Escape?! (3)
I got to catch up on some much-needed rest thanks to my pushed-back schedule, and fired up the stream at 7:40 PM.
As soon as I went live, the viewers welcomed me warmly.
"Ah, hello everyone. Sorry I'm late. It's not technically tardiness... just late."
Did I say I'd come at 2? Hmm... I don't remember. But since so many are saying it, maybe I did.
"Alright, I admit it. I was late. Sorry. I'll come early next time."
I reflected. Truly reflected.
"Come on in, everyone. Let's do our best today too."
"Whoa! Ten thousand won. Thank you! No idea. I just said it off the cuff, don't remember."
"Because of that, Moteok-nim... it was the vaccine, couldn't be helped."
There's a lot to say about this. Thanks to me, Moteok-nim got to clear it up, and we fact-checked she's single. She should be thanking me. I deserve the praise.
"So everyone... now you can love her forever, right?"
"Well then. Oh, collab time, so let's collab."
Glancing at the clock—7:53 PM. Perfect timing to join.
This time, luckily, only Maru-nim and I were there. Raming and Moteok-nim weren't yet... phew! Second place this time.
"Hello! Maru-nim. Hope you have an energetic day today!"
I greeted her excitedly, feeling great.
"Hi Sena-nim~"
"Huh? You've been here?"
"Of course. It's collab time."
"But earlier, when I called, no answer."
"When?"
"Uh... around 7. I woke up startled from sleep at like 6:55? Jumped up and checked, and you were in Discord then."
Has to be right. Was that a dream? Too vivid for a dream. I called her two or three times, no response. I remember clearly.
"Oh! Ah, I was streaming. Had it on in advance."
"Aha... okay. But..."
Suddenly curious. Maru-nim's chill, so I can ask. Fire away!
"Why'd you just dip yesterday?"
What's with chat? Just curious, no bad intent. For real. Calm down chat. Whoa~ whoa.
"~You noticed?"
"Not noticed... I kept hearing everyone but no Maru-nim voice at the end. So what gives? Focused harder. Still nothing, so I asked and you said you ended stream."
"That was~ I snuck out 'cause it seemed like more chatting. Mute speaker mic and they'll know you left anyway."
"Aha...! That's how...!"
That's exactly what I wanted to do. In collabs, sometimes you gotta awkwardly eavesdrop. Sudden chit-chat starts, can't join either side. Hate listening but announcing exit might lead to talk later. Scary, so I stay... but saying nothing just builds isolation. They chat next games, what was fun, that sucked, nah this rocks—excluding me. Better to just leave... I've thought this tons.
Saying 'I'm off' is surprisingly hard. Looks easy, but huge resolve needed. Real resolve.
But sneaking out... Maru-nim's pro. Big corp level.
"Actually shouldn't do that..."
Huh? No...
"Should say 'I'm heading out~' and go. Yesterday head hurt bad, so... normally greet and leave."
No... then what about me? I was so moved. Ruined my. Give it back...
"No... I was totally moved..."
"Huh? Where's the moving part? No clue."
"Nothing."
"No, what? Where were you moved? Tell me. Curious."
Maru-nim grinning, so after a beat, I spilled.
"'I'm off' is hard... thought that's the way, but no."
"Ah... ahaha. Oh, that. Nothing special."
"Yup. Nada!"
Glossed over without details. Pointless anyway. My storytelling sucks. Can't even on stream... conveying fun without misunderstanding? Way beyond me. Practice later.
We logged into the server at 8:10 PM, plugged in relays, and farmed like maniacs for two hours. Normally dragged to tomorrow, but after meeting, decided on escape ending today—no objections even mid-meeting. I was thrilled when 'end today' came up. Time to quit. Sick of it. Smashing zombies daily wears thin. Wanna try other stuff.
Wait... what after collab? Didn't plan. Nothing to do. No personal content yet. Creating content's hell. Must amuse me first. Hardly anything does... lucky finds don't last. Viewers gotta like too. Tougher than self-amuse. I'm no tough cookie—total chicken. Chat blackout? Tears. Gaming? Too scared to check chat. That chicken.
"Everyone agree to today then?"
No, focus—not content time. Maru-nim wrapping up. Secret vote ideal... but show of hands? All agree. Apoc world secret ballot? Grateful for votes.
"I approve!!! Yes I do!!"
I yelled loud. Moteok-nim and Raming followed.
"Agreed~"
"Good good."
"Escape today decided. Thud thud thud. Final prep, depart in one hour."
"Got it."
Everyone prepped. Nothing much: load ammo, chamber rounds click-click... mood set. Chat. That's it. Not rushing. Chat'll go dark. Scary. What if no posts? Real sca—huh?
Don't check chat much gaming—they're having fun without me. Thanks. Chat flowing. Silence is my PTSD. Even this, grateful. Wanna hug 'em.
Having a blast. No room for me. Like I'm the outsider? This weird mix—happy but excluded... Humans selfish. Love it, but jealous. Why chat without me? Mute in-game mic and butt in? Tempted hard. Ruin their fun... no chat then? Worry they'll form clique sans me...
"Sena-ya. Sena-ya."
"Huh... huh? What?"
"What'll you do after escape?"
Deep in worry, Raming roleplays. Right, collab now—focus. Ignore chat.
"Me... uh... said before. VTuber."
"Oh, that was serious?"
"Yup. You?"
"Me? Bakery."
"Hmm... doesn't suit."
"Huh? What... what'd you say?"
Raming should VTuber.
"Raming-ah... you gotta VTuber. Voice... gets reactions. Real broth magnet... I'll clasp hands and beg. Know ASMR? Reaction vids... do that. You'd rock it."
True friends get blessings. Gazed earnestly at Raming.
"Uh... uh. Ah. Yeah? Then YouTuber? Bakery VTuber?"
"Great. Good call. Bakery girl's kneady ASMR. Title? Bakery Sis's Squish Squish Touch ASMR. Bakery Noona's Soft Soft ASMR. Good? Yours. Use it. Permission granted."
No friend like this... hehe. Chat probably exploding: Friend love is best. Jjang loves friends. Jjang's profound friend love. Wanna friend Sena too... etc. Not checking now. Hold till later. Heehee.