A Beer Can and Menhera Tears
“What are you doing not microwaving the rice?♡”
“Ah, shit… I’m fucked. I pissed myself.”
Still reeling from the shock of bumping her head, Noah grumbled as she stripped off her clothes and tossed them aside.
“…”
Dohyun tried his best to ignore it, but—
“Dohyun.”
Noah’s voice cut through.
“You like lemonade?”
“Why the hell are you asking that right now, you lunatic!!”
Noah’s exclamation was cut short by a short scream.
“Fuck, it got piss on it..!!”
The gray, one-piece cotton dress Noah usually lounged in around the house—something like her “Dongtan look”—went flying through the air and smacked straight into Dohyun’s face.
“You’re enjoying this way too much.”
Along with Noah’s mocking laugh—
“You crazy bastard!!”
Dohyun flailed like an animal caught in a net.
The fabric was so large that no matter how wildly he waved his hands, he couldn’t see a thing.
“Aww… I only got a little on it…”
Just as Noah said, the part around where her hips would have been was indeed slightly damp.
Then—
“…”
He absentmindedly took a sniff.
There was a faint urine smell, but aside from that spot—
‘It smells really fucking good…’
Maybe because of her white ancestry, her natural scent had a sharp, almost stinging quality, yet there was something sweetly addictive underneath it.
Even—
‘How the hell does even the top of her head smell good…?’
Perhaps because of her relatively oily skin, the scent of the hair oil that clung to his fingers when he pushed her hair away also tickled something deep in his chest.
As if she noticed—
“Wanna use it to jerk off? Should I give it to you?”
Noah’s voice drifted out from the bathroom.
“I don’t need it!”
Dohyun shot back.
“And close the damn door when you piss! The whole place reeks!”
“The bathroom’s so small that if I close the door I have to do yoga just to sit down, you know?”
“Just deal with being a little uncomfortable!”
“So if it’s uncomfortable you can’t even—ah…♡”
Along with her trembling voice came the sound of urine trickling out.
“I-I can’t hear it. I can’t hear it.”
Dohyun frantically covered his ears like a child and tried to brainwash himself.
“What are you doing not microwaving the rice?♡”
“You crazy Scott-loving bastard!”
“In our industry, isn’t this a reward?”
“Fuck!”
After a while of their usual bickering—
“Aish, even though I keep telling you to move out…”
“You’re paying the moving costs, right?”
“It’s money I earned anyway. Practically all of it.”
“That doesn’t even make sense…”
There was some truth to it, though.
A few years ago, when Noah had casually mentioned, “Apparently overseas they’re making some kind of coin and even ordering pizza with it,” Dohyun had mined a little out of boredom. The price had skyrocketed since then.
It wasn’t enough to change his life completely, but it was more than enough to cover tuition and living expenses for the first half of his adult life, letting him enjoy a leisurely university lifestyle.
Noah, on the other hand—
‘Aaaah—!! I should’ve bought some too—!’
‘I’m such an idiot! I’m such a fucking idiot—!’
She had forgotten her own words and was now shuddering with regret.
“That’s why I don’t even charge you rent.”
“Do you charge rent when friends come over?”
“Is this really just ‘coming over’? You’re basically living here. And eat properly, will you? At this rate I’ll have to start charging you for food too.”
Noah’s extraordinary Hasshaku physique demanded an equally extraordinary amount of calories to maintain.
Every time she opened the fridge, the inside looked like an autumn field after a swarm of locusts had passed through.
“Friends are allowed to eat a little extra…”
Having finished her business and taken a shower, Noah grumbled as she opened the fridge door.
“What are you trying to eat now?”
“Just checking what’s in there… Oh, beer♡”
“That’s the last can. I was going to drink it, so leave it alone.”
“I’ll buy more later.”
“You say that every time but you never actually do.”
Dohyun kept his eyes on the monitor while complaining to Noah rummaging behind him.
This was their daily ritual—like a WWE match where protests were made but the outcome was always the same.
Noah knew this too, so she casually ignored him and grabbed the beer.
“Aish, you should buy some expensive beer for once. Why is it always the four-can discount world beer?”
“Then you buy it.”
“Tsk… Why won’t this open again.”
Noah tapped the pull tab with her fingertips, but it wouldn’t catch properly.
Her fingers had grown proportionally with her height, and she’d just trimmed her nails, making it even harder.
“Aish… Seriously… These days there’s no Hasshaku sensibility at all… Tsk…”
Grumbling, Noah struggled with the can until—
“Dohyun.”
“What?”
