Blade of Obsession
I lie to my noona. "How did it go...?" "Yeah, it went pretty well." The fear that she might find out someday begins crawling up from the darkest corners of my subconscious.
Even while wrapped in her arms, the thought of Jimin's call that could come at any second keeps ringing in my ears. My smartphone is usually quiet, with no reason to ever ring, but today it feels like a bomb strapped to my body, filling me with dread.
Should I just tell her the truth? If I stay silent now, I'll definitely have to meet Jimin alone later. But if I speak up, noona will snatch my phone immediately, call her, scream every curse she knows, or block her on the spot.
"Um... noona." "What?"
"...Never mind."
That single phrase locks my mouth shut. It clearly isn't sincere, yet it keeps dragging up the image of Jimin's suicide. The thought hits me hard: I wanted to stand by people in pain, but I might be the one who ends up killing someone.
Even if she dies, it's not my fault. I repeat it over and over inside my head, trying to push the anxiety away, but Jimin's words torment me too deeply to escape.
"Oppa! It's been forever~"
Jimin, dressed to the nines, thrusts herself forward like she's showing off a trophy. "How do I look? I clean up pretty adult, right?"
"Yeah... you look mature."
"Great! So today really is a date for just the two of us, huh?"
The word "date" makes my head throb. Noona's face flashes in my mind.
"...Yeah. It is."
The girl beams with pure joy. "First date~!! I'm finally on a date with oppa!"
She grabs my hand and pulls me along. "It's near my house, so I'll lead the way. Next time we'll go to school for sure, so you have to lead then. Promise!"
I have no idea what I'm doing. I just let her drag me away.
"Oppa, what do you think? It's seriously delicious, right!"
"Yeah, it's not bad."
I pick at the pasta on the plate in front of me, but my stomach is in knots. I keep picturing what noona would do if she saw me eating with Jimin like this. Every terrifying, nightmarish future plays out in my head.
"Hmm... Oppa, you don't seem happy at all, do you?"
"...Of course I'm not."
"Aish! How can you act like this on our first date!"
The girl puffs her cheeks in complaint, clearly hurt. "Oppa, you're way too much of a coward. That's your problem."
She sulks and loudly sips the drink she ordered. "Well... still, that's exactly why we're this happy together today, right? ♡"
The way she flips back to a bright smile in an instant terrifies me. The hand twirling pasta and pushing it toward my mouth terrifies me too.
"Say ah~! Haven't you ever done this before? Or have you two only been fucking all this time?"
She laughs and waves the fork. "Come on~ Aaaah!"
I open my mouth and take it.
...It's delicious. The fact that it tastes good only makes my heart hurt worse.
"Okay! What's Oppa's favorite song?"
"I just... prefer listening."
"Total loner vibes~ But hey, that's your charm! Keeps all the other rags from latching onto you."
She spits out the crude words, then immediately smiles sweetly while picking a song. I watch her.
"Jimin, why the hell are you doing this to me?"
"You know this one, oppa? Maybe it's too new for you?"
"Why does it have to be me...? There are so many other guys. Why me, of all people?"
"Ah, I don't know~ I'll just sing this."
"I already have a girlfriend. I can't accept your feelings, Jimin."
The intro starts. My words get swallowed by the music.
"Why are you acting like this toward me! I was doing fine with noona, but everything turned weird after I met you..."
The song flows out. It's already playing, but I can't hear Jimin's voice. I pull my hand away from my hair, lift my head, and look at her.
The microphone she should be singing into is still clutched in her hand, pressed against her hip. The faint sound of her trembling grip slips through the melody.
"...Oppa, you betrayed me first."
"What?"
"You betrayed me first... I waited only for you, but you got seduced by that trashy bitch and everything ended up like this..."
The mood plunges into ice. In that freezing silence, the bright, upbeat melody keeps playing, completely out of place.
"Two years."
"Two years...?"
"....I waited two years longer than that dog of a whore."
"What the hell are you even saying...?"
My body instinctively senses danger and screams a warning. I slowly back away from the girl near the door.
"Jimin, just calm down. Oppa will listen to everything you have to say, so let's step outside first."
"Oppa, we could have dated so nicely... right? Sweet and happy, way happier than you are with that bitch right now."
The hand gripping the microphone starts shaking violently.
Thud. The microphone drops. A long electronic screech cuts through the speakers. The girl opens the door and walks out.
The threat that felt aimed straight at me vanishes outside. My legs go weak.
"Haa... whew."
I grab my phone and slowly leave the karaoke room. The girl is already gone without a trace.
We've come pretty far, so I should catch a taxi. I open the app and set my location. No, better to reach a main road first.
"Oppa."
My feet stop dead. The girl's voice right behind me snaps every nerve in my body to attention.
