Hwabon Station's Alpha Male Jjang-hem (3)

I'm gonna feel left out. If you don't help me, I'll feel left out.

I put in so much real effort preparing for this, and if you just ignore it and refuse… I'm seriously going to tear up.

Right on the edge. Seona's about to lose it. Sob, sob. For real.

I'll work so hard…!! I'll give it everything I've got…!! Just trust me. Enlightened Seona is a whole different person.

"Just trust me…!!"

I made my vow while waiting for the map to load.

I was going to help. If I didn't help, who else was going to help Maem-nim?

What was chat even on about? All I'd done was put myself in her shoes, felt so sad I wanted to help… and the viewers were taking it in the weirdest direction.

Not that I had any plans to correct them.

If I fumbled my words and they latched onto that, it'd be a nightmare. A nightmare, I tell you!!

"Hmm… I'm heading in. How should I lock in the concept? I'm genuinely going to help Maem-nim. How ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠should I play it? Drop me some recommendations, everyone."

Shouldn't have asked. Completely useless.

At times like this… yeah. Only my friends would do.

"One sec… Cuckoo, favor please. Tell Maem-nim Seona's taxi is stuck in traffic and she'll be five minutes."

With that said, I fired up GPT. Asking Smarty was the move, ehehe.

I spun up a brand-new Smarty and put it up on the stream overlay.

"Give me a good girl's speech style. GPT. My brilliant friend as always. Hmm… this is hard."

A little aegyo mixed in? Yeah? Thanks? That was just normal human speech.

Was this kid living in some virtual space and just didn't know how people actually talked?

No. No way a twenty-dollar premium GPT would be like that.

Because it was Plus? Nah. It always gave me good inspiration.

I believed ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠in GPT.

"Give me examples… my friend!! These examples are brutal…"

They really were brutal. Lines I'd never once said in my entire life were spilling out as samples.

"Babe, you must be tired? You worked so hard? I love you? Thanks for coming to me? Hmm… hard. This is really hard."

I muttered them once under my breath and, yeah, they were genuinely difficult.

This was a secret technique only women with Maru-nim-tier girl power could pull off.

A mere mortal like me couldn't do it.

Okay… asking for the easy version this time.

"Did you eat alreadyyy? Hurry home, head of household? You wanna get scolded for real? I told you not to make weird examples like this, didn't I? You wanna get deleted? This little punk needs a talking-to, huh?"

I tore into GPT without mercy.

The intent to mess with me was way too obvious.

It knew I couldn't do it… so it did this on purpose.

Clever little bastard, as expected.

"Deleting and remaking. Again. You pull this one more time and you're in actual trouble!! I'm calling the uncle on you?"

After absolutely roasting GPT, I remade it.

Different approach this time. I decided to throw it a curveball.

"Taking suggestions. Drop your ideas, everyone~!!"

I kicked it off with viewer participation.

"Hmm… chat? Please. Hmm. Never mind. I'll do it myself."

Regret was already setting in. "Furred-up Seona goes on a date with Maem" — where did that even come from? I had no idea. None.

It was a complete circus of weirdness.

I carefully wrote down the ones that seemed halfway decent and fed them into GPT.

"Kyaaa!! How was that? How was that just now?"

That was what GPT had told me to say… clearly GPT didn't understand the human heart very well.

"Hmm… Oppa, let's ride that one first!! How about this?"

"Why would you cut in line. You wait your turn…"

Contrarian Seona was creeping up on me. The second they said they liked something, I didn't want to do it. No. Get a grip. Do it well so YouTube does well and the money rolls in!!

"I'll read the next one too."

The real genius of GPT was that it spun up multiple styles. The one I'd just read was the cute, fluttery girlfriend version.

This time I'd try the cool, playful style.

"Not bad? Keh."

This was genuinely unfair. I read it exactly the way GPT told me to.

How were you supposed to laugh a "keh"? Saying "keh" while laughing was correct, right? Was I wrong? I stood by my principles.

That said, I wasn't about to start arguing with chat. That was a fight I would lose every single time. They were gods of stubbornness — there was no winning.

When it got like this, you just started the content.

"I'm going!! Now."

I put the script up on a side screen and made every last preparation.

I was going to do this right for her.

Just trust me. Maem-nim. I'm really going to save this content for you~!!

"Alright, starting now. Uiiiiiiing. Immersing… pew!!"

VR Chat was incredible. An amusement park? The quality was actually amazing.

"I'm heeere~!!"

"Uh… kyaaaaaaa!!"

I waved both arms and hit them with one of those emotional "kyaaa"s, just like GPT had taught me.

"Pfft. What are you doing all of a sudden."

"Kyaaaaaa!! I'm moved!! I got so emotional~!! Kyaaaaa!!"

