one shot.'
Han Yu-ra's huge tits didn't matter. What could she do? If Na-young got pregnant first and married, Han Yu-ra would just hold a bouquet with a miserable face.
And morning-after pills only worked for 72 hours post-creampie. Exactly three days. Drag it out for just three days... and she'd have the golden chance to monopolize Im Seong-u.
His words echoed in her head:
—I want to enjoy my private life too. A successful life, you know.
Her chest tightened. Winning like this wouldn't make Im Seong-u— the man she loved—happy.
Shin Na-young hated Han Yu-ra. She even resented Im Seong-u a little. But more than that, she wanted him happy. Would he be if she got pregnant now?
Love was obsession, and obsession was pain.
'Ugh...'
Truth be told, no need to feel sorry. They were both adults over twenty, sex-edded and all.
—'Creampie, c-can you not? Please...?'
And she hadn't bolted in panic either. If Im Seong-u had looked at her annoyed even a little, it would've hurt. Scared of losing to Han Yu-ra. She'd just handed her body over, blaming it on the man leading.
Shin Na-young clutched her confused heart and buried her face in her knees. Her chest was a mess. Just. Scolding herself hurt a bit, so she'd blurted it to Im Seong-u.
"Idiot. What if you actually came?"
"..."
Im Seong-u silently stroked her back. Tears welled up in Shin Na-young.
He'd raise it if born. No dodging responsibility.
"...Seong-u."
"Yeah?"
"I'm... not good wife material."
In the dead of night, Shin Na-young thought:
"I might just make you miserable."
"...Why?"
"You could find a better girl. Han Yu-ra alone is better than me..."
But she didn't want to let him go. Saying it sank her heart. Even after Han Yu-ra tormented him for a year, she was the more appealing marriage prospect.
Then—
—Schlick.
In the touching moment, Im Seong-u tugged her black tail. Na-young shuddered as her asshole clenched around the silver plug.
Too sudden; she couldn't even react.
"Hahh... fuck...♥"
And Im Seong-u, this idiot—
"Oh."
"..."
"You cussing turns me on too."
That was all he said.
"You're crazy? Seriously?"
"But you're sexy. So don't say stuff like that. Na-young."
"..."
"You're precious."
That one line set her heart pounding again. He gently stroked her head.
'Idiot...'
She hadn't thought seriously about marriage till now. But if she wanted to marry Im Seong-u... she'd have to become worthy.
"Seong-u."
"...Yeah?"
"I'll go to the clinic tomorrow. If I'm not pregnant, let's try starting a business."
Of course, entrepreneurship wasn't child's play.
"Not something huge. Just... start small with some dev work."
Im Seong-u's mouth flattened into a line. Probably his business experience talking. He'd want to dissuade her. Knowing that path wasn't easy.
Still, Shin Na-young decided.
'His parents would obviously prefer Han Yu-ra.'
Yeah. One ran a company worth over 10 billion won; the other scraped by in a studio with nothing. Who was more appealing was obvious.
But she hated losing.
'I was born poor.'
Endured all sorts of humiliations. Dragging her father—who never said a kind word—to the hospital in his wheelchair, other kids stared with pity. That's how she became someone who felt no shame. To survive, you had to chip away at your own emotions. Couldn't even dream big.
But she wanted to marry Im Seong-u.
"I wanna get rich too, Seong-u."
"...Then I'll help."
"No. Don't."
"Still, you need the basics, right?"
"...Yeah?"
Na-young smiled faintly. Beside her was always her childhood friend, ready to help. Just that warmed her chest.
'Someday...'
Someday, she wanted to have him. All to herself.