Only Seon-a. Really!! (2)
I spent five straight hours slaughtering diamonds. The moment I spotted one, I just went “Krahahahaha!” So radiant. So sparkly. I was having so much fun I wanted to share the feeling with the chat, but our stream had apparently overloaded from watching me mine diamonds… because they were only saying the weirdest things.
“What’s with the chat?” “Seriously, what’s with the chat?” They were just copy-pasting weird messages. I’d been watching to see when it would end, but it kept going. The whole time I was mining diamonds. “Guys, how long are you gonna keep this up?” I was genuinely curious.
At first it was a food battle, then a debate about who would win between an armored Tyrannosaurus and a samurai Spinosaurus, then a flood of copy-paste bait, then even a “problematic streamer” thread. One of the hallmarks of a problematic streamer is when the chat and the stream are completely disconnected. I was living up to that reputation. And now we’d reached this kind of bait. This was the manager’s fault.
“Manager!! Manager!!” The manager should’ve done their job. If the chat atmosphere got weird, they were supposed to refocus everyone and make them watch me. That’s what a manager does!! “What did you do!! What exactly did you do, Manager?!”
The manager had been there the whole time. I needed to check what they’d actually been doing. I opened the manager’s chat log.
“Hmm…” It looked like they were doing okay, but also not really. Ambiguous. Kind of… huh. They hadn’t done anything wrong, but also hadn’t done anything right. Colorless and odorless. Still, being colorless and odorless was its own kind of personality. I clapped.
“Good job. You participated in chat well and gave warnings well too.”
No, it wasn’t like that. Shut down? That wasn’t it. It was just genuine praise. I was clapping in good faith. There was no bad intention at all!! Still… if the listeners give feedback and I grow, doesn’t that make me happy? It makes the manager happy too. So I didn’t stop them. The manager also has a duty to grow. We have to grow together!! Me growing alone would be cheating.
“Nice. You grew, right? Manager grew, right? Congratulations. You’re a stronger manager now. Mwahahaha.” I burst out laughing. So cool. Where else would you find a boss like me!! Huh? Wait? I was mistaken. The manager isn’t an employee. They’re just a day laborer I hired by giving them a hamburger. Huh…? I narrowed my eyes. Is a day laborer still my employee? I really don’t know.
“Guys. Is a day laborer still my employee? PhoneReview is definitely my employee because they’re my editor, right? But is the manager my employee too?”
“No, I wasn’t asking about your jobs. I just need to know if you’re my employee or not. Tell me!!” This was a really important issue. Growing together with my employee is a boss’s duty. But forcing growth on someone I don’t know… that’s bad. I was caught between a boss’s duty and doing something bad right now.
“Then… I’ll make the hamburger employee.” Since I gave them a hamburger, they’re an employee. Right? Yeah, that’s right. That settles it. From today, the manager is an official employee who gets paid in hamburgers.
I mined nothing but diamonds for another two hours. I had four sets of diamonds in my inventory and today’s goal was five sets. I know it’s boring. But I had a reason. I was going to grind hard today so I wouldn’t have to mine at all starting tomorrow. I was diligently working when—
“Dududududu, appearing.”
“…”
“Weren’t you surprised?”
“Not at all…? Hello?!”
Bananim had suddenly appeared in full authority mode.
“Hiii. Seon-a. I’ve been watching and you’ve just been mining diamonds the whole time?”
“Yes!”
“Hmm. Did you get a lot?”
“I have four sets right now.”
“You’re live right now, yes?”
“Of course!!”
“Then that’s fine.”
“What is…?”
Bananim looked exactly like a detective. The way they spoke with that investigative nuance was cool. Really cool.
“Um… never mind.”
“Tell me!! I know you, Bananim.”
“I know you too. We met last time.”
“No. I read the wiki!! Bananim, you’re part of Geunja’s fam, right?”
“Geunja…? Ah, Luca. Luca-ssi.”
Bananim raised their voice like they’d just remembered someone. Correct. Geunka. That’s right. My memory also turned toward Geunka.
“Ah. Yes yes!! Geunka. Sorry. Geunka… our stream is a broth stream so mwahahaha!”
“Puhahahaha. Ah, broth stream so Geunja?”
