The Man I Want to Have

The chat room, which had been buzzing for a while, finally fell quiet as Kim Taeyang's messages stopped appearing. Mun Hee-jeong set her smartphone down and sat alone on her dormitory bed, hugging a cushion tight.

"Ahh... Why did I say that earlier..."

The embarrassing actions she'd ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠committed during the day refused to leave her mind.

'Don't touch Taeyang!'

Those words had burst out of her mouth unbidden while fighting the mid-grade wraith. Just minutes before that, she'd even grabbed Kim Taeyang's hand with both of hers.

Why on earth had she done something like that?

Kim Taeyang was just a classmate. She'd never felt any romantic feelings for him specifically.

"This is weird."

Of course, it was true that she felt strangely drawn to his face. Not only did it share features with the male protagonists from the comics she loved, but he was far more gentlemanly than any of them.

Mun Hee-jeong acknowledged that she was an otaku and worked hard to keep it hidden from those around her. But she'd never once thought her hobby was something shameful that went against societal norms. She was a woman who knew her boundaries.

She'd never projected her base desires onto a real person before, so she'd never felt guilty about it either.

Not until she'd met Kim Taeyang.

"I shouldn't be doing this..."

2D and 3D were worlds apart. So why was she constantly seeing echoes of all those blonde, tanned delinquent protagonists she'd admired in Kim Taeyang's face?

"This is doing him dirty."

Mun Hee-jeong scolded herself like that.

Staring at someone she didn't even have romantic feelings for with lust-filled eyes was absolutely not the right thing to do.

But the more that sense of taboo gnawed at her, the more dopamine her brain pumped out.

Her moral compass as a regular human living in the real world clashed relentlessly with the side of her that was a collector of age-restricted doujinshi obtained through shady proxy purchases, creating a dilemma that tormented her without mercy.

"Ah, no. Maybe it's not like that."

After rolling around on the bed in her dorky short-sleeved tee for a while, Mun Hee-jeong finally found a way to end the painful war raging in her head.

"Maybe... I actually like Taeyang for real."

Back when they were kids, in her brighter, more playful days, Seol Romi had said it: Relationships between men and women weren't rational things. Stuff like love at first sight, which otakus always ragged on for lacking plausibility, happened all the time in real life.

"Ugh. Nah, that doesn't feel right either."

But in less than three seconds, she realized she couldn't fool her conscience with such a flimsy excuse.

She'd never liked anyone to begin with. Sure, she enjoyed the depicted sex scenes in comics, but she prided herself on not being crazy enough to develop real feelings for printed characters.

Still, if that sudden hypothesis turned out true, it might ease the lingering guilt in her chest.

Imagining all sorts of things when picturing the face of someone you truly liked was surely a perfectly natural thing.

So the first thing she needed to do was obvious.

"Alright. It's decided."

Mun Hee-jeong pulled her face away from the cushion and clenched her fist.

If her heart raced just because of Kim Taeyang's blonde, tanned delinquent looks, then she shouldn't feel a thing when he showed up at school with his dyed-black hair and pale skin.

But if she really had awakened to romantic feelings like Seol Romi described—if her body heated up the same way even after seeing his changed appearance—

Then she could fantasize about that face during evenings without seeing him and feel no guilt about the pleasure it brought.

"I-I-if that happens..."

Mun Hee-jeong's face flushed crimson as she trailed off.

"Romi, what do I do..."

She clutched the keychain dangling from her smartphone and murmured. It was a hedgehog plush they'd stuffed with cotton picked from her parents' fields, sewn together on a machine—a memento full of memories.

How nice it would be if Seol Romi were here right now.

From childhood, she'd shared everything with Seol Romi without hiding a thing.

Until that incident, Seol Romi had been precocious yet full of mischief.

Even when Mun Hee-jeong had confided her dream of leaving for the city after middle school, Seol Romi had listened eagerly.

'Hee-jeong's ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠got big boobs and she's pretty, so guys won't leave you alone. I'll come with and protect you.'

Seol Romi always said that while groping her chest.

"Romi... doesn't lie."

Mun Hee-jeong glanced down at her own chest and muttered.

Back in the cafeteria when she'd spilled ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠shrimp, Kim Taeyang hadn't made it obvious, but he'd definitely looked.

He might act like a herbivore sometimes, but a man's instincts were clearly impossible to fight.

Mun Hee-jeong wasn't so innocent that she didn't know what boys her age were into.

She had more than enough knowledge in that area from comics—comics aimed squarely at young men, no less.

"I can do this too—"

If what Seol Romi said was true, she had two powerful weapons at her disposal.

She'd never dolled herself up properly like that ancestor spirit hanging around Kim Taeyang or Shin Sua with her weird mutterings in the clubroom, but she could still seize the advantage. She psyched herself up like that.

