The First Gathering
Everyone, cheers~ But before that! Our new member, Kim Jihyun, would you like to say a few words?
Han Jieun really is a powerhouse of a person. I can feel her hand on my shoulder, and through it, the full force of her excitement. In a gathering like this, in an atmosphere like this, I have to play along.
“Ah… I’m so touched that you’d include a loner like me in your group. I might actually cry. Please take good care of me from now on!”
I said it with as much confidence as I could muster, but without coming on too strong.
“Pfft! For a loner, you sure talk well.”
“Alright, now that he’s spoken, let’s toast!”
Clink! The six glasses collided with surprising force. It was the kind of powerful toast that came from people who drank together often. Everyone immediately downed their drinks.
I’m not particularly good at drinking, but I enjoy it. The hazy, dizzying mood that alcohol creates is surely a mercy and a blessing bestowed upon humanity by the gods.
“So, can I just call you oppa now? Or should I stick with sunbae?”
She was already using such a friendly term? I thought to myself. But the pure innocence in Han Jieun’s face told me she meant it sincerely.
“Ah… I haven’t been called oppa very often, so it feels a bit embarrassing. Just call me sunbae for now.”
Han Jieun stared at me for a moment, then burst into giggles.
“Sunbae, you’re funny. Just drop the formal speech~ Anyway, everyone here is younger than you… Wait, no! Unnie! You’re exactly the same age as unnie, right!”
Han Jieun tapped the woman sitting next to her as she spoke. The woman turned to look at me. She gave off an atmosphere that was the complete opposite of Han Jieun’s. Quiet, solemn, haughty, and yet captivating. She caught my interest.
“That’s true. Let’s all drop the formalities and speak comfortably, yeah?”
Dropping formal speech would naturally bring us closer. It would let us interact more easily than with people we had to maintain politeness with. It wasn’t a bad offer for me either.
“Sure. Then from now on, I’ll speak casually too. So, what are all your names…?”
“Oh~ Right! We all know sunbae’s name, but sunbae doesn’t know ours. Let’s go around and introduce ourselves~”
One by one, they said their names. I’m not great at remembering names, but knowing them the next time we meet would make things smoother. I mentally crammed each face and name together in my head.
“You already know my name, right? I’m Han Jieun!”
Yes, Han Jieun. And the one next to her… Our eyes met.
“I’m Jeong Soyeon.”
She wasn’t smiling, but she didn’t feel cold either. In her eyes, I sensed a strange sense of kinship. Ah, I stared too long.
“Ah… Nice to meet you all. Should we do another toast?”
“Toast sounds good! Cheers!”
Clink! We clinked glasses again, drank again, talked again…
Thud! The sound of a beer glass much larger than my hand slamming down echoed through the room. Still, no one seemed to notice. It only rang loudly in my ears.
“Hya~… It’s been so long since I drank like this!! I’ve been way too busy lately…”
Han Jieun, whose eyes were slightly glazed, kept muttering to herself. The others were also pleasantly tipsy, laughing and chatting noisily with whoever was across from them. Everyone except Jeong Soyeon.
She sat alone as if in a different world, showing no change in expression as she quietly drank.
“Oppa!!”
A finger suddenly jabbed right into the center of my vision.
“Ah, I mean sunbae, not oppa…”
She must have felt embarrassed about suddenly jumping up and shoving her hand in my face, because she carefully sat back down.
“Sunbae, aren’t you worried about the counseling internship?”
She rested her chin on her hand, staring at me with those steady eyes.
“Not really… Worrying about it now won’t change anything anyway.”
My stomach was full, but out of habit I took another sip of beer. For some reason, whenever I finished speaking, I always ended up drinking something.
“Pfft! Puhuhu… Hehe.”
She let out a strange laugh and buried her head on the table, giggling.
“Ah… Hehe… Sunbae, you’re really interesting! Does saying it like that actually make it true?”
“It doesn’t work that well. But you still have to try. Whenever I start worrying, I keep reminding myself—worrying about it now won’t do any good. It helps quite a bit.”
“I’m jealous.”
Han Jieun muttered in a small voice. That tiny murmur sounded incredibly loud. In the middle of Daehak-ro, during this golden evening hour, in a space where they were blasting the songs that had been playing everywhere lately, silence sometimes felt present. When the noise was too loud and too chaotic, any moment of quiet would make even the softest sound feel like it was tearing through your ears.
…She looks bright, but she must have her own hardships too.
Professor Kim’s words about wounds floated back into my mind. Maybe everyone sitting at this table carried their own scars?
“You don’t have to worry too much. It’s just an internship after all. The clients aren’t coming in with huge expectations either. The professor probably feels the same.”
…After I said that, Professor Kim’s daughter came to mind. I couldn’t afford to half-ass this.
