A New Beginning (3)
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-four… ma’am.”
“Younger than me, then.”
The wine was deceptively strong. I hadn’t even had that many glasses, yet the alcohol was already speeding up my heartbeat, flooding my body with a strange mix of euphoria and bone-deep exhaustion.
“From now on, call me Noona.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Excuse me?”
“…There’s already someone I call Noona.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean? That’s ridiculous.”
“Besides, I don’t use terms like that with my clients.”
“Even if it’s counseling, does it have to be this rigid? You’re being too cold.”
“In a counseling relationship, it’s not healthy to get too close.”
“Yeah, yeah~ Whatever you say.”
She sliced her steak into perfect bite-sized pieces with practiced ease, swallowed, and immediately drained her wineglass. She was too free-spirited to call formal, yet too refined to call crude. The moment her glass emptied, a waiter hurried over to refill it.
“So, should I expect our sessions to be more entertaining than when I talk to the director?”
“…Why did you make things so difficult for the director?”
She answered without hesitation. “What do you mean? I simply opened up about what was really on my mind. Isn’t that what counseling is?”
She cut another piece, fixed me with a piercing stare, and took an oversized bite.
“What you did was use your so-called inner thoughts as an excuse to toy with him.”
The staff brought another round of food—french fries and a hamburger this time. The familiar dishes felt oddly comforting. The moment the waiter set the plate down, she shoved her empty steak dish at him and started on the new items. I gave the waiter a small, grateful bow on her behalf.
“You eat more than you look like you would.”
“And you eat less than you look like you could, apparently?”
“No, I’m just holding back because I’m busy talking.”
I cut my own steak as neatly as possible, trying not to seem like a complete novice, and lifted it to my mouth. Ah… steak really is incredible. Eating food I’d normally only have on special occasions lifted my mood considerably.
“Good, isn’t it?”
“It is.”
We both kept cutting, chewing, and swallowing without pause.
“The wine costs ten times what your food does. Does it not suit your taste?”
“No, I’m just drinking slowly so I don’t get drunk.”
We exchanged a few more words, then immediately filled our mouths again. It felt like the right time to focus on the meal rather than conversation. The silence actually created a more pleasant atmosphere.
I was full.
“It’s a pretty decent place, right? The food isn’t bad.”
“It’s an excellent place. The food is outstanding.”
The staff cleared away the empty plates. She stopped them from taking her wineglass. Wiping the corners of her mouth with a napkin, she turned to me again.
“So, what’s your name?”
“Kim Jihyun.”
She kept her eyes locked on me as she drained her glass again. I couldn’t understand how she maintained that figure while eating and drinking like this. I took another sip myself.
“Starting today, you work under me.”
“No. Starting today, you are receiving counseling from me.”
“Which means you follow me around.”
“I’m sorry, but I’ve decided not to get too close to my clients anymore. We’ll only meet inside the counseling room.”
“You’re doing this for money, aren’t you?”
“That’s true.”
“Wouldn’t it be simpler if you just took a lifetime’s worth of earnings from me?”
I thought about it for a moment.
“That does sound nice. Money is very important. I want to buy expensive, delicious meals like this for my family. I want them to live comfortably someday… But—”
“Right, so starting tomorrow—”
“—But I also genuinely want to be a counselor. I can earn enough through counseling, and I plan to make enough to buy things like this for my parents. So, I must decline.”
She stared at me as if I were some strange creature. “Why?”
“I just explained why.”
“No. Be honest.”
“Well…”
I reconsidered my words.
“Honestly, part of why I refused earlier was pride—I didn’t want to accept what you were offering. I was also trying to play a little hard to get.”
“Good. I like honesty.”
“But after thinking it over again, I really do hate the idea.”
“…What?”
After I finished speaking, I analyzed my own feelings and took another sip of wine. The aroma was nicer than I’d expected. When I started earning properly, I decided, I should drink wine more often.
“Why do you hate it?”
“Even if I worked under you, I don’t think I could endure it for long.”
“What?”
“When choosing a career path, do you know what you should be looking for?”
“Money or passion—one of the two, right?”
“No. In my opinion, you should choose work you can grit your teeth and endure for an entire lifetime.”
“…”
“For some people that’s money. For others, it’s the dream they truly want.”
The woman looked at me.
“Then what kind of work can you endure, Mr. Counselor?”
“Work that lets me become a source of strength for as many people as possible.”
“Wouldn’t working under me make you a source of strength for me?”
“But then the people who never get to meet me… they’d have nowhere to turn. I want to be someone many people can lean on.”
“So you’re going to spend your whole life meeting every kind of mentally disturbed person out there?”
“Yes.”
She downed an entire glass of wine in one go.
“You’re actually insane.”
“That’s why I’m a counselor.”
The night had already grown dark, transforming the entire atmosphere of the space. I didn’t know which hotel this high-end lounge belonged to, but it was clearly the work of master architects. The cozy glow of the lights replaced the darkened view outside, seeping deeply into everyone seated at the tables.
