The Cold of His Voice
I hurriedly raised my hand to cover my face first, trying somehow to hide my resentment. It was a purely instinctive act.
“Ah…….”
My fingers, trembling violently, filled my vision. My wavering brow, my lashes, even my lips—none of it would obey me.
Ah, Antoni. You slept with her too, didn't you.
Even while we were still married. No—before we were ever married at all.
Damn you, Antoni. Just from the look in your eyes, just from the sound of your voice, I can tell.
I can see through your lies.
And you know it too, don't you? You know I'm speaking a lie.
That's exactly why you made this whole scene—to probe whether it was my true heart, isn't it?
In this very moment, a seething, boiling emotion surged up in me, fierce and unquenchable.
I loathe you most of all, Antoni.
I dream of nothing but your ruin.
But even if you shake me like this, I won't be so easily swept away. I'll deal in falsehood gladly—because I refuse to be honest with you.
No tears came. Instead, what spilled from me was a voice grown terribly, utterly cold.
“…Why is it that Selena doesn't come, and you come yourself? You could have sent someone.”
Ordering people around is what you do best, after all, Antoni.
“I told you just now, Reti. You came all this way, so I had to come see for myself. That is my duty.”
You madman. Every curse I couldn't give voice to repeated itself on the tip of my tongue.
“…You're the one who introduced me to the Marquis's house of Saturnga. You deliberately sent his son along with the delegation, didn't you?”
“The Viscount is a man who pursues a measured peace. His son is much the same.”
Antoni let out a long, rehearsed sigh.
“Haah. In the first place… Reti, a divorced woman can hardly manage on her own.”
Swallowing down the nausea that rose in waves, I squeezed my eyes shut.
“I worried for you then, and I worry for you now. I'm relieved to see you've put on a little weight, at least.”
A chill crawled over my skin.
Even from his voice alone, I knew what his face looked like. It was exactly the face he'd worn back when he fussed over me—the me who couldn't even eat properly and lived like an invalid.
“I take it the prince here treats you well? Is the food to your liking? The cuisine here is excellent, though I can't tell if it suits your palate. You were always too thin for your own good.”
That's none of your concern. The words circled in my mouth, and I ground them out one deliberate syllable at a time.
“He is an eminently sensible and honorable man. Don't speak of him carelessly.”
“Really, Reti… praising another man in front of me?”
Antoni showed no sign of retreating an inch.
I looked at him coldly. Not furrowing my brows too deeply, not raising my voice—that restraint was the best I could manage.
“He is my husband and the prince of this land. The only other man here is you, Antoni.”
Antoni sighed again. No matter how I looked at it, the lament felt manufactured.
“Hoo… hearing you say such things doesn't sit well with me, Reti. …I'll withdraw for now, since I can't be absent from my seat too long—but I'd like you to show me a little more consideration. The Reti I know surely would.”
Having rattled off his pointless speech, Antoni deliberately hesitated at the door, then left.
The moment he was gone, I exhaled.
“Haah…….”
It felt as though someone had been strangling me without mercy.
I wanted to scream and wail like a madwoman, even if they pointed fingers and called me vulgar for it.
Instead, I was brimming with the impulse to throw myself at Antoni, drive a knife into him, and carve him to pieces.
“Ugh… ugh……”
Nausea surged up without warning, and I leaned against the window, head hanging low.
All I could see was a garden bathed in light far too clean and clear. A forest bright with winter sun—branches growing straight and true, trees standing upright and unbent.
So very white, so very beautiful—a place utterly unlike the mess inside me.
“Haah… hah……”
I barely managed to stand on trembling legs, struggling to steady my ragged breathing.
Damn you, damn you, Antoni. Curse you, Selena. Curse the Kingdom of Francia.
It would have been better if I truly were the cursed witch they call me. It would have made it easier to tear those wretches apart.
“My breaking is exactly what they want…”
Attilenta, pull yourself together.
I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself toward rational judgment.
What did that man hope to gain by provoking me like this? Why now, of all times? Something had clearly nettled him.
I hadn't accomplished all that much since arriving here, but I had done a few things of consequence—the delegation gatherings, the information I'd passed to Henrik from various spies.
