008. Tribulations (2)
Yoon Se-hee's school days were quiet. If I were to delve into an internal narrative about her profound psyche, it could fill pages, but when it came to external events, there was nothing worth mentioning. That was how passive her personality was.
"The quiet kid." That was the relentless label slapped on Yoon Se-hee from her school days onward. Sure, it was extreme, but she did well in her studies, so the teachers just let it slide. They were getting paid anyway—no need to micromanage a student who caused no trouble. Plus... don't the studious types in anime tend to be the quiet ones? Her grades matched her character archetype perfectly, so no one around her thought to interfere.
Her parents didn't discourage it either. They were the type who figured it was fine for a girl to be a bit taciturn. Especially her father. "Aaaah! That's right! Quiet and demure—perfect!" From a Freudian perspective, Yoon Se-hee's mind could be seen as one that had internalized parental suppression in childhood as love and adapted to it fully. Her school life wasn't tragic so much as serene. When kids talked to her, she'd respond with an awkward smile, but anything beyond three minutes of conversation left her with overwhelming discomfort.
And now. The woman who had lived over twenty years like this faced the greatest challenge of her life right before her eyes.
"Th-this... this is just handing out flyers."
Tension disorder gripped Yoon Se-hee, but she didn't yield. Talking to strangers was a massive hurdle, but she refused to back down. She had resolved to resist.
"I-I'm going to change."
Even in college, she hadn't changed.
"Se-hee-ya. What do you want to eat, Se-hee?"
"We should hear Se-hee's opinion too!"
"Unnie, Se-hee says anything's fine!"
"Uh..."
Her "Uh..." meant "Actually, I'm craving Korean food over pasta!" But language is a social construct, isn't it? "Uh..." held no real meaning in the sophisticated system of communication. So Yoon Se-hee's non-verbal cues were thoroughly ignored.
"Se-hee must be super shy."
"Yeah, right?"
"By the way, Se-hee-ya. Why'd you turn down Senior Su-ho last time?"
"Wait, you really rejected him? Or did you just run away?"
"Unnie! Running away is still rejecting... Pfft..."
"Uh..."
That meant... "Oppa Su-ho's face is fucking ugly." Yoon Se-hee wanted to say it but couldn't. Of course, it was better left unsaid anyway. Her communication disorder had turned into an unexpected win.
Anyway, ever since starting work with Im Seong-u, she had keenly felt the need to communicate.
"Seong-u-ssi! There's an error here! An error!"
"...I'll fix it."
"Seriously, are you really a programmer from a four-year university? You always just say you can't..."
While Kim A-ram piled karma on Im Seong-u, Yoon Se-hee resisted fiercely. In her mind only.
"No! Seong-u-ssi did nothing wrong!"
In Yoon Se-hee's imagination, she was a legendary swordmaster wielding Lichtenauer-style swordsmanship atop a massive muscular steed. She... at least in her fantasies, could stylishly dispatch Kim A-ram and Im Su-yeon and rescue Im Seong-u. Though impossible in reality.
"Th-that... um, I..."
"What is it, Se-hee-ssi?"
"Uh..." (Treating Im Seong-u-ssi like that is wrong!)
"Se-hee-ssi doesn't like it either, huh? Seong-u-ssi. Haha. Knew it."
"Ah, no!"
"Ah, so you don't like him?"
What could she do? Talking to people was pure agony, and she'd never experienced bullying firsthand, yet it terrified her all the same. Just conversing made her heart pound, the room's walls closing in. That was Yoon Se-hee's heavenly curse—it wouldn't fix itself overnight.
But she couldn't surrender to fate forever. Yoon Se-hee steeled herself.
"Pl-please watch me!"
She squeezed her eyes shut.
"Watch me change!"
You can do it! Yoon Se-hee!
Challenge. Hope. Courage.
She chanted the spell in her heart.
Spread your wings and fly! Into the skies! Like Railroad Software's game server files!
"Watch me!"
As Yoon Se-hee's emotions surged, her body responded to her expectations.
"P-please... watch me!"
Yoon Se-hee suddenly shouted. She snapped back to reality like that.
Why do those moments happen? When a ridiculous thought hits and you snort, only for long-haired girls to glare at you like you've lost your mind as they pass by. Even natural-born social butterflies would scratch their heads and bail—what chance did Yoon Se-hee have?
"Shi...!"
Her face flushed beet red.
"...t!"
Other people's gazes. Stares. Scrutiny. All the things Yoon Se-hee had feared her entire life now stabbed into her like daggers. Her skin prickled as if pierced by needles, and she froze solid.
"Wh-what do I do?!"
The less people talked, the more they overthought others' minds.
"You're fucked!"
Inside the massive gaming event hall, Yoon Se-hee's mental defenses crumbled. Imagining everyone's stares arbitrarily...
"Now you're branded the weird girl forever! Got it? Got it?!"
Yoon Se-hee just wanted to go home and play Elden Ring. But reality wasn't a game you could log out of at will.
That was when it happened. A middle-aged man approached the fragile Yoon Se-hee.
"Oh, look over there! She's asking us to watch her!"
A chubby YouTuber uncle in hiking gear waddled toward her, selfie stick in hand. Yoon Se-hee couldn't tear her eyes from the camera on it. Action cam on his shoulder. Selfie stick and camera in hand. Like a game boss, he had everything needed to broadcast her pathetic state worldwide anytime.
She felt primal terror.
"Eek... O-oh..."
Yoon Se-hee screamed internally.
"Otaku!"
Of course, she was an otaku too—one who hadn't even joined online communities, spending all four college years holed up reading manga and gaming. But still, Yoon Se-hee was petrified.