“You open it.”
She handed it over.
Of course, Noah wasn’t the type to just hand it over nicely.
“Ah.”
She pulled open his collar and shoved the ice-cold can straight down his back.
“It’s cold! What the hell did you just do?!”
Letting out a girlish shriek, Dohyun danced around in a panic.
He kept struggling to reach behind him, but—
“What’s wrong? Can’t even take out one can?”
Noah playfully held down the hem of his shirt, pinning him so he couldn’t stand up.
“Let go already!!”
But Dohyun’s voice sounded different from their usual WWE banter.
“…?”
“Aish… I lost…”
The monitor clearly displayed the word DEFEAT in large letters.
“Seriously, even though I keep telling you not to…”
Dohyun grumbled in annoyance and pushed Noah away.
“Ah. S-sorry. So…”
Noah rarely apologized, and then—
“H-hey, wanna touch my tits? I won’t call you a shitbug anymore.”
She pressed her massive breasts against Dohyun’s face.
Completely naked.
When she had no spare clothes, Noah sometimes teased him while naked.
Normally he would have recoiled in exaggerated disgust (while actually being embarrassed), but—
“I’m good right now.”
Still upset, he coldly turned his gaze away.
“Just be quiet.”
He sat back in his gaming chair and faced the monitor.
“Um… ah…”
Noah fidgeted, trying to make excuses, then—
“…”
She silently walked over to the sofa and sat down.
Thud. She deliberately sat down hard.
The sofa’s pocket springs sank deeply once again.
Normally Dohyun would have snapped at her to sit more gently, but—
“…”
He said nothing.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
She even deliberately stomped her feet a little.
“…”
Normally he would have complained that the downstairs neighbors would come up, but—
“…”
Still nothing.
“Dohyun.”
Noah called out in an overly bright tone.
“…”
No answer.
“Dohyun, open the can for me.”
She asked playfully again.
“…”
No answer.
“Hey, can-opener, open the can for me—!♡”
She even tried mimicking something she’d seen on the internet, but—
“…”
Dohyun still didn’t respond.
“Are you sulking?”
She tried playfully again.
“…”
No answer.
“Answer me, you idiot. Getting sulky over something this small…”
She tried to keep her tone light, but—
“…”
Still no answer.
“Dohyun.”
“I’m really pissed off right now, so shut up.”
“…”
This time Noah couldn’t answer.
Then—
“…”
He heard the rustle of Noah curling up.
And then the quiet sound of her sniffling.
“…”
Ever since becoming a woman, Noah’s relationships had become unstable and the hormonal changes had hit her hard. Sometimes she showed this kind of menhera behavior.
“Hic… sob…”
She tried to hold back her tears, but they kept coming.
“Hic… ugh…”
The sound of her rubbing her eyes and sniffling could be heard.
Dohyun’s heart wasn’t at ease either.
‘Was I too harsh…?’
He thought, then—
‘But it’s not like this is the first or second time.’
Then—
‘Maybe I did go a bit too far this time?’
His thoughts wavered for a moment before—
“Aish, damn it!”
Dohyun finally stood up, roughly running his hands through his hair.
“Dohyun?”
“Wait here!”
He opened the door with a bang and left.
“Here.”
A few minutes later he returned and tossed a plastic bag onto the sofa.
“This…”
“What, were you planning to drink alone?”
Inside the bag were several cans and some simple snacks.
“It wasn’t enough, so I just went to the convenience store.”
Dohyun said it like it was nothing.
“Yeah. Right. You weren’t going to drink alone. You weren’t going to drink alone… hic… You weren’t going to drink alone… You weren’t… Yeah. That’s not it…”
“Why are you crying again… Calm down. Aish, just calm down already…”
Dohyun frantically tried to soothe Noah, who had started wailing in earnest.
A little later—
“Burrrp—!”
After chugging an entire can, Noah let out an unladylike belch.
As expected from her large frame, it was loud.
“It smells.”
There was no actual smell, but Dohyun made a show of being bothered anyway.
“Reward, then?”
Noah answered playfully.
“Watch what you say…”
Dohyun clicked his tongue.
He considered pretending to be angry, but Noah’s eyes were still puffy from crying, making it hard to say anything.
“Hey, Dohyun.”
“What?”
“I still feel most comfortable with you, you know?”
Noah smiled bashfully.
“…”
Embarrassed, Dohyun turned his gaze away.
“You got hard looking at my tits, didn’t you?♡”
“No I didn’t!”
Leaving Noah’s teasing behind—
Up until now, everything had really been good.