Confucian Girl (2): The First Time is Naturally Tough
Of course the first time is hard. If you're good right from the start, you're a genius. Most people are just average, and some aren't even that. The sad part about the world is that everything's calibrated for the average folks.
But people like us can't let that standard crush us. We have to keep pumping in positive thoughts to suppress that inferiority complex, right? Think different—if I, who isn't even average, can do it, then anyone can. Yeah, anyone can do it. Just do it. I'm the one who can give everyone that positive energy.
"You can do it, Raming! Let's power through together!"
"Uh... yeah. Sure."
"Euhuhu. Heehee. Yeah, that's right. This is how it should be. Finally, the world's spinning properly."
"No, Moteok."
"Hey! Not Moteok—call me unnie."
The first time can be tough. But you gotta try. If you try, you can do anything. Normally, I wouldn't be so sure. I've tried plenty and failed even more. Mom sent me to all those tutors, but I couldn't study. The teachers lasted two or three months at most before bailing. Music lessons were the same. Effort doesn't always pay off like that.
I even tried saving money and managing it—dabbled in secondhand deals. What was it? A computer, probably. Bought a "super value PC" for 300,000 won... Supposedly great for games and web surfing. I researched and compared a ton. But it was trash. I had no clue... A gaming buddy pointed it out. "Why'd you buy this garbage? You got scammed by thugs." He was right, and he fixed it up for me. That friend... We lost touch after he went to college, but he was a good guy.
Then there was that time I bought an online lecture pass to study. Used it for two days before the password changed. Online games? Got scammed there too. Thought I was smart about it, asked around, but still got duped. And that Dutch something—Dutchting? Put my account number everywhere and got hit. Had a guild, good gear, trusted it. Lost a bunch, but small amounts, so lucky...!
Oh yeah, almost fell for voice phishing too. But I got lucky...! Super lucky. Had like 520 won in my account. Totally bought it. Was during my public service. Phone rang, picked up without thinking. "Prosecutor's office. Your account's involved. Do crypto? Stocks?" I believed it... Tried some rational doubt, but no choice. Password locked after three fails...! They said it was involved—scary! Almost got got, but the scammer asked, "How much you got?" Told the truth: 520 won. "Other accounts?" "Oh, right! Salary of 350,000 won in three days!" Scammer: "Got it. We'll call soon." Hung up...
Freaked out, told Dad. He said voice phishing—never pick up unknown numbers again. Haven't since! Even changed my phone because of it. Parents said iPhone's secure, but couldn't use Play Store or 1Store coupons—super inconvenient. Whined "eeeng~" till I switched back. Promised: no unknown calls or text links. Still sticking to it! Thanks to that...? Kinda good? No more secondhand or user trades! No unknown calls or texts!
"You can do it! I did it! Let's try!"
"No... no... ha... I got hooked bad."
"No way, you can do it! Okay, 3, 2, 1 then fighting? Got it?"
"Agh! Unnie will do it. 3~ 2~ 1~"
"Fighting!!!!"
I shouted loud.
"No... unbelievable... this..."
"Dignity's a whetstone."
"Total no-joke."
"Heh heh heh... Jjang hyung, check this."
It might be no fun. Yeah. Fun's subjective. But words can pay off a thousand debts if used right. Gotta consider the other person.
"No, not 'total no-joke.' Say, 'Utterly lacking in humor... but that's the kind of joke I laugh at!'"
Say it pretty. Pretty words make you wanna give extra...!
"Kkhkkkh... good. Kkh... got it."
"No... this is just messing around. Jjang hyung... weren't you on my side?"
"Eeng?"
"What's eeng? Eeng? Does eeng end it?"
"Eeng can end it. Mo-teok un~ni. Laughing at your lame joke. Mohahaha!"
Is Moteok streaming? Or actually upset? I replayed what I said. No clue. Checked chat too.
No idea. Lame is fact. Fact, but I considered her feelings and laughed. What's wrong? Why upsetting? Total mystery... I'm still lacking. Thought I was full of knowledge, but nope. More to learn. Learning never ends. Time to get humble again. Opened notepad, jotted it down. Ask GPT later.
＊＊＊
Download took forever. Like 20 minutes of chat. 99%... 30MB left...!
"Uwaaak! Finally... finally...! Done!"
Finally. Logged in. Epic BGM welcomes me. Instant invite. Accepted—two already waiting. Killer outfits. Jealous. Love cute stuff, but I'm in undies as a dude char.
"Jjang hyung finally? Let's go~"
"Go!"
"Chicken right away?"
"No fussing. Straight in."
"No, cover your screen."
"Nah, worry not. Just play."
"Bad vibes..."
I get Raming's worry. Sniping. Happens rarely in my streams. But with Raming and Moteok's bigger audiences...
"Please snipe nicely~ Chicken together!"
No, asking for nice snipes. But they swarm my char, jumping and punching. Balls? Tossing balls too. Then...
Chaos. Why only me?
"What is this? Trouble."
"A~ Jjang hyung's popular."
"Kkh. Super popular."
Moteok and Raming fans are chill and mannerly. Why mine like this?! So embarrassing!
"Ban 'em all! Turn my jjangs into angels by killing 'em!"
'Gasp.' 'Jjang-ah scary, cry ok?' 'Kill me first.' 'You suck at games.' "Remembering nicks, gonna snipe. Watch."
Waiting over, all in plane. Super loud. Face burning red. Shouting my face, Sena, jjangi, mind games in plane too? Too much. Face can't show. Embarrassed... Can't face Moteok or Raming.
"Sorry..."
"Nah, good vibe."
"Euhuhu. Reflected?"
"Yeah... Reflected."
"Then revenge?"
"Yeah... I'll try."
"Okay... Bus camp drop. Now...!!!!"
Aigo. Dropped late, more forward. But Moteok casual: "We'll farm, you hold."
"O... okay."
Just survive. Survive. Run from enemies, loot quietly. Don't fight. Just hold. Follow orders...
Enemy ahead. Bare too. Punch first—win chance. Eyes flipped.
Approval urge surged. Ran sprinting, jumped punch. Thwack. One hit landed. But missed follow-up, ate two. He hits hard. Shouldn't. Retreat tactical. No shame—admit gap is skill. Bolted no look.
But chases. Stop! Call friends? No. Stop. Persistent psycho. Dived house ahead.
Eh? Planned last stand here—lucky! Gun and ammo, grabbed quick. Tag changed.
"Where?!"
Quick one. No look bolt. My turn tag. Dodge my bullets? 30 shots aimed.
"Phew, win."
Result meh, but fired—so meaningful.
Satisfied. Survived and shot! Anyway, link up—game over.