Coding Heaven, Planning Hell (1)
Kim A-ram walked. And walked some more. With every step, the asphalt seemed to rush up to her face. It was her first all-nighter ever, and she had no idea how brutal sleep deprivation could be.
"Hic...!"
Kim A-ram suddenly started sobbing right there on the street. She looked like a madwoman. She was too drained to feel much emotion, but the sorrow clawed its way up her throat anyway. And that hurt.
Kim A-ram had never really suffered in her life. Her dad paid her college tuition, so she'd never even had a part-time job. Meals were always laid out on the table by her mom. The most stress she'd ever felt was staying up until 3 a.m. on a group project after her teammates bailed. So yeah, after two and a half straight nights of crunching, no wonder she was wrecked. A programmer's life, buried under deadlines, was beyond what she could handle.
Her body and mind in ruins, Kim A-ram thought:
Im Seong-u... you fucking bastard...!
Of course, humans don't magically wise up after one hardship. In that sense, Kim A-ram was perfectly human.
She repeated to herself:
This is all... that bastard's fault...!
With her exhausted, foggy brain, she tried to figure out why everything was Im Seong-u's fault. But she couldn't find a single logical thread. It was like searching for a needle in a sand dune—at least that had a slim chance. No, this was like inventing a lost item from thin air. So she just created new logic.
Fuck it. It's all Im Seong-u's fault, period.
She punched in the code for her studio apartment on instinct, stumbled inside, and collapsed onto the bed. She reeked, but she didn't have the energy for a shower. Clutching the blanket, Kim A-ram sobbed.
Coding... is too hard.
Coding was hard. Like a towering wall. Even though their company was making what the staff dismissed as an "idle game," a monetized mobile game was insanely complex. Just the database tables they had to manage numbered in the dozens: authentication info, user rankings, inventories, types of collectible waifus, items equipped on each waifu, drop rates for each one (customized per gacha pack), user receipts, battle results, battle logs... Linking it all organically was the server engineer's job.
Kim A-ram clutched her head. She just wanted to sleep, but her mind wouldn't let go of the problems. The pressure was crushing her.
"Hic... If I can't do this..."
She gripped the blanket and sobbed. Lawsuit. Those two heavy words stabbed at her chest. A faint pang of guilt hit her—something like a Neanderthal evolving into a Homo sapien.
I wrecked all the hard work Im Seong-u put in.
Regret bubbled up in her heart. Why had she deleted the server files that day? So stupid. She started imagining alternatives.
What if I'd acted differently back then?
But it took less than a minute to dismiss that rosy what-if as meaningless. Ending her daydream, she buried her face in the blanket.
"Hic... Forgive me... Please forgive me..."
Sleep came crashing over her. Utterly pathetic. Hitting rock bottom and total failure in her mid-twenties felt brutally humiliating. With no immunity built up, the damage hit extra hard.
"Hic... Sniff... Hnngh... Grk..."
Kim A-ram made weird noises as she burrowed into the blanket. That's when it hit her—one warm thing Im Seong-u had said.
"You've worked hard."
Two and a half nights of all-nighters had filled her body with nothing but poison. But why? Why did that hated Im Seong-u's words melt her heart like this? Maybe he'd carried this same pain. Maybe he'd craved those words too. Crunching on "unavoidable" deadlines for "necessary" work, pulling "overtime" like it was normal. Just like she was now. Maybe people were all similar deep down, just in different situations.
A surprisingly mature thought pierced her mind—one not at all like Kim A-ram. But humans don't change that easily. A little angel and a little devil started warring in her head.
The little angel in her heart said:
You fucked up. Go apologize to Im Seong-u right now! You pathetic bitch! If your brain's too dumb, kneel or spread your legs or whatever! Who knows, maybe one fuck and he'll forgive you!
But there was a little devil too. It yapped:
Fuck that. It's all Im Seong-u's fault. Don't bullshit me. Kill them all! Plant a bomb at the company! Blow it sky-high and go out in style! Yeah! I'm on a highway to hell, bitch~
"Ugh..."
Kim A-ram groaned and fell asleep. Dreamless, process-free sleep. After two days of overwork, dawn might as well not exist. It felt like "sleep" vanished, leaving only "wake up."
She'd barely registered sleeping for one minute when morning sunlight hit her.
Fuck.
Time to go to work. Hang in there, Kim A-ram. A bright tomorrow awaits you!
...
The next day, freshly showered and fluffy, Kim A-ram dragged herself to the office.
If I fuck this up, it's lawsuit city. Gotta minimize the damages somehow...
Her heart pounded wildly. Stress-induced tension. But Kim A-ram could still think rationally.
The code I made isn't finished. It's crude, just the bare-bones basics.
Still, if she could produce something, it'd cut the payout, she figured. With that thought, she opened the office door.
People stared, then looked away like she was a bug. Her heart raced like mad. She'd never been ostracized in her life. At most, she'd passively joined in or watched. She swallowed hard.
...This sucks.
"Good morning."
"..."
No one answered. She'd expected it, but today those gazes crushed her. She'd always seen herself as confident and assertive. But stone-cold sober, this hurt bad.
Being loved by those around you...
It's more precious than I thought. She'd figured the company was just for the paycheck, that people's words meant nothing. But the soul is cruel—now she craved even the smallest affection she'd taken for granted.
Kim A-ram felt her shoulders hunch and her head droop without realizing it. She'd never known indifference and zero expectations could hurt this much. And the work was hard too.
This isn't even stuff for a fresh college grad dev...
How was she supposed to do this alone? She glanced at Im Seong-u's profile. Cleaner than during crunch time, sharp jawline—he looked like a handsome unemployed model.
"You've worked hard."
