Seona, We Always Welcome You (2)
After about three rounds I finally start to get a feel for it.
First round: bankruptcy. Second round: bankruptcy again… Third round I was doing fine until I couldn’t put down the rebels.
This time is different. Yu Seona… has got the hang of it for real.
This time I’m going to run this country properly.
“I’m going to do it right this time. Declaration!! I’ve got the feel completely locked in. This time I’m going to focus and actually try.”
“Hmm… No. I’ll prove it. This time is different… Um… Are you guys actually good? How good are you, really?”
These people are roasting me like that… but are they actually good? A little doubt creeps in. What if they’re all talk?
I mean… I’ve tried it myself. Only three times so far, but listening to them just makes me play worse.
“Hmm… Come into the Discord. This isn’t working. I’m recruiting ministers. Go ahead and try. I’ll be the dictator, so convince me and try saving the country once. Stop just talking and actually come do it.”
I’m actually pissed now. Talking all that trash at me… Let’s see you try. Seriously. They’ve been poking me nonstop… I want to see how good they really are.
“Anyone want to do it? I’m recruiting ministers. Uh… Minister of Land… Minister of Food… and so on. You can’t do it, can you?”
“Hmm… People who’ll do it!! Raise your hands!!”
I have to see with my own two eyes how good you viewers really are. Just from the chat you’ve all turned into full-blown ministers. The people who will save the world.
Go ahead and try. As dictator I’ll grant you full authority.
“I’ll conduct interviews. Send me a Discord friend request. I’m doing real interviews… and if I become dictator I’ll give you hamburgers. Only people who are going to take this seriously should come in. But I’m a dictator so I can fire you anytime, so only people who can actually do everything well… come on in.”
I didn’t originally plan on this, but they just kept poking me.
Going on about me… just quit. She’s just bad. Ugh. So frustrating. Just plant cocoa already. Sigh, she’s just a bonehead.
I have to hear this kind of stuff in a sim game?
If it was FPS, RPG, any game where you mash keys, fine. I’m bad at the physical stuff. I’ll admit that.
But… saying I suck at a game where you just look at a map? That’s not allowed.
You press enter and the whole world freezes… I can think as long as I want. Getting roasted for that really got under my skin.
“I’m doing this for real. Viewers, give me interviews. I’m recruiting people to assist Dictator Yu Seona. I’ll really do things the way you all think. Come try it once. I’ll make your dreams come true. Uh… if we succeed you can even eat hamburgers. Everyone come.”
I diligently gather interview candidates.
There have to be competent viewers in my room, right? Of course. No way there aren’t any.
The chat window… is going completely insane. I’m full of expectations. Seriously huge expectations.
I’m going to see just how amazing they are.
“First one… this feels ominous…”
The nickname is Goebbels. I don’t know history that well, but I know the big names. This is that bad German guy, right?
“Mr. Goebbels…?”
“I ask you all! Do you want total war?!”
“Huh…? No. I don’t know.”
“If necessary, do you want a war more radical and total than anything we can imagine today!!”
“Uh… no… I don’t know about war. Mr. Goebbels? We’re not doing war.”
“Shall I do it in German? Mein Führer.”
“Ah… no. It’s fine… What exactly do you do?”
“I know how to do public enlightenment and propaganda.”
I quickly type “public enlightenment and propaganda” into Google. Wait, this… this is getting a little dizzying.
A weird person has arrived. I should send this one back…?
“Um… we don’t need public enlightenment and propaganda. I’m already the greatest dictator so my approval rating is 100%.”
“Propaganda is a kind of art. As expected, you are magnificent. Mein Führer.”
“Wh… what is this guy saying… This is way too much.”
If I was a history nerd I could maybe work with this, but I don’t know history.
I wish someone a little less extreme would come.
Still, the concept was good.
“However, I’ll give that person a hamburger. The vessel is too big for me to accept…!! Please tone it down a bit… Thank you.”
I just learned something again. It can’t be too extreme.
If it’s too extreme I can’t handle it. Coming in that hard all of a sudden froze me solid.
I didn’t think it would be this much.
“Okay, I’ll respect the viewers. So now please just bring it down a little.”
Concepts that are too over-the-top are hard on me. Exhausting.
“I’m sorry. But you all know too. This is… uh!! It can’t be helped.”
My stream is going to die… at this rate. I have to cut what needs cutting no matter what.
I’ll call him when we play a different game later. Not right now.
Our cabinet system doesn’t do that kind of thing. No wars or anything, just… the people. Thinking only of the people and planting cocoa fields and tobacco.
