Windpong is God
Windpong is god. It really is ridiculous. So this is what it feels like to soar through the sky. The moment I dismount from a Windpong, I lose all desire to keep playing the game.
- Jae-yong-ham’s gonna lose it when he eats this lololol
- So damn cute kek
“If we breed them, they get better?”
Everyone kept telling me to breed more, and who the hell is Jae-yong-ham anyway? Keeping up with the viewers’ tempo was already tough enough. The one saving grace was…
I had no idea what they were talking about. It didn’t make sense. Was it really okay for such a cute little game to be this complicated?
“Aaaagh… This is hard… So hard… Ah!! Ah. Maem-nim. Meroni-nim.”
I don’t know why I suddenly thought of her, but I did.
“Maem-nim. I was planning to play that game where the animals shoot guns later—wanna join?”
“Liars’ Vibe. The game Liar-nim played.”
“It’s not a copy. I… I’m serious. I was going to do a collab, but Maem-nim said she absolutely couldn’t handle one and suggested another game instead… She just picked a trending one. It wasn’t my idea.”
I struck first. This wasn’t my idea. I just said okay because it sounded fun. I didn’t voice any opinion at all.
“But is it actually fun?”
“What kind of game is it? I just said okay without thinking. Is it hard? If it’s hard, we’re in trouble.”
Easy? That would be nice, but… that’s not what this is. That’s not it at all!!
“So, Meroni-nim, are you in? Let’s play together!! Me, Maem-nim… and we need two more people.”
I had to find people. I promised I would, but I’d completely forgotten. If I left it like this, it would turn into another classic K-promise. I had to move fast.
Huh? Right? I’m the one who’s supposed to find them, right?
I quickly blacked out the screen and opened Discord. I scrolled through my conversation with Maem-nim.
As expected…!! I was right. It was a four-player game, so Maem-nim was going to recruit one person and I was supposed to recruit the other.
“It’s not two people, it’s just one!! Merona-nim, are you joining?”
“Uh… schedule? I don’t know. Probably this week?”
I didn’t know the exact schedule either. But I had a reason. I thought Maem-nim would handle it. She’d already picked the game and set the rules, so of course she should also set the schedule. That was only natural, right? I wasn’t pushing it off… My logic was sound.
“Maybe… once everyone’s recruited? Merong-nim, please join us.”
“Understood!!”
I immediately messaged Maem-nim: “I found someone!! Need the schedule. Urgent. Thanks.”
Now, should I focus again? I’m always like this—can’t concentrate, keep getting distracted. Can’t help it. I almost started daydreaming again. Get it together. I have to play the game. I need to create the ultimate Windpong.
Thirty minutes earlier, I’d baked the jeon. Even if I baked it… as long as it succeeded, it was fine. The absolute worst was putting in all that effort only for it to fail. Then there was no hope. But when it succeeded, everything changed.
“Phew… I did it. I did, right? Right?”
I’d planned to do one breeding session and then end the stream, but it was way harder than expected. There were too many backseat gamers and it made my head spin. I was only watching Moddeok-nim’s advice when suddenly some 3,000-hour veteran said I was doing it wrong, then a 4,000-hour veteran chimed in saying that method was inefficient… They kept one-upping each other and it took forever to verify and follow along.
Still, I absorbed the advice well and finally created my first Windpong. The confusing part was this: you had to inherit the parents’ abilities, but only from Pongs that already possessed those abilities, then combine them according to the official formula to produce a Windpong, and then endlessly breed that Windpong with opposite-gender Windpongs to extract superior genes.
What I didn’t understand was how Pongs that weren’t even supposed to produce Windpongs kept popping them out like it was nothing.
There’s the Pengking, king of the penguins. It’s taller than the player—minimum three meters. If you breed that with a 30cm four-legged (former) Miho… you get a deer-shaped sports-car Windpong. Does that make any sense?
The Pengking was male… and the Miho Pong couldn’t possibly handle the Pengking’s… you know. It’s a crime!! My Pengking is three meters tall, and the Miho Pong is only 34cm… This is criminal. Yet when you breed them, a random deer-shaped sports-car Windpong is born. It makes zero sense. But the viewers kept insisting it worked. I didn’t want to do it, but they kept pushing, so I reluctantly followed along… and the Windpong actually appeared. Humans really are evil.
“No… what is this? Does this make sense to you guys? I bred a Pengking with a Miho Pong and this came out? More than that, the fact that it’s even possible is ridiculous. Did the Miho not explode?”
“You guys are seriously idiots. Look. The Pengking. It’s taller than me. That kind of king with this… ankle-high Miho… This is a crime. I can’t allow it.”
Pengking. You committed a crime. I quietly picked up the slaughter knife. No matter how you look at it, this can’t be forgiven. Nongking… you crossed the line. This has to be done—for the sake of Pong World. I’m sorry.
“Ah…” I accidentally ate the red pill without realizing. Right. I was the one who set them up… So this is a wholesome marriage. They didn’t breed because they loved each other—I forced them together. That’s right. That’s correct. So there’s nothing wrong with it. Good Pong.
“I’m sorry. You were a good husband and a good father. You did well.”
I gently patted the Pengking. Good job. Thanks to you, the Windpong was born with excellent genes. Good, good.
I quietly watched the chat. They were trying to paint me as a bad person… Humans are inherently evil.
“So now we just roll the Windpongs?”
“If it doesn’t come out, we have to keep rolling until we get it. We have to pull the legendary. We need to eat that from the Pengking. Keep going until the legendary appears.”
“Then what about this Windpong? What should I do with it? Can I ride it around?”
What kind of game is this? It’s terrifying. So only the superior genes survive and the rest get culled? That’s wrong!! Every gene deserves respect!! There’s a reason it was born. There are no meaningless genes. Nature is magnificent. It must have kept them because they’re necessary