006. Temptation (7)
“By any chance... did you sleep with Shin Na-young?”
Her heart pounded. It was incredibly hard to take back the words she'd just let slip. So Han Yu-ra regretted it.
Why did I...?
There were times like this in life. When a question you'd been harboring all day burst out without any filter. When the pressure crushing your chest made it hard to breathe, only releasing in that one moment of tension snapping. This was that moment.
No, have I lost my mind? Han Yu-ra?
The Han Yu-ra who had lived as a CEO was accustomed to blaming herself. If an employee messed up, it was her responsibility. If luck wasn't on their side, it was her responsibility. Even when she couldn't hold back the tension with the open beta just two weeks away, it was ultimately all on her. That was the feeling of being the head of a small company. The company was her, and she was the company. When employees wouldn't take responsibility, she had to shoulder it alone. That was the position she was in.
So once again, she blamed herself.
Ugh... I was too hasty. What do I do about this atmosphere now?
In truth, what Yu-ra wanted to say was this: Ever since she caught the scent of Shin Na-young's shampoo in his car by chance. Ever since then, while eating with him, while chewing on that steak, while swallowing it down her throat—she hadn't been able to hold back.
She wanted to press him. What exactly was his relationship with Shin Na-young?
Of course, she knew she had no right to ask.
If we did sleep together, then what? What would I even do?
Even as she questioned herself, no answer came. She just felt possessed by something, desperately wanting Im Seong-u to hold her right then and there.
Han Yu-ra bit her lip hard.
I was impulsive. Han Yu-ra. Impulsive.
She wanted to tear her hair out.
I ruined it. I ruined today.
Lying there on the bed. Im Seong-u's gaze, looking utterly unconcerned, fell on Yu-ra's cheek. It was just a casual glance. Yet that indifferent look made her heart thump wildly.
I'm... going to be abandoned.
Right now, she wanted to cling to his arm. And pretend none of this had happened. Even if he treated her like a tool all through the dawn, that would be fine—as long as, please...
I... don't want anything else from you.
She didn't want anything special. She just wished he'd tell her. That he loved her. That Shin Na-young wasn't even worth a second glance. That she alone was his slave.
Seducing you was because I was anxious.
She was anxious that Shin Na-young might steal him away. Her emotions had surged ahead, leading to rough, direct words. Words that should have passed through her lips at the right time and place had exploded out raw with feeling.
Han Yu-ra clenched her teeth. Her self-esteem screamed in childish protest.
Is my body that cheap? Can't I even ask a question like this?
She felt like she might cry.
I was your first.
Indignation welled up. She wanted some emotional compensation, even a little. Warm words, comfort—the things she hadn't given Im Seong-u. Even she thought it was shameless. But she prayed desperately.
Seong-u. If there's anything you want, I want to give it to you, no matter what.
Han Yu-ra felt guilt. Unlike with Kim A-ram, she had her wits about her, so she remembered exactly how she'd treated Im Seong-u. At first, it had been like that. Willing to atone with her body. Let him torment her until he was satisfied. But then it changed. The moment she smelled Shin Na-young's perfume. The moment she saw Im Seong-u leaving the company with Shin Na-young for drinks. Han Yu-ra had grown intensely anxious. Nothing had stuck in her mind. For two whole days, she couldn't think of anything but seducing him.
“I'm sorry, Seong-u.”
“...”
“I'm really selfish.”
Yu-ra felt like crying but held it back. That was something only truly selfish people did. This was just a momentary emotion. Besides, to advance her relationship with Im Seong-u, she'd have to wait at least a year anyway.
“You don't have to answer. Your private life...”
—I won't interfere with it at all. Those words wouldn't come out. She just couldn't bring herself to say that one thing.
—Don't abandon me.
Regret and longing mixed together. Why had she treated him that way from the start? What if she'd coded alongside him during those late nights? What if she'd taken his side instead of Kim A-ram's, acknowledged him more? She was anxious that her imperfect self would be exposed. Feeling wretched, Han Yu-ra tried to lift her hips away.
