Such a Pretty Pussy
Dohyun kept suckling on Noah’s breast milk until her panic attack finally subsided.
A little while later,
Noah looked down at him with an awkward little “hehe…” laugh.
In response, Dohyun let out a loud,
The sweet, slightly regurgitated scent of breast milk tickled his tongue and nose, and it felt strangely pleasant.
Noah blushed, but her smile was bright and happy.
Noah scratched her cheek, then looked off into the distance with an innocent expression.
Dohyun frowned playfully.
He grumbled.
But then—
Noah’s face turned deathly pale.
Her eyes grew dull as tears streamed down her face.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Her heart pounded so hard and fast that the beats slammed against Dohyun’s cheek through her chest. It actually hurt.
Shit. He realized he’d messed up.
“No, it’s not like that. Noah.”
Dohyun pulled her into his arms again (though with their size difference it looked more like he was clinging to her), stretching as far as he could to stroke her hair and rub her back.
“It’s okay. I’m sorry, Noah. That was my mistake. I was just teasing you a little. I don’t hate the sound of your burps at all. They don’t smell either. I just… made a really bad joke, that’s all.”
But his words didn’t reach her. Noah’s consciousness had already slipped back into her own isolated world.
A world of pain and fear.
“Noah. I’m sorry. It’s not your fault at all. You don’t have to apologize.”
Dohyun desperately repeated her name, trying to pull her back.
Only then did her heartbeat begin to slow.
“Yeah. It’s not your fault at all. It’s absolutely not your fault. So…”
As calmly and softly as he could, he continued.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. It was all me. So please, Noah, stop apologizing. Don’t ever apologize again.”
He clung desperately to her slowing pulse, refusing to let it slip away. He held her body just as tightly.
Noah still sounded doubtful.
“It’s not.”
Dohyun answered as shortly and firmly as possible.
She sniffled several times, asking the embarrassing question with zero shame on her face. The fear and pain had probably overwhelmed any sense of embarrassment, Dohyun thought.
“Didn’t you say it was a reward?”
He tried to sound as casual as possible.
Noah stammered, tripping over her words, but her tremors had lessened compared to before.
“It really is a reward.”
“Don’t I like it hardcore?”
“Would I lie about that? Or do you want me to show you my browser history? Want to see what I jerk off to?”
Noah scratched her cheek with a finger, then rolled her eyes up toward the ceiling as if deep in thought.
A bad feeling crept over him.
“You didn’t… look, did you?”
Now it was Dohyun’s turn to feel a panic attack coming on.
“…How far did you see?”
Noah carefully chose her words.
“…”
Noah gave another awkward “hehe” laugh.
She drove a stake straight into his heart with all her might.
“…”
This time, Dohyun wanted to die.
In the awkward silence that followed,
Noah kept laughing awkwardly with a “He… hehe…”
While Dohyun sat there composing a tragic death poem in his head.
Mother, your unworthy son…
He swore that in his next life he would properly delete his browser history.
After Dohyun had been frozen like that for a while,
“Anyway!”
He quickly pulled himself together.
Noah had been permanently banned from countless communities as an unprecedented “chaos gremlin,” with ban counts in the dozens. While he couldn’t match her level, Dohyun was also a seasoned “troll veteran” with considerable resistance to public executions and doxxing.
His mentality wasn’t exactly rock-solid… but he was shameless enough.
“Your scent isn’t strong at all! It’s not dirty at all! So stop worrying about it from now on! And don’t pay attention to anything I say either! Or what anyone else says!”
It wasn’t the most elegant delivery, but he stood on his tiptoes as high as he could, vigorously stroking her head while repeating the reassurance.
“Open your mouth.”
“…?”
“I’m about to shove my nose right into it.”
Like a koala climbing a tree, Dohyun clambered up her body, grabbed her chin and cheeks, and tried to force her mouth open.
Noah twisted her whole body, trying to escape his hands.
Even though she was making displeased noises, her eyes were curved in clear delight.
In the middle of it all, Dohyun thought,
Maybe I should buy her a smartwatch or something later…?
He was seriously contemplating how to handle Noah’s panic attacks.
And so the shower ended in a vague, half-finished state.
“Ugh… achoo!”
Noah shivered violently, sniffling because her body had gotten so cold.
“Are you really cold?”
From below, Dohyun aimed a hairdryer at every part of her body.
He had originally tried to look away, but every time he averted his eyes Noah would start panicking and suffering again, thinking Is my body really that disgusting? Do I look that bad? So in the end he had no choice but to watch her dry herself.
“…”
He helped dry her off while he was at it.
“But… um… this hairdryer…”
Noah hesitated, pointing at the dryer.
“Ah, that…”
Come to think of it, after showering at his place Noah would always use the hairdryer to dry her whole body. She even spread her legs wide and aimed it directly between them like some sloppy old man.
No matter how you looked at it, the male part of her still remained.
Every time she did that, Dohyun would protest,
Don’t dry there! That’s for my hair!!
That had been then. Now he needed to choose his words carefully.
“This hairdryer…”
He almost said I’m going to replace it with a more expensive one anyway, but changed it at the last second.
“It’s fine because it’s a reward.”
A bit rough, but thoughtful.
Noah laughed with a “hehe” and scratched her cheek.
Then,
For some reason, Noah’s posture looked a little strange.
Perfectly straight. Perfectly upright.
In other words, she was standing with her thighs and knees pressed tightly together.
“That… um… that’s…”
“If you don’t like it, I won’t.”
The moment Dohyun tried to look away,
“No.”
Noah shook her head with a sad expression, then
She spread her legs wide while still standing.
It looked vulgar, like a crab dance.
But—
“Noah… hey…”
That place looked a little strange too.
Or rather, not so much strange as—
“Isn’t it… a bit…?”
Noah’s lips trembled.
It wasn’t ugly.
Her labia majora were still a soft, pale pink. Plump and gently closed with faint coloring. A cute little pink clitoris hiding its head beneath the hood. And…
“This…”
Cigarette burns were scattered across her labia majora and the insides of her thighs. There were even scars that looked like needle marks from injections.
“What the hell… happened to you…”
Dohyun was at a loss for words.
Noah tried to sound as indifferent as possible, hurriedly trying to close her legs. Her voice, however, was shaking violently.
Dohyun leaned in.
Chu.
Chu.
Chu.
Chu.
Like someone playfully kissing a child’s lips,
Chu.
Chu.
Chu.
He kissed her there again and again.
Noah protested in a cute, nasal voice.
She didn’t close her legs again, though.
In any case, Noah was happy.
That was how Dohyun dried Noah’s body, carefully examining every inch of her while he worked.
Just from what he could remember, there were countless scars, wounds, and bruises all over her body. Especially concentrated around her genitals, lower belly, and breasts.
On her forearms and wrists were straight, dense barcode-like scars that were clearly from self-harm. The number of cigarette burns was impossible to count.
And on her back…
Iron… marks…
There were large burn scars that looked like they had come from an iron. The blisters hadn’t fully subsided yet, and they looked incredibly painful.
“…”
He couldn’t even begin to imagine what she had gone through these past few months.
The search bar he had opened in a daze felt overwhelming. Where should he even start? Surgery? Dermatology? Obstetrics and gynecology? And… psychiatry?
“Haa…”
Dohyun let out a sigh without realizing it.
Noah, who had been crouching on the sofa, flinched like a startled cat and asked in a panic.
“No, I was just… um…”
Dohyun carefully chose his words.
“I was just thinking about some stuff.”
He answered as if nothing was wrong.
Somehow, the road ahead felt impossibly long.
Or maybe they had already come much too far.
It had only been a few months.