Can't Breathe? Ah!! So the Viewers Were Just Trolling. (1)

Yesterday was seriously so much fun.

Packed full. I wanted to review the whole thing, but there just wasn't time.

Today I had to get today's content ready.

I am forever starving for content.

"Hmm… what do I do today?"

It was always agony. I wished someone would just hand me some great content.

Something I could do every single day.

Even delusions don't last forever. Sooner or later, they dry up.

My delusion power was shrinking, and content vanished even faster. Way faster.

Honestly, content ideas themselves were everywhere. The problem was whether I could actually pull them off.

Even when I wanted to, they took too much time or too much money.

And the ones that needed a lot of time… even if I did them, I forgot about them.

When Pyeong-nim said, "It's finished," I would go, "What is?" And then he'd say, "The things you mentioned before…"

Ehh!! What was I supposed to do if I genuinely didn't remember…!!

Humans are animals of forgetting. Structurally, we can't help but forget.

We're also animals that grow.

Something that was definitely fun at the time can, once enough time passes and you think about it again, not be fun at all.

Then it gets quietly abandoned.

The classic example of that was… what was it. The RP Coronation Ceremony? Back then I thought it was genuinely awesome and even hyped it on stream, but now it's basically been left to rot.

First of all, it was expensive. I figured if I just saved my gacha money I could make it… but gacha money didn't even come close.

Go high-quality and you're talking tens of millions of won… so I gave up. At my level, I couldn't build something that big.

I ditched the Coronation Ceremony, but I did put in an order for a Panttegi.

The famous creators, though, had waitlists stacked to the ceiling, so it was going to take forever.

I had brainstormed tons of content, but all kinds of circumstances kept pushing things back. Lots of them.

And once enough time passed, those got forgotten too, and eventually abandoned.

Which is how I ended up only hunting for one-off content.

Even the stuff I was stressing over was just for today.

"What do I do…!! Nothing's coming. Ugh. Mom. Mom!!"

I called for Mom. Mom was way smarter than me, so she was definitely going to give me a good idea.

"Hey. Mom. What's today?"

"Today? Shine Muscat again."

"Ooh. Shine Muscat again? Shine Muscat is always good. Ah—no, Mom. Give me an idea again today."

"What kind of idea?"

"A content idea. Like the one you gave me last time. One more, please."

"You should try thinking on your own."

"I already thought on my own and I don't know!!"

I really didn't know. It was too hard. I'd grown this much and I still didn't know!!

I should've actually read those books when people told me to. I didn't understand a single thing!!

"What do you want to do?"

"Uh… today's stream content. I don't know ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠anything."

"Aigoo. Mom has no idea either."

My hand drifted to the Shine Muscats on pure instinct. I popped one in my mouth, chewed it mushily, and spoke.

"Hmm… if Mom doesn't know… is Dad around?"

"Dad went to work."

"He goes to work every day…"

This wouldn't do. I needed to go check Dad's hospital once. See if he was actually working.

And I needed to hear some of Dad's insight.

Dad's insight was definitely going to be incredible. I was going to grow so much. For sure.

"Of course he does. So you're not going?"

"Then… I'll go to Dad's hospital."

"Huh? Why? Why would you?"

"To watch him work!!"

"Aigoo. You can't interrupt him. Mom will tell Dad for you that Seona's looking for him. If you go to the hospital, what about the patients? He has to treat them."

"Hmm… got it. Understood."

Mom's words sounded reasonable once I heard them.

I couldn't let sick people miss treatment because of me. Yup yup.

"Then I'll go to the office. I should ask Pyeong-nim."

The moment I arrived at the office, I sat Pyeong-nim down for a serious meeting.

Me and Pyeong-nim… neither of us managed to spit out a single properly fun idea.

To have this few ideas.

It was honestly sad. I should've read books when people told me to. Sob sob.

"So… nothing, then?"

"…"

"What do we do? What do we do today?"

"Today… you said you were going to be a reporter?"

"A reporter? Me? When?"

I planned that content? Exactly when? I had zero memory of it.

Had I just said it without thinking? That ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠happened a lot. I'd say something with my brain completely empty.

And then viewers would sometimes start expecting it.