Or maybe I was just drunk.
“This is the first time I’ve ever sat here this long.”
“It’s a shame you’ve missed such a beautiful atmosphere until now.”
“Want to sleep here?”
“No. As I said before, I don’t want to become too deeply involved with clients anymore.”
“I don’t have any mental illness.”
“In today’s world, everyone’s a little mentally ill if you look closely enough. Myself included.”
“So when can I come?”
“Monday is reserved for another friend’s session, so please choose any day except Monday.”
“Every day except Monday.”
“I may start taking other clients soon. Please compromise. Even then, two sessions a week is the maximum.”
“Then Wednesday and Friday.”
“What time?”
“What’s the longest session allowed per day?”
“Two hours maximum.”
“I’ll be there at three.”
She took another sip of the wine that had already been refilled. “Before we sign any contract, will you tell me your name?”
“Lee Yujin.”
“Would it be all right to call you Yujin?”
“I don’t like being called Yujin by someone younger.”
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-six.”
“We’re both just growing older together—what’s the problem?”
“You’re full of it.”
Lee Yujin laughed.
“Call me whatever you want. Where are we writing this contract?”
I held out my pinky finger.
“We have to pinky swear. I don’t trust contracts written on paper. We need to share our hearts with our pinkies.”
“You’re genuinely stupid. Are you drunk?”
Lee Yujin laughed as if I were an idiot and extended her own finger.
“Foolish actions are often the right answer.”
We hooked our pinkies together with light pressure.
“Now we are bound as counselor and client by this promise. I must help you, Yujin, grow beyond where you are now, and you must learn to believe in and accept both me and yourself.”
“Yes. Promise.”
After releasing my finger, Yujin lifted her still-partially-full wineglass and looked at me.
“I’ve always thought clinking glasses was how hearts are shared.”
“If that’s what you want.”
Our glasses met with a clear, ringing sound. With a faint tremor still lingering in our hands, we emptied them.
It was getting dizzy, but one last glass to finish things off seemed…
…I’m going to lose my mind.
I never wanted to feel this sensation again.
The film had cut out, and I’d woken up in a place I’d never seen before. Completely naked.
As if that weren’t enough, a headache stronger than soju slammed into me. I really needed to be more careful with wine.
“Ugh… I’m screwed…”
Hearing the faint sound of a running shower, I forced myself upright to regain my senses. Though I’d never seen this place before, even my pounding head could tell I was somewhere incredibly luxurious. The refreshing view outside only made me dizzier.
No. Please…
The shower stopped. Footsteps grew louder. I snatched up my clothes and prayed desperately to any god listening. The bathroom door opened.
“Ah, you’re awake, sir?”
A middle-aged man with an impressive physique stepped out. I had no idea what was going on.
“The young lady assigned me to guard you… I thought you’d be waking soon, so I prepared a bath.”
Thank god I didn’t sleep with Yujin. And thank god I didn’t sleep with this man.
“You don’t need to speak formally to me. Also, I’m sorry for speaking so harshly to the young lady yesterday.”
“Not at all. Breakfast is available at your leisure starting now. The young lady anticipated a severe hangover and arranged a late checkout, so you may remain in the room until four p.m. From twelve to two-thirty, the first floor…”
My head was spinning. The excessive kindness left me unsure how to respond. I had already enjoyed far more luxury than I deserved.
“…and checkout can be completed after you rest in the lounge on the third floor.”
“Please tell her she doesn’t need to go that far… Actually, never mind. I’ll tell her myself next time. Thank you for your consideration. I’m fine alone now, so you can stop guarding me and go.”
“I cannot. The young lady ordered me to guard you. She also instructed me to escort you home after checkout. If my presence disturbs you, I’ll wait outside.”
His unwavering professionalism was genuinely admirable.
“No… The room is large. Please sit wherever you’re comfortable.”
“I must remain standing.”
“…I see.”
“I’ll wait outside. Please rest comfortably and don’t mind me.”
He left the moment he finished speaking.
The sheer excess of it all made me sigh.
Following the man’s explanations, I enjoyed everything the hotel had prepared and savored the lavish feast by myself. Whether breakfast or lunch, it was a buffet of astonishing quality. I couldn’t understand how the grilled flatfish could possibly taste so good. I don’t even particularly like fish, yet I kept going back for more.
Hmm… It would seem rude to leave prepaid food untouched, so I ate everything, but a twinge of guilt remained. Is it really okay for someone like me to eat this?
I thought of my mother and father. Their eyes would go wide with delight if they came to a place like this; they’d wander around so happily. Eating alone made me feel a little sorry.
I wonder if Jimin has tried food like this. Her family is quite well-off—maybe they’ve come here occasionally?
…What about Noona?
The moment I thought of her, the food in my mouth turned dry as sand. I couldn’t tell whether the food had suddenly gone cold or if something was rising in my throat.
I gulped down the sparkling water I’d brought along, forcing the old memories back down.
Please, just forget.
I drank until my throat burned and tears stung my eyes.
Please, just forget.