“I... tomorrow, because of the company, I should go first...”
“Sit. Yu-ra.”
Im Seong-u grabbed her wrist and forcibly pulled her into his embrace. Han Yu-ra felt herself crumbling.
Seong-u, do you know?
It was warm.
Your arms are so warm.
The embrace of the man she'd hated so much, the man who had hated her—it was unbearably warm. That fact infuriated and embittered her. At her body's honesty. At her own weakness.
Im Seong-u stroked her hair as he spoke. Yu-ra thought his emotions were hard to read.
“Are you curious... Yu-ra?”
“...”
“If I slept with her.”
...
Han Yu-ra's sudden question. He'd known something like this would come eventually. But when it actually hit, it choked him.
Wow.
Fish tank. This was a fish tank.
Damn... Never thought I'd empathize with fish tank guys in my life.
That I'd end up in this position.
The faint guilt he felt now was defined by societal norms. Monogamy. The rule that a person should only be with one partner strangled his thinking. Humans were too jealous for polyamory. Concubines killing wives, wives stabbing husbands—it was all too common in Arab regions. Society had buried polyamory for a reason.
So this relationship was twisted from the start.
He knew it rationally. To live a proper life, he should have refused when Han Yu-ra offered herself sexually. He should have watched her company fail. That would have been the right path. But he hadn't chosen it.
So I redefined the relationship.
A female he could fuck whenever he wanted. That was enough, and that's how it started. So he could just push forward shamelessly. Hadn't he told her repeatedly? We're just a pure sex thing. You have no right to interfere with who I fuck. I actually kind of dislike you.
But those words wouldn't come.
I...
He wanted to see her tears. And at the same time, he didn't.
He had to ignore her feelings outright, but her expression made him understand instantly.
Is what you're feeling for me love, or just possessiveness?
“...”
When he pulled her wrist, Han Yu-ra meekly rested her shoulder against his body. Then she trembled faintly. Words could be sharp enough to sever their relationship. Even without hostility toward him, even if it was pure curiosity.
Actually, revenge on you would be simple.
There was one straightforward, certain way. Doing it would probably tear his own heart to shreds too. He might live like a wreck for weeks. But it would put him and Han Yu-ra in the same boat. Make her eye every other man suspiciously for life, unable to feel true love. That would be intensely painful. For her, and for him. But wasn't their relationship wrong from the beginning?
He gripped her breast.
“Eut...”
Practically naked. Fresh from the shower, wrapped only in a bathrobe, her body gave off a soft, moist scent. Yu-ra twisted her thighs but didn't try to flee from him. No, she couldn't.
“Seong-u...”
I like it when you apologize. I want to see you hurt. I want to see you suffer.
And at the same time, he hoped she wouldn't be hurt.
Your dream is beautiful. While everyone else at uni just played around, you alone worked to make your dream real. I want to see it come true.
He was twisted. Too twisted to call normal anymore. He knew that. It was a fact he'd hammered home during his year as a corporate slave.
He told her.
“Where do you think you're going on your own?”
“S-Sorry... Master.”
Yu-ra swallowed hard. With a slightly teary face, she bowed her head. Words were scary. In such an ambiguous relationship, even a small discomfort could ruin everything.
He told her.
“I'll ask again. Are you curious if I slept with Shin Na-young?”
He nibbled her ear. Then whispered against her temple.
“If you lie, you'll be punished.”
“I'm sorry...”
A heated breath leaked from Yu-ra's lips. The body was stupidly honest. Even bound and caressed by a stranger, cock stands and pussy wets. The only condition: if the other person was attractive. That's why the ancients called the body base. It moved completely against one's will.
“...Yes, I'm curious.”
Yu-ra answered with trembling eyes.
“...I know I shouldn't be in this kind of relationship with you, Master...”
Then she buried her face in his chest. Her white shoulder trembled faintly in his arms.
“I know... but it made me so jealous...”
“...”
“Thinking she might take you away.”
It was impulse. Too immature for love, too pure for obsession. He told her.
“I didn't.”
“...”