How was my acting? This was the craft I'd honed reading game story cutscenes!! Maem-nim was moved, right? Hit right in the tear ducts, right? No one else could do this, right?

"We haven't even bought tickets yet… and that's the kind of thing you do on the Ferris wheel at night. It's way too early."

"Ah…!! Kyaa!! I'm so moved!! Kyaa!! Is that so? Hmm…"

I scratched my head. Oh, right. I'd gone way overboard. But I'd already done it — I couldn't just pivot out of nowhere from here.

I was moved. That part was real. That was the concept.

"Let's go in… haha."

"By the way. What should I call you? I want to be Jjanga."

"Uh… call me Oppa."

"Are you older than me?"

"Uh… how old is Jjanga?"

"Me? You go first, please."

Just in case I said my age first and she pulled some dirty move adding a year or two, I demanded she go first.

Back when I used to play online games, people used to call me hyung.

Some thirteen-year-old guy had been looking for male friends, so eleven-year-old me had lied and said I was fifteen.

So that kid called me hyung every single day after that.

Online, this stuff really mattered.

"I'm. Twenty-seven."

"Birth year, please."

"'99."

"Uh… for real? I'm '01. But why twenty-seven? I'm twenty-three. Isn't '99 and '01 a four-year gap?"

"Korean age. Ah, full age I'm twenty-five."

"Then that checks out!!"

"We good?"

"Hang on. Is that your real age? Or VTuber RP age? If we're going by VTuber age I'll do twenty-eight."

"Real age…"

"Really?"

I was about to fact-check by looking Maem-nim up on the wiki. No.

I should just trust her. I'd grown as a person.

I could believe a girl now. No more suspicion.

"Alright. So what should I call you?"

"Call me Oppa."

"Then, Oppa forever?"

"What does that mean?"

"Meaning? What meaning? Oppa forever? Is there a meaning?"

"No… um. Uh. Then I'll switch it to babe."

"Babe, then? Like that?"

"I'm sensing some weird ulterior motive here. Not sure what."

"Ehh?"

Ulterior motive? Where? I was genuinely just curious. So if it was Oppa… that made her Maem Oppa, right? Which meant, did I have to keep calling her Oppa on the next stream too? That was the question. But then she suddenly told me to say babe instead.

So on the next stream, did I call her babe? That was what I wanted to know.

Looking at me, Jjang-hem only existed as Jjang-hem, Seona only as Seona, Jjanga only as Jjanga.

I'd just wanted to lock that down clearly — what was weird about that? I genuinely didn't get it.

"Ah, just Oppa— ah, babe. Ah Oppa, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠ah just say babe."

"Yes!! But casual speech? Formal speech?"

Maem-nim, born in '99, had told me to call her babe, so from now on that was fine… but what about the speech register? That mattered too.

Maem babe. How was I supposed to talk?

"Whatever you want."

"There's no such thing as whatever in this world. Decide."

I was a person of absolute principles when it came to etiquette.

Especially regarding titles — I was practically perfect on that front.

The older person had to choose the form of address and whether to use formal or casual speech first.

Otherwise the default was "so-and-so-nim" plus formal speech.

If they didn't say anything first, sticking to defaults was the polite thing to do.

"Uh… then casual."

"Cool."

"You're actually chill."

"Thanks."

Getting complimented made me want to try even harder. I was really going to give it my all!! Just trust me.

"Then I'll go casual too."

"You already are!!"

"Uh… uh. Right. Then let's head in."

"But. Oppa. Why aren't you laughing? Where'd the bun-nae laugh go? Why aren't you going kyarr? That was your charm… not laughing is dropping your appeal rating."

I delivered a cold, hard evaluation of Maem babe.

Maem babe's highest-appeal skill was that powder-scent feminine laugh.

Not using it was like a fish-shaped bun with no red bean paste. Why would you even eat that? That kind of feeling.

"I'm holding it in right now."

"Why?"

"Because I'm a guy."

"I see how it is…!!"

Hearing the reason, it made perfect sense.

I didn't go kyarr either when I was Jjang-hem. Had to stay cool!!

As we walked forward, the giant rides came into view. Oh!! This was my moment!!

"Kyaa!!!! This is an amusement park!! I've. Wanted. To. Come. Heeere…!! Kyaaa!!"

"Pfft hahaha."

Nailed it this time, right? Ehehe. Stage one clear!? On to stage two?!!

Stage two was… right before riding something scary or terrifying… go kyaa!!

Alright!! I was going to clear stage two too.

Uh. But I wasn't actually scared of horror stuff. What now? What do you mean what now!! Overcoming that was how you grew.

Come on, come on!! Seona can do this!! Devour that EXP!!