First Impressions (2)
I head into the broadcast with my mouth sealed shut. My mouth itches like crazy, but I hold it in tight. Promises have to be kept. I clamp my lips to honor the promise.
And then... Moteok glances at me.
"Is that really it? For real?"
"There's more."
"What is it? Whisper it to me only."
Moteok tilts her ear my way. But I'm already in a pact with the devil. No words can escape me now. I lean in super carefully and whisper,
"I'm not telling you!"
I absolutely can't say it. It's a promise. Promises exist to be kept. If you're not gonna keep it, don't make it in the first place.
"Kuh... Why? Why're you sulking?"
I'm not sulking at all. Total misunderstanding. Misunderstandings snowball if you let 'em—if they get too big, you can't even touch 'em anymore. I've seen it with my own eyes... at a PC bang, not a coffee cafe. Two users fighting... Yeah, I know all about it.
"No, I'm not sulking. Total misunderstanding."
"Ooh, really~?"
"No, no, it's 'really.'"
I enunciate every syllable. Staring at Moteok while I do, and her face is full of smiles. This is... it. I've been had...! That expression... it's just like Dad's. The one after teasing me, when he'd grin and say, "Just kidding." Exactly like that. That's the vibe.
"Just kidding~"
Kuh. Had again. Knew it. Her face was exactly that face.
"Ugh... just as I thought."
"Hahahaha. What's with that face? It's so cute."
"No..."
It's the same. I fell for it. Ugh. So unfair. Unfair! I thought I had immunity. But I got done in by a variant from past exams. I could've dodged it, but I got careless. Thought I was over getting tricked like this... Next time, for sure, I won't fall for it. I clench my fist, vowing it deep.
But that backfires spectacularly.
"No! No! Sorry! Why, why're you clenching your fist? Let go!"
"Huh? Huh? No, that's not it. Misunderstanding!"
"What misunderstanding."
Disaster. I created another misunderstanding.
"Eek... so scary. Forgive me."
Moteok grovels. But... this feels kinda nice? Begging me for her life like that. Feels good?
"Uhuhu. Scared?"
"Yeah~ Scared."
"Me, who isn't scary at all. Scared?"
"Uhahahahaha. What do I do? What do I do?"
Moteok suddenly bursts out laughing. I can't make sense of this situation. Wasn't it scary? I'm dead serious. Tricked again? What's going on... I'll ask GPT later...!! To not forget, I pull out my phone.
"Why're you suddenly...?"
"Nothing. Nothing."
I secretly jot down my thoughts in the notes app to remember. Super secretly this time. Won't get caught. Absolutely. If it gets found, it'll get deleted again, so I hide it.
"Whatcha writing? Show me too."
"Nothing. Stream."
I stonewall Moteok's question. I write furiously for five minutes. Meanwhile, the two of them keep streaming. I finish writing and jump back in. The stream's still on first impressions. I catch the tail end.
"Good. If I were a guy, I'd date Moteok. For real."
"What? Why suddenly?"
"Just... 'cause you're great."
"If I were a guy, I'd court Maru unnie hard~"
"Aww, what~"
They're busy praising each other. I wanna join, so I time it.
"No~ Unnie started it first~"
"Me? When did I~"
"Unnie flirted first~"
"No? When. You did first~"
I'm just listening, then curiosity hits. "What're you two doing?"
"Ah! Sena-nim appears right on cue. Lemme ask you one thing. If Sena-nim were a guy. Maru unnie or me? Who?"
"...If I were a guy?"
"Yeah. Pick one."
This is tough. I think hard. Me as a guy... guy... Way too hard. 'Cause right now, my view's biased. Not judging purely on first impressions of Maru-nim and Moteok-nim... All the impressions I've built up are crystal clear, hard to erase. Honestly, if it was pure first sight, it'd be Moteok-nim. Face a tiny bit lacking, but hey, the baby won't starve. Harsh take on Moteok-nim: "If she was born in medieval times, she'd be a baby-making machine." If seeing Moteok-nim doesn't make you wanna impregnate her, you're no man. Those voluptuous breasts—if they don't get you hard, you're a criminal. Even gay guys would get hard for Moteok-nim. Fact.
