Shopping Spree, Leader Daydreams, and the Viewer Miracle
Alright~ Let's gather again tomorrow after another day passes... There's a collab stream today too. Collab at 7 PM, and it's only noon now, so plenty of time. That means I've got something to do. Well, more like I made something to do. I've decided to go shopping for the first time in ages. I've been living off delivery food forever, so it's time for some home-cooked... you know, cup ramen. The convenience store's right out front, right? Nah, nah. Might as well get some exercise while I'm at it? It's about a 20-minute walk to the large mart. No hills, all flat ground. Perfect workout route.
I crammed on some clothes. Yesterday the breeze through the window felt okay when I opened it, but today it's chilly. I trusted that window breeze and geared up properly before heading out. As I stepped outside, I even prayed the window breeze was telling the truth.
"Phew, good thing."
As expected. Windows don't lie. The wind always speaks the truth.
"Seriously, such a relief."
I don't get embarrassed easily, but there are times I feel it big time. Like when I realize I'm totally out of sync with the world. Picture this: I think it's cold, bundle up in my puffer jacket, and everyone's out in coats or light clothes... Just me in the puffer? Mortifying. But right now, it's all good. Everyone's dressed like me, so I'm not the weirdo.
"Whew... seriously, relief."
It's pretty chilly, but I walk thinking of it as a stroll. Walking aimlessly is boring, so I start daydreaming. What should I fantasize about...? Oh! Now that I think about it, too many options—disaster. Too much to choose from. Okay, pick one... Yeah! Perfect. What role should I play as the leader...? That'll do.
I slip into the daydream naturally.
"Hmm... As the leader, I gotta act like one. What's a leader's job? Gotta figure that out first."
I mutter to myself and pull out my phone. Search engine: "what does a leader do." Ugh... all weird stuff. When in doubt, only one choice. My pal GPT... you're the only one I can count on. I open the GPT app and ask the same thing.
Whoa... amazing. Smart friend for sure. But the first line hits like a wall. Provide strategic guidance and make decisions... How am I supposed to do that? Applying it to us means plotting an escape strategy and calling the shots, right? Too hard. I can't. I straight-up lack the ability... not just insufficient, it's nonexistent. Zero.
"What do I do..."
Sudden anxiety hits. This is bad. Really bad. The reason? I want to be leader, but I don't want the responsibilities—this weird conflict. I crave recognition a bit. Always wanna do well... wanna be acknowledged. Turns out everyone has that. Thought it was just me, but no. It's universal. Difference is whether you show it. I suck at holding back. If I can't do what I want, my whole body itches, and my brain whispers nonstop. Do it. Do it now... or no sleep? Do it quick... So I can't hold back. Pass up this golden chance...? I'd regret it forever, top of the worst-choice list in my dreams. Gotta keep the leader gig somehow. When else will I get to lead? Especially with Maru, Moteok, Raming. Me, leading big-corp stars?
"Euhuhuhuhu."
How could I give this up!! Argh! Seriously. Too good. Can't pass it up. When else will I lead folks like them!!
"Huh...? Oh?"
Somehow I'm at the mart already. Nothing melts time like daydreams. I strut right in.
"Phew... shopping's tough. So tough."
On the way back, I took a taxi. These days, spend 30,000 won or more and free delivery. Didn't worry about weight, loaded up good. Really stocked up on food. Hope it gets here quick. Excited. Gotta cook it up when it arrives. Me, planning to cook at home...? Massive progress. From instant ramen every day...! Hurry up, meal kit! Dongtaetang meal kit. Sounds delicious!
"Hmm... what time is it?"
2:30 PM. I got impatient waiting and ate some ramen. Used to love this game back in the day... now I just prune plants and quit. Was so fun before, but now it's meh. No clue why.
"Ugh, might as well start streaming."
Nothing to do, so just fire it up. Planned for 5 or 6 PM originally. Start too early, and later when it logs 13-14 hours, chat goes 'Whoa, stamina what?' 'Streaming this long?' 'New Sena's different.' 'Time to rest.' Thought they were worried fans at first, replied sincerely one by one. Nope. Some genuine, but mostly aggro bait or clueless like me. Burden I gotta bear, I guess. Nothing pressing now, so I hit go.
Started with no plans... but it becomes the best decision of my life. Accidentally turns into collab waiting room. How huge is this? 5 minutes after launch... solo stream... viewer count breaks 1,000.
"Hey everyone! Welcome... hehe."
"Viewer count'll crash back to delisting once collab starts... hehe... still feels good."
They'll all vanish at 7, but I'm thrilled. Really thrilled. Chat speed's always fire in my room, no big diff, but the numbers. This rocks. I sneak a peek at the site on my phone. Used to scroll forever to find my loner self... now just a few scrolls. Big corp magic. Big corp trickle-down. Nearly teary with emotion. Viewer spike breaks 1,100. Who knew this day'd come. Me, calling out my own viewer highs... Honestly, KOSDAQ fit me better than KOSPI. Peaks at 200-300, usually 100-200. Hanging with big corp streams doesn't boost you permanent. Gotta dominate to hold the pump. They come if you're meh, but one-day wonder. Fail to retain, back to square one. After a day, all but a tiny few bail to their homes. Can't? Email terror or murderstab incoming. Hehe. Seen it all. Pals who drank the poisoned chalice... my mentor who slacked and went inactive. Rust teammate who got main char syndrome and died. Seen 'em, so I'll hold these ones. If they leave? Fine... safe travels. Wave goodbye.
"See ya at 7. Hit your own streams hard in chat. I'll be back same time tomorrow. Alright~ Let's gather again tomorrow."
"Thanks to those sticking around... Wait, viewer spike at 1,300 now, but it'll drop at collab anyway, so this is goodbye time. You all agree? Our room's broth room! Only 200 Zang Partisans and 200 diehards stay. I know. Viewer's gonna fall. Still not my league. KOSDAQ. SenaKOSDAQ it is."
Why the sudden waterworks? These folks are so emotional. Way more than me. Fragile—poke 'em and they cry or laugh.
"Don't cry. Crying makes you a girl. Sniff."
Whoa. Dodging one word? Just meant stop crying. And 10 bil/month? Ridiculous. Better that obvious lie. Subtle ones like 800mil or 1bil? I'd buy it. How do I know? Embarrassing, but... I did. YouTube comment said girl VTubers start at 1bil/month base... believed it. No, snap out! I grab my focus back.
"Today's chat read. Cooking dinner for my girl power. Dinner. Or lunch tomorrow. Impressive, right?"
Topic switch to escape crisis. High risk, high return. Nail it, and we pivot hard. Success! On what, they ask. I declare proudly.
"Dongtaetang meal kit. Huh? This counts as cooking... Ramen? Just add water, not really cooking? But meal kits different. Saw stuff to do... Hey, if meal kits ain't cooking, what is?!"
Seriously, no clue.