Mom Knows Best
I called Mom. She’s always so diligent—waking up at the crack of dawn, opening the windows, cooking breakfast. At seven she’d wake us up. I’d drag my heavy body out of bed, shower, and eat. Breakfast was non-negotiable. Skip it and you got no allowance. After eating, my little sister—who’s now my little brother—would head out early to meet a friend, while I rode to school with Dad.
“Hello~”
“Mom, it’s Seon-a. Seon-a. You know who I am, right?”
“Of course I do. What’s going on?”
“I got a huge shock today.”
“What kind of shock?”
Mom had promised she’d take care of everything. No matter how much money I saved, I could never beat Mom. I trusted her. She had way more money than me, so she wouldn’t be eyeing mine. That’s why I handed over my bankbook and stopped thinking about it. I never had to worry about buying things anyway… Damn it.
“Um… You said you’d pay Pyeongjipja’s salary, remember?”
“I did.”
“But you used my money for it!”
“I did.”
“No way… You said you’d use your own money, didn’t you?”
I’d assumed Mom would cover it with her own cash. That made sense, right? Mom wouldn’t have anything to say to that.
“Sweetie. I clearly said you’d be working with the editor. Remember?”
“Yeah!”
“And I also said there was no need to make them a full employee—that it would be better to handle it another way. Right?”
“Uh… yeah?!”
I didn’t remember that at all. When had she said it? I had no clue! But if I admitted I didn’t remember, she’d lecture me for thirty minutes, so I played along.
“Then I asked you again, didn’t I? I said it would be better to stay solo, but you insisted you wanted to do it together no matter what. Correct?”
“Yes! I did!”
“So that means they’re an employee, right? You agreed to treat them as staff?”
“Yes!! I did!”
“Then there’s no helping it~ When you file your business registration, you can’t list them as a one-person operation.”
“Huh?”
“Pyeongjipja works for Seon-a’s company, doesn’t she? All of that counts as expenses. Expenses. The key is keeping that ratio reasonable~”
“Right…”
“Ah, but that doesn’t mean you can just spend however you want. Expenses have to be necessary outgoings. Right now your ratio is way too low—under twenty percent—so I adjusted it a bit~ If you keep doing this, you’ll be in big trouble later. It’s far too low. You’ll get hit with a massive tax bill~ The accountant will probably tell you all about it in May~ Our Seon-a needs to listen carefully~”
“Ehh…”
Suddenly everything got complicated. All these technical terms flying around. Aaaagh!! I don’t know any of that stuff. It’s too hard!! What even are expenses?! The only “expenses” I know are the security guards at my apartment complex!!
Still, she’d definitely put me in a tough spot!! No matter if they’re my parents, I couldn’t forgive this.
“Then… then you have to give Seon-a a million won in New Year’s money!!”
I laid down the threat. Originally I’d planned to be the successful, dignified Seon-a. “Mother… Seon-a has arrived. Please bring me the sweet rice drink and skewered meat.” “Father… Seon-a has arrived. I’ll only accept fifty thousand won for New Year’s money. You’re welcome.” “Oh, relatives are here? In that case I’ll give you a discount on the New Year’s money… use it to buy something tasty.” But all of that was canceled now!!
“Goodness, what would you even do with that much? That’s way too much~ You’ll bankrupt Mom’s household~”
“Then give me ten million won!!”
“Oh my… now it’s gotten even bigger. I’ll give you a hundred thousand.”
“Uh… then a hundred and fifty thousand…”
I had my pride too. At least a hundred and fifty thousand.
“Fine. I understand.”
“Yesss!!”
I won!! Hehehe. Yes! Yes!!
“Is that why you called? If that’s all, I’m hanging up now~ Mom’s busy~”
“Okay!! Wait, no!!!!”
I almost fell for it. If I hadn’t grown at all, I would’ve been completely played. That wasn’t why I called in the first place. Heh… Mom really is something else. If I hadn’t matured, she would’ve gotten me for sure. One hundred percent.
“No… so you really did pay for everything with my money?”
“I did.”
“How much did you spend? I had no idea!!”
“Once it’s all processed as expenses it’s fine, so… you have to spend what needs spending.”
“But… it’s my money.”
“No, it’s not. Our baby is still too young to understand. Until you pay taxes, it’s not your money. It belongs to the country. Only after you pay taxes does it become yours.”
“Gasp… I haven’t paid taxes yet. Does that mean I’m going to get arrested?”
No… I didn’t know!! I really didn’t. I thought that fee was just the platform’s cut. I figured since I was paying twenty percent, I was someone who diligently paid their taxes. They never told me it was a fee. I don’t have any money… Wait, no—the bankbook is with Mom. Mom committed tax evasion!! No, that would make Mom a criminal!! That can’t be. Our mom is the most upright, incorruptible person who’s never been near crime!! The world is just being unfair. Our family hasn’t done anything wrong!!
“People like Seon-a pay in May~ Don’t worry.”