"O-oh, I'm gonna say hi to this pretty part-timer! Hello! Nallkha~"
Broadcast banter, but it gave Yoon Se-hee goosebumps all over. She couldn't even meet his eyes, dropping her gaze immediately. Staring at his shoes, her hand trembled clutching the flyer.
"H-hello... R-Rai... Railroad Soft... ware..."
"Oh, so this is Railroad Software! You guys made Sepiros Online, right? Right?"
His overwhelming energy made Yoon Se-hee's heart thump like it would burst from her chest.
"Save me."
She shot a pleading look at Kim A-ram. But Kim A-ram was too busy coding. A mix of grievances exploded in Yoon Se-hee's chest.
"Haven't heard much since the last devlog for Sepiros Online. How's it going these days?"
The man asked, genuinely curious as a fan. Im Seong-u's resignation had cut the devlogs short. But Yoon Se-hee couldn't answer. It was impossible.
"I-I'll intro... the game..."
"Help me! Su-yeon-ssi! A-ram-ssi!!"
Yoon Se-hee was half-broken. She kept side-eyeing where Kim A-ram and Im Su-yeon sat. But they offered no help.
"Sepiros Online is... a collectible... on... online MMO... RPG!"
"Um, isn't that not an MMORPG?"
Yoon Se-hee's heart stopped.
"Just let it slide!!! Fuck!!!"
She gritted her teeth and said,
"Col-collectible RPG... mobile... heuk..."
"You okay? S-sorry. Should I end the stream?"
"He's a decent guy inside."
As Yoon Se-hee tried to respond amid extreme claustrophobia and anxiety—
"Huh...?"
Her eyes caught the man's stream screen. Not the best angle, but his phone screen looked huge today.
Text that shouldn't have been visible gutted Yoon Se-hee's heart mercilessly.
"Ah,"
Time froze for her. Her heart raced like a COVID vaccine side effect patient, her mind blank as elementary school drawing paper.
"People think I'm weird..."
High school memories resurfaced. Second-year school trip talent show. The mood suddenly turned, forcing Yoon Se-hee to dance.
"Yoon Se-hee! Dance!"
"Dance! Dance! Dance! Dance!"
"Whoa, Yoon Se-hee knows idol choreo?"
"Is she a secret fan?"
"Kono yaro! Odore! Odoreee!"
"No, no! No! Nonononono!!!"
It felt just like that. They'd curse her for not meeting expectations. She'd suffer unwanted attention for three months, then get labeled a loser.
"What's with her? Weird."
"Ugh, just liven the mood. Even random dancing would've worked."
"Yeah. Too lacking in confidence."
The high school kids didn't hate her. But to Yoon Se-hee, it triggered PTSD.
"Uh... uuu..."
Yoon Se-hee snapped.
⋯
"Waaaaaah!"
"Ha... fuck. What the hell is this."
Kim A-ram, earbuds in while coding, frowned at the sound from outside. Im Su-yeon, who had snuck in to play mobile games, gave her a look like go check it out.
"Fucking bitch..."
But what could Kim A-ram do? If she had to go, she went.
"Wh-what the...?"
The scene was a disaster. Yoon Se-hee had dropped all the flyers, sitting like a tragic heroine sobbing her eyes out. And the man in front of her...
"...Huh."
The legendary YouTuber with 100k subs from game reviews: [DarkSoulsScholarLovesItMarine]. One of Korea's second-gen YouTubers, infamous for his cringey "Nallkha~" greeting devoid of charm or emotion.
And what was Yoon Se-hee doing in front of this influencer?
"We're fucked."
He even had a live stream going. Meaning her meltdown was spreading nationwide.
"A-ram-ssi. Anything that happens at the event is your responsibility. Don't let problems arise."
"Uh..."
"Um... Su-yeon-ssi? Big trouble."
"...Yeah."
Im Su-yeon stood slowly, then scurried off like a squirrel grabbing smokes—like a Chinese kid in a senior-year group project.
Kim A-ram's vision went dark.
"What do I do in a situation like this?"
Im Seong-u. What would that guy do?
"Se-hee-ssi. You don't want to talk to people, right?"
"Ah, ah, uh..."
"Don't want to? Got it. Go rest inside. We'll do other tasks."
"Thank you..."
While Han Yu-ra tanked outside, Im Seong-u truly acted as the staff's control center.
"Su-yeon-ssi, help me move the table."
"Me? Why?"
"Sigh... Should I do it with the CEO then? A-ram-ssi, just help."
"Can't Seong-u-ssi even lift this? With that build? Sigh... Fine, I'll help. Ungh! So... heavy!"
Kim A-ram unearthed another humiliating memory and scowled. She clenched her teeth.
"Acting all high and mighty...!"
I can handle that much too!
Kim A-ram marched forward, fists balled. The 100k-sub YouTuber [DarkSoulsScholarLovesItMarine] eyed her in bewilderment and panic. Event staff did too.
"Excuse me... Is the person in charge here?"
"That's me."
"100k people are watching...!"
Planner Kim A-ram sighed.
"Seriously... in the end, all this is..."
She instinctively blamed someone else, as usual. A normal person might blame themselves or fate, but not her.
"Han Yu-ra's fault. Shouldn't have hired staff like this!"
Solid point. But she alone was oblivious that she was the prime example.
Anyway, she was in a rush now. Time to show control and quick thinking to turn this around.
"Hello!"
"..."
All eyes locked on Kim A-ram.
"Today..." we present the tearful ass show. "Actually, today... one of our staff had something awful happen! Sorry for the inconvenience!"
"...Huh?"
Yoon Se-hee gawked at her.
"Actually... today, Se-hee-ssi's mom... sob! Passed away!"
"?"
"Se-hee-ssi... I'm sorry! Go home early!"
Kim A-ram killed Yoon Se-hee's parents in front of 100k viewers.