That Throbbing Heartbeat
My heart was still pounding even though I hadn't seen her face yet. But I knew. Thump thump. It had to be her. Thump...
“Hey, how’ve you been?”
She stepped right up to me. She looked up, tilting her head, those beautiful eyes from before locking onto mine.
“Hmm...? No reaction? Did I get the wrong guy~?”
She was right.
“Ah... no.”
“No what?”
“I mean... it’s just so sudden.”
“Hmmm. Didn’t like seeing me?”
“No way.”
“Not that, huh. Then... wanna take a quick walk?”
Uh...!
I hesitated for a second. What about my stuff?
“Hold on a sec.”
Beep beep beep beep.
I quickly swiped the apartment entrance card and dumped my bags inside roughly.
“Huh? What’re you doing?”
“Uh... I’ll just leave ’em like this for now. We’re neighbors, right? No one’s gonna steal it. There’s even delivery boxes out front.”
“...”
Kim Se-rin, the cheerleader, stared at me blankly. Then her eyes started crinkling with amusement.
“Hahahaha.”
Whatever was so funny, she covered her face with both hands and laughed for a full minute.
“Hahaha. Dude~ you idiot? You brought your car, didn’t you? You just pulled that out of the trunk. Stick it back in. Isn’t that safer?”
“Ah...”
I was an idiot.
Beep beep beep beep.
I went back inside, grabbed the bags, and hauled them out again.
“Hahahaha.”
And Kim Se-rin kept laughing the whole time, right up until I shoved everything back into the trunk.
Shit... so embarrassing... Ah... mortifying. I wanted to crawl into a hole. Maybe just get in the car and never come out?
When I finally shuffled back to her, she stopped laughing and looked at me. Her mouth was hidden by the mask, but her eyes were still smiling. She was totally mocking me. They even looked a little teary at the corners from laughing so hard.
But somehow, that eye smile didn’t piss me off.
“Haa... you almost killed me, my stomach hurts so bad. That was hilarious.”
“...”
Nope, scratch that. It did piss me off. If a truck appeared right now, I’d cheer it on.
“Phew~ your face is all red, Hu-seong. Want me to cool it down? Hoo~ hoo~.”
“Please don’t call me by my full name like that.”
“Got it, got it. Hoo~seong-ah. I’ll say it properly once your face cools off a bit.”
“...”
I seriously needed to go die.
“Okay~ sorry, I’ll stop. So, wanna actually take that walk now?”
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
I walked with Kim Se-rin toward the familiar spot. The park where we’d run and walked together before.
She was a few steps ahead, and I trailed slowly behind.
“Not tired or anything?”
“Hmm... a little, but... it’s nothing.”
“Good. Mind if I ask a couple things?”
“...?”
That made me uneasy. What could she possibly want to ask me...? No, it was what she might ask that had me worried.
“That thing from a while back. What happened?”
“Uh... what thing?”
“You know what. There were all sorts of rumors. Not just the articles—other stories too.”
Hmm... Guess it made sense, since it involved cheerleaders...
Kim Se-rin stopped. She turned to face me directly.
“I wanna hear it straight from you.”
... Hmm... How should I put this?
“What part do you wanna hear?”
“Just... the facts. Not the rumors. From the person himself.”
How to explain? Truth is, there were parts that were hard to talk about. Because...
“Honestly, I don’t even know exactly how it all went down that day.”
“Wh-what?”
She looked a bit thrown by my words. But it was true. I didn’t know the full story. Why Seo Ha-yoon had called me out of the blue, why there were two other cheerleaders I barely knew there...
And I hadn’t asked her for details. I’d just used the situation to my advantage afterward and moved on, so no need to dig deeper.
So yeah, I didn’t really know.
“So what I’m saying is, this is just from my perspective—what I know. Not the absolute truth or anything, just my side of things.”
“Mm... got it.”
“So, where to start... Ah! This works. I never contacted any cheerleaders first. Never asked anyone to call them. I just got asked out of nowhere, showed up, and there were three cheerleaders there.”
Clap.
Kim Se-rin clapped her hands.
“Okay. That’s enough.”
Huh?
“What? No more questions?”
“Nah. That’s plenty. Well... haa... stuff like that happens a lot, actually. Seniors tell you to call up any player they kinda know. You know?”
“Ah...”
“You on good terms with those cheerleaders now?”
