002. This is Fucked! ~Despair Arc~ (1)
'I... did it.'
Han Yu-ra thought. What exactly had she done? She'd had sex. Her hymen was gone since yesterday, and the traces from last night still lingered.
Im Seong-u didn't seem to notice that far. The moment Han Yu-ra grasped the reality, she clutched her burning face and dry-washed it.
'Ah... I did it.'
She'd gone and done it. Even after climbing onto the bed, she'd ended up getting fucked on the floor. It wasn't lovemaking between people. She'd been treated like an animal.
'...That crazy bastard.'
Yesterday, swept up in the mood, even Han Yu-ra had called Im Seong-u "Master." Thinking back made her face flush even hotter. Her cheeks, burning with unbearable shame, were nearly as red as her hair.
She writhed in humiliation.
'...Ugh. Damn alcohol, my eternal enemy.'
Why the hell had she suggested it? Even after sex like that, there was no guarantee Im Seong-u would keep his promise. Should she threaten him? But somehow, she didn't think he'd go back on his word.
—Yura. You need to be punished.
'Im Seong-u must have really suffered.'
She could tell after chatting with one or two programmers. How grueling his work had been. That thought made her chest tighten.
What had she done to a guy like that? She'd just chucked file folders at him, sided with Kim A-ram, and didn't give a damn if he pulled all-nighters. Hell, she'd even fired him herself later on.
'...Shouldn't I be the one feeling wronged?'
Of course, that crossed her mind too. Fair enough—Im Seong-u had taken her virginity. But oddly, she didn't feel like dying over it.
Han Yu-ra's mindset was that of a businesswoman. She had confidence she could leverage her own value as a woman to some extent. Of course, it might be easier to accept because the other party was Im Seong-u.
If it had been anyone else... could she have gotten drunk, boldly approached, and made that offer?
She recalled the old days.
—Making games, huh? Impressive.
—Haha, what is?
—Just... I don't know, diving headfirst into something without being sure it'll make money. It's kinda cool.
—Seong-u.
—Yeah?
—You into games, by any chance?
Han Yu-ra remembered Im Seong-u being a little shy back then. If she kept taking her punishment, would that ease his mind a bit? She hoped it would make Im Seong-u feel even slightly better.
'...What are you thinking?'
Was he just stressing about the deadline? She gazed at his defenselessly sleeping form—his collarbone, chest muscles, broad shoulders.
He'd said back in middle school he'd tried to become a swimmer.
'So embarrassing...'
She recalled last night. Calling him "Master," crawling between his legs like a bitch in heat. Then gripping his cock with both hands like it was some precious treasure and sucking it devotedly. She remembered mimicking porn she'd seen once, shoving it deep enough to hit the back of her throat, then pulling it out because it was too much.
'I must've lost my mind.'
It felt a bit pathetic. But wasn't it her first time? Still, Im Seong-u had a lot pent up, so he'd been rough with her.
—Am I your boyfriend or something?
Those words had scratched deep into her pride—hell, gouged huge chunks out of it. To the point where she could never hold her head high in society again. He'd treated her in a way even street whores wouldn't get.
Thinking about it made her feel a little resentful. She'd given permission for anything, sure. But he'd actually gone and done anything. Wasn't that a bit much?
She puffed out her cheeks sullenly. No matter how much she hated herself, come on. Sex on the cold floor? Her knees and back had hurt yesterday.
But... just a tiny bit... she felt like some stress had lifted. The pleasure was incomparable to masturbation. Her first time had been so overwhelming, and it was just one night, but she couldn't even remember clearly.
Intense sex had its own merits, didn't it?
'What am I even thinking?'
She'd never had normal sex to begin with. Feeling excited about this was just a physiological reaction, nothing more. That's what Han Yu-ra told herself.
'God, this is... so embarrassing.'
Sunlight streamed in through the south-facing window of Im Seong-u's studio apartment. Being a rooftop unit, the natural light was excellent. That sunlight bathed her naked body without filter, highlighting its beautiful curves. It gilded her collarbone, trailed down her ribcage to her hips, making them glow.
That's right. She was naked.
'Ugh... idiot.'
She looked at Im Seong-u's face in the sunlight.
"...We weren't that bad of enemies," she murmured, barely audible.
But was that the trigger? Im Seong-u suddenly twitched.
'Eep...'
Flooded with massive shame, Han Yu-ra dove back under the covers, pretending to sleep.
'Anyway...'
Im Seong-u stirred slightly.
'Was he always like that...?'
Han Yu-ra wondered intensely. When had he turned into such a sadist?
⋯
I'm fucked.
I fucked Han Yu-ra last night. Thinking about it now, wasn't that something only someone with their brain ruled by dick would do?