So that kind of concept isn’t needed.
Through the interviews I select three ministers.
One Minister of Land, one Minister of Food… and one Minister of Housing.
“Everyone here? I am Dictator Yu Seona. Serve me well. Our goal is a hundred years of dictatorship after independence. Everyone do your utmost in the duties assigned to you.”
I ignore the public (chat) opinion. I just have to show them with results.
My people… Dictator Yu Seona is on the move!!
“Your Excellency… you’re playing like absolute garbage.”
“No… wait. Aren’t there any mistakes from the ministers… The minister told me to run tobacco so I just ran tobacco. But the money isn’t coming in properly.”
I blame the ministers. Thinking about it, it’s not even blame. It’s fact.
The minister was clearly… doing well with our cocoa, then suddenly told me to switch everything to tobacco, so I wiped out ten fields and changed them to tobacco.
Then the finances ran short and everything suddenly tipped over. And they blame me for that. I was truly wronged.
“Tobacco parrot. Tobacco parrot. You have to do tobacco. Tobacco. Tobacco. Tobacco. We did tobacco and went bankrupt!! What are you going to do about the minister’s incompetence!!”
“I never said tobacco. Weren’t you seduced by that clueless Housing Minister spouting nonsense about tobacco being efficient?”
“Th… that I don’t know. This isn’t working. This entire cabinet is dismissed.”
We’re ruined. This cabinet is ruined too. Just fire them all.
There’s no proper cabinet…!! They just do whatever they want and act only for themselves, not for the country.
The ironic situation where Dictator Yu Seona is the one who thinks more about the people…!!
“I will form a new cabinet.”
I conduct interviews again. This time I’m going to pick proper ministers.
Total fools who know nothing but the people. But competent. I’m going to pick magnificent ministers like that…!!
A leader doesn’t actually need to be competent.
You just need to know how to spot competent employees and slot them into the right places. That’s all you need to know how to do.
On top of that, just listen to the employees well and sign the papers properly.
The reason I failed… is clear.
My eye for talent was bad. I should have picked proper ministers but I failed to do so.
That’s my sin. I’m not incompetent.
“I’ll pick again. Please apply for interviews.”
I take interviews again. This new cabinet has one Ko-ja mixed in.
The Ko-ja says they’ve never played the game before.
Then why did they apply? Anyway, since they applied, I make a decision for the salvation of the nation.
I just hire them exclusively for the bun-nae. I believe bun-nae is the ultimate weapon of mass destruction.
What captivates men is a woman’s bun-nae. Eheheh.
Good, captivate all the citizens!!
“Let’s all do well. This time I’ll become the greatest dictator!!”
I’m going to trust this cabinet. Let’s go from the incompetent dictator who’s already ruined it six times to the greatest dictator who will define an era.
“Alright. Then let’s begin. Ko-ja Minister, give me that bun-nae. Housing Minister, until further orders you only handle bun-nae. I’ll talk with the Minister of Land. Everyone stand by. Then, Minister of Land, please brief us on the schedule.”
“We’ll secure money with coconuts and ranches and liberate the colonies.”
“Oh. This time you seem reliable.”
“Thank you for trusting me, Your Excellency.”
I leave everything to the Minister of Land and just handle the bun-nae.
“Alright. Then do as you see fit, and how old is our baby bun-nae?”
“Mein Führer…”
“Ahem. I’m not asking the man, I’m asking our Ko-ja bun-nae.”
“Mein Führer… please focus on the people.”
“You want a scolding? I’m going to play with the baby bun-nae.”
“If you fall into feminine charms, chaos will visit the nation.”
This bastard should just tend to the land. Why is he trying to interfere in internal affairs? I just want to handle a little bun-nae!!
Maybe I should just… fire him?
“Ahem. Do not talk back to the Führer’s words. Minister of Land. You are sentenced to ten minutes of mute. So how old is our baby?”
“Unnie… I’m twenty-one.”
“Unnie? Me, the Führer? Twenty-one? Just at the absolute peak of bun-nae, huh.”
“Thank you. What should I do?”
“Come over here. Sit on unnie’s lap.”
“Whaaat?”
“Ah. No, it’s because you feel like a little sister. Tell unnie everything. Unnie is the Führer. The Führer.”
Eheheh. What an adorable little bun-nae. I’m just going to. Eheheh.
I’m so drunk on the bun-nae I want to drop all the affairs of state~!! No~ just kidding~ kidding!!