“Oh… then I really need to save money, right? I shouldn’t eat anything tasty anymore?”
“You can still eat~ Our Seon-a… Mom has to go now. Let’s talk properly next time.”
“Gasp…”
That tone… thirty minutes of lecturing, guaranteed. This was bad!!! Beep beep beep. Total emergency. I couldn’t let her come. I remembered the first time I lived alone. She’d show up almost every other day. I hadn’t even adjusted yet and she’d be going “Do this, do that…” The ultimate nagging champion. Now she only comes once a month… and even that’s exhausting. She nags nonstop. Aaaagh!! Do you know how hard I worked to get this freedom? Two days of silent treatment and refusing to eat… I earned my title as the Queen of Stubbornness. I’m known for my bull-headed persistence. I barely managed to secure this independence!! I have to protect it. I have to.
“It’s not ‘gasp,’ you’re doing well, right? You’re keeping everything Mom wrote down for you?”
“Of course!! Open the windows every morning. Throw out food waste right away. Even when it’s annoying, scrub the dishes clean. Do my exercises… Take my vitamins every day.”
Except for the exercise part, I was doing pretty well. I just hadn’t understood at first… but once I repeat something enough, I get the hang of it.
“Are you really exercising?”
“Uh… yes?”
“You’re not, are you?”
“Gasp… How did you know?”
“Mom knows everything.”
How on earth did she know? I was genuinely curious. It didn’t make sense. How could she tell? It’s just a phone call—she can’t even see my face. Mom really is incredible.
“You’re right! I’m not great at exercising.”
“You have to do it.”
“Yes! Yes!! Loyalty.”
“Anything else you want to say? Or anything uncomfortable or difficult?”
“Um… uh…”
Was there something I needed to say? It felt like there was something important. What should I say? Think. Come on, think. Um… um. I stared at the ceiling with a determined look. Anything uncomfortable? Well… nothing really… Ah! There was one thing. Something had come up.
“Ah! Right. Mom, I want to move back to Seoul.”
“Oh!!! Really? You want to come back home? Our baby made a good choice. Home is best, isn’t it?”
Mom’s voice suddenly brightened.
“No, no. I mean I want to live in Seoul. Not at home!!”
It was more comfortable being alone!! No one nagging me. I could wake up whenever I wanted. I could buy whatever items I felt like. I could eat whatever food I craved. It was so nice. Plus I could meet Maru, Pyeongjipja, Moddeok, and Raming in Seoul… I’d have to drag Maem over from VRChat too. The round trip taking an hour or two each way was surprisingly tiring. Only because she told me to speak up did I remember. If she hadn’t asked, it never would’ve occurred to me.
“Really? Oh, that’s great. So when are you planning to move up?”
“I don’t have a set date yet…”
Oh!! What if I moved when Maru moved? I could live in the studio apartment right next to hers. That would be perfect!! How did I come up with such a smart idea? I’m really becoming impressive.
“Ah! I’ll tell you later!! Once everything’s sorted out, I’ll let you know.”
“Okay. Okay. Good thinking.”
“Yes!!”
Mom sounded really happy. Anyway, I ended the call and immediately phoned Pyeongjipja. She must be so busy. Now that I thought about it… I was a proper working adult too. The thought made me giggle. Hehehehe. Laughter kept bubbling up.
“Hello.”
“Pyeongjipja, I called. Mom said since the editor is my employee, it counts as expenses.”
“Excuse me? A security guard?”
“No, no. Expenses. Business expenses.”
“Ah~ Processing it as an expense.”
“Yes! Exactly!! Did you already handle it?”
“Handle what?”
“Mom didn’t process it as an expense?”
“Ah…! I already did. She bought me a new computer.”
“…?”
Huh? For a second I pictured my eyeballs popping out of my head with a cartoonish “boing” sound effect. What did she just say? She bought a computer? That had to be with my money too, right?! I was genuinely shocked. The resolve I’d made earlier wavered. Pyeongjipja handled it herself… Yeah, Pyeongjipja should be the one taking care of things…
“We really have to work super hard. Like, seriously super hard…”
“Yes!!”
“Really super hard… super hard… Fighting today too!!”
“Fighting!!”
“Fighting!! Really fighting!!”
We had to work incredibly hard. Harder than ever. Ugh, ugh. I’d been happy before taking that red pill… but suddenly, slowly, a heavy sense of pressure crept up on me.
More importantly… what should I do today? I had to work hard no matter what. I needed to think. I had to put in real effort. What should I do? Hmm, when I’m stuck like this, there’s only one answer. I immediately opened YouTube. YouTube is god. Everything is in there. It’s a content library. If I see something I like, I can just watch and copy it. Nothing catching my eye? Then I can rewatch Maru, Moddeok, or Raming’s streams and copy them. Yeah, no need to overthink it. The important thing is to work hard at whatever I choose. Right now, I just need to work hard.
I scrolled through videos for a while before finding it!! The game Moddeok and Raming had played together before. A cute little game where you tame monsters and explore together. That was the one.