Heart-Pounding Collab (1)
Collab time, and my heart's pounding. Pounding pounding. My heart is thumping like crazy.
Back then, killing zombies was so much fun that I gathered everyone for a collab. Not for the stream, but purely for my own enjoyment. But now... it's cooled off a lot.
"Tch..."
I've gotta do this for three days? Four? My head throbs just thinking about it. I should've paced myself. When I first started the game, it was so fun I went nuts, and now I'm burnt out.
"Hmm..."
"Ah... yeah. Hello everyone."
"Tch..."
I'm just saying hi 'cause I got nothing else to say.
"Sorryyyy! Time's dragging so bad. When's 7 o'clock already?"
Clock says 4 PM. Three whole hours till collab. Time's not moving at all. This sucks. It sucks so much, and complaining makes it suck even more... time still won't move. Won't move. And yeah, it really didn't.
"You want me to play Zomboid...? You guys could do it? Everyone knows it's at 7 tonight, right?"
"What're you all doing?"
The chat's suddenly turned into old folks staring at walls and muttering.
"Yeah, why's everyone acting up? Why the sudden... wall-staring?"
That hyped? Fantasizing like crazy? Okay, I fantasize a lot too. Fair.
"Ma... Maru! I'll come get you! Don't turn off the radio!! I'll rescue you!!"
I fantasize too. Done it enough to know.
"Thanks, JjangHam! Ehehehe. Already having fun, right? I'll punch zombies pow pow and rescue her. Everyone sees Sena and boom, awe 100%—no, 1,000%! They turn into devotees. Woo... whoa! Great Sena!!! Wait what?! Th... this is the Sena I know!!! Maru's glancing over, Moteok's courting, Raming's fidgeting. Suddenly I'm Great Sena!! Kyaaaa!!! Epic, right? Super epic, everyone?"
"Ah, thanks. Everyone can do it if you try. Don't give up hope. Let's level up our delusion together!"
You gotta practice to improve. Skip it, and you'll never grow. Like me, fantasize every free moment to skill up. "They're good but I'm not..."—quit that, you'll just spin in circles. Try even if you suck, that's how you find your true self. Of course, trying doesn't guarantee success. Fact. Look at me. I try everything but can't do it all. FPS? Still trash. AOS? Bottom tier. But trying lets me know what I suck at vs. what I'm good at, right? So you gotta try.
"Gotta try first. You agree?"
Talking it out eased the tension a bit. Mouth feels looser too. The fantasizing helped? Wanna game already. Show off my skills or something.
"Ah... ah."
Lightning just struck my brain—krakaboom. Like in detective manga, sparks flying, chills running down my spine.
Totally forgot. I... can't show off my skills. Broke Hako's rule like three... two hours ago, yelling it loud.
Oh no. Idiot. Idiot. Big trouble.
"What do I do? What should I do, guys? Should I show off?"
"Can I just do what I want?"
Wish someone'd just tell me straight: Do this. Do that.
"R... really?"
"Thank you!"
Donations give me power. Financial therapy cures all. Gotta take the hate too.
Anyway. Why's chat like this? What detail? I wasn't thinking grift at all.
"I... wasn't grifting. Misunderstanding, everyone."
Gonna stare-down like this, yeah? My streaming skills have leveled up. Watch.
"Hmm... O~~~ yeah. Think that, and donate more."
Be shameless to win. Our chat's a soup kitchen. No problem. That's what I've learned. I stick out my hand. No hand rigging yet, so VTuber hand just sits there—bummer.
"Hand out. Both hands out."
Started with one, now both. Really sucks. Hands out but not on screen.
"Gotta... upgrade hand rigging later. Hands out but you can't see? Super annoying. Gonna overhaul hands big time."
Old me wouldn't care, but now it bugs me. Not satisfied. Fix it next free time.
"Not grifting. Don't have to donate! For real. Really... but if you do... won't stop you. But seriously, no need. Honest."
Honest. No need to donate. But if you do, won't stop ya. Used to freak over big dons, now... just spend well. Good intentions, use for good.
"Thanks."
1k donations popping off. I take them, chat and mingle to kill time. Before I know it, 6:50. Collab closing in, tension creeps back from the grave.
"Phew... deep breath."
Big exhale to calm down.
"Joining Discord now."
Discord on—no one's there. I join anyway. Chat explodes the second I do.
"They'll come. I'm 10 mins early. Any sec now."
I wait. 8 min... still no. 6 min... no... 4 min... when? 2 min... gotta be soon. Sweat's cold. This ain't right. Y'all keep promises like clockwork, right? Joke's too far. I'm hurt? Come on. No more pranks. Aigh, scared me.
0 min. Please now. Late now? Huh? Why not here? Wrong day? No way. Panicking. Panicking. It's today. Not like them. Trolling me?
"You scared me! Jump scare! Prank over. Come on now. Right?"
"Huh? Huh?"
"For real? Ah, yeah. Thanks."
I joined the wrong room. Phew, check others—three already there. That's more like it. Relief. Real relief.