"...Jimin, I don't know what you're thinking, but please reconsider."
A cold shiver runs down my spine. If I turn around now, she'll definitely lunge.
"Let's talk again, oppa. Okay?"
Human fear is born from imagination. We fear situations we can't understand, beings we can't understand, outcomes we can't understand. To grasp the unknown, we inevitably call on imagination, and that imagination has surely been crucial to humanity's survival. But how much imagination can a human truly overcome?
In modern society, those who have absorbed the knowledge and wisdom of countless ancestors find that their own imagination only cowers them further. Let's imagine nothing. Don't picture what Jimin might be holding. Intense fear eats away at the human mind.
The girl lifts the hem of my shirt just enough to let me feel it. She presses the sharp, freezing tool against my skin.
"If you don't follow me home right now, I'll stab you immediately."
Professor Kim...
"I'll stab you if you scream. I'll stab you if you turn around. I'll stab you if you speed up. I'll stab you if you stop. Move slowly, exactly as I tell you."
"Okay."
"If you make even one mistake, I'll stab you and then slit my own throat."
"...Okay."
I move slowly.
When we reach the front gate, the pressure against my back grows stronger.
"Ring the bell and say you're Kim Jihyun. Tell them you came to drop me off."
Ding-dong.
"...Professor Kim, it's Kim Jihyun. I brought Jimin home."
After a brief burst of static, Professor Kim's voice answers. "Ah, come in! I'll open the gate right away."
The gate swings open.
"Go inside."
If I don't turn and run right now, I have no idea what will happen to me in this house. But if I turn now, this girl will stab me without hesitation.
I picture my mother, my father, noona, my friends, every face I know. Okay. At least I won't die the second I step inside. Jimin wants me. She can't kill me. If I run, she'll kill me and then herself, but as long as I obey, she won't kill me. I have to survive first.
"Stop thinking and get inside, oppa."
Something sharp digs a little deeper into my waist.
"Ah... okay."
The pain there keeps growing. We reach the front door.
"If you try anything, I'll kill both you and Dad."
"I understand... so please, just calm down."
"No, that's not enough. Hand over your phone."
"..."
"Take it out slowly. I'll stab you."
As slowly as I can, I pull the phone from my left pocket and pass it behind me. I hear the dial tone, then the call connecting.
"Tell her you want to break up."
"What...?"
"Say it. Tell her to break up."
Pain flares in my waist again.
"Kk... ugh... O-okay."
"If that woman catches on, I won't kill her quickly."
"Hello? Jihyun, where are you? You said you were meeting a friend today. Why haven't you been answering since earlier..."
"Noona, let's break up."
"...What? What are you suddenly saying?"
"Let's break up. I'm tired of babying you."
The pressure against my back never eases.
"Jihyun...? Why are you acting like this all of a sudden...?"
"I don't want to see you anymore, so let's just break up."
"This is a lie, right? Why are you doing this? Tell me..."
I can't let my voice crack. I absolutely cannot cry.
"Ha... Just listen when I talk! I'm sick of it! Get lost, okay? I won't contact you again. Goodbye."
"W-wait!! Jihy—"
[Click.]
"...Happy now?"
"Now go inside."
The entrance hall. "Don't take your shoes off. Just go."
The living room. I hear Professor Kim's footsteps.
"Ah, Jihyun! Jimin said... uh..."
Professor Kim immediately senses the wrongness in the air.
"J-Jimin..."
A cold voice comes from behind me. "Don't get in the way. Get lost. If you breathe a word about this, I'll kill everyone."
Our eyes meet. I see every emotion in Professor Kim's face: shock, confusion, distress, terror.
"Open the door and go in."
Jimin's room. She closes the door behind us.
"Cough... ugh!"
In an instant, a foreign, searing pain explodes in my waist. I collapse under it.
"He... eek..."
"Oppa, just hold on a little longer..."
Stab!
The same agony spreads to my shoulder. It feels like my shoulder is being burned alive.
"Endure it just a bit more."
Waist. Shoulder. The pain detonates again and again. My hand flails automatically, searching for the source, but the girl grabs it at once and pins it down.
Tape wraps around my wrists.
"I'll fix you right away."
Tape seals my mouth too.
"Mmm... mmph... ugh!"
She yanks my legs straight and winds the tape tight. I feel something warm and ominous trickling down my side.
The girl speaks through sobs. "I'll... I'll fix it for you soon. Everything."
She runs out of the room. I hear brief voices outside, then she rushes back carrying something.
She hurriedly wraps bandages around the wounds.
"Huu... huuuph!"
"I'll put everything back the way it was."
"Oppa's wounds... our relationship... all of it..."
In the end, the girl breaks down in tears.