“Yeees~!! Throw out the Geunja!!”
“Kya~ Throw out Geunka~”
“Mwahahaha. Everyone gets the death penalty!! Hang the Geunja streamers!!”
Since I did this, you have to watch ten more hours of diamond mining!! Ten hours of house-building grind… ten hours of mouth-shut… watch all of it!! I did this fully prepared to get cursed at. Got it? You really have to watch?
Looking at the chat’s positive reaction, they’ll watch, right? I’m really trusting you listeners and grinding? It’s okay if I do this, right?
“Ah~ Good. I like it. But that’s not it. I’m looking for people doing X-ray.”
“X-ray?” What’s that? Some advanced technique? Even diamond-mining pros don’t know this technique? I was so curious.
“What’s X-ray?”
“Ah… it’s a cheat. A forbidden technique.”
“Whoa!! Can I learn it too?”
“Ddyong? You don’t know what X-ray is?”
“In real life?”
“No. Minecraft X-ray. You really don’t know?”
What is it? Am I the only one who doesn’t know? I glanced at the chat. Everyone else knows… I’m the only one left out again? Ugh… I feel betrayed. Why didn’t you tell me about such a good technique? Why does everyone know except me?
“I’m upset!! If there’s such a good technique, you should’ve told me!!”
“Huh? No, it’s a hack. A hack.”
“Ung? A hack? Minecraft has hacks too?”
“Of course. X-ray shows all the ores.”
“Whoa!! Then what?”
“You just go there and mine everything.”
The moment I heard the explanation, my eyes went wide. So the hackers were hogging all the good stuff for themselves?
“Then we can’t use it?”
“You’re not supposed to!!”
“Bananim…”
“Yes?”
“You’re the server owner.”
“W-what about it?”
“Make the hard decision.”
I spoke carefully. I know because I’ve been mining diamonds for seven hours. No… if you count practice, it’s easily over thirty hours. How nice would it be if we could all mine happily together?
“Not allowing it is the hard decision. Then it’s no fun. At that point, why not just scatter a thousand diamonds like communism?”
“Oh? Ooh!!?” That’s nice!! It’s like saving the poor souls who entered the mines. Even just looking at me, I’ve been at it for seven hours… If the admin gave me a thousand… right now I’d be doing something else. Wow… not just anyone can be an admin. Smart people really have to run things.
“W-what? Don’t tell me you actually like the idea?”
“Let’s do it. The hard decision.”
I spoke even more seriously than before. Someone has to do it. Someone has to lift the curse of the coal mines.
“Aww. No. It’s no fun. Then if you don’t want to mine, just go pillage.”
“I see… Then give me a thousand and turn off creative mode.”
I held up my diamond sword. I’ll gladly accept if you’re giving, Bananim.
“Whoa… that’s going too far. That won’t work. Oh… but Maru would love this kind of talent. Real talent.”
“Eh?” Hold on? Suddenly Maru? Why? Hmm… why though? Hmm… This is… a signal for me. It’s not a big company… but Bananim, a mid-tier streamer and former top member, said it. Figure out the speaker’s intent. You can do it. I’m the grown-up Seon-a. I’ve eaten hundreds, thousands of experience points. What is it? What…? Ah… flash!! I got it.
“Maru… Maru. She’s on break.”
“I know.”
“Do you know why she’s on break? I know.”
“Really? You really know?”
I really figured this out? Great Seon-a!! This is just them fishing for diamonds with small talk. Ha… really, great Seon-a. You’ve grown. Heheh. Negotiation technique part one. Sell information.
“If you give me ten sets of diamonds, I’ll tell you.”
Naturally asking for diamonds. What a cool person. What a good person.
“Puhahhhahaha. You’re already squeezing me? Scary. Too scary. Ten sets? That’s too much. One set. I’ll give you one set.”
“Ooh!! One set is fine too!! Give it to me and I’ll tell you.”
“Here.”
I got one free set of diamonds.
“So why is Maru on break?”
“That’s… well. Because God called her. Maru is originally an angel. She’s an angel, but she played the human role so well that God called her. Maru the angel. We miss our Maru the angel. So Maru the angel went up to heaven. Isn’t that huge? I noticed it. Why? Because I noticed that Maru is an angel. Mwahahahaha.”