Lingering Affection
I could barely feel my body anymore. My limbs felt heavy, like they were sinking into the mattress.
"...Mmm?"
My sister was kneading my ass. Even though I couldn't control my body or my mind, the sensation of her touch came through with painful clarity.
"Aigoo, our Jihyun is just too cute, I could die~"
Smack!
"Kk... hngh."
My body trembled uncontrollably. The impact against my buttocks wasn't fully absorbed by the fat; instead, it sent neurotransmitters screaming to my brain, warning it of pain.
"Lying there so obediently like this, you really look like a baby."
She climbed on top of me, pressing her body against my back. She inhaled deeply, as if checking every inch of my skin to make sure it still carried the scent of her body wash.
"Huuung..."
Satisfied, she wrapped her arms around me and settled in.
"I'm really going to sleep now, I promise. One last kiss!"
She turned my head and pressed her lips to mine.
"Just a kiss feels a little unsatisfying, doesn't it?"
She kissed me again. This time, her tongue slipped inside. I didn't have the strength to keep my mouth closed, so I simply let it happen.
"Chuu... chup... tssup... chiiik♡"
The wet, sticky sounds flooded my brain as auditory signals. My nose desperately tried to draw in oxygen, but with a war raging at my mouth, breathing properly was impossible.
My previously motionless body began to stir. The most primal, fundamental fear response—the need for oxygen—turned into a survival instinct that made my hands flail. I pushed at her with all my strength, but she didn't budge. Instead, she squeezed me even tighter.
"Chuuheek... tchaahp, puhuup... chuuuut, keheuk... kkhuk..."
My body changed tactics, desperately stealing breaths between her kisses. The problem was that for every bit of oxygen I gained, an equal amount of her saliva flooded in.
She sucked on me greedily as she slowly climbed fully on top. Her weight pressed down with vivid intensity. Those once-soft breasts now exerted crushing pressure, pinning me down.
I had no idea how much longer this would go on.
"Puuhaaa...! Is this enough?"
She finally lifted herself up, releasing me. She looked down at me. She must have been satisfied with the sight of my face covered in her saliva.
"Yeah, it's pretty."
With a satisfied smile, she climbed off and lay down beside me.
"You need to remember what happened today. Got it?"
"..."
"You have to answer."
"Y... yes..."
The area around my neck kept bothering me. I was wearing a turtleneck I normally never touched, but I couldn't stop worrying about the obscene marks still hidden underneath. It had already been a week—when the hell were they going to disappear?
Mind control. Deep breathing. Jimin would be here soon. Time to switch into counselor mode.
I pictured myself flipping a switch in my brain. By pressing this switch, I imply myself that I was ready for counseling.
Bang!
"Oppa, hello!!"
I jumped and looked toward the door. Jimin laughed at my startled reaction.
"Oppa, you didn't hear my footsteps, did you? Hidden camera success~"
"I'm a scaredy-cat, so I got completely got. But usually you can't hear footsteps in the counseling room..."
"So what should we do today?"
For now, I pushed everything else out of my mind and focused on the girl sitting in front of me, looking excited.
"Today we'll just talk, play around, that kind of thing."
"Then it'll be fun again today."
The girl stared straight at me. Her face was full of mischief.
"Oh, first I want to talk about my mock exam. My physics score was way better than I expected? There were some really hard problems, so I wasn't confident at all, but I got them right!"
"That's amazing. I'm in the liberal arts track, so I probably couldn't solve a single one of the questions you did."
"If you're liberal arts, you must be good at Korean. Korean is hard for me. Everything else is fine, but those questions where you have to pick the right emotion or feeling... No matter how much I think about it, I feel like my answer is correct, but I keep getting them wrong."
"It can't be helped. Emotions are subjective... It's not that you did anything wrong. It's just not the answer they wanted."
"But oppa."
"Yeah?"
"This is the first time you've worn a turtleneck, right?"
"Huh...? What are you talking about?"
"You've been touching your neck the whole time. Is the turtleneck uncomfortable?"
Had I been touching it? I must have been unconsciously bothered by it.
"Mom told me to wear it so I wouldn't catch a cold since it's cold out, so I had no choice."
"Huuuum~? I see~"
"Anyway, did the mock exam give you the grade level you wanted?"