If she could confirm her feelings for Kim Taeyang were true love, not mere lust, then she wouldn't hesitate anymore.

"Just watch."

That night, Mun Hee-jeong made her vow.

Once the name of this emotion tormenting her was clear, she'd even pull out her hidden weapons if needed.

As she showered to cool her heated body from the fantasies, Mun Hee-jeong trembled under the water pressure and her guilt.

All the while, unbeknownst to her, a man and woman were howling like beasts in Kim Taeyang's apartment bedroom several kilometers away.

<Sua. Your brush has stopped.>

Shin Sua jolted in surprise at the voice of her ancestor spirit and forebear, Shin Yun-bok.

"My apologies..."

In the second-floor private studio of her mansion, Shin Sua had been painting.

The condition of the Genealogy Oath she'd sworn with Shin Yun-bok was simple: Every three days, she had to paint what was most precious to her and receive his critique.

-Schwick schwick.

Regaining her focus, Shin Sua finished her self-portrait with her usual skill.

<No hesitation in the brushstrokes. Excellent.>

"Thank you."

Shin Yun-bok patted his descendant's shoulder a couple times with a satisfied smile before vanishing into the soul thread bracelet. Only then did Shin Sua exhale deeply and relax her tense shoulders.

Outside, she acted arrogant as if she were royalty, but she still couldn't stand tall before Shin Yun-bok.

He was her ancestor spirit and her master in painting. That's why she revered him above all.

But with anyone else, it was different.

Shin Sua had studied imperial heir training under her father, the Goryeo Group chairman, since childhood.

The lesson that stuck with her most: As the only daughter of the Shin family, even defeated foes were mere pawns to place underfoot one day.

Uproot enemies you can crush, and turn those you can't into your subordinates.

Shin Sua had strived to live by that teaching.

The sole exception was Seol Romi—she'd wanted to beat her fair and square, without recruitment tactics.

But now, someone even more irritating had appeared.

"That bastard..."

Shin Sua recalled the terrorist attack from earlier that day.

And how Kim Taeyang had handled it.

He'd resolved the situation effortlessly alongside some club senior woman, as if he knew everything in advance.

If he'd been a direct descendant of Nostradamus—someone even her family barely acknowledged—it might have made sense.

But the background her butler had investigated painted Kim Taeyang as far below average Shangju level.

Poor orphanage kid. He'd even swapped out his ancestor spirit recently.

How could a guy like that perform on par with elite family Shangju?

"......"

Shin Sua decided not to overthink it.

The process didn't matter. Useful pawns were secured by any means.

Her father's teachings lived on vividly in her mind, and she'd followed them unquestioningly.

"Prepare my bath."

"It's ready."

Hearing her butler's reply from the shadows, Shin Sua headed straight for the grand bath.

Several maids waiting before the tub filled with milk and roses stripped her clothes and began washing her body.

Meanwhile, Shin Sua used her waterproof tablet PC to select tomorrow's accessories.

Her dedicated stylists and other maids were probably already pulling uniforms and items from the closet, prepping them to perfection.

"Analysis?"

"Show me."

At Shin Sua's low command, the stylist on the tablet displayed the results.

Confirming the hairstyles composited onto her uniformed self, Shin Sua picked the middle one.

It incorporated curls and braids for an elegant, high-effort look. Paired with her superior beauty, Kim Taeyang wouldn't be able to look away, even if he tried. She was certain.

"Double the styling team. Don't expect me to wake up early for your sake. Prep so it's done in 10 minutes flat tomorrow morning."

Shin Sua tossed the tablet as the stylist replied, and a waiting maid ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠leaped high like a wide receiver to catch it.

Kim Taeyang had potential.

With proper support as her subordinate, he might one day crush Seol Romi in her stead.

If her pawn Kim Taeyang beat Seol Romi, it was as good as her own victory.

She was confident.

Enslaved by her killer beauty, he'd soon roll belly-up at her feet, tail wagging.

Then she'd casually grind her toes into his gut and toy with him.

How dare a worm pine for her—he'd pay the price.

A flash of venom crossed Shin Sua's eyes as she thought that.

His infatuation would only burn hotter with time, so now she could slowly bait him into slavery.

-Kihih.

When he learned the truth of his one-sided love after being thoroughly used, what pathetic despair would twist Kim Taeyang's face?

Imagining it, Shin Sua let out a small laugh.

She'd never stolen someone's heart and wielded them like her father, but just as she'd always gotten what she wanted, she was certain Kim Taeyang would be hers too.

Meanwhile, as Shin Sua fantasized about a future gratifying her desire for dominance, Kim Taeyang was hoisting Gemma's body into the air on the opposite side of the academy ship, in his apartment.