What I'd done was clearly illegal.
'...My life's over.'
Korea is a democratic rule-of-law state. Unfortunately, no apocalypse yet, so the laws actually apply. Laws split into civil and criminal code, and what I did last night violated Criminal Code Article 283.
Today's fun fact!
—Anyone who threatens another person faces up to 3 years in prison, a fine up to 5 million won, detention, or a petty fine.
I don't think what I did was pure rape. From my side, it was closer to "drunken rape." But what would the court say? If they slapped on a rape charge riding the current social wave? The judge would probably hit me with around 10 years, right?
'Fucking laws are so vague.'
In the SM community, there were tons of tragedies like that. If a woman you'd agreed to play with suddenly claimed rape, the dominant (the "master" role) went straight to jail. The law was heavily against me.
'But...'
Still, last night had been fun. Shockingly so—my heart had raced hot while doing it. Training Han Yu-ra was that special.
'It felt good...'
I thought about the humiliation I'd endured for a year. Still vivid. Yesterday, Han Yu-ra under me used to chuck file folders (rudely) onto my desk like it was nothing. Kim A-ram would bitch and pick fights, Im Su-yeon would make snide faces. It was hellish.
But now I had justification to dominate them. If they didn't guarantee my authority to rule, I wouldn't work.
'Gotta tell that to Han Yu-ra.'
Domination. How good would it feel to seize the reins of the company that looked down on me and swing them wildly? The thought of "taming" the ones who'd only harmed me as "employees" made my heart pound. And terrified me.
Maybe I had criminal tendencies? That gap only excited me more.
I took a deep breath. What if I went to jail? What if I faced legal judgment? Those fears bubbled up, but...
I didn't want to give up this thrill.
I decided in my heart.
'Jail... yeah, it's scary, sure.'
But isn't modern society like that? The moment you brace for jail, you're truly free. With that mindset, nothing's impossible. A fearless man is a madman, and no one can stop a madman with mere means.
Nothing in the world could stop me. I had immense power.
I resolved.
'Fuck it, I'll do my time if I have to.'
I'd pay back that year's humiliation for sure. Not hitting back when hit wasn't my style, and that act had filled me with bizarre joy—I didn't want to stop.
'It's all life experience.'
Of course, anyone calling jail "life experience" was a total mess. But if I liquidated everything I had, I could at least hire a decent lawyer.
'Han Yu-ra...'
How to control you. She'd done something stupid. But she wasn't stupid. Circumstances had made her act like one.
The "real" Han Yu-ra was way smarter than this. Once open beta passed, she'd likely cut losses—even if not suing.
I mulled over all sorts of thoughts. Scary ones, then even scarier ones.
"Nngh..."
Han Yu-ra, asleep beside me, stretched her stiff body like a cat and sat up. Good thing it was spring. Naked under just a blanket wasn't too bad.
She looked around blankly and muttered.
"...We weren't that bad of enemies."
'Sleep-talking?'
But she'd clearly propped up her upper body. When I made a little noise, she dove back under the covers in shame... but I already knew she was awake.
'...No reason to be embarrassed.'
I'm her master. She'd said so yesterday, and at least until open beta ended in a month, Han Yu-ra crawling to me was impossible.
"Yura. I know you're awake."
I just got up and said it. Only then did she seem to remember her situation, shrinking with a "Hik!" and burrowing deeper under the blanket.
Seeing that made blood rush below again.
'Haa... damn.'
She's fucking gorgeous. If she hadn't made me her dog for a year.
Yesterday, I'd put her on the bed. Even after floor sex, pounding her hard on cold hardwood felt too abusive for sleeping.
I didn't plan to give back more than I'd gotten.
"S-Seong-u... you're awake...?"
Morning thing? She slipped into casual speech, but I let it slide. Sex relaxes the nerves, after all.
"..."
Han Yu-ra was embarrassed. If only I could play it cool, but as a human with shame, I felt awkward too.
'What the hell gave me the balls yesterday?'
—Downside of a big dick: Blood drains from the brain to the cock, losing reason.
Hearing her formal speech felt oddly good. Guess I'm human too.
"..."
I turned to look at Han Yu-ra's face. She'd pulled the blanket up to her eyes, peeking out at me. Below her eyes was already beet red.
Why be shy? We'd done it all yesterday. Being conscious of it now made my cock stir again. Morning wood didn't help.
'Haa...'
I'd decided to dominate her. No room for lovey feelings. But seeing her naked on a Saturday morning was pretty thrilling.
'No. I hate pure love.'
I steeled myself and called her.
"Yura."
"...Yeah?"
"Come here."