“Right? It’s like just stepping out for a quick neighborhood walk, yeah?”
I’d meant it as comfort, but a bitter note crept into Han Jieun’s voice. The way her fingers gently stroked her glass looked heartbreaking.
“…Well, if it doesn’t go well, that might be okay in its own way. Everyone here wants to become professional counselors later, right? If we can learn from hard experiences, it’s actually good for our careers. And everyone at this table will help you if you’re struggling. After the internship ends, how about we share what we’ve learned and form a study group? If you make one, I’ll join too.”
My bad habit had come out again. I didn’t really want to join anything, but to erase the uncomfortable feeling in the moment, I had chosen the option that would make things harder for me.
“Really? You promised!”
Han Jieun waved her pinky finger to seal the memory, then smiled at me again. It was a beautiful smile. Maybe it would be okay if I struggled a little.
“Sunbae’s good with words, huh~? You must have made quite a few girls cry.”
The person sitting next to me had finished their conversation and somehow jumped onto ours.
“I’ve cried because of girls plenty of times.”
Well, it was the truth.
“Pfft! At least you won’t be crying from now on.”
The mood brightened again. In that lighter atmosphere, my eyes drifted toward Jeong Soyeon. She was smiling too, just a little. The first gathering had been a success.
“Ugh… Bleeegh.”
A hot foreign substance rose up my throat. I had been calculating my drinking limit carefully, but that stupid habit of drinking something every time I finished speaking after thinking too much had made me drink far more than I should have. I should have had water, but the atmosphere made me grab alcohol instead. Vomiting alone wasn’t easy, but I managed to get it all out. My stomach felt better.
“Sigh…”
I flushed the toilet and rinsed my mouth. The gathering seemed to be winding down. No matter how you looked at it, this was too harsh for our generation that couldn’t even go on MTs because of COVID. Actually, now that I thought about it, they probably couldn’t go either. We never expected the pandemic to drag on for so long.
I opened the bathroom door and stepped out. Jeong Soyeon was coming out of the women’s restroom at the same time. She had gone in much earlier than me—had she been in there the whole time?
She glanced over me briefly.
“Jihyun, you drank quite a bit, huh.”
She had clearly noticed I’d thrown up. No point hiding it.
“It’s a welcome party for the freshmen. The freshmen have to drink, right?”
I wiped my mouth with my sleeve again.
“Use this.”
Mouthwash? She handed me a small bottle of Listerine.
“Ah… Thanks.”
In moments like this, it was better to accept someone’s kindness rather than refuse. Giving something to others was a nice mood booster for people too.
“Gurgle gurgle… Ptoo.”
I wasn’t very good at gargling, but thanks anyway. I stepped back outside. She was waiting just beyond the bathroom door.
“Thanks. At least I can save face in front of the others.”
“What face?”
“I am their senior, after all.”
“You look like the youngest one here though?”
“Thanks for the compliment.”
It was time to head back to the table. Everyone was probably getting ready to wrap things up.
“Wait a second.”
Jeong Soyeon grabbed my sleeve.
“After this, want to drink more, just the two of us?”
My whole body recoiled at the word “drink,” but the words “just the two of us” pulled me in strongly.
“I pretty much emptied everything, so I need to fill it back up somehow.”
She smiled faintly. I’d thought a smile wouldn’t suit that haughty face, but it actually looked good on her.
“After everyone leaves, call me in ten minutes.”
She held out her hand. I handed her my smartphone. The sound of tapping on the screen was heard for a moment, then her own phone vibrated. The phone returned to my hand. The most recent call log showed 010-OOOO-OOOO. She gave my back a gentle push.
“You go first. So no one notices.”
“Sunbae, don’t trip on your way home~”
Han Jieun gave me one last greeting as I got into the taxi.
“You too. Don’t pass out on the street.”
The taxi door closed. The remaining members waved goodbye and split up, each heading toward their respective subway stations or bus stops. I walked slowly down the street before making the call. The ringtone sounded briefly before it connected right away.
“It hasn’t been ten minutes yet, but everyone’s already gone, so I called when I thought it was safe.”
“I walked over using my own judgment too.”
When I turned around, I saw her. She was walking slowly toward me, and I walked slowly toward her. Her face became clearer. Her hair, darker than the night street itself, swayed with each step. Her haughty yet elegant figure gradually filled my vision. Her captivating eyes, which I had to look up at slightly, drew me in.
Looking at her, I felt it again. She really was beautiful.
As cheerfully and playfully as possible, I said,
“So, should the aunties and uncles go have one more quick drink?”
“Our baby is surprisingly impatient.”
She laughed. It looked like I wouldn’t be sleeping in my own bed tonight.