I tilted my head.
“Hmm... they came to Goyang to apologize after I got sent down to the minors. But... I figured they had their reasons for calling me out suddenly, so I accepted, we grabbed a meal, and that was it.”
“They...?”
...?
“Oh! The... one who’s the same age as me.”
“Aha~ hmm~ same age~?”
“Yeah. Nothing really happened...”
“Mm. Got it.”
Clap!
Kim Se-rin clapped again.
“Truth is, I called you out to apologize.”
“Huh?”
Apologize? For what?
“Sorry. At first, when I heard the rumors, I thought I’d misread you. Like you were hitting on cheerleaders because I was nice to you. So I felt bad for the Turkeys cheer team. But good thing it wasn’t like that.”
Ah... yeah, that could’ve been how it looked...
I messed up. It’d dinged my rep more than I thought...
“Haha... yeah, good thing.”
“Mm... anyway, sorry. I never said it out loud, but I still regret saying dumb stuff to you. Haa~ and because of that, a pro like you got sent down. That was out of line.”
“Ah... no, it’s not... umm...”
Kim Se-rin tilted her head when she saw my awkward expression.
“Not... what? Tell me. I’m listening.”
“It’s just... haa...”
I looked away from her eyes, scanning the park instead. The dark night was lit softly by streetlamps, keeping the shadows at bay.
“Something hard to say, huh? I’ll wait. Take your time.”
...
“That was just an excuse. Something convenient for getting sent down...?”
“Huh? Really?”
“I thought about it a lot, and I just didn’t wanna admit my skills weren’t good enough. I could’ve just told the first-team manager, ‘My skills aren’t there yet. I’ll learn more in the minors and come back!’ But...”
I clenched my fist tight.
“Still, as a pro... saying that outright feels off, right? Pros grit it out in the first team as long as they can... until the manager sends them down. The second-team manager trained me well and got me called up, but is this right? I know my skills are lacking... but putting it into words? I hated that. I’m an idiot, right? Looking back now, it’s not that shameful. I was just letting stupid pride get in the way...”
...
Kim Se-rin stayed quiet.
“Anyway, that’s what it was for me. It’s no big deal now, so don’t feel bad about it at all. In the end, I trained hard in the minors, came back up, and had a flashy comeback against the Busan Siguls. I’m confident now.”
The silent Kim Se-rin walked slowly toward me. Then she suddenly grabbed my left hand. She cradled the back with one hand and stroked my palm with the other.
Uh...?
Her touch was so soft. Thump thump thump thump. Stupid heart. Don’t race over something like this.
At the same time, I felt embarrassed by my own rough, calloused hand.
“You worked hard. Good job. Impressive. I can feel how much effort went into these hands. How much did you push yourself?”
She let go, looked at my hand one more time, then lifted her head to meet my eyes again.
“Hu-seong-ah, I do think you were an idiot, just like you said.”
... Oof... yeah, figured.
“But the only idiotic part? Getting sent down as some cheerleader-chasing player. It tanked your rep for no reason. Dummy?”
...
No words for that.
“But not wanting to admit your skills were lacking? That’s not idiotic. It’s just frustrating, right? Totally normal.”
Thump... thump... thump...
My calmed heart started racing again. Hearing her validate the real embarrassing truth I’d admitted felt good.
“I’ll change that request I had for you.”
“Huh?”
“The old one was dumb.”
Kim Se-rin paused, thinking, then continued.
“Be the kind of player cheerleaders can cheer for with all their energy. Tougher request?”
“No way! Ahem, I’m already getting some cheers like that.”
“Oh? Then take care of me.”
Huh?
Kim Se-rin stuck out her hand. I shook it.
What’s this...?
“What’s weird about it?”
“Nothing.”
“Cheerleaders switch teams sometimes. We’re outsourced, so whole teams move on contracts, or individuals go elsewhere. Who knows? I might end up cheering for you someday. Just getting ahead of it.”
Then she tugged my hand, pulling me close like a hug.
“Your face lit up when I touched your hand earlier. Felt that good?”
“Huh...? Did it?”
Kyahhhh! Was my face that obvious? You idiot!
“Kidding. But your reaction says it did.”
She flashed that eye smile and stepped back. Then she turned and started heading back the way we came.
“Let’s head in. Getting late.”
Without looking back, she waved lightly.
“See ya. Don’t go down to the minors again.”