The problem was… I couldn't remember. I said that? Why on earth?

"Yesterday…"

"Me? I said I'd be a reporter yesterday? Why? I really don't know, so please just tell me. I would really, truly appreciate being informed."

I stared hard at Pyeong-nim.

He spun his laptop around and skimmed the trackpad this way and that.

"Here… if you look at the VOD… like this… starting from after you met Nem-mo. This kind of thing…"

Pyeong-nim pulled up my VOD. My own voice spilled out.

Oh, what!! Seeing it, I remembered. Yeah, that was it. That moment. When Nem-mo was fully locked in.

I'd been so moved I'd declared myself a reporter. Yu Seona, you little punk—you were this smart?

Smart Yu Seona kept muttering under her breath.

When Nem-mo came on today, I was going to cling to her for real. Relentlessly.

I was going to tail her until she got so sick of me she spilled every last secret of Shape World.

I was a reporter who chased justice.

But I was also a virtuous reporter.

Virtuous. Extremely. Kind. A reporter for justice.

"Perfect. Today's it!! Thank you!! Thanks to Pyeong-nim, I found what I'm doing today."

"Hold on a second, Boss."

"Neng? Why?"

"That… you can't be too rude about it. You have to keep it in moderation. Viewers in the other room might get uncomfortable."

"Ah!! I'll keep that firmly in mind. No no no. Pyeong-nim. Please sit down."

So only I needed to sit!! I sat right down and looked at Pyeong-nim.

"So, okay, listen. I'll explain it. Is this rude? Hear me out. Today I'm going to trail Nem-mo nonstop and report on her. I'm going to reveal the truth of Shape World. How's that sound?"

Pyeong-nim recoiled in horror.

"Uhiiiii…"

He even made a weird noise. It was that bad? Hmm… he was overreacting.

"Overreacting."

"It's not overreacting—you really can't do that. It'll be a disaster."

"Why?"

"Uh… people watching the other stream are going to hate it a lot."

"Is it bad if that room's viewers hate me?"

"Excuse me?"

"You can't be loved by everyone."

"That doesn't mean you have a reason to go out of your way and get hated by everyone like an idiot either. If something can be handled carefully, you handle it carefully. Once your image turns unlikable, it's hard to fix."

I had nothing to say. Kuh. Lost the logic fight.

I couldn't think of a winning argument. If I'd read actual books full of words instead of just comics, I probably would've seen through it. Ugh, so frustrating.

"Understood… Then I'll get permission first. That works, right?"

"Permission?"

"Yes. I'll ask Nem-mo. Directly. Tell her this is what I want to do and ask if it's okay. How's that?"

"Then… fine. Let's do it that way."

I nodded and left to go stream.

People change. Because of something big.

What changed Nem-mo wasn't the boyfriend rumors she'd thought were well hidden exploding, or her viewer count dropping, or the absolute flood of hate she ate.

What hit Nem-mo like a freight train was her biggest donating fans—the ones who threw huge money in her room—dropping even more money in someone else's room.

Money she'd thought of as hers going somewhere else was more than she could stand.

Nem-mo, who already had a reputation for being ruthless, took a whole month of apology hiatus… and then changed on the spot.

The Nem-mo who did whatever she wanted vanished. She streamed consistently.

She always went live on time. For four months straight, she was not late even once.

And that wasn't all that had changed about her.

To get her face on other people's streams ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠somehow, she chased harmony with her members. Obsessively. Even pitifully.

Nem-mo knew full well that once people forgot your face, there was no angle left to clean your image with, so she joined collab streams she would've refused in the old days—anything that came ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠her way.

Big or small. She figured she could manufacture the stream angle herself anyway.

She understood perfectly that if you just kept getting exposure, your image recovered on its own.

And with the members helping too, her image recovery went smoothly.

But then she hit a wall.

In the old days she would've ignored it. Now she didn't have that luxury.

If anything, you could say the hierarchy had flipped.

In Nem-mo's memory, this had been a streamer who barely talked, had almost no viewers, and wasn't anyone special.

And now a Discord call came in from someone who could comfortably be called mid-tier—someone who showed up if you scrolled the mouse wheel just a little from the absolute top.

Some vague anxiety made heat rise through Nem-mo's body.