What had he felt saying that? Maybe he'd worked through this same misery. A job where no matter how hard you tried, you got contempt and dismissal. How bleak must life be, held together by duty alone?
Ugh...
As she stared, Im Seong-u shot her a curt glance. Some jumble of emotions surged—guilt, regret, hate, jealousy. She couldn't speak. She turned back to her monitor.
"...A-ram."
Then Im Seong-u spoke. Her heart went berserk. Now a "director," how would he tear into her? Pure dread.
"...What?"
Her tone was rude as hell, but he replied like a saint.
"If you don't know something, ask. Talk to Na-young for client stuff too."
Ah...
Kim A-ram crumbled. Humans are like that—even someone you hate looks like the sky when they throw you a lifeline in a pinch.
But if she were smart enough to swallow her pride, she never would've deleted those files. Face flushing beet red, she stared at her monitor like a sulky kid.
"Doubt that'll happen, Developer Im Seong-u."
Dumbasses go out of their way to suffer.
...
Shin Na-young. Im Seong-u took up a big chunk of her life.
When she'd timidly shared her dream at the hospital admin desk, no one truly cheered her on.
"Ha, programmer? You?"
"You can't even do math."
Most of those "unnie"s hated change. They wanted Na-young chained to the job forever like them—clubbing, drinking, bitching daily, sharing pain and joy, hazing newbies. All they offered was mockery.
If not for you, I couldn't have done this.
Scraping by on mid-20s pay while covering family bills, attending coding bootcamps, self-studying YouTube lectures—it was reckless investment. Without Im Seong-u's hand every time she got stuck, she wouldn't be here now. That's why Kim A-ram's attitude pissed her off.
"Doubt that'll happen, Developer Im Seong-u."
Why did it bother her? He wasn't her husband or boyfriend. Just someone who'd congratulate her on a new guy. But insults to him felt personal.
Back in my day...
You got hazed by the [unnie]s at the hospital, did group exercises too... Yeah? You wouldn't know, huh? Business major? That's not [group life]...
Kim A-ram seemed so green. Couldn't take a hit to her pride, couldn't tell mercy from mockery. Classic newbie vibes—Na-young smacked her lips.
Give me six months, I could fix her.
People like that get reformed in six months at hospital admin. A human forge. Straighten up, master "social life" and "group life," reborn as company material.
Na-young couldn't hold back and stood.
"Kim A-ram."
"..."
Kim A-ram stared like a startled rabbit. Na-young knew: she'd call her "unnie" now.
"Honestly, didn't you have a big hand in that server deletion mess? Im Seong-u Director gave you a chance to fix it. Why aren't you using proper titles?"
Declaration of war. Kim A-ram trembled, Han Yu-ra watched intently, Im Su-yeon peeped excitedly. Yoon Se-hee hid in the corner.
But Kim A-ram had grit. With her parents groveling at the office, she had nothing left to lose.
"He's still a developer, isn't he?"
"A-ram. In a company, we call people by position, not role."
"Who are you to teach me social skills?"
D-DAY 24.
Na-young's temper flared. Nothing worse than an incompetent junior climbing.
At the hospital, I'd have slapped her. So frustrating.
But then, watching Im Seong-u "Director" spoke.
"...Hold up. No time to fight now?"
Ah...
That lazy "let's just solve it" vibe. So damn cool. Na-young swallowed. His skin glowed without crunch/overtime, posture fixed in a month—regal. Usually just a subordinate, but leading now? Hot. Her rigid, hierarchical hospital background made it stand out more.
"A-ram."
"...Yeah."
"Na-young's your mentor from now on."
"Huh...?"
"Treat her as senior, higher position."
"W-why do you... Developer—Director decide that?!"
Her guts went thud~ rumble~ Na-young gasped in awe.
This is management. This is social life. This is true seniority. This is a proper company. Yesss...
High on group life vibes, Na-young straightened up. Im Seong-u asked Han Yu-ra.
"CEO Han, you approve?"
Deep in thought, Han Yu-ra nodded vaguely.
"CEO approves too."
"..."
Na-young put a hand on Kim A-ram's shoulder.
"Unnie."
"..."
"Let's do well. I'll teach you what I know..."
Hospital admin nightmares crashed over Kim A-ram. Na-young stifled a laugh and sat.
Seong-u...
She side-eyed him working quietly. How was he so cool? She respected Han Yu-ra—running this company at her age with billion-won investment was no joke. As a woman, impressive.
But Im Seong-u now? Surgeon-level leadership. Handling subs, resolving conflicts—more leader than Han Yu-ra?
Damn...
She recalled the distant past.
"Seong-u."
"Yeah...?"
"You ever think about dating?"
Snowy winter day. High school sophomore. Peak deadly winter break for college entrance exams. Why'd she say that? Her heart still raced remembering.
But he said:
"Nah, gotta study."
Always like that. You never get hints unless direct.
Tense, Na-young texted him. Always mustering courage was tough, but worth it.
Why am I like this?
Gonna date now? She didn't rate herself high. He was director in a year, amazing. She? Apprentice programmer. Knew he saw her platonically. Factory girl Na-young. Hospital admin job-hopping Na-young. Non-CS bootcamp Na-young. Always needing comfort, guidance.
...
Melancholy hit; she texted Im Seong-u.
She loved him, but part of her wanted rejection. Low self-esteem said she didn't match him. Could they stay friends forever?
Plus, he seemed close to CEO Han Yu-ra. Woman's intuition: sparks there. Unfair world. Han had huge tits, red hair, money. Na-young's plain, petite frame made her feel like pathetic "Flatty Na-young" next to those boobs.
Yu-ra's way hotter...
Open beta in 24 days. No reason he'd drink with her objectively.
But his reply? Totally unexpected.
Sure sure.
Just two letters, and Na-young was ecstatic Na-young ecstatic Na-young.