Chapter 34
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 34
Chapter Title: Shorty
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The day after coming back from Yeouido with Bell.
"Me too—! Buy me some Hanwoo toooo—!"
I'd been pondering how to spend this rare pleasant weekend when, from the morning, I quietly spoke to the pathetic adult sprawled on the living room floor, flailing around.
"I earned that through honest labor. If you're unhappy, buy it yourself with your own money."
Wasn't it Sena's fault for chugging beer every night while glued to her games, only to end up looking all disheveled like this come morning?
"……."
Did my words hit the nail on the head? Sena shuddered like a spider sprayed with insecticide and froze stiff.
"…Labor in exchange for a date?"
She stared at me with that jealous glint unique to long-time singles deprived of companionship, slowly dragging herself up and starting to question me.
"Huh?"
I wondered if I'd misheard. Just as I was about to ask in disbelief if she was seriously saying that,
"Don't tease her too much, Miss Sena. Pairing me with Miss Ha-yul would be a crime. A crime."
The uncle—Bell—who had fretted yesterday about getting pulled aside for looking suspicious while we wandered around together, yawned as he shuffled in dragging his slippers and headed to make coffee.
Crack.
I had to snatch the indoor slipper off my foot and hurl it at Bell's head instead of Sena, who quickly caught on and scooted away from me.
Thwack…!
Maybe it looked a bit childish, but while the sound was pathetic, it still packed enough punch to make the guy ahead stumble.
"…What the hell is this?"
"Who's calling you a kid-bodied shrimp?"
"Setting aside whether I said that or not… How is Miss Ha-yul a kid-bodied shrimp? Speak properly. Miss Ha-yul is just petite. Haha. If every kid in the world had that build, it'd be hell. Hell."
He flung the slipper back at me from his head like it was absurd.
"Oh yeah, I saw this in the comments on that recent Licorice clash video."
He smirked at me with utter pity.
"—Shorty."
Maybe because the standoff footage with Licorice—who wasn't exactly tall herself—exposed that I was a full head shorter than even her. Then he scattered like black mist and fled.
"……."
Well, sure. Fair enough. I am short, that's a fact. I half-expected it. Up till now, shots of me were mostly solo, so people could have been mistaken. And anyway, who cares what those monkeys say? It doesn't affect me. Yeah. I'm fine. A guy who used to tower over 180cm isn't gonna get hung up on being a bit shorter now. Right?
Grind.
"Ha-yul. My teeth are grinding."
As a villain doing stage performances of sorts, I felt obligated to check public opinion on myself, even if it didn't really bother me.
"Heh, heh heh…."
"Eek, scary. I better run."
I didn't even notice Sena gulping and bolting as I clicked on the Robelia vs. Licorice clash video that had topped the video site recently and cautiously scrolled the comments.
Tremble.
Soon enough, I learned the dangers of the term "ego surfing."
"Goddamn monkey bastards… I'll kill every last one taller than me…."
Why does this world have such a violently cruel word?
Shorty.
If Robelia shows up at your house, just say it's finally here.
Licorice suddenly looks so pathetic lol upvote
It was the top-recommended comment on the highest-viewed, most-commented video covering my clash with Licorice.
"……."
No doubt about it. After this comment blew up, that vile word had spread across communities everywhere, too wicked to even utter. Sure, some folks with a shred of conscience made the right call… but whatever.
Even so, isn't Robelia not that much of a shorty?
It's her herself?
Robelia hideout IP traced
Smurf account "CoolSeriel"? So obvious
I had to doubt my eyes for a second. I'd posted as a non-member under a neutral nickname that wouldn't trace back to Ryu Ha-yul… yet every reply was grilling me like I was Robelia.
"……."
I hate guys with annoyingly sharp instincts.
"Sigh."
As I realized how pathetic I looked fuming alone, I sighed and set my phone down.
Bang…!
Suddenly, something burst nearby, so I bolted up, rushed to the source—the bathroom—and flung the door open.
"Oh? Ha-yul, it's you."
"Eek!? S-Sorry!"
There was Sena, drenched like a wet rat, flustered over whatever she'd been doing. …Her figure was better than expected.
"Uh… I heard a noise suddenly…."
No matter what, I couldn't keep staring at an adult woman soaked in her underwear, so as I hurriedly turned away to explain,
"Ugh, sorry. Did I scare you? I was about to shower and sleep when the pipe burst. What a mess."
Maybe because I looked every bit the girl right now, she didn't seem fazed at all by me seeing her in her undies. She grumbled about the damn pipe with a dissatisfied tone.
"Oh, right! Ha-yul! Wanna hit the sauna?"
"…Huh?"
"You haven't showered yet anyway. It's the weekend for once, no shift today. Let's go to the sauna!"
She casually wiped her face and body with a towel, eyes sparkling as she suggested it.
"Hehe. This is great for bonding! Sweat out the stress nice and hot!"
"Thing is… I've never been to a sauna…."
"That's why it's perfect! Come on, come on! No backing out, little sis Ha-yul!"
And just like that, prepping for an unplanned sauna trip, I had to mull over a sudden thought.
'Wait, sauna means… I go to the women's side?'
Come to think of it, my current body was legally allowed in the women's bath.
'Sounds good to me?'
Would a guy be embarrassed in the women's bath? It's my own body I see every day anyway. No one would actually ask, but if they did, I could declare with confidence.
My body is mine, someone else's is theirs. Enduring this would make me less a man and more a woman in man's clothing.
Retract that statement.
"Ha-yul. Got shampoo in your eyes? You've been rubbing them since earlier."
"…Not shampoo, but something similar."
"You gotta be more careful."
I rubbed my eyes furiously, as if to scrub the hellish sight of the women's bath from my brain, and quietly sighed.
"Kuhhh, sometimes pulling an all-nighter at the sauna like this hits the spot."
Not a glimpse of what I'd hoped for. Just grandmas everywhere. Even Sena, who I'd snuck peeks at, had sharper senses than she looked and kept asking if I had something to say, so I barely got a proper look.
"……."
Of course, I know. My actions, my thoughts—they're trash. But I'm a guy. Well, was. Isn't fantasizing about the women's bath natural for any man?
"Ha-yul! Want some sikhye?"
I nodded to Sena, who asked more energetically than I'd seen all day. Then, eyeing the oversized sauna outfit that felt huge on my frame thanks to my chest, I sighed.
"…Huh?"
Off in the corner—sprawled comfortably on the warm floor, chuckling vacantly at the TV—was a familiar-looking uncle.
"Ha-yul. Where should we set up? Front of the TV's nice, or that cave spot… Huh? What's up?"
I stared hard, thinking it might be someone similar, but no way that pale-skinned tall middle-aged guy was common. So with Sena approaching beaming, tray laden with a big sikhye and a basket of roasted eggs, we headed to the uncle I'd spotted.
"Yawwwn… Hm?"
The guy—Bell—with a towel folded sheepishly like sheep ears on his head, yawned lazily and finally noticed us turning around.
"No way, why is our shorty here…."
Still out of it? He naturally let the word slip, then belatedly clapped a hand over his mouth.
"Die—!!"
Faster than he could turn and flee, I grabbed a few roasted eggs off Sena's tray and chucked them.
Splat…!
I picked up the one that hit dead-center on the back of his head and stayed intact, neatly peeled the shell, and roughly chomped the perfectly browned egg while stomping on Bell as he flopped over.
"Gaaah…! My egg…! It's all mushed…!"
Grinning at Sena sobbing as she scooped up the smashed eggs nearby, I said,
"Sena was right. Saunas are the best."
One thing for sure—they relieve stress perfectly.