Yu-ra's trembling stopped for a moment. As if she hadn't expected a real answer.
“Yu-ra. Do you know what feelings I have for you?”
Han Yu-ra looked up at him. A tender sigh escaped her lips. His fingertips tingled with warm air.
“You treated me harshly for a whole year.”
“Ugh...”
“Throwing file binders at me, not acknowledging me even after overtime. Didn't it ever occur to you that favoring Kim A-ram's politics made you unfit as CEO?”
“I-I was wrong... Master...”
Yu-ra crumbled. From this angle, her buried face was hidden, but imagining her wounded expression was easy. Han Yu-ra was weak. Not as strong as she had been a year ago. Maybe her time as a strong CEO had reached its limit.
He stroked her hair and told her.
“It would have been better if you were just a bad person. Like Kim A-ram. Then I could have hated you freely.”
To quit a small company voluntarily and get unemployment benefits, two conditions had to be met. First, enrollment in the four major insurances. Second, the CEO acknowledging it as a 'recommended resignation.' Small company CEOs naturally never did. They didn't pay the benefits themselves, but acknowledging it penalized them in mid-sized business support programs or IR pitches. Fatal for startups. But Han Yu-ra had acknowledged it.
It was unexpected.
Of course, unemployment benefits meant nothing to him now. Nor did the severance she gave. But her attitude had been too unexpected. Why had she done it? She could have skirted labor laws easily. The situation was ambiguous enough he might not even sue.
CEO pride? Or lingering feelings?
“And there were memories too. Remember?”
She wasn't inherently bad. Back in college starting the business. She was always by his side, and they'd talked a lot. Excitedly ranting about how ugly the elves in Elder Scrolls were. Following her into Dead Cells and panicking over the dot graphics. Dying over and over in Elden Ring until he got better. Her smiles never left his mind. Even when exploited at Railroad Software, he hadn't realized.
“So, seeing you makes me so angry.”
“...Ugh.”
It would have been better if Han Yu-ra had committed a criminal offense against him. If she'd hit him, sexually humiliated him, done Kim A-ram's deeds. Then he wouldn't have felt a shred of affection. If she'd tormented him for five years instead of one, he'd have stabbed her right away. Not with his cock, like now.
But...
That didn't mean her wounds didn't hurt. Mental scars could hurt worse than physical ones sometimes.
After 2015, corporal punishment vanished from Korean military.
The Ministry of National Defense was too slow. Only after soldiers suicided did they act. But due to administrative hassle? Korean units banned violence under public scrutiny. Now, complaints of lax discipline, soldiers on smartphones—but the military ran fine. What did that mean?
Mental torment alone can run society.
Physical punishment wasn't needed from the start. In modern states, flogging and extreme tortures vanished. Proof that social pressure and sanctions sufficed. Psychologically, pressure was efficient coercion. Like what Han Yu-ra did to him for a year.
“You know? I hate myself for liking you even a little. It makes me feel pathetic.”
He hated the him that liked her. Hated the him that liked her, and the her that liked him. His head had forgiven already. Forgetting was more profitable. But rage rose from his chest, uncontrollable.
“Every one of your actions was a wound.”
From not acknowledging him, to throwing binders—uncouth acts. No physical harm, but violence all the same.
“So, Yu-ra.”
“...Yeah.”
“Let's hurt.”
He embraced her. His heart wasn't light. But he felt like he couldn't shake the negativity otherwise.
“Just for one year.”
He continued.
“You hurt as much as I did.”
His emotions were ambiguous. He hadn't lived in cruelty enough for extreme revenge.
“I suffered because of love. Just as you're suffering now because you like me, I suffered because I loved Sepiros Online.”
“...”
“And you agreed, right? That the mental pain I endured matches your emotional and physical pain.”
“...Yeah.”
“So endure it.”
That was what he wanted to say. It would solidify their relationship now.
“Take your punishment. Then we'll talk.”
Yu-ra's lips moved faintly. The arms around him tightened. Yes. That was affirmation.
Yu-ra added her final words.
“...Master.”