As I turned the problem over, it happened that I recalled an enemy I'd made here. Though the only person who'd shown herself openly was Tatra of House Biauby.
If he simply wanted to confirm I was alive, the delegation would have been enough. Or a letter.
Already I'd been unable to read him properly with magic, and it had left me feeling as though thorns were lodged in my chest.
To be certain of all this, in the end, I would have to meet Antoni again.
Damn you to hell, Antoni. I cursed him once more.
At that moment, I heard footsteps. I turned around at once.
“Your Highness…….”
Henrik stood with his back to the door, arms crossed, looking down at me. Quiet as a winter wind.
“You were with the Duke.”
I steadied my breathing quickly and feigned calm.
“What did you speak of.”
His voice was coldly measured, and I answered without hesitation.
“Nothing of any consequence.”
“That is a lie, Attilenta.”
My breath caught. His voice when he called my name was terribly low and cold—chilling enough to unsettle even me, who had faced him head-on all this while.
“At the banquet in Francia, that man never once spoke of you. He circled the hall with a woman at his side the whole evening—the same woman he introduced as an old friend of yours.”
Henrik swept his hair back with a flick of his hand. His eyes, now bared, were hardened into something very solid.
“And here, suddenly, he fawns on you—goes so far as to seek out time alone with you. You told me, quite clearly, that there was nothing between you and your former husband.”
I swallowed hard. There was, in truth, only one choice available to me. Whether I feared him or not, whether he learned everything or nothing—
Before Henrik, I must stand unbowed.
I walked to him very slowly and stood straight. And I looked directly into those amethyst eyes.
“Your Highness, there was no falsehood in what I told you then.”
“It is common sense here that husband and wife attend banquets together. Do the rules in Francia not bind couples the same way?”
All I wanted was to dissolve the cold cruelty on his face, that suspicion honed sharp as a blade.
“Your Highness, a moment.”
Urgency drove me closer still, and I whispered quickly.
“Do you suspect me… of being… a spy?”
“…….”
Henrik's gaze, fixed on me, and his breath poured into me, inescapable.
Honestly, I could understand him if I tried. He was a man forged on the battlefield. If his own weapon turned against his will and swung itself about, of course it would feel foul.
And the devotion I had once poured out for Antoni was an indelible past.
But I absolutely refused to be doubted by Henrik because of that traitor.
“I told you I would serve you with full loyalty. In all your watching of me, has there ever been a single sign of such treachery? There hasn't, Your Highness. And this time as well—whatever it was, your knight hidden somewhere will have heard every word of it, though I don't know who he is.”
“I have not yet heard everything he would report.”
Then I was certain. He had come to inspect his weapon himself, as I'd thought—before even hearing his knight's report. I spread both arms wide, as if offering myself up to him.
“Your Highness. I beg you—search me yourself, here and now. There was no bargain, no cipher, nothing.”
“Hoo…….”
Henrik let out a long breath. I stood pressed so close that I could distinguish the smallest movements of his brow and lips, and so I felt it keenly—
His unbending intensity had softened, if only a little.
“…That much, I do not doubt. You have already aided me three times.”
“Yes, and I have a fourth report to give you.”
I told him what I had read in the mirror, along with the several things that troubled me.
“…Very well, Your Highness. I will look into it further and give you the details.”
Henrik gave a slow nod. I looked up at him and asked, respectfully,
“If the misunderstanding is resolved… may I go out and hold your hand again, as before?”
Henrik's answer came without a moment's hesitation.
“Is that not the bargain?”
Deliberately, I pressed both palms against my cheeks and kneaded them for a moment. That would flush my face nicely—as though we had spent an intimate hour as husband and wife.
When I went back out, the banquet hall's mood was, thankfully, no different than before.
Still, in case something had slipped past me unnoticed, I planned to confirm it with Poznan the next day.
That night.
Seeing Henrik in bed, I swallowed hard.
For the first time since we had begun sharing a room, he was not lying with his back turned to me. Which meant that the man in that bed was looking directly at me.
“My lady, why do you stand there so still?”