Birth of the Jjang Girl Crew
The talk about the new crew's offline meetup keeps going back and forth. At first, everyone thought it was just a joke. They keep asking me over and over. "So you're really gonna meet up? For real?"
"Yeah. I gotta see my friends' faces. Moteok-nim, you can come too."
"Whoa, we're actually doing this? Insane. Hey Jjang-oppa, guess when we last met up with our crew."
Suddenly? A riddle? Hmm... but this one's kinda tough? I know from streaming myself. Meeting up with friends is sneakily hard. Even though I stream after lunch, it still ends at dawn. For streamers like us... unless it's an off-day, meeting people is tough. I have to take a full day off just to see anyone.
Taking that into account... Hmm... A month? Nah. They're crewmates, so a week? But meeting too often isn't good either. My parents were harmonious when they were busy, but once they spent more time at home, they started arguing more. Mom said you gotta see each other occasionally to keep it good—seeing each other every day just annoys you. Dad said work days were better. Being stuck together all the time shows flaws, gets on your nerves, pisses you off.
Considering that... 15 days feels right? But for bonding, a week could work too. Tough. Really tough. A week or a fortnight. Such a hard dilemma.
I agonize and pick a week. "Once a week."
They're crewmates after all. For that camaraderie, we gotta meet this much. That's how you build that we're in this together vibe.
"Huh? A week? What... that's ridiculous. When did we last meet? Like 10 months ago? Right? New Year's collab."
"Yeah, that time. Uh... yeah."
"Huh?"
Super shocking statement. What does that mean? They're crewmates. What are crewmates? Don't they know what crewmates are? Going through tough times together... advancing side by side. That's crew. This is business... not a team.
"For real? Not kidding. Dead serious?"
"Is it that surprising?"
"You kidding?"
"Why?"
No, people are so heartless. Don't they know what crewmates are? I put huge meaning into being crewmates. Trudging through rough roads together, laughing all the way... that's crew... My dream's shattered. No, it's fine. They're not my crew. Not my crew.
Yeah. Yeah... I console myself and cling to my sanity.
"No... Crewmates are... always together... through hard times and good... Didn't you watch One Piece? Hunter x Hunter? Naruto? Even villains stick together for life... that's crew..."
I don't know recent anime. But old ones? I watched 'em. The crew in those... lifelong. Even villains till death. That's crew.
"Hahahaha-lol. No, Jjang-oppa's so cool. So if we become crew, it's for life?"
"Yes."
"Ooh, sounds good?"
"Moteok... Moteok-nim, even if you hiatus, invite me to your wedding. Don't forget me."
"Huh?!!!! No, I'm not getting married. You gonna get married, Jjang-oppa?"
"I can't get married."
Of course, no plans, but even if the devil held a knife to my throat saying marry, I couldn't. Me, me... no friends, can't do it. How embarrassing. Everyone else has 30, 40 guests... I got none. Just parents... how humiliating. Like, begging Mom, Dad, fill the seats with your friends cuz I got none... Argh! No way. Absolutely not.
So I'll never marry. Sure, that's 40% of it—the rest 60% is fear. Scary. My parents... super close. Happy. Well-off. Yet they fight a lot. Once Mom got mad and stormed out, even threatened separation. Dad groveled, Mom won. Vice versa too. Seeing that... it hit me.
Can I stay married forever without divorcing? Worry creeps in. And... will they understand my low IQ? Starting from there... will they get all of me? Put up with my chatter? Can I treat them right? Can we both understand everything? Healthy love? Endless chain of fears made me give up.
When did I think this? Probably during public service. A hyung working with me was 30. What was it? Said he was late cuz of grad school? Something. That hyung... now married, shows baby pics nonstop, insists you gotta marry. Us same-age recruits called him the marriage evangelist. Always: gotta marry. I didn't recommend it before... but kids change your mind. Must marry. Must have kids. Kids are marriage's flower and start. Wife's good sometimes, bad sometimes. But kids? Pure joy. Really get living for them. Every day.
That got me seriously thinking about marriage. Wonder if he's doing well now.
"Can't? Why?"
"Me... no friends. No guests. Embarrassing... if no one comes... So I declared single life. That's 40%."
I say shyly. Kinda pathetic, but true. Real reason.
"Khkhkh."
"Pfft. No, kekeke... Yeah, fair. Yeah. Pfft. Uh. Yeah."
"No... Jjang-oppa's reason is so MZ. No... just make friends. Worst case, spam invites to collab folks. Boom, friends? Reason's so pathetic I wanna refute it."
"There's a way like that..."
Didn't know. Really didn't. Wow, big corp's different. Breadth of thinking.
"Whoa... really... Moteok-nim, you're getting married? Spamming invites?"
"Me? I vowed lifelong single. For fans, I'll stream forever."
"Ah! Celibacy vow? No boyfriend ever vow?!"
I did that too recently. What was it? Single life vow? Similar pledge. Right after, fans showered donations.
"Yep~ That's it."
"Ooh! Moteok-nim got tons of supers from that?! I did too. Ehehe. More? No-marriage vow. Lifelong streaming vow... no beef vow... read chat diligently vow... Woulda made bank, right? Ehehe."
No sooner do I finish than two bursts of laughter shred my speakers. What's so funny. They laugh forever.
The chat, dead from power outage vibes, finally livens up again. Did I say something that wild? Can't judge myself.
"Yeah... yeah... Uhahahaha. For real. Jjang-oppa. Jjang-oppa... I'm dying. This is why I love Jjang-oppa? No... uhahahaha."
"No, I love it too. First streamer like this. For real."
What exactly do they love? Can't understand their reactions. Laugh points differ per person, I guess. I wait.
"Haa... so fun. So we're really meeting? Like, for real like this?"
"Yes. Moteok-nim... Raming... Maru-nim. Us. Meeting. Like this."
"Who's making the meme?"
"Dunno!"
"What is this. Ah, K-promise."
"K-promise? No."
I'm lacking decisiveness, not execution. I agonize dozens of times before spending, but once I do, I go big.
"Then leave numbers in Discord. I'll make the group chat."
"Wait, serious? Can't back out now."
"Yes."
I glance at chat. I didn't cross a line, right? Not being clueless again? Worried... I'm the lowest rank, pushing without noticing... Kinda scared, check.
"Gasp... No. Guys... please."
"What's up? Why?"
Ah, said it with mic on. Too embarrassing... Been feeling it... In streams, "Jjang" ain't always good.
"Ah, no... In my chat, they called us Jjang Girl Crew... Can't show my face."
Clap clap clap. Applause and choking laughter, plus Raming's urgent voice hit at once.
"So it's from Sena's nickname Jjang + all girls... Right?"
"Dunno."
"No, it is."
"It is."
"Fine, done. Almost a misunderstanding."
"Yeah. We're Korean girls. Han-nyeo! Han-nyeo Crew. Right, Jjang-ham?"
"KyaAAAAAAAA. KyaAAAAAAAA."
Raming suddenly screams full blast. Ears nearly fall off.
"Got it. Won't do it. Won't. Stop yelling. No sound terror."
"For real?"
"Yeah. Won't. So... when's Maru-unnie coming? Let's escape now."
"Ah, then quick, send contacts in Discord. I'll make Kakao group."
"Ah, right. Yeah. Sending now. To Jjang-oppa?"
"Yes."
I open Discord on my phone. Save Moteok-nim and Raming's numbers, add as Kakao friends, even make the group chat.