Maru-nim? Super cute face. Crystal-clear voice. Honestly, perfect except one thing. But that one thing's a dealbreaker.
"Hmm... really tough."
So tough. If Moteok-nim was just a bit smaller, it'd be instant Maru-nim. From what I overheard at lunch, Moteok-nim's H-cup. Maru-nim asked why no half-cam? Turns out she tried... failed twice... Then why no cam? She said no. Maru-nim said seduce a rich heir. Moteok-nim: "Meh?" Overheard and was shocked. Even H-cups can flop. World's not easy. Huge realization. No, no, gotta think. Thinking!!
"If guy... if guy... tits or..."
"What!! Don't fall for tits. They're nothing. Just knead the ass, that's it. Don't get fooled."
Maru-nim chimes in. Sour grapes from the have-not. The haves just smile smugly.
"Wanna feel?"
"...Eek"
Bold as hell, breath catches.
"Feel what. Even if you feel, it's nothing."
Maru-nim, pissed, gropes someone else's chest, then curses.
"Damn, they're huge. Fuck. Bullshit."
"Aang."
"What aang."
"Gotta cash in too. Recruiting backup boyfriends."
"Fuck."
Should I feel too? Nah, I don't. If I do... I can never pick Maru-nim. To protect Maru-nim... my respected Maru-nim... I think of it.
"Uh... ah! Picked!"
Huge idea.
"Who?"
"Who?"
"Both."
"Both no."
"Aww~ One only."
I shake my head. "In the worldline where I'm president and make polygamy legal, I pick both!"
Huge idea. My own, but genius. Untouchable perfect solution. Even Doctor Strange couldn't find that worldline. I did.
"Epic, right? In the worldline where I'm a guy, you're both mine! Uhuhu. Uhuhuhu."
I grin like an idiot. Fools and geniuses are a hair apart. Am I actually a genius? Epic. Epic. Both. Both. Both.
"Both come here!!"
Uhuhu. Uhuhu. That's a cool guy move. How cool. Built a worldline with no tears. Too perfect... I check chat first.
Everyone's busy in awe. I feel epic too—of course!!
"How was that for everyone?"
I beam proudly at them both.
"No, no... so who's the main wife?"
Moteok asks. Fufufu. Easy question. Obviously.
"Age order! Maru-nim's the main wife!"
"Guhk... Huh? I'll be concubine? No. Ah."
"Good. Good. Age order. Good."
"Do it by tit size."
"No."
I shut it down firm. Even in a perfect worldline, Confucianism stands. Protecting Confucian ways is a given. Age order it is. That's true Confucian start.
"Got it... So now... We've covered first impressions... Next stream?"
"Sure~ Everyone have fun today? Let's chat proper next time."
Maru-nim and Moteok wrap up in a flash.
"Already? 2 hours 34 minutes... that's 'already'?"
Maru-nim checks the time. When did it get this late?? Over 2 hours already? We barely did anything? Time flew. Epic. This is big corp collab power. I can't help but admire.
Maru-nim queues the end song and ends stream lightning-fast. No room for me to chime in. After, I give Maru-nim and Moteok toothbrushes. Spread blankets in the living room. Spreading blankets feels like pajama party vibes. Nice. Would've been great with Raming too... Shame.
"Hmm..."
I hunker on the sofa. Hear Moteok brushing teeth from the bathroom.
"Eh (Why), geuroseo (do that)?"
Look up—Moteok's staring while brushing.
"Thought of Raming 'cause she didn't come."
"Ehehe (Aha)."
"Trip together later would be fun."
"O! Jjeotneunde (Sounds good)?"
Moteok ducks into the bathroom, comes back out.
"Sounds good? Trip later?"
"For real?"
"Why not? Raming'd be perfect. Me, Maru unnie, Sena-nim. Raming... Spot on."
"Other members?"
"Eh... Meh? Just us~"
Moteok flashes a bittersweet smile. I say nothing.