"Oppa, take off your turtleneck."
The atmosphere suddenly shifted.
"Suddenly? I'm not wearing anything underneath."
"Just pull down the collar a bit."
"No. How can I show my bare skin to a girl?"
"Hurry up."
"If I do that in the counseling room, I'll get arrested for sexually harassing a minor."
Bang!
The girl slammed her hand on the desk and stood up.
"Pull it down."
"Jimin, calm down for a second. What's wrong...?"
"Pull it down."
Her neurotic symptoms suddenly flared up.
"Okay, first sit back down. Calm down."
The bright girl's face had turned so cold it sent chills down my spine.
I figured I had no choice but to do what she wanted.
"There... happy?"
I showed her my neck.
"There are bruises, so I covered them up because I was worried."
"Why do you keep lying?"
I could see my sister's image overlapping with this girl.
"I'm not lying..."
"You said earlier that your mom made you wear it."
"Yes, that's one reason, but I was also trying to hide the bruises on my neck."
"You're hiding hickeys, aren't you?"
"Yes, that's right. Jimin, you're still a minor. If I showed something like this openly, it might confuse you."
"Oppa, do you have a girlfriend?"
"Yes."
"..."
The girl lowered her head and stared at the floor.
"You said you returned to school."
"Yes."
"It's been less than two months since you came back."
"Yes."
"And you already have a girlfriend?"
"Um... are you interested in dating stories? When you go to college, I'm sure you'll—"
"When did you start dating?"
"Uh... a few weeks ago."
"So even when we first met, you already had a girlfriend?"
"That's right. If you feel like I deceived you, I'm sorry. But I wasn't trying to trick you. I just didn't think it was appropriate to mention while we were building our counseling relationship."
There was no response.
"Jimin...?"
The girl had frozen like a statue.
"Let's end today's session here."
"Should we? If you're not feeling well, just say so comfortably. Let's stop here for today."
The girl left without looking back. From that reaction, it seemed she had romantic feelings for me. This was going to be a headache.
"Um... Mr. Jihyun."
"Yes."
"How is the counseling going?"
"I don't fully understand the heart of an adolescent girl, but I'm doing my best."
Professor Kim spoke from the chair across from me, clearly anxious.
"It seemed like she had improved a lot since counseling began, but has there been some problem in this recent session? She hasn't said a word for several days."
Ah... this was bad.
"Interrupting during a session is really unacceptable, but since it's my daughter, I can't help but worry... I'm sorry, Jihyun. I really am, but could you meet with her separately?"
"But Professor, you told me to be careful about forming too deep a relationship with a client."
"That's true, but Jimin is suffering so much. Could we at least increase the number of sessions? I'll pay for it."
Professor Kim clearly knew the problems with his own suggestion. But perhaps a father's concern left him no choice. Maybe asking an undergraduate for help had been hoping for something beyond simple counseling from the beginning.
"You know, don't you, Jihyun?"
"..."
"That child has romantic feelings for you. I'm sure you've noticed."
"Yes."
"Even if you cut off the relationship completely later, couldn't you satisfy those expectations little by little for now?"
"...But Professor, I have a girlfriend."
"Pardon?"
The professor looked visibly flustered.
"Ah... so that's why... I see."
"..."
A heavy silence fell between us. Neither of us could say anything.
"Professor, I'll try talking to her again at the next session."
"Yes, Jihyun. I'm sorry... I guess this is what having children does to you. It makes you make ridiculous, rude requests. I'm truly sorry... Please just continue as you were without worrying about me."
It had been a while since I'd lain down in my own bed. Humans needed time alone with their thoughts.
I had to reject the affection Jimin felt for me. But that rejection would probably hurt the young girl terribly. While people grow through painful experiences, considering her neurotic symptoms, the chances of this leading to despair rather than growth seemed much higher.
Ending the counseling here would be far too irresponsible, but continuing it meant I would have to crush that child's feelings. I couldn't see how to resolve this.
For now, I needed to catch up on sleep. There had been far more days when I couldn't sleep because of what my sister did to me all day. I believed that getting enough rest would help me come up with a plausible solution.
I cleared all thoughts from my head and tried to sleep. My consciousness slowly drifted away. I would fall asleep soon.